 Category :: Humor Articles |
Author :: Andy Alt  |
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| Article Title :: Being Right or Being President isn't a Popularity Contest |
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| Having a President who prefers fascism might seem like a fun time, especially if you're working for him, or in the oil business, but sometimes Democracy can suffer. For instance, Mr. Bush doesn't care about poll numbers. "Bein' President isn't about bein' popular. There were two popularity contests, and I wun both of 'em. It dudn't even matter if I wun 'em by cheatin', they're over now, and I'm in charge."Quoting people accurately isn't one of my specialties. People may lean toward accurate reporting, but I don't really care. A good reporter might be more popular, but good reporting isn't about being popular."Mister President, if you're working for the American people, why d (read full article) |
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| Category :: Humor Articles |
Author :: Marge Holley |
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| Article Title :: From Granny's Journal: Cats, Mice and Houseguests |
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| What is it with all the cats in the winter? Do they forget how to catch mice? They are so round and fat they look like they are going to explode, yet when you put food in front of them they eat as if they were starving. Sort of like my mother-in-law. Wait! Scratch that. Never mind. Don't. What are the chances she'll read anything I wrote? My sister-in-law can tell her.We're having a heat wave. It warmed up to 33 degrees. The icicles started melting and falling off of the house. One of them almost got the cat, like a spear. I'm sure that the scare took away one or two of his nine lives.
How come mice never have accidents. They chew through electric wires, cause fire (read full article) |
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| Category :: Humor Articles |
Author :: Cornelius Babasanya-Craig |
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| Article Title :: Why I Did Not Become A Surgeon |
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| From my early teens, my dad spent time counseling me on my choice of profession. At an early age, I had the mind to study law. I joined the debating society in school as a preparatory step. In my last two years in school, I was the number one choice to represent my school in inter-schools’ debates. It happened that in 1953, during the masquerade festival in our locality in Abeokuta, a city in Nigeria, a lorry driver knocked down a masquerade. The accident occurred at a T-junction where our house was located. The accident victim was pronounced dead on arrival at the hospital. It was on a Sunday evening.The driver engaged the services of my brother, who was practicing as a lawyer i (read full article) |
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| Category :: Humor Articles |
Author :: Rajesh Kanoi |
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| Article Title :: Radished on a Train and Some More |
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| Pink on the outside and shiny white on the inside, the little olive-shaped radishes glistened in the bowl that the laoban's (boss's) wife placed before me. I dithered for a moment before I picked one and placed it gingerly into my mouth.Radishes have always brought back bad memories and for years I haven't touched anything that included them. I mean, I wouldn't touch any food that had the faintest hint of radish.I must have been ten and I was on a train with my younger brother and sister on our way back home from school in Jaipur in western India. Our mother's aunt was on the train with us. Each time the train stopped at a station she would buy something from the hawkers - f (read full article) |
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| Category :: Humor Articles |
Author :: Marge Holley |
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| Article Title :: Have I Ever Told You How Much I Hate People? Written by Two Little Old Ladies With No Friends |
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| People keep asking me who the other little old lady is. She must remain a mystery. Linda is her alias and she has used it many times to stay out of trouble. If I say anymore, I may blow her cover. As it is now, I may have to move to Boise and lose myself in the big city and also change my name if I can find someone to marry. And find a new dentist who hasn't read my book.My requirements for a husband are simple. He doesn't even have to be tall. I'm only five foot two inches myself. Linda helped me come up with this: Wanted: Single, white male; non-smoker, no drugs, no addictions of any kind, no serial killers, no bald heads, no hard-of-hearing unless he wears a hearing ai (read full article) |
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| Category :: Humor Articles |
Author :: Lance Winslow |
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| Article Title :: Jesus Was an Illegal Alien Too |
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| Many people may not realize this, but did you know that Jesus was an illegal alien too? Think of it. He really was wasn’t he? You know at first I did not believe it either, I thought to my self this cannot be real, until I saw him there. That’s right folks;As a matter of fact I saw him yesterday. As he finally got his fake IDs and he is now the assistant manager at McDonalds, but his 12 disciples still work at the local car wash I am told. I know he still works at McDonalds because he threw me out for food fighting yesterday morning. I agued with him because that egg mc Muffin tasted more like rubber than food, so I am not sure I was food fighting, so then I saw his name tag an (read full article) |
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| Category :: Humor Articles |
Author :: Lance Winslow |
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| Article Title :: All People Need to be Free from Repression |
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| As the world gets closer together and we see the human rights abuses and the pain and sorrow of so many poor people around the planet; one can only come to the conclusion that people indeed need freedom from repression. And let me give you a couple of examples of how bad things can be when people or things are repressed;You see we need freedom from re-impression. I know a guy who got a tattoo, using a machine and he did not take his arm out fast enough and it started the cycle over. He thought it was putting on some extra touches, but it was merely a re-pression. He felt very depressed after being repressed. I totally see your point. Had he jumped out like a frog as the machine was (read full article) |
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| Category :: Humor Articles |
Author :: John T Jones, Ph.D. |
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| Article Title :: UFO: The BFRO Bigfoot Sighting–Bigfoot's Reaction |
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| It’s springtime in Idaho, the water is rushing down from melting snow scaring the hell out of folks as it rushes down the streets of some Idaho mountain towns.One daffodil has poked its head in my front yard.There is a dead starling in the front yard too.I’m afraid to touch it. I don’t know if it died from the West Nile virus or the Chinkeroo bird flu.My spell checker says there is no such word as Chinkeroo. There is now. I just love that “add to dictionary” feature.Anyway, I just got back from Seattle and the great Northwest. When I got home, Xrytspet© from Fanton in G10009845788899990766 asked me if I had a chance to chat with Bigfoot (read full article) |
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| Category :: Humor Articles |
Author :: Lance Winslow |
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| Article Title :: FBI Must Hire More Homosexuals to Monitor Gay Fringe Groups |
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| We know that the FBI had to hire people who smoke pot in order to infiltrate the eco-terrorists groups to catch them. As most of these losers were pot smokers with no job and living in Oregon around the ultra-liberal far-left and indeed they fit right in with some of the deranged radical fringe of the environmental movements.If the Federal Bureau of Investigation is to catch the bad apples in the gay fringe groups who wish to disrupt and cause terrorist acts then they will need some gay guys who are willing to play the game all the way and stick their member’s members where the sun does not shine if you catch my drift? How can they infiltrate this group any other way?What (read full article) |
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| Category :: Humor Articles |
Author :: Tom AtteaNewsLaugh.com - |
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| Article Title :: The Headless Horseman Of Mass Media: Information Everywhere, Philosophy Nowhere |
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| Did you ever notice that we’re surrounded by information but hardly ever come across an idea in the media that might help us lead sane and happy lives? Oh, not the usual self-help drivel about how to lose weight or enjoy sex, but answers to the really big questions, like what to think about when you wake up in the morning and how to drink water out of a plastic bottle without burping.
Try this experiment. Next time you go up to your favorite newsstand, scan all the overwrought front pages and smiley cover stories and try to find at least one suggestion that addresses the biggest questions your have about life. We’re not kidding around here. We’re talking about the big slam (read full article) |
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