Category :: Humor Articles |
Author :: Theolonius McTavish  |
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| Article Title :: ON THE IMPORTANCE OF ELEPHANTS |
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| Copyright Theolonius McTavish 2004. ON THE IMPORTANCE OF ELEPHANTS-- Or, can you tell me where I can find “Babar”, “Dumbo” or “Topsy”? --According to Google, 826,000 websites are devoted to the topic of elephants.Just imagine what would life be like if there were no behemoths rambling about to give someone a bad-hair day?Actually these boisterous bruisers have been around for millennia; so long in fact that 4,000 years ago, people in the Indus Valley decided it was about time to tame them.Besides hauling around oodles of stuff, including monarchs and their entourages, the plump pachyderms became the weapon of choice for ancient warrior (read full article) |
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Category :: Humor Articles |
Author :: Rocky Ramsey  |
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| Article Title :: Osama and Saddam |
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| Osama and SaddamYou know that if he could've done it before 911, Osama would've come out of his cave and gone to the top of a mountain where his cell phone reception was better and had a conversation with Saddam that would've probably gone something like the following (translated into English for your convenience):Osama said, "Hello, Saddam?""Who's this?" Saddam asked."Osama.""Omarosa?""No, Osama. Hold on while I try another spot… Can you hear me now?""Osama! What can I do you for?""Saddam, my buddy, my friend. You know that we've never quite seen eye-to-eye.""That's because you're almost eight (read full article) |
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Category :: Humor Articles |
Author :: James Collins  |
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| Article Title :: Out of Africa |
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| Out of Africa An Improbable Tail A few weeks ago there was a small stir of excitement in our area, which briefly lit up the gloom of our northern Scottish winter like the Northern Lights, which are quite visible to us at this latitude. Apparently a man - a Marine, no less - had walked, wearing nothing but a grin and a beard straight out of Lord of the Rings, from the south of England into Scotland, up past Loch Ness and the Highlands where I live, and on to the very northernmost point, John O'Groats - in winter. A Scottish winter, at that. I'm not sure where his starting point was but he must have walked about six hundred miles. Forest Gump would have been impressed. It was eithe (read full article) |
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Category :: Humor Articles |
Author :: Perry Estelle  |
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| Article Title :: Package Baggage |
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| It always fries my brains when I have nothing more creative to do with my time than visit a computer store. It is a bit like sending a Brit soldier to the gulf without any body armour. I am always caught between the friendly fire of spotty computer experts who start rubbing themselves up against a flatscreen thinner than a fagpaper while explaining the difference between 12 bit and 16 bit digital processing. The ears loosen from the moorings I start to suck my thumb and playfully kick the heels. Apart from the ugliness of computer furniture, I have very little to say about it all as it is not my chosen field. I might add that I find the odd transition of white to black monitors although some (read full article) |
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Category :: Humor Articles |
Author :: Marketing Basics  |
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| Article Title :: Search Engine Basics: Title And META-Tags |
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| Your Title-tag and META-tag are simply lines of text inserted into the HTML code of each of your web pages. The Title-tag is one of the most important pieces of information for a search engine. The Title-tag should describe exactly what the web page contains. It should contain keywords, but not repeats, of terms you hope to be found for. It should also be as readable as possible. The Title-tag will be the first thing someone sees in a search result.The Title-tag should be no longer than 70 characters and should contain words and phrases that accurately describe the content of a page. Try to make the Title-tags located throughout your s (read full article) |
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Category :: Humor Articles |
Author :: Rev. James L. Snyder  |
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| Article Title :: Pastors and politicians; It's my party, I'll cry if I want t |
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| Gary Hemsely was running for some county political position — I've forgotten which one now. What I do remember is that he was a member of my church at the time.Sometimes a pastor can get between the Rock of Ages and a politician without trying too hard. That seemed to be my predicament with Gary. In all things political, I have maintained one basic philosophy: Ask not what your country can do for you, just get out and vote.I must admit, there are times when it is tempting to throw caution to the wind, roll up my pant legs and wade into the political arena. After all, Christians were the first ones in the arena in the "good ole days." The problem, as I remember from the hist (read full article) |
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Category :: Humor Articles |
Author :: James Collins  |
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| Article Title :: Patch - a Scottish Collie |
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| Scottish Pet Portraits Patch A Scottish Collie It seems as if I've always had dogs around; in my work as a pet portrait artist, under my feet or occupying my favourite chair at home. And also in memories stretching way back into the mists of time, by which, for the curious and the literal, I mean the sixties. The first dog I can remember as a toddler was called Bonzo (yes, well, I told you it was a long time ago and I think it was probably quite a fashionable name at the time). He was a mutt, no doubt about it; brown, white and orange, and I used to sleep on the stairs with him. Then came Jock, named after my father, who didn't live with us at the time. He had a (read full article) |
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Category :: Humor Articles |
Author :: Al Hanzal  |
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| Article Title :: Your Business Deserves a Second Chance! |
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| Your Business Deserves A Second Chance! When you started your business, you dreamed your customers would love your products and services. They would be excited. You would make money doing what you love. Then reality set in. You put lots of time in your business. You got fewer profits. Now you compete with every Tom, Dick and Harry to sell your product or service. The future is not secure. Today, you get a second chance to change your business picture. A fresh start! In this article, you will focus on the second of five critical issues that influence how customers come to your business. Last issue we focused on your target population. This time, you can complete an exercise to cl (read full article) |
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Category :: Humor Articles |
Author :: Robert Levin  |
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| Article Title :: Peggie |
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| During my twenties and thirties it was my goal to have sex with every physical type of woman on the planet. I’d prefer not to hear any stuff about this. I was proceeding from the belief that by sleeping with a representative of every kind of female body, and every category of appearance I would, in effect, come to know all women and that such an accomplishment would be good for my writing. Okay? Of course, even to gather only samples from what, you realize when you get into it, is a vast assortment of sizes, shapes and physiognomies, would have meant putting up numbers comparable to Wilt Chamberlain’s. And being all of five-foot-six, more skinny than slim—and wi (read full article) |
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Category :: Humor Articles |
Author :: Malcolm James Pugh  |
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| Article Title :: Poetry to make you smile at stupidy rampant at present. |
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| Utopia. My motorway is crumbling, With an enforced fifty limit, and what is even more humbling, Is there are speed traps in it, Still I use the extra petrol, Paying more tax as a result, Vainly seeking for a reason, Behind the latest congestion fault, Taking solace from my car, As it could have been the train, Better to just be delayed, Than never be seen again, And stagger home as ever late, To find a letter in the hall, From a burglar who is suing me, Over a dangerous interior wall, That coupled with the TVs weight, Caused serious damage to his spine, So he cant get out now to burgle, And its not his fau (read full article) |
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