 Category :: Humor Articles |
Author :: Greg Gagliardi  |
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| Article Title :: [Not So] Outgoing Mail |
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| I am currently perplexed by the concept of outgoing mail. I mean, I understand it in theory, but today I tried talking to it and it didn't even respond. What's so outgoing about that? I think it needs to be renamed "shy mail" or "introverted mail". And besides, the reason a lot of people send mail is because they are not outgoing people and would like to instead express themselves in written form. So a new name for this type of mail is only logical. I would suggest names like Ralph or Hector or Agnes, because people don't seem to send mail to people with names like those, and thus the name would be ironic...I'm confused because I constantly hear females saying that they want an ou (read full article) |
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| Category :: Humor Articles |
Author :: Roy Thomsitt |
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| Article Title :: American Independence – The True Story |
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| It was late in 1775, and King George III was at Buckingham Palace, sitting in reflective mood on his commode. His 13 year old son Prince George (yes, they were very imaginative with their names, those royal types), was sitting on the floor nearby, otherwise occupied with the 18th century equivalent of Game Boy: a model soldier with a rifle sat on a model elephant, shooting at a model tiger two planks of wood away.Their peace, tranquility, and respective modes of concentration were broken by the excited entry of a royal messenger. You could be excused for thinking that he had arrived over 200 years early for an audition for “Robin Hood – Men In Tights”.The tight clad me (read full article) |
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| Category :: Humor Articles |
Author :: Desiree Bruyere |
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| Article Title :: The Top 10 All Time Worst Jokes About Piano Players |
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| Here, for your barfing pleasure, are the top ten worst jokes of all time about piano players. Nothing personal, you understand, since I am one. But a little comic relief laughing at ourselves is good for both our soul and our humility.So without further ado, here are some of the all time worst piano jokes in descending order:10. What do a vacuum cleaner and an electric piano have in common.Answer: Both suck when you plug them in.9. What does a piano player dream about?Answer: Sheet music.8. What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?Answer: A flat minor.7. What's the difference between a piano accompanianist and a terror (read full article) |
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| Category :: Humor Articles |
Author :: Dennis Rymarz |
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| Article Title :: Used Condom Found In Restaurant Salad Bar; Waiter Embarrassed To Tears |
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| Evidence of after-hours activity turned up at a Big Boy restaurant salad bar in Detroit last week, embarrassing not only the perpetrators, but nearly everyone associated with the company.Apparently, Mike Finney and Rhonda Carrion were working together to close down the restaurant’s soup, salad and dessert bar and, with no one else around, culminated a night of flirting with sexual intercourse right on the bar. Witnesses said they’d been flirting almost the entire shift, and that it was just a matter of time before this happened."I speak for the entire company," said Big Boy spokesman, Bob Shue, "when I say that we are completely, totally, and unequivocally embarrassed at (read full article) |
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| Category :: Humor Articles |
Author :: Douglas Bower |
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| Article Title :: Mexican Spaminator |
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| When we decided to move to Mexico, one of the most exciting things that popped into my mind was that I would get a new Internet Service Provider and finally get off the 300,000,000 Spam lists that I was on. I thought for sure I would go insane if I received one more "How to Enlarge Your Manhood" piece of Spam—as if I needed to do that anyway (yeah right).But alas, there are things in life that you cannot escape no matter where you flee and Spam is one of them.The funny thing is, there apparently is not a market for the "How to Enlarge your Manhood" spam here in Mexico. I dare not speculate why although I would very much like to know. I am however, too squeamish to even thi (read full article) |
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| Category :: Humor Articles |
Author :: Dennis Rymarz |
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| Article Title :: Restaurant Manager Gives Out Sexual Favors As Performance Bonus, Raise |
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| While many restaurant workers worry and sweat in anticipation of an imminent job-related performance review, employees at Applebee's in Westland have adopted an entirely different attitude toward the employment evaluation process. This is due in no small part to the fact that the general manager, Lisa Blanco, rewards superior employee performance the old fashion way."We have the lowest turnover rate in the company," said Blanco, beaming. "I'm proud of the fact that when I get an employee, I know how to keep that employee happy and productive."Blanco started this unusual practice with her subordinates about five years ago, shortly after being promoted to management and immedi (read full article) |
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| Category :: Humor Articles |
Author :: Toni Kiser |
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| Article Title :: The Restaurant Chronicles, Part 1 |
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| Have you ever heard that saying, “The show must go on"? When you hear it, you think of what is commonly referred to as “Show-biz,” don’t you? But where can you go to see the best acting money can buy, any day of the week? No, I’m not talking about the theatre or TV. I’m talking about the “Restaurant-biz.” Servers, bartenders, hostesses, and restaurateurs act on a daily business. Their performance is crucial! Every movement, every word, every bite is an integral part of the restaurant-goers experience, and any one of these parts, if it isn’t just right, could lead to the restaurant-goer, well, going.Many a restaurant owner has held their breath as they flipp (read full article) |
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| Category :: Humor Articles |
Author :: Greg Gagliardi |
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| Article Title :: When It Rains, It Pours: Creating a Plan |
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| It's time for me to announce that I have a lot of skeletons in my closet. I keep them there to stop people from stealing my jackets. Some of the skeletons actually wear the jackets so they don't get cold. That may seem strange to people, but never has a skeleton complained to me..."And what if?" you may be thinking."What if what?" I may be thinking back to you."What if a skeleton complained?" you may clarify.Obviously if that were the case, then I'd use my skeleton key to lock the door. There's nothing I hate more than cold or numb skulls complaining to me about the temperature...Let the truth be known, though, that it is that time of year when the w (read full article) |
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| Category :: Humor Articles |
Author :: Mick Henry |
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| Article Title :: Space, and the Room for It |
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| Space exploration came a long way since I was the size of a measurable amount of it.I remember with some pain, my first ride on a penny farthing with its big wheel and long spokes that were well engineered to cut a foot or two off anyone's legs.With good timing though, I used my head and saved my legs.Anyway, I'm a long time looking and can see nothing in space worth a damn.What would keep it up?Some viagra from venus? I don't think so!Even if there was anything up there, who put it there? And how did they put it there? I never believed that Alien conspiracy business and often thought that a man that couldn't speak his mind, couldn't conquer much. (read full article) |
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| Category :: Humor Articles |
Author :: Rich Rojas |
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| Article Title :: Health Club Regulars –- Some of the People You're Likely To Meet at the Gym |
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| One of the great benefits of belonging to a health club is the huge variety of exercise equipment that’s available. It’s also a great place to meet and observe a wide cross section of society. Here are just a few of the more notable health club regulars:1. Screaming Banshee –- We’ve all been focused on our workout when out of nowhere comes a blood-curdling sound from the corner of the weight room. You look over and there’s a guy doing laterals with 20 lb dumbbells. It doesn’t matter what the exercise or weight is –- he’s screaming with every rep. If it helps his workouts, then more power to him! It certainly makes a good case for a Walkman.2. The St (read full article) |
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