 Category :: Humor Articles |
Author :: Greg Gagliardi  |
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| Article Title :: A Polar Valentine |
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| Over the years I have blamed the downfall of society on multiple people, places and things. And then when I ran out of nouns, I moved right into the pronouns, even though I consider myself an amateur. But this time I have the proper target for anything bad that has ever happened to anyone at any time: television broadcast teasers...Such teasers are the 15-second blurbs that serve as commercials for upcoming television news shows that note, "Later tonight, we will tell you if the snow will accumulate 15 inches -- or maybe it won't snow at all!" On a good day, a teaser might be more along the lines of "There is definitely a murderer living in your town. Find out tonight if it's y (read full article) |
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| Category :: Humor Articles |
Author :: Randall Ulbricht |
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| Article Title :: A Deep Look into Soap Operas |
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| You have got to love soap operas. From the intricate plots and finely woven webs of deceit, to the depths of schemes, they were, are and always will be classics. They are timeless. I wrote this article as my take on them back in 1970 when filling white space for our high school paper. Watch a few soap operas for the next few days and see for yourself how closely they resemble soap operas 36 years ago…
And now for that thought provoking question that plagues men’s souls unceasingly through the bright shining of the day and through the untold dark depths of the night:
Why did Peter, who in reality is actually Superman, fake that he stubbed his toe on the 17th ston (read full article) |
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| Category :: Humor Articles |
Author :: John Sammon |
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| Article Title :: You're an Animal! |
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| I’m an overworked city man with a polluting old car, an aching back, endless bills and threatening letters almost daily from the IRS.I drive to work, where I’m also under threat. Not enough sales.Could I be terminated? What will I do?The sales meeting in the office begins.Suddenly, I’m flying through the trees on a vine as “Jungle Lad,” muscles rippling as I effortlessly swoop down and scoop up “Marian Pure Heart,” the milk-skinned, voluptuous, D-cup maiden dressed in ragged and skimpy safari skirt. Up in my tree house, I have her under my power.She stares at my huge, nearly naked torso (I‘m wearing a leopard skin string), sweat dripping (read full article) |
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| Category :: Humor Articles |
Author :: John Sammon |
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| Article Title :: Chin-ups are Pleasant |
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| All my life I have had tremendous sexual energy. Lust that’s been hard to work off. If this Olympian type carnality could have been properly harnessed... I would have been like King Solomon.With five hundred descendants.And God help the world if that was the case. One of me is enough.When you lust all the time, let’s face it, even for the luckiest of us, Brad Pitt for example. I don’t care who you are, there’s only limited opportunities to expunge it.But it has to be expelled somehow.This has led to some extremely embarrassing moments. My parents, like most parents of the Baby Boom generation, taught me shame of the human body and sexuality….ev (read full article) |
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| Category :: Humor Articles |
Author :: Josh Greenberger |
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| Article Title :: The Worm-Train Theory: A Satire On Evolution |
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| Did evolution begin on Long Island?There is overwhelming evidence suggesting that if you incubate three dozen worms in a solution of amino acids and carbon compounds for approximately one and a half million years they will eventually evolve into the Long Island Railroad. The only problem with this theory is that if this were true some species of fish would have a natural tendency to ride the Long Island Railroad. But fish have never actually been observed commuting between Long Island and Manhattan.A group of enterprising archaeologists, however, found the missing link to this apparent puzzle. Digging through the ruins of an old Long Island Railroad yard, they came across a (read full article) |
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| Category :: Humor Articles |
Author :: Lance Winslow |
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| Article Title :: Religion and Theories on What Being Human Actually Is |
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| When you ask someone what it means to be human or what life really is, you may be shocked at some of the bizarre answers you will get. Recently in an online think tank someone stated that; “We are materialist beings intertwined with hyper-dimensional, emotional connection with alien species.” And that; “God said when the people start doing bad things they shall not need me on this earth, and will replace me with nothing but Satanism.”Yah, that is what I thought myself when I heard this, yet this gentleman actually believed this. You might be shocked to find people you know really well have some pretty bizarre interpretations of the life experience, some born of religious te (read full article) |
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| Category :: Humor Articles |
Author :: Lance Winslow |
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| Article Title :: What Do You Call Dick Cheney Shooting a Lawyer |
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| A Good Start!Now that is one great American, leading by example. Indeed it was great to see he shot the Lawyer in the foot so he could not sneak or slither away. Unfortunately as Vice President Cheney moved in to finish him off, someone else noticed and he had to stop. But it is the thought that counts. Why is it that it takes such great leaders to do what everyone has longed to do their entire lives?If everyone in real man in America took out one Lawyer hunting each year, why we would be rid of the whole lot of those boilerplate, word smithing, professional parasites in no time. Just think of it no more lawyers. And hell if you shoot em’ how can they sue you, just be sure (read full article) |
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| Category :: Humor Articles |
Author :: Britt Gillette - |
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| Article Title :: Rush Limbaugh Humor: 2 Adult Beverage Recipes Any Dittohead Will Love |
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| During the course of his celebrated career, Rush Limbaugh invented the term "adult beverages" to refer to alcoholic drinks so as not to offend mothers with young children listening to the show. But no insight was given on where to find the best dittohead adult beverages. That's why I created The Dittohead's Guide to Adult Beverages, a political humor book fans of the show will love.
Just try out these great recipes:
ENVIRONMENTALIST WACKO WHISKEY
Glass: Your Own Cupped Hands
Ingredients:
1 Part Triple Sec (as long as it wasn’t made in a wicked corporate factory)
2 Parts Whiskey (homemade by Sierra Club members in an ear (read full article) |
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| Category :: Humor Articles |
Author :: Shawn Witmer |
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| Article Title :: Straight Guy with Queer Eye |
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| With the multitude of fashion forward media, I wonder when we will all get it. I didn't, until someone showed me a JCrew catalogue. When I stepped into my first Banana Republic, I was scared. But, the fear most likely came from the strategically placed mirrors. I could see myself.So, is that it? Are the fashion flunky's not getting there daily dose of vanity? Alright, I take that back. You don't have to spend an hour in the mirror, but a few minutes in the morning wouldn't hurt. Take pride in yourself.Alright, I hear you. I don't care what other people think! I don't care about fashion! Well, tell me where you are in life, if you don't care about personal appearance. I welco (read full article) |
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| Category :: Humor Articles |
Author :: Andy Alt |
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| Article Title :: How to Properly Deactivate a Bomb |
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| Movies have been made for decades -- many of them involve a bomb being deactivated. When I see a scene in which a bomb is deactivated 1-3 seconds before it's about to explode, I'm not impressed by the script writing. If I ever write a screenplay that includes a scene in which a bomb has to be deactivated, creativity will be my primary objective. In my story, the bomb will have one wire. That wire will be cut and the timer will stop. The timer's digital display will read no less than sixteen hundred seconds remaining.My idea lacks suspense, but it contains originality. I'm confident I'll be able to write some intensity into the remaining 118 minutes of the film. I have ideas for oth (read full article) |
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