 Category :: Parenting Articles |
Author :: Karen Alonge  |
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| Article Title :: Parent/Child Power Struggles: Who Needs It? |
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| Here's a quick tip to help you avert a power struggle with your child. (come to think of it, this tip works with adults, too!)Don't tell them what they need to do! Tell them what you want them to do. It sounds subtle, but it's very significant. Let's listen in on a conversation.MOM: Son, you need to clean your roomSON: No I don't. It looks fine.And the battle begins. What red-blooded kid could accept you telling him what he needs without protest? Especially if he happens to be at the age when his developmental task is to strengthen his autonomy?One of the greatest joys and privileges of being human is the ability to decide for ours (read full article) |
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| Category :: Parenting Articles |
Author :: Jennifer Hull |
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| Article Title :: Sharing Parenting Tips |
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| I faced a challenge when we started a family: my husband, Bill, had no
domestic skills. He wanted to share parenting. His flexible hours as an
academic allowed him to help at home. But he could barely boil an egg.Needless to say, our early experience was rocky. We persevered,
however, and the fifty-fifty parenting arrangement we worked out with
our first child made having our second baby much easier than it would
have been otherwise. What follows are tips from our experience and
from my reporting on the subject:*Be sure it's what you want. Sharing parenting involves
tradeoffs. As a mom, you don't always get to do things your way. You
negotiate childcar (read full article) |
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| Category :: Parenting Articles |
Author :: Jean Tracy |
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| Article Title :: Parenting Rules for Permissive Parents: Use These with Caution |
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| I remember a childless couple who slept with their dogs. They were clearly uncomfortable with the situation. Yet every night their dogs crawled into bed with them.During the day the two black labs ran through the house, climbed on the furniture, and regularly ate human food from the hands of their masters. Did you know some parents treat their kids like this couple treated their dogs? Let’s find out how.Recently, my own Yellow Lab, Chum, had knee surgery. While sitting in the waiting room, I noticed this sign on the doctor’s wall.Dog Rules:
The dog is Not allowed in the house.Okay, the dog is allowed in the house, but Only in ce (read full article) |
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| Category :: Parenting Articles |
Author :: Karen Alonge |
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| Article Title :: Reinventing Time-Out |
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| Parents are often advised to put their child in time-out as a form of discipline. While this sure beats the old-fashioned method of spanking as a behavior management tool, it still presents a few problems. Not the least of which is … who’s gonna make him go?If he refuses, and you pick him up or drag him over there, haven’t you just resorted to controlling your child using physical force? And how much different is that, truly, from spanking?I have a proposition for you. Instead of giving your child a time-out, take one yourself! After all, YOU are the only person whose body you can easily move. And your attention is the ultimate goal of most misbehaviors.Im (read full article) |
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| Category :: Parenting Articles |
Author :: Jeff Herring |
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| Article Title :: Parenting Your Teenager: What Happens When Parents Think Apart |
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| Where did we get the crazy idea that parents have to agree on each and every facet of parenting?Just stop and think about it a moment. Two people from different homes and backgrounds, are now supposed to come together and agree on every involved in something as complicated and complex as parenting.I just don't buy it.In my experience working with families for over 25 years now, parents do not have to think alike on everything. They do, however, have to do what I call think together.It's fairly easy to spot when parents are caught up in thinking apart.Signs of thinking apartEach parent believes that he or she has the right way (read full article) |
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| Category :: Parenting Articles |
Author :: Noel Swanson |
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| Article Title :: How to Get Your Children to Behave |
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| We all know what a bad parent looks like: intolerant, constantly critical, more interested in their own affairs (in both senses of the word) than in the needs of their children. But what does it take to be a good parent? What does it take to give your children the very best start to life that you possibly can?In the 1960's John Bowlby did a lot of work looking into the effects of parenting on children. In those days he coined the term "good-enough parenting". His thesis was that provided you avoided the sins of "bad" parenting, you were doing okay, and your children, with their own natural resilience, would also do okay.So is that all there is to it? Or are there things that (read full article) |
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| Category :: Parenting Articles |
Author :: Jeff Herring |
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| Article Title :: Parenting Your Teenager: What Happens When Parents Think Together |
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| From thinking apart to thinking togetherI see so many parents get stuck in the erroneous belief that they have to agree about every facet of parenting.It's a myth folks. Parents do not have to agree on each and every facet of the complicated job of parenting.While parents do not have to think alike, in order to have a healthy and well functioning family, parents do have to learn to think together.There are many ways to move from thinking apart to thinking together.One of the simplest is to try on, even if only for a day or so, the parenting style of the other parent. This works because each parent can learn form the other and discover how another (read full article) |
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| Category :: Parenting Articles |
Author :: Jeff Herring |
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| Article Title :: Parenting Tips: Taking a Management Approach with Teenagers, Part 1 |
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| The first part of a management approach is that the parents are clearly in charge.Notice I am saying in charge, not in control.Now in no way am I saying that parents should let teens do whatever they want. There is way too much of that going around already.Actually I am saying just the opposite. A key sign of a strong and healthy family is when the parents are clearly in charge of the situation.Authoritarian vs. authoritativeThe key distinction here, the difference that makes the difference, is between an authoritarian parenting style and an authoritative parenting style. An authoritarian style comes from a controlling approach, while an authorita (read full article) |
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| Category :: Parenting Articles |
Author :: Jeffrey Nicely |
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| Article Title :: Breaking the Silence of Struggling Children |
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| Growing up as the oldest of two children in a small town in the mountains of Virginia, everything appeared normal on the surface, but inside, I struggled silently and alone. I wasn’t into sports but I was a very motivated, creative, and hardworking young boy. Doing my best to win the favor of my parents through accomplishments and hard work, I felt different and alone. I was sensitive, neat, clean, somewhat of a perfectionist, yet always ready to help others in times of need. This was my life, but to me I felt that I was not quite what my parents had in mind. Rather than bonding with me, my dad found other neighborhood boys to connect with while I retreated to the safety of my person (read full article) |
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| Category :: Parenting Articles |
Author :: Jeff Herring |
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| Article Title :: Parenting Tips: Taking a Management Approach with Teenagers, Part 2 |
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| A good way to set things up is that the teenager, over time. can learn and earn the ability to be more and more in charge of themselves.Over timeNotice that I said over time.What this means in the day to day world of parenting is that parents give teens enough rope, not to hang themselves, but enough rope to grow themselves.You don't hand someone who has had little or no responsibiltiy a huge responsibility all at once. You don't give a kid who has had no opportunity to demonstrate responsibility a brand new car.I know that sounds like common sense, but I see parents do this all the time. And then they wonder why it did not work out so great. (read full article) |
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