 Category :: Parenting Articles |
Author :: Douglas Cowan, Psy.D.  |
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| Article Title :: One Definition of Success |
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| As parents, we want our children and teens to grow up and "be successful." But what "being successful" means depends on our definition of "success" in the first place. Obviously "success" means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. Our definition of success has become "The Progressive Realization of Moral, Virtuous, or Godly Goals."
As a parent, how are you defining "success" for your children? How do you define "success" for yourself as a parent?Â
Each of these questions is important for us to think through. Many of us, kids included, only define success in terms of what we have, or what we have accomplished so far in life. Some define success in ter (read full article) |
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| Category :: Parenting Articles |
Author :: Douglas Cowan, Psy.D. |
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| Article Title :: Building Your Child's Self-Esteem |
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| According to researchers, most children enter school with a good sense of self-esteem (at least as defined by psychologists) and yet leave high school with a poor sense of self-esteem. What happens in those years between starting school and finishing school?
If we are to define self-esteem as "having feelings of worth or value," then people with adequate levels of self-esteem should display a sense of realistic confidence in their abilities and performance. People with low levels of self-esteem would be expected to display feelings of inadequacy, a fear of failure, a sense of being unworthy, and perhaps depression.  It is estimated that 25-35% of children have Learning (read full article) |
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| Category :: Parenting Articles |
Author :: Douglas Cowan, Psy.D. |
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| Article Title :: Classic Parenting: Encouragement, Praise, Acceptance, and Responsibility |
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| Encouragement comes when you focus on your child's assets and strengths in order to build his/her self-confidence. It comes from seeing the positive. Even failures can be outstanding learning experiences. Encouragement sounds like this, "I like the way that you did that," or "I know that you can do it," or, "It looks like you worked very hard at that."
Encouragement is NOT giving compliments for work poorly done, but under those circumstances it IS inspiring your child to work harder and do better. "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up, according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." -St. Paul (read full article) |
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| Category :: Parenting Articles |
Author :: Douglas Cowan, Psy.D. |
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| Article Title :: The Different Types, or Styles, of ADHD |
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| Research literature, recent books, and common sense, all point to the fact that there are different types, or styles, of ADHD. In the past we referred to Attention Deficit Disorder: Inattentive Type, or Impulsive/Hyperactive Type, or a Combined Type. Today the diagnostic differences are a bit less clear, but the reality doesn't change.
Dr. Daniel Amen has written a great book on the subject, titled "Healing ADHD:The Breakthrough Program That Allows You to See and Heal the 6 Types of ADD" where he uses his SPECT scans of patient's brain activity to help in making his six classifications. His classifications include these "Types" ...
Classic ADD - Inattentive, distrac (read full article) |
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| Category :: Parenting Articles |
Author :: Douglas Cowan, Psy.D. |
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| Article Title :: The Classic ADHD Child Reminds Me of Tigger |
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| ADHD comes in differenty forms, or types. What has become known as "classic ADHD" is characterized by Inattention, Impulsivity, Hyperactivity, Restlessness, and Disorganization. This type of ADHD reminds us of Tigger from the Winnie the Pooh stories. Dr. Daniel Amen refers to this type of ADHD as "Classic ADHD" for good reasons. When you think about someone who has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, this is the classic picture that you think of.
Those with this type of ADHD are often seen as being easily distracted away from doing important things by unimportant things around them. They have a LOT of energy, and (read full article) |
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| Category :: Parenting Articles |
Author :: Douglas Cowan, Psy.D. |
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| Article Title :: Inattentive ADHD: Just Like Winnie the Pooh |
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| Winnie the Pooh is the classic picture of Inattentive ADHD. In other works we have called this "Space Cadet" style ADHD. These are people that suffer from "brain fog" as they go through their day. Although Pooh is very lovable and kind, he is also inattentive, sluggish, slow-moving, unmotivated. He is a classic daydreamer.
People with this type of ADHD are often easily distracted, and have problems staying focused on boring tasks, like homework or cleaning. Their ability to pay attention to a task that is not interesting, or is hard, is limited. They will often daydream when others are talking to him/her, They will often lose things, and cannot find anything that they have just pu (read full article) |
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| Category :: Parenting Articles |
Author :: Douglas Cowan, Psy.D. |
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| Article Title :: Over-Focused ADHD |
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| The least flexible character in all of the stories of Winnie the Pooh and Christopher Robin has got to be Rabbit. Oh, he can get a lot of things done, and he's the one character who will be prepared when winter comes, but he has a very hard time shifting from one activity to another. He is absolutely "task oriented" and is focused to whatever that task might be.
The person with "Over-Focused ADHD" is much the same. He has trouble shifting attention from one activity to another, and he frequently "gets stuck" in loops of negative thoughts. He can be obsessive, and very inflexible. He can also be oppositional and argumentative to parents. He may be like a "bull dog" and not give up (read full article) |
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| Category :: Parenting Articles |
Author :: Douglas Cowan, Psy.D. |
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| Article Title :: Teenagers in America Today |
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| "Family Matters" was the headline that caught my attention in the newspaper. That's the name of my radio program here in California's central valley. It was interesting enough for me to buy the paper and read the story. The article was about a recent study called The National Longitudinal Study on Adolescent Health, a survey of about 90,000 teenagers (age 12-18). The sub-headline was "Study debunks belief nothing works with teens."
My first response was, "Who's belief is that?" The reporter wrote as if a new revelation had just been handed down from heaven in the form of this study. As a result of this major study on adolescents, she wrote, we have found that "families are more i (read full article) |
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| Category :: Parenting Articles |
Author :: Douglas Cowan, Psy.D. |
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| Article Title :: A Call For Fathers |
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| Dads, please let me encourage you to change some things in your life. A recent University study found that the average father in America spends less than sixty seconds per day in conversations with his children!
The actual number was 47 seconds per day.Â
How in the world does that happen? Certainly we fathers love our children and want the best for them. So what does this study tell us about the focus of our investment in the lives of our children? Are we too focused on our work? Are we too focused on our paychecks?
What's with us men? Have we as fathers come to think that our kids really just need our money? I sure hope not.
Our children need us to loo (read full article) |
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| Category :: Parenting Articles |
Author :: Douglas Cowan, Psy.D. |
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| Article Title :: Challenges for Our Children |
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| Researchers have estimated that 25-35% of children in the United States have Learning Disabilities. At least 5% have Attention Deficit Disorders. All too many times during the course of their academic careers these children are labeled by teachers (or parents) as being "lazy," or "stupid." Remarks of this type are typically interpreted by the child as, "You're no good," and the self-esteem levels drop.
At least 50% of children will experience the divorce of their parents prior to turning 18 years old. Most children, for whatever reasons too complicated to go into here, will tend to place at least a portion of the blame for the par (read full article) |
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