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What's Stopping You?
by: Kathy Gates
We're all familiar with the cycle:
We want new, but resist change.
We want satisfaction, but procrastinate.
We want control, but defer to circumstance.
So, what’s stopping *you*?
A belief?
“I’m an incurable procrastinator, I’ll probably be late to my own funeral.” Beliefs like this dictate your thoughts, and your thoughts turn into action -- or in this case, *inaction*. Consciously turn those thoughts into something that can help you, not hinder you.
A habit?
While it seems too simple to actually have impact, success on any goal boils down to a good habit. If you eat well and exercise, you’ll be successful with a healthy lifestyle. If you don’t control your spending and put aside some for emergencies, you’ll conversely end up with financial woes. Do you habits help you or hurt you?
Easier not to do?
This is probably the most common stopper. “Sure, I’d love to have my own business, but…”. Change is not easy. No matter how small a change, you will feel uncomfortable at some points. We all know this, and sometimes it’s just easier to live with the ‘familiar unhappiness’ than to push through the inevitable uncomfortable feelings. Anticipate the feelings, and be ready to push through the change until it becomes a part of you.
Fear?
What if I’m not happier? What if I fail? What if I make a mistake? While the buzz words are “fear of failure”, often the more concrete reason is fear of looking silly or ignorant, or -- gasp! -- uncool. But without being able to accept failure, and possible even some ridicule while you learn, you are dooming yourself to the rut you are in. The same way a toddler has to fall over and over before he gets it right, you too will have to be willing to fall down, get up, and try and again.
So what can you do about these stoppers?
Minimize its impact in your life: Find, create, and set up the emotional, mental, or physical support you need.
Change it: Take a hard look at your daily habits. Are they contributing to what you want out of life? You can practice daily bad habits or daily good habits. It’s truly your choice.
Neutralize it: Turn the negative message into a positive choice. “Maybe I am a procrastinator, but that’s not something I’m born with like blue eyes. I can still control my brain, and make my choices on what I want, not on what a procrastinator might do.”
Remember This: The *only* difference between you and the people who are getting what they want in their lives is that they kept trying, kept learning, kept asking and negotiating and exploring -- kept moving forward, one step at a time. Get Moving!
About The Author
Kathy Gates is a Professional Life Coach in Scottsdale AZ. If you liked this article, you’ll love her “Beat the Procrastination Blues” program. Get more information at her website Real Life Coach, http://www.reallifecoach.com/ and sign up for the newsletter.
kathy@reallifecoach.com
This article was posted on August 30, 2004
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