 Quotation |
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| I must have a prodigious quantity of mind it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up. |
Mark Twain |
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| A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. |
Mark Twain |
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| Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow. |
Mark Twain |
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| Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century. |
Mark Twain |
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| A verb has a hard enough time of it in this world when it is all together. It's downright inhuman to split it up. But that's what those Germans do. They take part of a verb and put it down here, like a stake, and they take the other part of it and put it a way over yonder like another stake, and between these two limits they just shovel in German. |
Mark Twain |
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| Language is a city to the building of which every human being brought a stone. |
Mark Twain |
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| Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits. |
Mark Twain |
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| I've come loaded with statistics, for I've noticed that a man can't prove anything without statistics. |
Mark Twain |
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| It were not best that we should all think alike it is the difference of opinion that makes horse races. - from Pudd'nhead Wilson |
Mark Twain |
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| It is the difference of opinion that makes horse races. |
Mark Twain |
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| I have a prejudice against people who print things in a foreign language and add no translation. When I am the reader, and the other considers me able to do the translating myself, he pays me the quite a nice compliment-- but if he would do the translating for me I would try to get along without the compliment. (A Tramp Abroad,1880) |
Mark Twain |
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| Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person. |
Mark Twain |
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| Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising. |
Mark Twain |
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| When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels eat. |
Mark Twain |
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| When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. |
Mark Twain |
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| Why shoudn't truth be stranger than fiction Fiction, after all, has to stick to the possibilities. |
Mark Twain |
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| You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. |
Mark Twain |
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| Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear. |
Mark Twain |
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| It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them. |
Mark Twain |
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| His ignorance covered the whole earth like a blanket, and there was hardly a hole in it anywhere. |
Mark Twain |
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| If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. |
Mark Twain |
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| Truth is more of a stranger than fiction. |
Mark Twain |
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| Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time. |
Mark Twain |
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| Quitting smoking is easy, I've done it hundreds of times. |
Mark Twain |
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| A house without a cat, and a well-fed, well-petted, and properly revered cat, may be a perfect house, perhaps, but how can it prove its title --from The Tragedy of Pudd'nhead Wilson |
Mark Twain |
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| I am not one of those who in expressing opinions confine themselves to facts. |
Mark Twain |
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| I cannot keep from talking, even at the risk of being instructive. |
Mark Twain |
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| A man with a new idea is a crank -- until the idea succeeds. |
Mark Twain |
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| A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way. |
Mark Twain |
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| Imagination is always the fabric of social life and the dynamic of history. The influence of real needs and compulsions, of real interests and materials, is indirect because the crowd is never conscious of it. |
Mark Twain |
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| After all these years I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her. |
Mark Twain |
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| Youth, large, lusty, loving- Youth, full of grace, force, fascination. Do you know that Old Age may come after you with equal grace, force, fascination |
Mark Twain |
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| The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money. |
Mark Twain |
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| Friendship is the marriage of the soul, and this marriage is liable to divorce. |
Mark Twain |
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| A classic is a book which people praise and don't read. |
Mark Twain |
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| Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live. |
Mark Twain |
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| It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you the one to slander you, and the other to get the news to you. |
Mark Twain |
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| Do something every day that you don't want to do this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain. |
Mark Twain |
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| He would come in and say he changed his mind -- which was a gilded figure of speech, because he didn't have any. |
Mark Twain |
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| The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug. |
Mark Twain |
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| In religion and politics people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand, and without examination, from authorities who have not themselves examined the questions at issue but have taken them at second-hand from other non-examiners, whose opinions about them were not worth a brass farthing. |
Mark Twain |
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| It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens. |
Mark Twain |
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| When I was a child people simply looked about them and were moderately happy today they peer beyond the seven seas, bury themselves waist deep in tidings, and by and large what they see and hear makes them unutterably sad. |
Mark Twain |
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| There are some books that refuse to be written. They stand their ground year after year and will not be persuaded. It isn't because the book is not there and worth being written -- it is only because the right form of the story does not present itself. There is only one right form for a story and if you fail to find that form the story will not tell itself. |
Mark Twain |
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| I am an old man and have a great many troubles, But most of them never happened. |
Mark Twain |
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| Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest. |
Mark Twain |
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| There are lies, damned lies, and statistics. |
Mark Twain |
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| If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be--a christian. |
Mark Twain |
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| A man is accepted into church for what he believes--and turned out for what he knows. |
Mark Twain |
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| Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear, and the blind can read. |
Mark Twain |
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| When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years. |
Mark Twain |
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| Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul. |
Mark Twain |
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| There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race and finish the farce. |
Mark Twain |
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| The rule is perfect in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane. |
Mark Twain |
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| Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do. |
Mark Twain |
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| The miracle, or the power, that elevates the few is to be found in their industry, application, and perseverance under the prompting of a brave, determined spirit. |
Mark Twain |
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| Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness. |
Mark Twain |
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| There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting. |
Mark Twain |
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| Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform. |
Mark Twain |
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| Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable. |
Mark Twain |
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| Drag your thoughts away from your troubles.. by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it. |
Mark Twain |
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| I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position. |
Mark Twain |
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| I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him. |
Mark Twain |
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| A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read. |
Mark Twain |
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| All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence then success is sure. |
Mark Twain |
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| Pessimism is only the name that men of weak nerve give to wisdom. |
Mark Twain |
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| I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell you see, I have friends in both places. |
Mark Twain |
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| By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean. |
Mark Twain |
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| The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little. |
Mark Twain |
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| The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot. |
Mark Twain |
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| Cold If the thermometer had been an inch longer we'd all have frozen to death |
Mark Twain |
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| Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example. |
Mark Twain |
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| Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. |
Mark Twain |
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| It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. |
Mark Twain |
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| Wagner's music is better than it sounds. |
Mark Twain |
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| Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessaries. |
Mark Twain |
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| The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are right. |
Mark Twain |
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| Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. |
Mark Twain |
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| Necessity is the mother of taking chances. |
Mark Twain |
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| To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler--and less trouble. |
Mark Twain |
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| Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. |
Mark Twain |
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| Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than on all other days of the year put together. This proves, by the numbers left in stock, that one Fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so. |
Mark Twain |
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| There are two times in a man's life when he should not speculate when he can't afford it, and when he can. - from Following the Equator |
Mark Twain |
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| One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. |
Mark Twain |
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| There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress. |
Mark Twain |
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| Providence protects children and idiots. I know because I have tested it. |
Mark Twain |
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| There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist. |
Mark Twain |
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| Tomorrow night I appear for the first time before a Boston audience of 4000 critics. |
Mark Twain |
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| Some people get an eduction without going to college the rest get it after they get out. |
Mark Twain |
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| Go and surprise the whole country by doing something right. |
Mark Twain |
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| The trouble isn't that there are too many fools, but that the lightning isn't distributed right. |
Mark Twain |
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| Religion consists of a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain. |
Mark Twain |
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| We are called the nation of inventors. And we are. We could still claim that title and wear its loftiest honors if we had stopped with the first thing we ever invented, which was human liberty. |
Mark Twain |
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| There is no such thing as the Queen's English. The property has gone into the hands of a joint stock company and we own the bulk of the shares |
Mark Twain |
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| We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stop there lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again - and that is well but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore. |
Mark Twain |
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| What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before. |
Mark Twain |
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| What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight, what counts is the size of the fight in the dog. |
Mark Twain |
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| Few sinners are saved after the fiirst twenty minutes of a sermon. |
Mark Twain |
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| Be good and you will be lonesome. |
Mark Twain |
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| Everything has its limit--iron ore cannot be educated into gold. - 1906 |
Mark Twain |
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