ROBERT HARDMAN: Reminding us of the central message of VE Day itself, the Queen declared: 'Never give up, never despair.'

CHARLIE SKILLEN: Everything you've read this week has been about Manchester United. Where has it all gone wrong? What can David Moyes do? What difference will Juan Mata make to the side? Whatever the answers to those questions, one thing is for certain - they're far, far behind in the race to reclaim their crown of Manchester, let alone England.

How many players in Premier League history have had a position named after them? The Neville shuttle? The Bergkamp shadow? The Heskey statue? No – just one – Claude Makelele.

CHARLIE SKILLEN: Everton, for years the plucky underdogs, have been transformed by Roberto Martinez into genuine Champions League candidates. The Spaniard has brought about an immense change in style, outlook and ambition at Goodison Park.

With 12 games left to play in the Premier League, Liverpool sit just four points off top spot. Arsenal’s demolition at Anfield was followed up with the drab stalemate with Manchester United, while the usually free-scoring Manchester City have failed to find the net in their last two games.

Never had the Gunners faithful awaited a trip to the Stadium of Light with such excitement. After a summer of tearing their hair out thanks to the now-custom inactivity of manager Arsene Wenger in the summer transfer window, Arsenal fans were getting a chance to see a new signing – not just any signing, but a club record £42.5million capture from Real Madrid, Mesut Ozil.

CHARLIE SKILLEN: It's not every Wembley final that one of the teams is as big as 7/1 to lift the trophy. But then the League Cup isn't every Wembley final.

CHARLIE SKILLEN: Who is the best Premier League player of all time? It's a debate that has possibly filled more hours than any other, from expert TV panels to barstool bores in pubs everywhere in the country.

CHARLIE SKILLEN: This was supposed to be it. This was meant to be the year that Spurs finally shook off the also-ran tag and made a break for the upper echelons of the Premier League. Now, on the brink of the North London derby, the situation is rather different.

CHARLIE SKILLEN: Old Trafford was in raptures on Wednesday evening. Robin van Persie celebrating a hat-trick, David Moyes beaming as Manchester United overcame reached the Champions League quarter-finals. But in the harsh light of Friday's draw, just how much the win barely papered over the cracks was revealed.

CHARLIE SKILLEN: Whisper it quietly, but we’re actually quite excited about some of the players that could be wearing the Three Lions this summer.

CHARLIE SKILLEN: Five days, 120 minutes. That's how long it takes to ruin a season, apparently. Chelsea's 3-1 defeat at PSG to put them on the back foot in the Champions League came hot on the heels of the shock reverse at Crystal Palace.

THE NUMBERS GAME: All good things come to an end. For Roberto Martinez and Everton, that finale could come all too abruptly.

CHARLIE SKILLEN: The final four of the champions League rarely remains purely the domain of the planet's best sides. Usually, a fairytale underdog story - that of Porto, Liverpool or Chelsea - works its way into the competition's narrative. This season, that's not the case. This week, The Numbers Game selects a side from the cream of the Champions League semi-finalists. But who makes the grade?

CHARLIE SKILLEN - THE NUMBERS GAME: To err is human. To make the same mistake twice is plain daft. Those two words are easily linked with Manchester United this season, but as they enter this new era, the first priority should be to shake off David Moyes-esque mistakes.

Arsene Wenger says Arsenal, Chelsea and Liverpool are upset at not winning the Premier League. Manchester City all but sealed a second championship in three years by thrashing Aston Villa on Wednesday night.

CHARLIE SKILLEN - THE NUMBERS GAME: The dawning of Louis van Gaal's new era, while exciting and relieving for the Old Trafford faithful, may not be the best news for some of the players.

PAUL CONNOLLY: Swedes really don't like to stand out. They much prefer to blend in. They even have their own word for it: 'Jantelagen'.

Having read in the Sunday papers that, because of coronavirus, the over-60s should avoid routine visits to surgeries, I emailed my doctor to confirm that my annual medical check-up. would go ahead...

RICHARD LITTLEJOHN: Coronavirus is being blamed for the collapse of Flybe, despite the fact that the airline has been in trouble for years. The 2,000 staff who are out of work are rightly furious.

RICHARD LITTLEJOHN: If the BBC does summon the courage to revive Life On Mars, it should bring the show bang up to date and catapult Hunt forward in time to the present day.

RICHARD LITTLEJOHN: This is what it must have been like in 1940. Europe has fallen, the United States has gone into isolation and Britain stands alone.

RICHARD LITTLEJOHN: Today's edition of You Couldn't Make It Up comes courtesy of Islamic State, which has advised jihadists to steer clear of Europe in case they catch coronavirus.

RICHARD LITTLEJOHN: After Boris Johnson declared that Britain is on a war footing, it may also be time to bring back the Home Guard. Let's cross live to Walmington-on-Sea, which is already in lockdown

RICHARD LITTLEJOHN: Trouble is, I still can't work out what's occurring. And what really bothers me is that I'm not particularly confident that anyone else has a clue, either.

RICHARD LITTLEJOHN is giving readers an exclusive bootleg transcript of a conversation between Boris Johnson and Her Majesty The Queen, who seems to be quite concerned about how her dogs are fairing...

RICHARD LITTLEJOHN: Britain's top police officer, Met Commissioner Cressida Dick, yesterday promised that enforcement of the rules would be through persuasion, not punishment.

RICHARD LITTLEJOHN The app is reported to use similar technology to that which allows men to send unsolicited pictures of their private parts to women sitting on the same bus.

RICHARD LITTLEJOHN - Who could forget that famous photograph of Tom Watson at Glastonbury in 2017, looking like Super Mario's morbidly obese brother? Now, somehow, the music links return.

RICHARD LITTLEJOHN: We are all in this ­together. How many times have we heard that over the past few weeks?

RICHARD LITTLEJOHN: Scientists in Holland have worked out they can calculate the spread of the virus by studying sewage.

RICHARD LITTLEJOHN: Only Fools And Horses has topped a poll of classic TV programmes being binge-watched by viewers seeking solace during the coronavirus crisis.

RICHARD LITTLEJOHN: They called it the biggest gathering of musical talent since Live Aid, although to be honest I hadn't heard of half the acts involved.

RICHARD LITTLEJOHN: From the Off, I've been happy to admit that when it comes to the coronavirus crisis I don't have a clue. Is the lockdown justified? Should it be lifted immediately?

RICHARD LITTLEJOHN: On his return to work yesterday, Boris Johnson channelled his inner Winston Churchill and announced that we are nearing the end of the beginning in the fight.

RICHARD LITTLEJOHN: Back in 2004, in the run-up to the U.S. Presidential election, I was invited to take part in a special edition of the BBC's Question Time, live from Miami.

RICHARD LITTLEJOHN: Last week, in my CO-VE Day spoof, I joked about Extinction Rebellion reoccupying bridges across the Thames within minutes of the lockdown being lifted.

RICHARD LITTLEJOHN: Let's hear it for White Van Man. And Black Van Man, and every other shade of van man and woman. Where the hell would we have been without them over the past few weeks?

There’s been bad blood between Omarosa and Claudia Jordan, both Celebrity Apprentice stars, for months.

The hip hop superstar was hoisted above the stage at the end of Brown's rendition of Fine China and Don't Think They Know, which he performed with vocals from the late singer Aaliyah, whose image was shown behind the stage.

Rocked two distinct looks

But the 36-year-old singer performed a watered-down version with rappers Pharrell and T.I at the BET Awards in Los Angeles on Sunday evening.

Miley showed more flesh

As she stepped out at the 2013 BET Awards at Nokia Theatre L.A. Live in Los Angeles, California on Sunday, the 31-year-old actress flaunted her lady parts in a plunging blue gown.

There was no stopping Jordin Sparks from putting her curves on centre stage as she stepped on the red carpet at the BET Awards at the Nokia Theatre in downtown Los Angeles on Sunday.

A rogue gush of wind led to a Marilyn Monroe moment for Amber Rose - before she put on a very passionate display of affection with her fiance Wiz Khalifa.

She was accused on Twitter for lip syncing during a performance on American Idol earlier this year in May. And now Mariah Carey has been blasted for the same offense at the BET Awards.

He is surrounded by naked women on his infamous Blurred Lines music video, but Robin Thicke was only about being a dad as he took three-year-old son Julian for an outing Monday in Los Angeles.

The two were seen reuniting as they attended the after party at The Belasco Theater in Los Angeles, California on Sunday night.

Award winning actress and singer showed off the daring pixie crop