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So Not Worth It

A family friend asked me to work on her home computer.

Friend: “If you can’t fix it, I assume you messed it up beyond repair and will owe me a new computer.”

I stopped then and there.




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Makes You Want To Throw The Book At Him. Literally.

My boss is a seventy-something-year-old man with barely a clue on how to get a computer to boot. He gave me an old book and wanted me to convert it into an ebook to sell. And mind, this was a thick, large-format book chock-full of maps and other illustrations with tiny blackletter script.

Me: “Sure, I can do it, but I’d have to scan it in a massive resolution so the detail isn’t lost. The final file would be massive; it wouldn’t be practical to download it, and a normal ebook reader wouldn’t be able to display it correctly.”

Boss: “So, we’d have to make it less detailed.”

Me: “How do you mean?”

Boss: “It wouldn’t be possible with the illustrations; you’ll just have to make the writing bigger on all the pages.”

Me: “…”

Boss: “As for the pages with only text on them, you will just convert them into a Word document.”

Me: “That’s not how that works.”

Boss: “Why not?”

Me: “It’s just straight-up not possible, at least not with the software we have.”

Boss: “Can you do it on the Internet?”

Me: “No.”

Boss: “How do you know?”

Me: “I know.”

Boss: “Show me.”

I showed him that it’s not possible to convert a scanned book page into a text document on some random converter found on page one on Google.

Boss: “Okay, so you will instead cut the text out in Photoshop, make it larger, and arrange it on a new Photoshop file the same size, with less of a rim around it so the number of pages doesn’t get much higher.”

I flat-out refused, telling him it would be months of absolutely pointless work. He didn’t believe any of my claims, anyway, so I just converted the whole d*** thing into an ebook, which, in the end, was like 8GB in size. Since our server had 10TB, he also didn’t believe me when I tried to tell him that it was an absurdly massive file that few people would want to buy on that account.

Ah, well. At least I didn’t have to rearrange like 300 pages of text.




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BYOE (Bring Your Own Exposure)

I am a freelance writer with particular academic expertise. My work is becoming more well-known and widespread, so my profile is rising somewhat. As a result, I am emailed out of the blue by an old acquaintance whom I’d worked with previously on a media project. He works in the media himself, and it shows.

Client: “Hi, mate. Long time no see. So, I’m putting together a new site, all about [subject]. I reckon it’ll be a really great resource, but I’m trying to get it off the ground. Would you be willing to write a piece for it? With your profile, it would really help get it noticed.”

I realise it will be a very quick job, and I bear the guy no ill will, so I am fine to do him a favour.

Me: “Yeah, okay. Sounds doable. I’ll send something over in a couple of days.”

Client: “Great, thanks. I’m afraid there’s no budget, so I can’t pay you, but it will be great exposure for you.”

Me: “So, you’ll get exposure because it’s me writing for you, and that exposure will be how I’m paid?”

Client: “Yeah. That all okay?”

I just sent him a quick piece in the end, seemed easier. Never saw the eventual site; presumably, it didn’t happen because his “pay me to work for me” strategy didn’t pan out.




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Yeah, THAT Was The Unrealistic Part

Client: “We would like a drawing of a moose on skis.”

I send the art.

Client: “Why there were two feet on each ski?”

Me: “People ski on two skis and a moose has four feet so I put two on each ski.”

Client: “That is ridiculous!”

Me: “Which part? You’ll have to be more specific?”

Client: “Well, I’m pretty sure they don’t make skis that can accommodate two feet each!”

Me: “Right. That was a pretty big leap on my part, sorry.”




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Web Design Is Not Safe As Houses

This story happened a few years ago. A friend refers me to his mother, a real estate agent who wants a new website for her business. I call her to set up an appointment.

Client: “So, what is your expertise in real estate?”

Me: “I’ve done two real-estate websites in the past, and they’ve been quite successful. I can provide you with a searchable database of listings where buyers can filter by price and other factors, as well as a homepage with featured listings, your bio, and anything else you’d like to include.”

Client: “Yes, but have you ever sold a house before?”

Me: “No.”

Client: “Why not?”

Me: “Because I’m not a real estate agent. I’m a web developer.”

Client: “So how do you expect to do a website for me if you don’t know anything about being a realtor?”

Me: “I know enough to build a website with a listing database which you can very easily populate with descriptions, photos, and any other info you wish to provide the buyers with. I can also provide other tools, such as a mortgage calculator and a lead-tracking system that allows potential buyers to contact you with listings they are interested in.”

Client: “I really don’t think you know what you’re doing. I think I’m going to have to pass and find someone who knows how to sell a house.”

Later, I discovered she had finished her website. On Geocities. Yellow background. 50pt font. Seemingly designed by a ‘real’ real estate agent…




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Wait Until They Find Out About The "It's A Free Country" Part

Me: “I’ve looked at the brief and it’ll cost [total].”

Client: “I thought you were a freelancer.”

Me: “I am.”

Client: “No, you’re not. You’re a chargelancer!”




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Pretty Much What Most History Books Are Doing These Days

I’m designing a photographic history exhibit for a prestigious university. The project requires a series of panels that each depict a different decade, from the 1930s to the present.

Client: “You know, this is all great, but it could use a little more diversity. Right now, there are a lot of photos of all white men, and we don’t want to send the wrong message.”

Me: “Okay, that’s a reasonable request. I could pull some photos of your black student organizations and women’s center and add those to the panels showing the school’s more recent history.”

Client: “Actually, we’d love more diversity in the early panels too.”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Client: “Like this panel depicting the university in the 30s. All the photos are of white men!”

The school did not admit black students until the 1970s.




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There will probably be a physical Rita 3.

Categories: Blog

So. First off, a big thanks to everyone who weighed in with their opinions in the previous post. The results are as follows: Fifteen people are okay with there being no volume 3. Eleven people would be unhappy with me skipping to the omnibus, and might not buy it, and might wait for the omnibus […]

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Book 1/2 synopsis, wip

Categories: Blog

Yesterday, I dropped all the images from book 2 into a copy of the synopsis I made for the front of book 1. This morning, I started typing stuff beneath them. Wow. Things sure do get a lot denser in book 2. And they’re even worse in 3. Good thing I’ll never need to… oh […]

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HEY GUESS WHAT’S FINALLY ON KICKSTARTER

Categories: Blog, Uncategorized

Tags: , ,

Volume 3 and the omnibus are finally ready to get printed. Check it out here! Thanks in advance for your support in this, whether it’s in the form of money, spreading the word to your friends, good wishes, posting to link-sharing sites, or whatever.

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CABN modular homes will be part of a net-zero community

Where modern design, affordable living and sustainability meet, there is CABN. The first home of this project has just been created and soon, CABN's design will be the basis of a 67-home, net-zero community. If this is what the future looks like, there is hope that humans will actually have a healthy, happy future on this planet.[...]




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Who should have a garden pond in their backyard?

Garden ponds are increasingly becoming popular among homeowners. The scramble for ponds can be attributed to their aesthetics, growing appreciation for wildlife and environmental awareness. As homeowners increasingly become aware of the need to maintain a sustainable ecosystem, they are more willing to adopt unique ideas such as keeping garden ponds. But are garden ponds really sustainable?[...]




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Sleek school building is made with low-carbon concrete

The ways buildings are constructed has to change. It has become something else instead, something more sustainable, something newer. And it doesn't get much more modern than buildings that can actually move and adapt at will.[...]




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Tesseract home has views of the mountain and city

The spirit of sustainability and being eco-friendly is all about using what's already there. Use a piece of land the way it is, without hanging it to suit the needs of a building. In the spirit of reclaiming wood, repurposing furniture and making use of everything the Tesseract was created. This home is a beautiful reboot of a former bachelor pad turned beautiful multi-person home. It's warm, inviting and modern.[...]




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What do you need to know about plant walls?

Plant walls, also known as green walls, vertical gardens, green facades or living walls are structures that allow for vertical plant growth on structures like walls or trellises. These can be found in various spaces, including commercial buildings, residences and public areas. Vertical gardens can be found in both interior and exterior environments. Based on the project's design requirements, different systems can be used to set up a plant wall. Besides the aesthetic appeal they provide, green walls also come with many benefits, particularly for those that inhabit the surrounding space.[...]




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This island is a carbon-neutral, environmental dream world

Sotheby's is an iconic name in auctions, a decades-old seller of fine goods. Some of the world's most expensive jewels and rarest works of art have been sold here. Now, Sotheby's has put an entire island for sale. It's carbon neutral and already has some incredible buildings standing on it.[...]




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Here's how you could make your next camping sustainable

Camping is one of the greatest joys of summer. With warmer weather, you do not have to be the most experienced camper or have the best gear to survive cold nights. Even amateur camping trips have bug repellent, shelter and s’mores. Stepping up your camping game includes being more sustainable, and many of the ways to do that are easier than you think.[...]




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Are you eating tires in your salad? A new study says so

You probably haven’t given a lot of thought to the damaging effects of tire wear, at least when it comes to our food supply. But a study out of the University of Vienna (UV) will likely change your perspective on that. [...]




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What are 3D-printed meats and are they actually sustainable?

3D-printed foods are a growing component of the additive manufacturing industry. Within this realm, 3D-printed meat is gaining speed. Like other 3D-printed objects, edible material is extruded in layers to produce a variety of meat products, including ground meat, burger patties, sausages and kebabs. Nowadays, with advances in additive manufacturing, the ability to 3D print foods is becoming more widely accessible, cost-effective and eco-friendly. [...]





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Yoga Design Lab combines mindfulness with eco-friendly

As our awareness of how our actions impact the environment grows, it becomes increasingly important to integrate sustainability into all aspects of our lives. This includes the materials we choose for yoga gear. Yoga Design Lab offers a range of products that not only enhance the yoga experience, but also prioritize eco-friendly materials.[...]




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Cleanup plastic pollution with the easy Pixie Drone

Plastic and floating debris are part of a problem that is rapidly growing. The Great Pacific Garbage Patch (GPGP) is just one example of how water pollution and trash dumping are spiraling out of our control. Big, floating heaps of debris like the GPGP require interventions that are on a larger scale. This includes those carried out by The Ocean Cleanup, a nonprofit organization that removes floating ocean debris. However, what about smaller-scale solutions? Coastlines and local waterways also suffer from water pollution as a result of littering. This threatens biodiversity by causing illness and reproductive issues, particularly when aquatic[...]




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What can you do in your own home to improve air quality?

If you live in an urban area with cars, industry and unpleasant city smells, you might retreat to your house for safety from environmental pollutants. But how good is your air quality at home?[...]




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Water catchment home in Africa wins special recognition

A water catchment house design in Africa won Special Recognition in the Architectural Design category at the Design Educates Awards 2023. The design by Hong-En, Lin addresses the challenges of water scarcity and pollution in Africa by using local materials and traditional weaving techniques to create a clean and sustainable water source.[...]




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Will AI be important to the future of eco construction?

Global construction is one of the biggest consumers of resources and one of the biggest polluters. According to AI Magazine, construction is responsible for 38% of global energy consumption, and the building sector alone accounts for almost 55% of final energy use. Buildings also account for 40% of global final energy consumption and 33% of greenhouse gases. It's also well known that concrete and steel account for excessive emissions and material waste in building construction. [...]




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Wood furniture made from waste creates a circular economy

Wood is one of the most common materials used for manufacturing and construction. Despite it being a natural resource with potential for reuse and its biodegradable qualities, the wood used in the industry is far from circular. In fact, each year, millions of tons of this precious material are wasted. To prevent this, a group of designers from the firm Disrupt.Design Lab (D.DLAB) have been exploring the development of circular solutions for wood. By developing new techniques that combine advanced fabrication and traditional methods, the team aims to contribute to the development of zero-waste industries.[...]




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Making this wedding season an eco-friendly one for all

Wedding season is upon us, and thanks to a slowly retreating pandemic, there seems to be more than ever. Whether you are attending a wedding this year or planning one for next year, it is important to recognize the environmental impact that such an event can have. There is an average of two million weddings a year in the U.S., and they are some of the most expensive parties thrown around the world. Between travel, single-use objects and food waste, weddings produce 400 pounds of trash and 63 tons of carbon dioxide per event.[...]




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Here's how you can make your own clean compost

Have you gotten into gardening recently and want to learn how to make your own compost? Compost is a great resource for home gardens because it puts minerals back in the soil for peak production of flowers and veggies, plus you can make it out of things you already have around. Here is how to make your own clean compost, with a few tips on avoiding common problems. [...]




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Did you know dairy products can be made without cow or nuts?

From cows to goats to sheep, the availability of dairy is ubiquitous. But with copious environmental and health issues around traditional dairy products, alternatives are in the spotlight more than ever. Now there’s a way to enjoy yogurt, cheese and ice cream without a heavy reliance on animals or nuts. It’s called Precision Fermentation, and it puts an old technology to new use. [...]




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A passive design home that is built with forever in mind

Electrical grids in cities and countries are overburdened all over the country. Load reduction is no longer an idea, it's a necessity. Phuis is a nonprofit organization that is creating healthier buildings that are better for the planet and the people on it. They use passive building techniques and innovative design ideas to create energy-efficient homes, offices and public buildings. This breathtaking New York Forever House by Christina Griffin is an example of how Phuis is using its retrofit program to make homes from any era more eco-friendly for the modern homeowner.[...]




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Save water on your home garden with these helpful tips

The weather blocking patterns created by climate change have caused increasing challenges for home gardeners. They have to deal with drought for extended periods even if they don't live in a traditionally dry climate, and then flooding next. Moreover, the pest pressure alone can be frustrating in these situations. But you can do quite a few things to save water when taking care of your home garden, even when the weather is extreme. Here are some tips on how to save water on your home garden, year round and in all climates.[...]




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Explore the natural beauty of Norway by treetop walkway

A new elevated wooden boardwalk in Fyresdal, Norway invites visitors to embrace a simultaneous expression of exceptional design and environmental sustainability. Traversing the natural landscape, the six-feet wide boardwalk gracefully snakes from the forest floor, skirting the picturesque Lake Fyresvatn. It ascends amidst the lofty treetops, culminating at the majestic summit of Klokkarhamaren, all while protecting the environment against unnecessary harm. [...]




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Would you work at this all-timber Amsterdam office?

You probably spend more time at work than you spend at home. When you consider the amount of time you spend just sleeping when you're at home, you really do spend more quality time in the workplace on a lot of days. So shouldn't you be working in a healthy, beautiful and inspiring workspace?[...]




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Forest fires: why they matter and how to prevent them

In some ecosystems, such as high-latitude forests, wildfires are a natural occurrence. These help maintain healthy ecosystems by depositing nutrients into the soil and boosting seed dispersal. However, in recent years, fire seasons have become more extreme and widespread. This includes forest ecosystems where fires are uncommon, such as tropical rainforests. Consequently, this has led to devastating results for communities, flora, fauna and other organisms that live in and around these areas.[...]




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How to find clean makeup when you have allergies

How do you find clean makeup when you have allergies? Truth is, cleaning your makeup routine can be pretty hit or miss. This is because a lot of people aren't aware of what their allergies are until they run into a problem. [...]




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Now you can rent a 3D-printed home in Austin, Texas

The Casitas at The Halles by Hive 3D and Eco Material Technologies are a new project to create sustainable, 3D-printed homes for vacation rentals near Austin, Texas. These unique low-profile homes use a technology that creates 92% less emissions than traditional concrete. Round Top, Texas, 80 miles east of Austin, will now be home to the world's first near zero-carbon, 3D-printed neighborhood.[...]




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Did you know these surprising solar panel facts?

Solar panels are by far the best applicable technology for converting solar energy to usable electricity today. With the sun available to us around the year, it is only reasonable to consider taping its energy for domestic use. Even so, the currently available photovoltaic solar cell technology is still not as efficient as desired. The cells used in most solar panels have an efficiency of about 15% to 20%. This means that only about 20% of the sun rays that reach the panel are converted to electricity.[...]




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New Washington library is encompassed in sustainability

Sustainable construction and design have become a trendy topic in real estate, with homebuyers now proudly showing off their graywater systems and solar panels. But the new Mount Vernon Library Commons by HKP Architects in Mount Vernon, Washington proves that sustainable design can be used by any company, any government and anyone who wants to make an impression.[...]




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The best climate-adaptive watering systems for your garden

If you've grown a garden for a while, you may have noticed that the last few years have been brutal due to climate change-related patterns. One month it's drought and the next it's flooding. What is the best watering system for your home garden and can it help you navigate the climate ups and downs? Here are some great options with the pros and cons so you can decide the right garden irrigation system for your micro climate.[...]




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The largest wooden city in Sweden will be built in 2025

Among the oldest tools that human hands ever created are axes, used to chop wood for fires and buildings. Wood is truly the mother of sustainable resources, a material that will grow back again and again. And now, wood is becoming the "it" design material. Sweden is starting an ambitious new project called Stockholm Wood City that will demonstrate the majesty of wood, and the possibilities it represents in sustainable building. [...]




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What are the advantages of having a green home in the US?

With a current zeitgeist around environmental protections and sustainability, more homeowners than ever are focused on green design and eco-friendly features. Add in the benefit of energy and water savings and it’s easy to see why green homes are in high demand. But all is not equal with sustainable architecture from one area of the country to another. As a report sponsored by Payless Power shows, there’s a wide variation in the value of a green home, meaning if the goal is to benefit the environment and your pocketbook you may want to consider the location of your new abode. [...]




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An artwork that gives new meaning to a dead tree

Nature speaks for itself, while art amplifies whatever nature has to say. Artist Luca Gnizio has cut a niche for himself in amplifying the communications of nature. His latest project, Forsoultree, speaks more than words could. Yet, it is a project that goes beyond the creation of an artist. It features more than a hundred years of nature’s work ingrained in a dead tree trunk.[...]




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How the endangered American chestnut is making a big return

The American chestnut was all but destroyed by fungal blight and logged as settlements spread west when the United States was settled by Europeans. But lately, it's making a comeback. Endangered for years, the American chestnut is now being appreciated for its many helpful characteristics in cultivated permaculture gardens and its value as a historical tree that anchored entire ecosystems. Americans are embracing the great chestnut like never before. [...]




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These low-cost housing solutions are made from bamboo

The Housing NOW project addresses home insecurity in a variety of affordable, efficient and sustainable ways. Started by Blue Temple, an architecture design studio based in Myanmar, the structures are constructed using bamboo that is locally available and endlessly renewable.[...]




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In Finland, people get prizes for their unwanted textiles

In the quest for a more sustainable future, the Finnish city of Lahti has taken a remarkable step with an innovative pilot program called the Textile Deposit scheme. This incentivized recycling program aims to encourage locals to actively sort and recycle their textile waste instead of sending it to the landfill. [...]




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Find out what it takes to be an ecotourist

Vacations are an integral part of every person’s life. Following long seasons of hard work, it is well deserved to get away from busy schedules and enjoy nature. The tourism industry is fully built around the need for vacations. While tourism is good, it has its dark side. The entire industry thrives on the existence of nature, yet it tends to erode away what is left of natural resources.[...]




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Here are water-saving alternatives to grass for your home

The dream of every gardener is to see endless fields of green grass in their backyard. With determination, most gardeners manage to attain this dream, but at a cost. Within no time, there is a need to mow and control weeds. After mowing, it needs watering to grow again. This cycle continues for as long as the gardener wants to enjoy the beauty of green turf.[...]




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Buzzfeed Tasty clean ceramic cookware is now sold at Walmart

Buzzfeed Tasty food site is filled with easy recipes and videos to whip up an incredible meal. In fact, during the height of the pandemic lockdown, when many people were taking care of plants and baking bread, I followed their guide to making sourdough bread from scratch. Expanding from their brand, Tasty also has cookbooks and cookware, the latest being a 16-piece cookware set sold at Walmart. [...]




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What you can expect in the future of 3D printing?

3D printing, also known as additive manufacturing, has been available for commercial use since 1986. Early on, 3D printing took on a hobbyist role. Now, however, industries have begun using additive manufacturing to their advantage.[...]




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Eat healthy and locally-sourced foods at Sweetgreen

Whoever says fast food is unhealthy for the body and the environment hasn’t been introduced to Sweetgreen, a chain restaurant dedicated to changing how we view food production, consumption and waste. [...]