"The charity that hastens to proclaim its good deeds, ceases to be charity, and is only pride and ostentation."

"You pile up enough tomorrows and you'll be left with nothing but a bunch of empty yesterdays. I don't know about you, but I'd like to make today worth remembering."

[Morley Kert] had a problem. He’s a big fan of the lovely Fortune Chair from Heller Furniture. Only, he didn’t want to pay $1,175 for a real one. The solution? …read more

In a new installment on computer history, [Bradford Morgan White] takes us through the sordid history of Cyrix, as this plucky little company created the best math co-processors (FasMath) and …read more

Once upon a time, computers didn’t really have enough resources to play back high-quality audio. It took too much RAM and too many CPU cycles and it was just altogether …read more

"It is good to be without vices, but it is not good to be without temptations."

"There are many things that we would throw away if we were not afraid that others might pick them up."

"The important thing in science is not so much to obtain new facts as to discover new ways of thinking about them."

Live long enough It’s a good bet  You’re gonna accumulate regret.  With me, youthful mistakes Manifest in the shower Bursting unmasked, clarity’s power.  How was I so stupid?  Yelping with chagrin Aged missteps alive again.  Despite water and suds I cannot wash them away Dunce cap moments here to stay.  Chattering whispers Turns right instead […]

The post Showering Regret appeared first on Waiter Rant.

Young, trim and cute Setting all reason on mute Forever twenty-one I thought she was the one. Yet lost in trauma Oh Mama! Slipped away Through my fingers one day.  Day she was lost My friend crucified on cancer’s cross Wheeled out on gurney entire Consigned to death and fire.  The keening widow Grief bubbling […]

The post The One That Got Away  appeared first on Waiter Rant.

Every tear wiped away, But not in Isreal Not in Gaza. Where’s your Messiah now?  Ukraine’s sunflowers weep, Unable to follow the sun Attrited by Third Rome’s janissaries, Iconostases rubbled By eyes in the sky weeping ruin.  Iron beasts, slain Litter desert, forest,  By isotopic arrows despoiled, Cancerous, ravenous, patient.  Empty hearths.   Children’s questions.  Abba? […]

The post Jerusalem Can Wait  appeared first on Waiter Rant.

Billowing menace, acrid scents  Old growth, saplings charring together  While out of sight, fawns distressed race And the owl’s perch succumbs.  Golden hordes breaching firebreaks  Rapine alight windswept, rapacious, desiccation stoked   Consuming canopies, no quarter given While rooted tributaries blazing course underfoot.  Slight deluges, drawn from placid lakes Lofted by fraught metaled battalions Plunge pityingly […]

The post Wildfires Of No Consequence  appeared first on Waiter Rant.

A chance comment suddenly helped crystalize my thoughts on something I’ve been looking for a way to talk about for at least thirty years. It has to do with the way a book is analyzed after the fact, versus how it is constructed. The comment was on my novel, Dzur, and it discussed how the … Continue reading The Critic and the Writer

To the members of UAW Local 2069: I don’t think you can realize how much of an inspiration you are to how many people. The battle you’re fighting goes far beyond the immediate issues. We’re living in a world where you can’t open your eyes without seeing a cause for despair: the pandemic, first of … Continue reading An Open Letter to Volvo Truck Workers in Dublin, Virginia

(I’ll be adding this to my socialism FAQ, but for now I think it deserves it’s own post.) The logic here is what fascinates—the mechanical formality, starting with rigid definitions and proceeding step by careful step to absurdity. The old scholastics of the middle ages would certainly have approved, but if we don’t want to … Continue reading “We live in a democracy, therefore the government represents us.”

Someone on Twitter said she was stuck on her current project and asked for suggestions for getting unstuck. I started to reply, then realized it would turn into a huge thread.  So, here I am.  Note: as I understand it, stuck on current project is not the same phenomenon as “writer’s block.”   The former … Continue reading When writers get stuck

In the late 60s and early 70s there was an epidemic of “everything I hate is fascism.”  We seem to be back to that again.  But there are differences, and they are important. We warned then, and it is worth repeating now, that we use a narrow and precise definition of fascism because it is … Continue reading On Fascism–Things Are Different Now

The 1872 presidential election (Ulysses Grant vs Horace Greeley) represented the last time progressive change was  brought about through a national election. Since then, progressive change has either been forced by mass action (Women’s suffrage, Welfare, Social Security, Unemployment insurance, Civil Rights, Gay rights, &c) or been a small part of a bill the bulk … Continue reading A Brief Note on the Power and Limits of Propaganda

One thing ive found myself doing lately now that im sorta 'well fuck that twitter shit' is i am rambling on a LOT more when i type stuff. This can be viewed as a good or bad thing. Maybe for me it's not a bad thing. It's a bit like working in a 4 panel comic format. You can do a lot with a four panel setup, almost the first entire chapter of MT is all 4 panel. It has its own kinda pacing, setup, delivery, variables, etc. But there are things i can...

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One Shot Episode comic 1610
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This or any DORK TOWER strip is now available as a signed, high-quality print, from just $25!  CLICK HERE to find out more! HEY! Want to help keep DORK TOWER going  – join the DORK TOWER Patreon and ENLIST IN THE ARMY OF DORKNESS TODAY! (We have COOKIES!) (And SWAG!) (And GRATITUDE!)

This or any DORK TOWER strip is now available as a signed, high-quality print, from just $25!  CLICK HERE to find out more! HEY! Want to help keep DORK TOWER going  – join the DORK TOWER Patreon and ENLIST IN THE ARMY OF DORKNESS TODAY! (We have COOKIES!) (And SWAG!) (And GRATITUDE!)

This or any DORK TOWER strip is now available as a signed, high-quality print, from just $25!  CLICK HERE to find out more! HEY! Want to help keep DORK TOWER going  – join the DORK TOWER Patreon and ENLIST IN THE ARMY OF DORKNESS TODAY! (We have COOKIES!) (And SWAG!) (And GRATITUDE!)

This or any DORK TOWER strip is now available as a signed, high-quality print, from just $25!  CLICK HERE to find out more! HEY! Want to help keep DORK TOWER going? Then consider joining the DORK TOWER Patreon and ENLIST IN THE ARMY OF DORKNESS TODAY! (We have COOKIES!) (And SWAG!) (And GRATITUDE!)

This or any DORK TOWER strip is now available as a signed, high-quality print, from just $25!  CLICK HERE to find out more! HEY! Want to help keep DORK TOWER going? Then consider joining the DORK TOWER Patreon and ENLIST IN THE ARMY OF DORKNESS TODAY! (We have COOKIES!) (And SWAG!) (And GRATITUDE!)

The main storyline returns Monday. In the meantime, here’s an important message for next week: should you be in the US and eligible to vote…VOTE! This strip first ran four years ago, It seems even more relevant now. This or any DORK TOWER strip is now available as a signed, high-quality print, from just $25! […]

This or any DORK TOWER strip is now available as a signed, high-quality print, from just $25!  CLICK HERE to find out more! HEY! Want to help keep DORK TOWER going? Then consider joining the DORK TOWER Patreon and ENLIST IN THE ARMY OF DORKNESS TODAY! (We have COOKIES!) (And SWAG!) (And GRATITUDE!)

This or any DORK TOWER strip is now available as a signed, high-quality print, from just $25!  CLICK HERE to find out more! HEY! Want to help keep DORK TOWER going? Then consider joining the DORK TOWER Patreon and ENLIST IN THE ARMY OF DORKNESS TODAY! (We have COOKIES!) (And SWAG!) (And GRATITUDE!)

Even though my kids are not yet on summer break and even though I, as an adult, do not have a thing called a summer break, I’ve apparently helped myself to one. I’m sneaking off to the beach on weekdays (oops), reading novels, gorging myself on cherries and crisp-from-the-market cucumbers, playing midday tennis like a lady who lunches, and getting vexed when I receive work-related emails and texts. [“Alex, why are they texting me on a Sunday?” “Deb, it’s Tuesday.”]

Read more »

This has been my go-to summer steak for the last several years and I have some audacity to have gatekept it for so long. Mostly, we’ve been too busy eating it for me to grab the camera and shoot it and then sit down and write the recipe, which is hilarious as that’s, like, my whole job. But my brain softens in the summer, especially when my kids are away at sleepaway camp, as they are now, and we quickly lose whatever tethers we had to things like to-do lists, responsibilities, and adulting. And while I do not expect a skirt steak with a cherry tomato and sweet corn salad to shake the cooking internet off its axis, there are a bunch of tips tucked into this recipe that make it a reliable favorite, and I hope become part of your repertoire too.

Read more »

Last summer, when my younger child joined my older child at sleepaway camp for a month for the first time, leaving us unmoored and a little restless, we made a list of restaurants we’d been meaning to try and friends we don’t see enough and took this task on like it was our job. I barely cooked once. By the end of the third week, everything hurt and we realized our template for a child-free life (going out late, cocktails on weeknights, and generally behaving despicably) was based on our age and energy level when we were last child-free, which (I’m sorry as this fact seems to upset you guys as much as it does his actual parents) was almost 15 years ago.

Read more »

If you were to make a multi-part Venn diagram combining my favorite salad things, you could nestle this right in the center. It’s one part wedge salad, the fork and steak knife kind, something I am so into I talked my podcast co-host Kenji (okay, it wasn’t hard) into dedicating a whole episode to it. And it contains cabbage, and not just cabbage but Napa cabbage, which I think deserves more credit as a salad green. [This can be convenient to know as it often comes in heads large enough to feed a small family for a week.] Napa cabbage is a little leafy, a little crunchy, and yet kind of juicy too and I’ve used it, sliced thin, in everything from this Italian-style salad to a classic Caesar.
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It’s humbling that way every September, without fail, knocks me on my rump. One week, you’re breezy and unscheduled, reading books on a beach and tearing lobster apart with your bare hands (indeed, we were in Maine) and the next you’re realizing a certain fetid backpack was never emptied on the last day of school in June, scrambling for after-school care, and despite the fact that I work every week of the year, somehow there’s a lot more to do. If dinner can’t be made in one pan in which everything cooks at once, I haven’t been making it. And yet I’ve made this chicken dish four times in the last month; it’s clearly time to shout about it across the internet.

Read more »

“I was looking for a simple roasted carrot recipe on your site and couldn’t find one,” a friend told me a month ago and I immediately put “simple roasted carrot recipe” on my sprawling, decades-long To Cook list because sometimes I forget myself, too. Spoiler: I was never going to write a simple recipe for roasted carrots.

Read more »

Ever heard of Stanley Stinkbug? 

 Yeah, me neither. 

 Apparently he's a children's character who looks like this:

As far as anthropomorphic bugs go, I guess he's not TOO terrifying. I'd put him somewhere between Heimlich the caterpillar and Hopper the evil grasshopper: Not a bug you'd want to cuddle, exactly, but that probably wouldn't make you run screaming from the room, either. Plus the neckerchief is fun.

Anyhoo, of course - of course - bakers have been asked to make cake versions of Stanley, and of course some of those bakers have done so... poorly.

The good news is today's baker was only asked to do a flat illustration on a cupcake cake (patooie!), which is a running head start, right? No molding or sculpting, just a picture. Heck, they could even print one out!

So what do you think, did they make Stanley's eyes all wonky? Is his scarf the wrong color, is he missing some legs? Oh! I know! I bet... you just want me to just show you the cake, don't you.

 Fine.

 BEHOLD!

Actual footage of my reaction:

Also now this gif is blocking my view of the cake, so... BONUS.

Now, before I nope right out of here, I'd like to point out that the baker CLEARLY thought management wanted an actual stinkbug cake for the display case, but never thought to ask A) WHY DEAR LORD WHY, or B) why it was named Stanley. 

 I mean, c'mon, you get told to draw a random bug named Stanley, tell me you wouldn't add some glasses and a sweater vest. That's just common sense.

Also, is this the sort of bakery where random horrific requests are this common? Was the baker asked to make a "Tiffany Tapeworm" last week, so Mr. Stinkbug was par for the course?

::dares to scroll up briefly to see the cake again::

K, last question: Did the baker think putting the giant semi-realistic stinkbug on a bed of lettuce... was helping??

Aaaaand I'M OUT.

Thank you(?), Emily S. I do not approve.
*****

P.S. After my crack about cuddle-worthy bugs, naturally I had to go see if I could find some. And I gotta say, the ant? ADORABLE:

Plush Bugs
*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

I'm back with more Halloween goodies, spoops and ghouls! 

I didn't have anything too specific in mind for this week's theme, so I ended up with a boo-tiful mix of everything from Gothic Glam:

(Cake Effect Buffalo, New York)

... to bright pastel eye candy.

(Wonderfully Whitty Cakes, California)

I couldn't decide which of Whitney's cakes I liked best, so you get two:

(Wonderfully Whitty Cakes, California)

Ooooh. Those stripes are swoon-worthy.

Have you ever seen a little kid smile with a mouth full of Oreos?
This is kind of like that, only cuter:

(Backfeevi, Germany)

Hee!

I know I usually err on the adorable side of Halloween, so here's something more dark and dramatic: 

(AyşenButikPasta, Turkey)

This could almost be a wedding cake! And that dry-brushed gold detailing? Gorgeous.

Ahh, but now I bet you want to see an actual Halloween wedding cake.

So to quote the coffin lid as it slammed shut,

BAM:

(MakeLuvBlog)

Isn't this stunning? The wrought iron gate trim, the autumn flowers, the chocolate casket toppers! I love the light gray icing, too; less dye AND you can see all the details better.


Veering right back into Cute with this magical lil guy:

(That Baking Girl)

Batty Potter. Ermergersh. 

And of course we need more Pumpkin King and friends in here:

(Lovlie Cakes & Brookies Cookies Co.)

Digging the vintage illustration style on this one: 

(Saucy Bakes, Canada & Arizona)

The bright green and red makes it pop, and then that bottom piped border made me do a double-take; it looks just like real lace! Whaaaaat.

And finally, even more cheery pastels, since I can't get enough this season:

(Cake Happy, Virginia)

Is this not the happiest skull cake you've ever seen?? I guess Mickey ears really do make everything better. :D

I hope these made you a little happier, too, friends. Happy Sunday, and may your Halloween this year be extra extra Sweet.
*****
P.S. Speaking of happy skulls, I don't know who needs to hear this, but there is such a thing as rainbow skull spoons:

Stainless Steel Skull Spoons, set of 6

They also come in black or silver, for the more traditional/boring goths out there. :p

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Sittin' in the morning sun

(oops)

I like wreckin' 'til the evening comes!

 

Stuffin' some flotsam in.

Grab another cake and do it again.

Yeah...

 

I'm thinkin' they'll be dockin' my pay.

I thought that's what they wanted to say!

Oooo -oo -oo -ooo

I'm thinkin' they'll be dockin' my pay...

Meh, looks fine. (Hiiii-iiine.)

 

The cake you want'll bore ya.

Thought I'd go a disco way.

 

I got nothin' against George.

It's just I'm tired of frosting him all day.

So...

I'm thinkin' they'll be dockin' my pay.

No one could read the French, anyway!

Ooh!

Maybe they'll be dockin' my pay...

Nah, it's fine.

 

Thankfully, our faithful Wreckporters -- Laurel G., Anna C., Kate P., Stacey W., Sammi K., Kathryn R., Bath C., Sylvie C., and Teresa P. -- weren't wasting time. Now, I think I'm supposed to end this with harmonic whistling, so here goes...

::whistles badly for 3 seconds::

Nope, hang on, I found a prettier option:

A rainbow whistling tea kettle? YES PLEASE.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Happy Halloween, minions! Let’s go out with a bang, shall we? :D

Bakeries get a lot of leeway this time of year, since Halloween is supposed to have ugly gross stuff:

 

But there's raspberry jam soaked zombie faces, and then there's... uh... this:

Took me a solid minute to figure it out:

A banana shooting laser beams.

(I am SO GOOD AT THIS, you guys.)

 

Yep, bakers are once again trying to collectively punk the world, churning out ridiculous Halloween designs each more baffling than the last:

Aliens? Amoebas?
This guy?

 

I actually see this design a lot:

The angry toilet paper has sprouted arms, and is pulling itself to freedom.

 

While this roll vows revenge on airbrushes everywhere:

"I am not 'pretty,' I AM THE TERRIFYING TP! Here to WIPE you out! Mwuah-ha-haaawhy are you laughing?"

 

Next we have an ice cream swirl wearing a traffic cone about to be impaled by a trident.
Because if THAT doesn't say "Happy Halloween"... then don't worry 'cuz the board does:

 

For some reason ghost sperm are always a big seller this time of year:

They look kinda confused, though, right?
Like they can't tell if they're coming or going.

[HEYO.]

 

Also confused? Me, after looking at this thing:

They managed to get icing absolutely everywhere except on top of the cupcakes.
Now that's scary.

 

And finally, a possessed stove burner:

Because haunted appliances are SO hot right now.

("It burns. IT BURRRRNS!")

 Have fun tonight, gang! Remember, this is the one night of the year when it’s OK to have candy for dinner, so take FULL advantage.

There's a ghost of a chance Brittany D., Carrie, Ginny V., Karen S., Megan S., Karrie T., Jennifer K., Jennifer R., & Shannon T. will be ordering out tonight. You're welcome, ladies!

******

P.S. Today's TP ghost cakes led me to the best home accessory ever:

THIS, my friends, is a "Talking Toilet Paper Spindle." You record your own message, which it will play back when your guests spin the roll. [rubbing hands together evilly] I can't wait to use this baby at our next Christmas party.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Ann ordered a beach theme cake, and asked the baker to write "Happy Birthday Lorenzo" on the ocean part.

She got this:

...which has to be the first time a literal LOL actually pales in comparison to the butchered name of the birthday boy.

Seriously, how do you turn "Lorenzo" into "Boricua"?? That's only two correct letters! Out of seven! Why... what... HOW....? [head explodes]

Ahem.

 

When a house warming party turns ominous:

[whisper] "Geeeeet OOOOUUUUUTTT!"

 

Deb wants to know if she's the only one who sees a Pumpkin man wearing a fig leaf on this cake:

Dear Deb,

NOPE.

Signed,
Everyone.

 

This next one is a Sports Ball thing, so allow me to translate for my fellow sports neophytes: Apparently the Royals (a Sports Ball "team") are sometimes known as the "Boys in Blue."

But after today, that's not ALL they'll be known as:

HEYOOOOOOOOO

 

"VICTORIAN LACE"

Bakers, I do not think it means what you think it means.

 

And finally,

Ordering a company logo on a cake can be daunting, but luckily for Will R., the Michael Kors logo is literally just the letters MK.

And yet...

Where there's a Will, there's a way to wreck Will's manager's cake.

 

Thanks to Ann F., Brady T., Deb B., Sarah F., Terri C., & Will R. for giving his manager the perfect excuse to throw up his/her hands in disgust and cry, "I'M SURROUNDED BY LITTLE MK'S!"

*****

'Tis the season for PSLs, and now your furry friend can have one, too!

Starbarks Pumpkin Spice Latte Plush Toy

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Confession Time: as much as I love all the Sweets I feature, it's the kids' cakes that thrill me the most.

From classic childhood characters:

(By Alana Lily Chocolates & Cakes)

 

...to more modern favorites:

(By Sugar Top Cakes)

 

...to squee-inducing cuteness I just want to snuggle:

(By Bake-A-Boo)

MUST. RESIST. SNUGGLE URGE!

 

Then there are colorful, guitar-rockin' monsters:

(By Phoenix Cake Company)

 

Dapper little owls:

(By Eunice Cake Designs)

 

...and the sweetest bees you ever did see:

(By Frosted Indulgence)

Just looking at this makes me happy. :)

 

When I was very young my parents let me buy a Little Twin Stars stationary set from Epcot, and even though I had no idea who they were, I've loved the pastel pair ever since.

And this is the best Little Twin Stars cake I've ever seen:

(By The Bunny Baker)

Kids' cakes, schmids' cakes. I'll take this one for my next birthday, thx.

 

Or how about this drop dead gorgeous Tangled tower?

(By Sabz Cakes)

 

Oooh! Or this little yellow submarine?

(By Über Angel Cakes)

Complete with a cutie-patootie pink seahorse!

 

And finally, since you all know I have a soft spot for adorable robots:

(By Isabella's Sweet Tooth)

D'awwww.

Yep, this grown-up just wants kids' cakes from now on, guys. And I bet I'm not the only one, right?

 

Happy Sunday!

*****

And now that I’ve got Gonzo on the brain, OH MY GOSH LOOK HOW COOL!!!

The Great Gonzo Christmas Ornament

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

It's National Common Sense Day, minions, but how "common" is it, really? 

 Hmmm?

When your faith in reading comprehension is also (crooked) and (going down).

  Candice asked them to write Skye with an E.

Such a shame the baker didn't have enough room to write out "birthday."

OH WAIT

Kim wanted "2018 Angels" in the center.

Then Lisa asked for a picture of a 20 sided die:

There's something extra special about writing the word "picture" here, don't you think?

And finally, Sharla just wanted her name on the cake.

Oh, the pain.


Thank to Rob M., Candice B., Kim T., Lisa P., & Sharla, for those... fascinating... finds.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

I know we've all been tempted sometimes, minions, but these people actually did it.

UP TOP!

ON THE TRAY!

IN THE FLAY!

Er, flag. She meant flag. But I guess this works.

And extra credit to the teacher who did NOT tell her baker where to stick it, but instead handed over a notepad with all her kids' names on it, so the baker could just copy them on to the cake.

Sadly, the baker stuck it anyway:

Right where the sun won't shine!

(You know, because they're inside.)

Thanks to Annie, Trinity L., Kaye P., & Molly H. for teaching us all a lesson on following directions.

Also teachers, if you're looking for a new notepad, I'm really liking these:

Everything Is Fine Notepads

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

I don't have a specific theme for you today, unless maybe "cakes that made Jen squee like a little girl" is a theme.

Oh, it is?

EXCELLENT.

(By Scrum Diddly)

Whoah. That bottom layer is done in a "billow weave," and this is one of the best examples I've seen. (Here's a tutorial, if you want to learn.) Also love the off-center flowers & color choices; just a gorgeous composition over all.

Speaking of composition, how great is this cheery asymmetrical number?

(By Bellaria Cakes Design)

Such a simple change, but stacking the tiers like this makes an otherwise traditional design so much more fresh and modern!

Now, just so you know, I'm a sucker for balloons. And bright pastels. And pink bicycles with little gift-wrapped presents on them.

(By My Cake School, click for tutorial)

Squeee!

This is another one with a tutorial, so if you can pipe with royal icing candy melts, I bet you can make this yourself! You know, perhaps as a gift. For your favorite cake blogger. [winkwinknudgenudge]

One thing I love about Sweets is that I'm always learning new techniques. That said, I have no idea how this heart was made:

(By Magical Edible Art by Nadia)

That intricate geometric pattern taunts me, you guys. I MUST KNOW ITS SECRETS. Someone explain in the comments, please!

If you look closely at this next one, you'll see little creases that almost look like sheer fabric wrapped around the tiers:

(By For The Love Of Cake)

Such a great texture! And don't get me started on that incredible floral swag. So delicate. So perfect.

I am all abuzz for these sweet bee cookies:

(By Sweet Art Sweets)

SO CUTE. And here's a first: you can actually purchase them on Etsy!

Take an unexpected color combo, throw in some soft petal ruffles, top it off with STUNNING hibiscus flowers, and you get magic:

(By Cake Central member micialuna)

Perfection.

Will I ever get tired of tiny bunting & delicate floral swags?

(By Sarah Edwards Cakes, featured on Marry Me Ink.)

NUH-UH.

And I'll never get enough of sweet vintage-inspired designs like this, either:

(By Mina Bakalova)

Mint green and pink paired with wood planks and a skeleton key? Who would dream up a combo like that?

I'll tell you: a GENIUS, that's who.

And finally, the cake that launched a thousand Jen squeals:

(By Corrie Cakes)

The colors! The teeny flowers & butterflies! THE HAND-PAINTED FAWN!!

I never thought I'd advocate hanging cake photographs as art, but this should be a wall-sized mural somewhere. It's just so... happy.

Hope today's post made your Sunday a little sweeter, everyone! Happy weekend!

It may not be rain on your wedding day, but these cakes are still a little too ironic.

[grabbing microphone]

HIT IT!

 

It's like loving journalism

... but not kerning!

It's a "good job"

that needs some learning.

It's the winner's cake

that SHOULD be burning!

And who would have thought? It figures!

It's calling someone "dumb"

When you can't spell the word

It's trying to show you care

While giving a beautiful turd

Heh.

And isn't it ironic, don't you think?

Thanks to Tracey, Julie, Dorothy S., Tony W., & Stacey, who really DO think.

 *****

Hang on, you know what ELSE has delicious irony? A fully armed and operational battle station with an exposed exhaust port.

Death Star Waffle Iron

Thanks to this waffle iron, you can recreate the Death Star's catastrophic destruction every morning with butter and syrup. Nomz. Just remember: Use the forks.

Technically Veterans Day was yesterday here in the U.S., but since a lot of us get today off to celebrate, CELEBRATE WE SHALL.

Veterans Day is all about honoring those who have and are serving in our country's military. There are lots of great ways to do this:

This is not one of them.

Now, I happen to know that a fair number of military personnel read this blog - a fact I find both humbling and just a teensy bit alarming, since I'm not sure those who share my twisted sense of humor should have access to heavy artillery. (Holy Hand Grenade, anyone?) 

On the other hand, I do so enjoy all the e-mails with the giant "DECLASSIFIED" stamps on them.  Makes me feel all James Bond-ish, only in an American, hermit-girl-blogger kind of way.

So in your honor, my dear veterans, here are some patriotic cake designs that will surely bring a tear to your eyes.

 Tissue?

The underline is what really sells it.

Of course today is about you, the troops:

And as "Owl Troops" you deserve "Supott."

Because you are all "Hero's."

 And so we "honer" you, our "vetr ans."

Kind of like how we honor the flag, the symbol of this great nation:

Stirring.

No wait, I take that back: this Wreck leaves me shaken, not stirred. [ba dum bump!]

Some bakeries pipe their greetings on clear plastic sheets, which they then lay on top of the finished cakes. It's cheating, sure, but this way bakers can trace their messages or start over if they make a mistake.

Or just slap the plastic on anyway and call it a "Vetrans" day.

So remember, everyone: it is thanks to our veterans that we have the freedom to live in this great country, the United States...

 ...of Amercia?

Hang on, that doesn't sound right. Can we try that one again?

Muuuch better. 

(But who stole the corner piece?!)

Thanks to Eric H., Dave K., Sara B., Nikki G., Adria P., Tory L., Michael H., Christina R., Tara L., & Allyson H. for fully vetting today's wrecks.

This guest review comes from Lisa! A longtime romance aficionado and frequent commenter to SBTB, Lisa is a queer Latine critic with a sharp tongue and lots of opinions. She frequently reviews at All About Romance and Women Write About Comics, where she’s on staff, and you can catch her at @thatbouviergirl on Twitter. There, she shares good reviews, bracing industry opinions and thoughtful commentary when she’s not on her grind looking for the next good freelance … Continue reading If I Stopped Haunting You by Colby Wilkens →

If you’ve noticed CloudFlare verifying that you’re human, that’s because I had to enable extra security because of a DDOS attack. I also woke up to 1500+ spam email messages sent through contact forms on the site, too. The poor server is having A Time of it. At least it’s not Tuesday, I guess? Then I’d have all those dildos to contend with. (Also: every time I see that cover, my brain wants to read … Continue reading Just a Little DDOS Fun, Dildos, and Finding the Mystery Cowboy →

In this week’s podcast episode, we’re looking at the glorious  ads and features for the October/November 1988 issue of RT Magazine. Thank you to Amy M. for this issue! You can also find all the RTRW content at our category page for Romantic Times Rewind.  If you want to listen and follow along with this entry, we have more detail in the audio, but you can click play and listen and read and absorb all … Continue reading Romantic Times Rewind: October 1988 Ads & Features →

It’s time for the Ads & Features of the October 1988 (!!) issue of Romantic Times Magazine. Y’all. We’ve got: Vintage gossip! Blind items that are very easy to guess! Danielle Steel’s two blue Mercedes! Fuchsia covers with giant flowers and startled animals! Riverboat gambler romance heroes! And a truly paltry obituary for an extraordinary author. It’s 1988. Fuchsia. So much fuchsia. Blanket content warning for romances written in the late 80s. Be ready for … Continue reading 637. RT Rewind October 1988 Ads & Features →