Dear Diana,
My wife often falls prey to idle gossip. She then gets worked up and questions me. I find this irritating. Last week, one of my distant relatives was in town. He told her that I was friendly with this girl during my college days and how she used to often drop in at home. As soon as I was back from work that day, she threw a fuss. She felt I had hidden this aspect of mine from her. She wanted me to confess if I was in touch with her. I was angry and told her to not believe such nonsense. Then again someone told her that they had seen me in Bandra with some people. Her mind got working again overtime. She felt I was hanging out and having fun while she was sitting alone at home. I have told her not to believe in idle talk, but she refuses to pay any heed. How do I knock sense into her head?
— Lokesh

Dear Lokesh,
Your wife is not only suspicious, but has a problem on hand. She seems to be suffering from a personality disorder. She needs help. You need to seek a counsellor. At the same time, you need to tell the people around to stop feeding her with constant information about you. They may be saying things for a lark without any meaning. But she gives their talk a whole new meaning which is agonising you. Talking about your college days friendship with a girl is of no consequence now. Your relative may have said it by way of casual talk, but your wife sees red. You need to calm her down and tell her not to react to everything see sees, hears or overhears. She also needs to be gainfully employed or pursue a hobby. As they say an empty mind is a devil's workshop and your wife is a classic case of it.

Dear Diana,
My guy is obsessed with his bike. He cares more for it than me. When I started going out with him seven months ago, I use to enjoy the fun rides. We used to take off for long drives. It was a case of me, him and his bike. But over time, I got bored of the rides, especially after his bike broke down once in the middle of the night. We had to face some harrowing times till it was fixed. After this incident, I had told him I no longer wanted to go on those long bike rides. He then stopped asking me out and would go for a spin with his group of biker buddies. Initially, I was indifferent, but now it is getting to me. He has been spending more and more time with his pals than with me. We have been squabbling a lot over this, but he says that nothing can come in the way of his bike and him. He says he gives me time also so there is no reason to complain. I know he is hurt after the comments I passed about him and his bike. His behaviour towards me changed. What do I do now? Tell him to choose between me and his bike?
– Prachi

Dear Prachi,
It is clear that your boyfriend is hurt. It is a guy thing and he feels you will not understand his obsession for bikes. If you feel you went overboard in your resentment for his love for his bike, why don't you apologise? Or talk things out and settle the issue in an amicable way. This will also enable him to strike a balance between you, his bike and his buddies. Also, you were well aware of his love for bikes since the time you two got together, so there is no point cribbing now. Learn to live with it.

Dear Diana,
I was with this girl for almost two years. I thought she was serious about me. I used to splurge on her and did whatever she fancied. Last week, however, she sprung a surprise. She told me her family had fixed her marriage. As the guy was based in the Gulf, she would soon be relocating after marriage. She told me that a small engagement ceremony had taken place at home. The marriage has been fixed for June. I was taken aback. All this while, she did not even once tell me that her parents were finding a match for her. We were planning a future together till last week and then she drops a bombshell that she is getting married to someone else. I am shattered. She has left me heartbroken. Now she refuses to meet me or answer my calls. What do I do? How could she just dump me like this? I am angry as well as sad. It is not that her family did not know about my existence. What should I do? She was my first love.
— Deep'

Dear Deep,
This girl just played with your feelings. You are a fool to have fallen in her trap. She knew from the beginning that she would not marry you. She considered you as time pass. You splurged on her and did whatever she fancied. This suited her fine. You seemed to have been her stop-gap arrangement till her parents found her a suitable match. Now that she has found someone, she has dumped you. You may be nursing a broken heart, but at the same time remember, there is no point moaning for her loss. This girl did not care for you or your feelings. She never loved you. So get going with your life. You have learnt your lesson. Next time be wary. When you feel down in the dumps, remember she did not reciprocate your feelings, so why even think about her? Move on as you deserve someone better.

Dear Diana,
I find myself in an unusual predicament. My best friend and I have fallen for the same girl. We met her at a birthday party of a common friend. He introduced us to her. We both got along well with her and kept in touch. But somewhere down the line, I got serious about her. My pal then started behaving odd with me. He said he was in love with her and had already expressed his feelings for her. All this has led to a dent in our friendship of over 10 years. Now we are both wooing her and we are waiting to know who she will finally choose. Each one of us has asked the girl who she likes. But she says she needs time to make up her mind. What do I do? I can't see myself away from her. I am hoping that she chooses me. At the same time, I am puzzled that even though she knows we both have the hots for her, she is playing along with both of us. Is she serious about us?
— Vishesh

Dear Vishesh
You can live on hope and love, but chances are this girl is going to dump you both. She is well aware that you two are interested in her, so she is playing along. She is enjoying the attention she is getting from you two guys. At the end, the girl will go with someone else. Her answer that she needs time to think is a clear giveaway. This woman is not interested in either of you. Get the hint and get going with your life. It is strange that even though she is well aware of the affections of both you guys, she is playing along. You cannot trust this woman. You need to tell your pal also not to be blinded in love and see the real picture.

Dear Diana,
My boyfriend is moving from Mumbai to Dubai for better job prospects. He is in the hospitality sector and has bagged a good offer. He moves next month, but I have already started suffering from separation pangs. I have my doubts for how long our relationship will last as distance is sure to take a toll. I have already expressed my reservations about it to him, but he says distance will not affect our relationship. He says that we will still see each as other as often as we can, but I know we can't afford to travel so often between Mumbai and Dubai every now and then. I work in a PR company, so work is hectic for me as well. I am sure that we will drift apart as soon as he takes off. I believe in the dictum: Out of sight, out of mind. What do I do? Should I tell him that it is better that we go our way before he leaves?
— Shailaja

Dear Shailaja,
He has not yet moved, but you have already started reacting. First, let him take up the job and see how things work out. At the moment you are overreacting. Give him a chance to settle down in his new job. If you can't meet often, you can talk to each other over the phone, Skype, WhatsApp or chat online. There are many couples who are in a long-distance relationship out there, so it is not that it is something you cannot handle. You two just need to show that you are there for each other. As long as you are on the same page, the geographical distance does not matter. So stop getting anxious for now and give the relationship a chance before severing ties with him.

Dear Diana,
I have been with this guy for over a year. We met during my cousin's wedding. She had a big fat destination wedding in Goa. The guy is a close buddy of the groom. We got along well ever since we were introduced at the wedding. Back in Mumbai, we kept in touch. We then began hanging out together. My cousin and her hubby felt we were a good match. Things were going fine, till about two months ago. I now find his behaviour irritating. When we used to hang out with my cousin and her hubby, things were fine. Later, he felt we should not accompany the newly-married couple. This is when the problem arose. I got to see a side of him which I had not seen earlier. He began to be demanding, would talk loudly and proved to be suspicious in nature. It is as if he is a different person now. I do not want to be with him, but I do not know how to tell my cousin's hubby as he is his best pal. What do I do?
— Mala

Dear Mala,
Initially, due to the presence of your cousin and her hubby, you thought he was perfect for you. But when you started going out alone with him, things were far from perfect. The things you liked about him, now get on your nerves. You were perhaps drawn to him because of your cousin and her hubby. They felt you were a perfect match for him. If you are thinking about leaving him, there is no need to fear your cousin's hubby. You need to have a talk with your cousin first. You need to tell her exactly how you feel and how things have changed for you. If not, address the problems with your guy and ask if he can change. If not then you need to take a decision.

Dear Diana,
I had an affair with this girl at my previous workplace. It lasted for about six months. I was married and so was she, so we knew we were playing with fire. We knew it would take us no where and only cause havoc in our respective families. She would often suffer from guilt pangs. Whenever she reminded me about my wife and kids, I would get angry at her. I felt she was the best woman I ever met. She gave me a sense of peace. She was patient and caring. She wanted nothing. I had never felt like this before even though I had my share of relationships. The affair is long over, but I can't get her out of my head. I long for her touch. What should I do? It has been so many years and we have not been in touch, but I cannot forget her. Often, I feel like meeting her, but then I feel I should not. I also wonder if she remembers me and still cares for me.
— Dharam

Dear Dharam,
You found someone special and this woman seems to have filled your life with happiness. She is still stuck in your memory because you have allowed yourself to be in that position. You two were indulging in an extra-marital affair, so sooner or later, you would have been caught causing an upheaval in your life. You have not been in touch with her, but you are still pining for her. The time you spent with her must have been memorable which you do not want to let go, but there is no point trying to get in touch with her again. She used to keep reminding you of the guilt pangs, so let her be. Why do you want to mess up your marital life? Let her remain happy wherever she is. Meanwhile, you should get going with your life as she has and keep all thoughts about her at bay.

Dear Diana,
I am 29 and have been hanging out with this girl for about two years. Last week, while we were out, she told me that she was no longer in love with me. She said she always considered me as a good friend. I thought she was in those moods when she would say random things and the next morning things would be back to normal. So, I did not react. But the next day, she refused to answer my calls. I kept calling her and sending her text messages, but she did not respond. I had no clue what was going on in her mind. I then spoke to a common friend about what had happened. She sent a message through the common friend saying that she had called it quits. She said she had really meant what she had said. I want to know what made her take such a drastic step. If only she would tell me exactly what was going on, but she refuses to pay heed. Why can't she tell me the truth?
— Ajinkya

Dear Ajinkya,
Your girl is certainly behaving strange. You are concerned because she has not told you what made her take such a decision. There were no tell-tale signs either. She just needed an excuse to go her way. This girl is clearly not interested in you. If she cared for you, she would not have behaved in such a manner. After being with you all these years, she owes you an explanation. By resorting to such behaviour, she is making things even more difficult for you. She has hurt you and left you heartbroken. At the same time, stop calling her and sending text messages. Let her be for now and move on. She may have found someone else or there could be some other reason. But if she is not telling you, why even care for her? Get going your way.

Dear Diana,
I met this girl last month at a party. She was introduced to me through a common friend. We exchanged numbers, but I did not give much thought to it. She was just one among the several people I met at the bash. In fact, I forgot about her. A week after the bash, I get a SMS from her. She then sent me some snapshots of the party on WhatsApp. As they were group photos, I could not even recall who she was. She then sent me a solo snapshot of herself. That night, we were all high and I could not even recall who I met at the event. So, I just told her that I remembered her and that we had a great time at the party. Ever since, this girl has been hounding me with calls and messages. She is keen to meet me for some business deal. I know this is just an excuse to get to know me better. I am not the least interested in her. How do I tell her to stop calling and texting me? I often do not reply or tell her I am busy and will catch up with her at a later date, but she just does not give up.
— Avinesh

Dear Avinesh,
She has been bombarding you with calls for some business deal. May be that is the reason, but you feel she is interested in you. One way to get her off your back is to ask her what the deal is about. If it is a genuine business proposition, she will tell you. If not, then you know what is on her mind. By avoiding her calls and telling her that you will meet at a later date, you are sending mixed signals. Just tell her clearly that you are not interested, if you think she is pursuing you. You are not being forthright with her so she is unsure what is on your mind. Tell her the truth. You have no feelings for her nor care for her — so what is stopping you from clearly expressing what is on your mind?

Dear Diana,
I have been with this girl for over a year. Things are going fine between us, but I now feel she is not someone I would like to spend the rest of my life with. This could be because I am attracted to someone else. Three months ago, I met this girl at a party who was introduced through a common friend. I have been hanging out with her as well. I feel she is the one for me. She is of a cheerful disposition and always smiling unlike my girlfriend who always finds faults in everything I do. I have been growing fond of this new girl on my scene. The problem is I do not know how to tell my girlfriend I am not interested in her. I want to move on, but at the same time do not want to upset her. At the same time, with each passing day, I am growing more and more fond of this new girl. How do I solve this dilemma? I want to be with the new girl, but do not want to hurt my girlfriend.
— Raman

Dear Raman,
If you want to move on, you need to tell her clearly. You are not taking a stand as you do not want to offend her. You feel she will be upset. If you do not care for her, why are you so concerned about her? Also, if you care for her still, then why are you dumping her? So, first make up your mind and then act accordingly. You will have to choose between the two girls. The faster you make the decision, the better for you and for her. You feel this new girl is more your kind within such a short duration. So you also need to sit down and ponder before you take a decision.

Dear Diana,
After being with my guy for two years, he cheated on me with my best friend. They had an affair behind my back. Often, she used to hang out with us, but I did not think that she would steal my guy from me. As soon as I got a whiff of their affair, I stopped talking to her though she did reach out to me, but I never gave in. My guy was a closed chapter of my life. Now, a common friend tells me that my ex guy has cheated on my friend too. I detest her for ruining my love life and leaving me with a broken heart, but at the same time, I feel bad as I have been in a similar situation. I know what she must be undergoing. What should I do? She has been messaging me and telling me what has happened. But I am not paying any heed. Should I mend fences with her?
— Simone

Dear Simone,
Now that both of you are sailing in the same boat, you can share your grief too. If you can forgive and forget, you can reach out to your pal. She is nursing a broken heart while you may have recovered and moved on. If you sympathise with your pal, then you should rekindle the friendship. Are you willing to let bygones be bygones? You need to realise that it was because of a useless guy that things got messed up between you and her. Now that he is no longer on her scene, you should get your pal back besides moving on with your respective lives. Let this guy remain in the distant past.

Dear Diana,
My 21-year-old daughter had been behaving odd for the last few months. I was observing her as she would always be glued to the phone. Needless to say, I was worried for her. I am a widower and she is my only child. Whenever she would talk on the phone, she would walk away from me. She then started coming home late at night every other day. When I would ask her, she would be evasive. To my shock, last week I spotted her with a guy in a park near our house. I hated him at first sight. He looked like a nerd and someone just not suitable for my daughter. I wanted to accost her, but on second thoughts stopped myself. When she came home, I did not tell her anything. Should I tell her? I do not know how she will react? She is the apple of my eye and I do not want to hurt her.
— Vrajesh

Dear Vrajesh
You are wondering how your daughter will react when you tell her that you saw her with a guy in the park. You think it will affect her. But you are assuming too much and chances are that you are reading too much into it. If she is friendly with this guy, you need to talk to her. You need to sit down and calmly tell her that you saw her. Do not be hostile as it will then make your daughter withdraw more in her shell. The fact that she was in a park nearby to your home could be that she has nothing to hide. Sit down and have a chat. I am sure it will put you at ease as well as your concerns for her.

Dear Diana,
My SSC exams just got over and I know for a fact that I am going to fail. The feeling scares me to a point where I can’t sleep or eat. I don’t want to interact with friends or my family. I am scared of letting them down, especially my mother. My parents are pretty strict and I don’t know how they will react if I fail. I tried very hard to learn everything, but when I was about to write my exam, I realised that I couldn’t remember anything. I was completely blank. No one has failed in my family. Please help. I am scared.
— Rohan

Illustraion/ Uday Mohite

Dear Rohan
It’s natural that you are feeling scared of telling your parents that you might flunk in your exams, but instead of being anxious all day, it’s best that you sit them down and tell them exactly what your problems are. Even if they shout at you at that moment, eventually they will understand what you are going through. In fact, who knows, they might be able to help the situation. You mentioned that you tried studying but couldn’t memorise, so may be your parents could help you improvise on the way you learn. Remember, that life is a long journey and these numbers in your exams do not dictate how successful you are going to become in the future. They are mere marks. It also seems that you are scared that your relatives might not think highly of you when they get to know that you have failed but at the end of the day, you have to live your life and are the best judge of your capabilities. Believe in yourself.

Dear Diana,
Last week, when I was at my friend’s home, a couple of drinks down, I got carried away. I was at his place for dinner. My pal got a call from his office for some work. One of his office staff members then dropped in with a bunch of documents. He got busy and was at his laptop. His office help and he were going through the papers. My pal’s wife and I then moved to the balcony with our drinks. Their bedroom has an entrance from the balcony. I was quite drunk, but in my senses. As it was windy on the balcony, his wife said we could sit in the bedroom. A few more drinks down and we got carried away. I kissed her, but she did not move away. Nor did she stop me. It was as if she wanted me to make the first move and get physical with me. A few minutes later, we walked back to the living room where her hubby and his office guy were still busy with work. She behaved as if nothing had happened. I, too, kept quiet. Now, I can’t get over her. I crave for her touch even though I am also married.
– Arindam

Illustration/ Uday Mohite

Dear Arindam,
You are playing with fire and you know the consequences. She is your buddy’s wife so you will lose not only a dear pal, but also destroy your marital life. She may have had her reasons to let you on, but when it comes to revealing the truth, she might just put you in the dock. She will then blame you and say that you outraged her modesty. Your friend will then take her word and will not believe what you say. It is better that you get this woman out of your mind. Avoid interacting with her too much. Her hubby is your pal, not she. If she is keeping quiet about it, then let it remain between you two. At the same time, never ever again get yourself in such a situation.

Dear Diana,
A few days ago, I was at a ice lolly stall in my neighbourhood. It was late afternoon and the heat had got to me. I ordered for a lime lolly. As I waited for my order, I saw this girl at the cart. In a second, I felt attracted to her. I kept looking at her. Realising it, she felt conscious and moved away. She was with her friends and we kept looking at each other. When they left, I tailed them till they entered a housing complex in the vicinity. Ever since, I have been going to the ice lolly cart every other day hoping to see her again. This girl haunts me. How do I know who she is? I think she is the girl for me. I have been visiting the ice lolly and juice centre at different timings, but to no avail. How do I know where exactly she lives? Thanks to my frequent trips to the centre, the attendants have realised what is on my mind. One of the extra friendly guys at the cart tells me she does visit regularly, but our paths have not crossed.
— Vickrant

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Vickrant,
You may feel it is love at first sight, but you don't know who she is. Nor are you aware what is on her mind. Just because your eyes met does not mean anything. Like you, she must have been parched and looking for a quencher. By landing at the ice lolly and juice centre all the time, you sure are giving good business to them. Instead of planning a future with the girl, try to find out who she is. If you feel she is a regular at the outlet, you can find out from the attendant, who you have befriended, around what time she usually frequents the place. But do not stalk her or you will get into trouble. The next time you see her, smile and then, may be, start a conversation.

Dear Diana,
I had gone with my office colleagues to Khandala over the weekend. It was the 50th birthday of our boss, so he had booked a resort for the office staff. He runs a trading company and the staff strength is 14. Out of which five guys, including me, and six girls went for the celebration. After an evening of merrymaking we all headed to our rooms. As I was unable to sleep, I sat in the garden for a while. One of my female colleagues, too, stepped out as she was unable to sleep. We got talking and on the spur of the moment I kissed her. She did not stop me. As it was dark in the garden and no one was around, we got intimate and then went to our respective rooms. Back in Mumbai, I was engulfed in guilt. I am married and have a young daughter. This female colleague is single. She pretends as if nothing happened, so I also did not broach the subject again. Should I tell my wife what happened in Khandala? I do not know how she will react.
— Palash

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Palash,
You got carried away in the heat of the moment and are now regretting it. You can say it was one weak moment. Now you are regretting and thinking about your wife. But before telling your wife about your one-night stand, think how well your wife can handle the situation? If not, it is better to keep quiet, but at the same time you must not fall prey to temptation and let yourself go. Whatever happened in Khandala, is better left there. Your female colleague is also tightlipped, so it is better you keep mum. And hopefully she will remain quiet. It is better to be safe, than sorry. So next time do not fall prey to temptation.

Dear Diana,
I've been in a relationship with a girl in my neighbourhood for the past few years. We hang out together and we are considered to be a couple. We have been together since our school days. Recently, I met another girl who has moved to our housing complex. I feel attracted to her even though I do not know her. She is extremely pretty. I keep fantasising about her. I do not understand why I have developed feelings for this other girl who I do not know. Some of my neighbours have befriended her and say that she is a sweet, caring girl. I want to strike a friendship with her, but at the same time do not want to hurt my girlfriend. What is worse is that we stay in the same neighbourhood so — sooner or later — my girlfriend is going to find out.
— Neeraj

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Neeraj,
You don't even know this new girl in the neighbourhood, but have fallen head over heels for her. As she is attractive, you might be infatuated by her. At the same time, you do not know if there is someone on her scene. You seem to be getting carried away by her looks. When you speak to her, you will have a different viewpoint of her. Your girlfriend will throw a fit when she finds out that you have developed feelings for someone else. Don't let this other woman ruin what you have with your girlfriend of so many years. Also, your mind is muddled. Sit down and think in what direction you are heading. First, get to know this new girl and then decide whether she is the girl of your dreams.

Dear Diana,
I was in a relationship with a girl for four years before we parted ways three years ago. Our break up was quite bitter and obviously we never tried contacting each other after that. Last week, I bumped into her at a shopping mall. I was with my girlfriend and she was with a guy too, but I don’t know if he was her boyfriend. We were in the same store and happened to cross paths. We smiled at each other, but didn’t talk. Now, just seeing her brought back so many memories. I have never had the same emotional connection I had with her and I can’t stop thinking about her. I don’t know if it’s love or just nostalgia, but I can’t get her out of my head. I have been having constant fights with my current girlfriend because she can sense that something is amiss. Please help.
— Abhinav

Illustrastion/Uday Mohite

Dear Abhinav,
Bumping into an ex can get very awkward, but the fact that you can’t stop thinking about her even after just seeing her means that you still have feelings for her. If you were in love with your current girlfriend, meeting your ex flame would have meant nothing to you. So, I feel you should first understand that yourself. Then, talk to your present girlfriend about your feelings because you do owe an explanation to her. Even if both of you decide to take a break or call it off, it will only be for the better. Now, as far as your ex-girlfriend is concerned, try and figure out if she also has feelings for you. There is no point going after her if she is not on the same page as you. Best of luck!

Dear Diana,
I have been with this girl for over three years now. Things are going fine, except the fact that her sister influences her a lot. She is older to my girlfriend and ever since their mother passed away when they were young, her elder sister has been a mother figure to her. I detest her sister as she keeps telling her stuff about me. According to my girlfriend, she is cautioning her, but I feel this is interference. Last week, she told her that she had seen me with a girl on the seafront. This was wrong information as I was out with some relatives who had come down from Ranchi and were keen to visit the beach. Whatever her sister tells her, she blindly believes. How do I tell her not to believe every word she tells her? My girlfriend is 24, but can't think for herself.
— Jason

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Jason,
Your girlfriend considers her elder sister as a mother figure. As her mom passed away when she was young, her sister has taken care of her. At the same time, now that she is 24, it is time she had a mind of her own. Her sister is being extra protective of her and that is understandable. If you are serious about her and are planning a future together, you need to sit down and talk to both of them. Tell them exactly how you feel. It is better to be honest and forthright. Perhaps your girl is not even realising how she is allowing herself to be influenced by her elder sister. She feels this is the done thing. At the same time, do not antagonise the sister or things might work against you and ruin your love life.

Dear Diana,
My friend and I have the hots for the same girl. I did not know earlier that he was also interested in her. He would keep showering her with praises, but I used to think it was because she was my girl. My pal is now proving to be an obstacle in my love life. He has been telling common friends that he introduced me to her and that I stole her from him. This is a lie as he barely knew her when he introduced her to me. In fact, he used to tell me that she was not his type of girl. The problem is that I don't know how to tell him. The girl is aware that he likes her, but she tells me that she cares for me. I don't even like the idea of him talking to her now. At the same time, my girl refuses to stop talking to him. I have told her to stop communicating with him, but she is in no mood to listen.
— Mohit

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Mohit,
First of all your girl is loving the attention you are showering on him as well as your buddy. Why is she encouraging him if she is not interested in him? She is to blame for your state of affairs. You could not muster enough courage to tell him that you liked the girl, so he went ahead showering his affections on her. So you can't blame your buddy. If the girl is interested in you, she would not be extra friendly with this guy too. You need to talk things out with your girl and tell her how you feel. If she does not make amends, then you need to do a rethink. Your girl will then have to choose between you and your friend. If she does not, it is time to get over this girl.

Dear Diana,
I have been with this guy for six months. I am not yet sure if he is the right guy for me. He keeps springing surprises and splurges me with gifts. He seems to have already made up his mind that I am the girl for him. I don't know why I am not yet convinced about him. At the same time, the way he is going about, I don't know how to tell him to go slow. I do not want to break his heart. He thinks I also like him and that we are made for each other. My guy gets carried away too fast. He is all out to prove that he cares for me. Often, I find this irritating. How do I tell him to go slow? I dread to think that if I feel he is not the guy for me, he will be devastated. It is not that I an leading him on. He is going too fast, too soon. On the other hand, I prefer to be cautious and slow in my approach.
— Naina

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Naina,
Your guy has made up his mind and you also need to take a decision soon. If you want time, you need to tell him clearly. It appears that this man is busy planning a future with you, while you do not even know if he will exist in your scheme of things. He is impulsive and a happy-go-lucky individual while you want to be safe, rather than be sorry. You may not be leading him on, but at least you can tell him to go slow. For starters, stop him when he goes on an overdrive buying gifts for you. This is his way of making you happy and you seem to be enjoying it. At the same time, if you two sit down and talk things out, he will have a clear picture of what is going on in your mind. It is time you were honest and forthright with him as he is with you.

Dear Diana,
For over two weeks, I have been nursing a broken heart. My guy had kept me in the dark about the other woman in his life. He was two-timing me and I had no clue. A friend would often see him with a girl riding pillion on his bike late nights. She would often tell me, but I paid no heed. I always felt it could be one of his female pals he was dropping home or one of his office colleagues. I did not think anything was amiss till he suddenly told me that he was moving on. I was taken aback. I did not even think for even a moment what was going on his head. We were together for two years, so it has been difficult for me. I was taken for a ride by him. He cheated on me and I believed the lies that he told me. I do not know what to do. He does not respond to my calls or messages, but I still pine for him.
— Megha

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Megha,
Why are you still pining for him when he dumped you and lied to you? This man is not worthy of your love. He kept you in the dark about the other woman in his life. He was two-timing you. It is clear that he was not interested in you from the beginning. You seem to be a stop-gap agreement and the day he was bored of you, he dumped you. Move on in life and next time be wary. Your friend would keep telling you about his waywardness, but you did not pay attention to her. If you had questioned him at that time, things could have been different. Get going in your life. Do not pine for him. Remember he dumped you, so why even care for this man?

Dear Diana,
I have been with this girl for over a year now. She's sweet and caring. For the last three months, however, she has developed anger management issues. She throws a fit for the most smallest and silliest reasons. The other day we were walking on the road and I happened to cross the road before she could. She was annoyed and vent her fury. Earlier, I thought I would spring a surprise and landed at her place with a bunch of flowers. But I had to face the onslaught as she threw the bouquet at me for landing at her door unannounced. I do not know what to do. She suddenly flares up and I do not know how to tackle it. It is becoming a source of embarrassment for me to be seen with her in public. Should I dump her? At the same time, when she is good, she is very good. But when she is bad, she is very bad. I am in a fix.
— Suresh

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Suresh,
Have you sat down and spoken your mind out to her? If not, you should because she may be unaware of the misery she is inflicting on you. You need to clearly tell her how you are afraid to step out with her in public as you do not know how she will behave and cause a spectacle in front of everyone. Also, you state that of late she has been having anger management issues. What has caused this sudden outburst? There must be some reason or person who triggered this sudden change of behaviour. When she is in her sweet, quiet moods, tell her how she behaves. What if you behaved in such a manner? She would not take any nonsense from you. If she does not see sense, then you need to take a decision and perhaps go your way.ndle her temper tantrums...'

Dear Diana,
I work in a multinational company and I have to put in long hours at work. My wife chose to quit her job after our wedding since she thought one of us needs to take care of the house. However, I am constantly appalled at the way she keeps the house. It is always messy and sometimes downright dirty when I enter the home after a long day at work. I tried talking to her about the cleanliness and hygiene part, but she snaps back at me saying she doesn’t get enough time. But I see her lazing all the time. What do I do? Please help.
— Nishant Khare

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Nishant,
Different people have different ideas about cleanliness and hygiene. Perhaps because of the way they have been brought up. You should have had a clear communication with your wife about her duties before marriage. Even now you can sit her down and explain to her about what you expect from her. Since you work hard to make sure that her financial needs are met, it is only fair that you expect her to work enough to keep you happy at home.

If she resists, how about hiring a maid to do the cleaning work? Not every woman can be expected to be house proud and take pride in sweeping and swabbing. Your wife might be having other hobbies. If hiring a maid is an extra financial burden you can put down certain basic rules gently to your wife. If she loves you enough, she is bound to bend a little.

Dear Diana,
My girlfriend has started behaving strange. She has been making several demands which I cannot fulfill. She wants me to buy a house and a car before she commits. I know for sure that she doesn’t care for me like she used to before. I often ask her if it is time to let her go. We have been together for four years. But since the past six months, she seems to have lost interest in me. Or perhaps she is bored of me. Sometimes I wonder if there is someone else on the scene. We have been having constant squabbles. We are no longer on the same page. I have tried to talk to her, but she refuses to listen. I think it is time to let her go. At the same time, she is clinging on and making things difficult for me. What should I do? After all these years, it will be difficult for me. I am already feeling sad and dejected.
— Neerav

Illustration/ Uday Mohite

Dear Neerav,
Your girlfriend is dropping hints, but at the same time is not going her way. You cannot force her to love you. Give yourself a little time to ponder before telling her that it is better that you went your way. Your relationship has reached a plateau. If you do not want to cut off ties with her, take a break in the relationship. You will feel your life is falling apart, but time will heal all wounds. Do not look back, but before that you need to take a decision. If you do decide to let her be in your life, then she will continue with her highhandedness. You need to gain back your self-esteem and find someone who will reciprocate your love. You have given your all to the relationship, but she has not. So why stick around such a girl?

Dear Diana,
I had lied to my mother that I was going overnight with my pals to Lonavla. The fact was that I was spending time with my girlfriend at a common pal's house whose flat is vacant. The next day while unpacking my bag, my mother found my girlfriend's T-shirt in the bag. She wondered how a female pair of clothing was among my clothes. It was a girlie T-shirt and not one of those unisex T-shirts which I could pass off as one of my friends. I then cooked up a story saying that one of my pal's girlfriends had tagged along. But she still wondered how it reached my bag. The fact was that my girlfriend was carrying a lot of stuff and while packing, it slipped in with a large bath towel. I had just stuffed my towel in the bag and did not realise that her top went in with it. I told my mom to discard it, but she has washed it and kept it in my cupboard. I am embarrassed and do not know what to say. My mother has not broached the subject again. What should I do? I feel guilty. Should I tell her the truth?
— Nayan

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Nayan,
First, learn to handle your own stuff — you are making your mom do things for you still! Instead of stuffing your bag with bundles of clothes, if you had neatly folded the clothes and kept it, this problem would not have arisen. Also, when you were back home, you dumped your bag and made your mother do the unpacking. It is time you learn to do your own stuff. You seem to have your mother doing all your work. If you had unpacked your bag and separated the clothes that needed to be washed, you would have found your girlfriend's top rolled in the towel. So you alone are to blame for the predicament that you find yourself in. If you are riddled with guilt, tell your mom the truth who by now already knows what you are trying to hide.

Dear Diana,
I have fallen in love with my best friend's wife. They got married recently. I was attracted to her the day I saw her, just before their wedding. I am single. When I am around with her, I try my best to contain my feelings for her, but I cannot. I keep dropping in at their home on some pretext or the other. I have never had such feelings for any other girl. My buddy is planning to go on a holiday to Goa. A lot of our common pals are also going, so he has also told me to come along. I am scared that I do not do something stupid and make things embarrassing for her. I find my feelings for her getting stronger day-by-day. I keep fantasising about her. She calls me bhaiyya which I detest. At the same time, I would never do anything that would destroy my friendship with my buddy. What do I do? Should I just break my friendship with him?
– Amar

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Amar,
You are well aware that you are playing with fire. She is your buddy's wife, so if you are thinking of a future with her, be ready to get scorched. Remember you are ruining your life, her life, as well as your buddy's life. You may be attracted to her, but you will have to contain your feelings for her. Have you ever wondered how your pal will react? How will you face your buddy when he realises what is on in your mind? A relationship with your pal's wife will only ruin your life. You seem to have let yourself go. It is easy to say that you are attracted to her, but you need to draw the line. She calls you bhaiyya, so she has no clue what is going on. It will come as a shock to her when she realises that you are lusting for her. Banish any such thoughts if you do not want to lose your friend. If you are finding it difficult, limit your interactions with his wife for a while. Also, get going with your life and find someone else.

Dear Diana,
My guy has this peculiar habit of poking fun at me. Whatever I do, he has a problem. He does not like the way I dress, the way I eat and the way I talk. Recently, I enrolled in a gym and he finds it amusing. He has been asking me daily how many inches I have lost. He has been sarcastic and instead of goading me to lose weight and motivate me, he is going on a different tangent. I try hard to please him, but he always takes offence. We have been together for eight years. He says he is afraid to commit, so even though we are in our early 30s, a wedding is not on the horizon for now. I usually do not react to whatever he says, so after a while he has to keep quiet. When we are with friends, he behaves loving and caring, but when we are alone, he shows his true colours. I am fed up of him and his recent behaviour has been obnoxious. He even lands up at the gym to watch me work out and questions the instructor whether I am serious about it. What should I do?
— Sandy

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Sandy,
Why are you still sticking around with a guy who leaves no opportunity to demean you? Why have you been taking all his nonsense all these years? You seem to have developed low self-esteem because of this man. He needs to accept you, the way you are – just the way you have accepted him. He does not ridicule you in front of his pals because they will chide him. He knows that you are submissive and meek, so he can get away by telling you anything. It is time you stopped being the doormat. More importantly, you need to sit down and take a decision. Do you want to be with a man who ridicules you or respects you? The choice is yours. If you want to stick around, stop complaining. But if you want a man who respects you, walk out on him.

Dear Diana,
I am 24 and have just started working in a trading firm. When I was studying for my postgraduation, I fell for a guy in my class. I have been in touch with him, even though it is difficult to meet now due to our busy schedule at work. We hang out together rarely and mostly chat online. I thought he was the guy for me, but I was mistaken. To begin with, I feel he is not my kind. I have met another guy at work who I feel is more my kind. I feel more comfortable with him than with my guy. I think I fell for the wrong type of guy. My office colleague is everything I want in a guy while my boyfriend is everything I do not want. He keeps chiding me for not being technology savvy. I admit I take a while to learn, but he loses patience quickly. While my colleague is patient and makes me understand things calmly. I am confused between the two. I have heard that several women fall for the wrong type of guy and then get stuck as there is no way out. What do I do? I do not want to stick around with this guy, but I do not know how to tell him.
— Jasmine

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Jasmine,
You are attracted to this guy at your work place, but you are unsure about his feelings for you. He is nice and caring because he is a colleague. You are new at work, so he is just being nice. At the same time, now suddenly you realise your boyfriend is not for you. This dilemma is because you are comparing both the guys. Stop doing this and you will be in a better place. You may have read about people falling for the wrong type of guys, but in your case it is a self-created problem. The moment you stop your comparison notes about your office colleague and your guy, you might just feel he is your type. So give your guy a chance before planning your next move.

Dear Diana,
I have been married for two years. My husband is proving to be a good-for-nothing. He joined a gym recently, but barely went for a week. He is a couch potato and does not help me with household chores. As a result, he is gaining weight and suffering from diabetes. He also switches jobs every few months due to which we are always low on funds. In the first year of marriage, he was okay, but now he has become a pain. He cribs about everything. I work as a teacher and give tuitions to supplement the income. I don’t think anyone can change him. He is simply atrocious and always finds faults in others. His family, who is based in Goa, have also given up on him. I feel like leaving him, but then at times he is loving and caring making me wonder if I am doing the right thing. I am confused and do not know what to do? Should I give him an ultimatum?
— Mohini

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Mohini,
You are living with a man who has scant respect for you. If he cared for you, he would not behave in such an atrocious manner. This man certainly needs to be shaken up. He seems to be living in his own world and feels that he can get away with everything. You need to give him an ultimatum. If he does not change — or at least show signs of changing, there is no point sticking around. He may be sweet and caring, but that is only for a while. He has made life a living hell for you. You need to walk out on him. For a while, go stay with a friend or your folks. Hopefully, common sense will prevail and he will shape up. If he does not, you are happier and better without him.

Dear Diana,
My girlfriend has been behaving strange lately. There is a 12-year age difference between us. At times, I feel she is childish. She sometimes tells me I'm the one for her, but then she ignores me and, at times, I am like a father-figure to her. In front of my pals, she behaves like a kid and they have started making fun of me. Things were not like this earlier. I liked her as she was mature and far beyond her age of 23. I am 35 and my family is putting pressure on me to wed. But looking at her recent weird acts, I am having second thoughts about marriage. She tells me that she does not mind marrying me for now. I find it strange. Does this mean that when she finds someone else, she will dump me? Her pals tell her I am too old and that she should be with someone in her age group. Things are getting more weird as now she is telling me that we should take a break in our relationship. I don't know what she will do next. Am I better off without her?
— Neel

Dear Neel,
It could be that she doesn't like you and does not want to say it clearly. She is going on this weird trip thinking that you will go your way. You can't be in a relationship with a girl who is all muddled up. Initially, you say, things were fine despite the age difference. This means either she has been influenced by her pals or there is someone else on the scene. Taking a break means that you two might not get back together. Sit down with her and tell her honestly what you feel about the situation. If she continues with her weird act, you need to take a decision. Then you are better off without this woman who keeps changing her stance.

Dear Diana,
My boyfriend and I stay in the same residential complex. We have been neighbours for over a decade. Our friendship blossomed into love and we have been going steady for the last three years. Four months ago, a new family moved into the building. They have a beautiful and young daughter who wants to be a model. All the building guys have taken a fancy to her, including my guy. I detest when he talks about her. He keeps saying how beautiful she is. This is causing a rift between us. I feel he is falling for this other woman. Last week, we had a showdown and he told me that I was an insecure woman. I cannot take the constant attention he showers on her. What do I do? He has already told another resident of the building to introduce her to him. I am sure that he wants to have an affair with her. How do I stop him from going overboard with this new girl?
— Vedika

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Vedika,
He is right in calling you an insecure woman. You have known him for years and the mere presence of a new girl in the neighbourhood is giving you sleepless nights — you need to learn to trust him. This new girl is young and pretty and all the guys in the housing complex have taken a fancy to her. You need to understand that he is not having an affair with her, he is just trying to get her attention like the rest of the guys in the building. He does not even know her, so how can he have an affair with her? She might have a guy on her scene. You do not know if she is single or committed. So stop spinning an imaginary web where you see her as a threat to your love life. You need to take a chill pill.

Dear Diana,
I was in a relationship with this girl over a decade ago. We went our ways, but there was no single reason what caused a rift between us. We did not know where we were heading. There was no possibility of a future together as both of us were married. So it was a case of an extramarital affair for the two of us. After about six months, she got cold feet and stopped meeting me. In a fit of anger, I told her to not talk to me. We used to work at the same place. I then decided to switch jobs. After that she did not try to get in touch with me nor did I contact her. It has been 11 years that there has been no communication between us. My problem is that I think of her every single day. There is not a day that I do not wonder what she is up to. At many times, I feel like getting in touch with her, but then refrain. I do not want to cause an upheaval in her life, but how do I get her out of my head?
— Rishabh

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Rishabh,
It has been over a decade that you two called it quits. Time is the greatest healer, but you still seem obsessed with her. The reason being that you did not seek closure. If you had, perhaps you would not pine for her still. You state that you two just drifted apart and you cannot pinpoint a reason. If only you two had sat down and ascertained the reason, things would have been clearer on your front. There is no point getting in touch with her. Refrain from trying to communicate with her even in the weakest moments. Also, most importantly, the two of you are married, so you will be causing havoc in the lives of your respective partners as well. Let her live her life while you need to move on. You are living in the past, it is time you learn to live in the present. This girl is your past, so let her remain there.

Dear Diana,
I have been going around with this guy for the last five months. As I am quite a chirpy person, I have lots to tell him. I keep jabbering about everything and anything. He has been giving me a patient hearing. But to my dismay, I have now realised that he has been telling his friends that I talk too much. He tells them that he needs to stuff cotton wool in his ears for peace and tranquility. Some common pals have been telling me that what he is doing is wrong. I find this behaviour of his irritating. Why should he be talking about my inadequacies? I may be a chatterbox, but if he has a problem, he needs to tell me, and not others. I find it strange that he listens to whatever I say and then goes around telling tales behind my back.
— Shreela

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Shreela,
This guy is not telling you anything, but revealing his discomfort to his pals. This is strange, if you two are in a relationship and are serious about each other. It is wrong of him to go around blurting out whatever you tell him to common pals. You have every right to be upset with him. You may be of a cheerful disposition, but he cannot go around talking about your inadequacies to friends. He is ridiculing you and having a hearty laugh with his gang of pals. If you are talking about your personal life, you need to be cautious. You never know what he has been telling others and might blurt out personal details too. At the same time, you need to tell him to refrain from doing it. You need to explain to him that you are telling him stuff in confidence. A relationship is based on trust. If he refuses to change, it is better you go your way.

Dear Diana,
I am 26 and plan to get married to this guy I have known for the last three years. His parents, however, detest me. They are aware that we intend to tie the knot, but they still feel their son will not go against their wishes. His family feels I am not suitable for him. They refuse to explain why. They feel I am not their type — whatever it means. Six months ago, we had planned on a Arya Samaj wedding, but he backed out at the last minute. I then told him we should have a court marriage. He said if he were to marry, he did not want to do anything on the sly. With every passing day, I find his behaviour changing. He is also behaving strange. I think he doesn’t love me anymore. What should I do?
— Sancheeti

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Sancheeti,
It appears that this man is not interested in marriage. If he was, he would not dilly-dally about committing to you. He might be in a relationship with you, but is he really serious about you? It seems like he does not want to infuriate his family. His backing out at the last minute is a clear sign that he will bow to his family’s wishes at the end. You will be the one nursing a broken heart as his folks will fix his marriage somewhere else. He needs to make it clear if he is willing to go against the wishes of his family. If his behaviour towards you has changed lately, it’s a clear sign that things are amiss. You can’t trust this man, so be wary and make it clear to him. He needs to tell you where you stand in his list of priorities.

Dear Diana,
I have been with this girl for almost a year. Things are going fine between us except that she does not get along with my sister. She just did not gel with her from day one. I thought things would improve over time, but things are going downhill between them. She is my elder sister and has been a mother figure to me ever since our mother passed away when we were young. How do I make her resolve her differences with my sister? I hold my sister in high regards, so it is important that she gives us our blessings. We plan to get married next year. I have been trying to make them sit down and resolve their differences, but it is proving to be tough for me. Last week, I took them to a mall, but they ended up fighting with each other. I think it is an ego issue between them.
– Yuvi

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Yuvi,
You are caught between these two women and it is difficult to please one as then you are offending the other. You say it is an ego issue, so you need to settle their differences with great tact. Listen to what each of them has to say individually and then resolve their differences. At the same time, these two women need to realise that both of them are important to you. There is no question of offending any one of them. You three need to sit down with an open mind and deliberate on what are the issues that are causing heartburn. You say the two women just did not click from day one. In such a scenario, it is then important to live and let live. If the two are constantly going to be at loggerheads, a reconciliation will be impossible. In such a scenario, you will need to give them space while you be the common factor.

Dear Diana,
My wife and I have been married for four years now. Both of us have had very different upbringings. While I have been living away from my parents for over ten years, my wife has always lived with her parents. Although she is a free-thinking and independent woman, I feel that she is overly dependent on her parents. No matter what issues she faces, her parents are the first ones to know. I do not have a problem with her discussing her issues with them, the issue I have is that she should be able to filter what she discusses with them and draw a line. Just the other day, she was telling them about a fight we had and how to resolve it. Do they need to know everything? Sometimes I feel that I am overreacting and should accept her for what she is but then again, why do her parents need to know everything that's going on in our lives? I have tried talking to her but she thinks that I am overthinking. What do I do? Please help.
– Rakesh

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Rakesh,
Your situation is slightly tricky but with a little effort you can resolve the issue. First, you need to understand that everyone shares a different kind of rapport with their parents. May be you are okay not calling yours often since you are used to that kind of set up but just like your wife there are several others for whom parents come first no matter what the situation is and they need to discuss everything with them. I suggest you sit down and talk to her about what you expect from her. Politely tell that that you don't mind her talking to her parents often but she needs to know the boundaries. Also, converse often because may be it's the lack of communication that makes her vent to her parents in the first place.

Dear Diana,
I met this doctor when I was hospitalised. She took care of me and gave me unconditional attention during my stay there. We exchanged our numbers and she promised to keep in touch. After getting discharged from the hospital, she regularly sent me good morning messages. In fact, the first time she came home, we indulged in some physical romance. However, she doesn't communicate much and is always mum when I tell her that I want to take the relationship ahead. I don't know what to do.
– Confused patient

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Confused patient,
It's obvious there is some chemistry between the two of you. However, seeing how she keeps ignoring you advances for a relationship, it only suggests that she isn't interested in one. Don't read too much into her text messages, it could be bulk message that she sends to everyone on her list. As for getting physical with you, well may be that all she wanted from the short relationship. If you are still curious and confused about what to do, then talk and express your desire to take the relationship forward. Tell her that you are serious about her. Chances are that you will never hear from her again or she may respond to your gesture and express her true feelings. This could either be positive or negative, so don't be too heart broken if she tells you that she is just not that into you. Take it in your stride, respect her decision and move on. May be the next time you can check out the patient next to you in stead of the doctor or nurse in charge. Statutory warning: There is no medication prescribed for broken hearts, so don't dwell much on it and look for someone who feels the same way about things the way you do.

Dear Diana,
I was friendly with this guy almost a decade ago. We got along well — I could talk to him for hours. There was never any shortage of subjects and I always felt time just flew when I was with him. He was not the outgoing type, but in my presence he opened up. He told me that he was at peace whenever he was with me. We never spoke about the future or where we were heading to. We just talked and talked about everything and anything. From the most routine of stuff to national headlines to religious debates. It was as if we were destined to meet and to talk. I used to always feel I would meet this one guy who would be special. It was him. Our friendship, however, lasted barely a year. I wanted him to be my best buddy, perhaps my only buddy, but he wanted more. He wanted a physical relationship. That's when the problem arose. I had to tell him whether I 'liked' him or 'loved' him. In a fit of anger, he stopped talking to me. I let him be and after that we never spoke again. But I still pine for him after all these years.
— Neesha

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Neesha,
You were genuine in your friendship with him, but this guy wanted more. He was only interested in a physical relation which you were not ready for — or perhaps needed more time to commit yourself to him. If he really cared for you and loved you, he would not have dumped you. It is clear that he did not respect your feelings. You had clearly told him what was on your mind, still he was hellbent on doing what he wanted to. You are better off without this guy — you need someone who respects you. As you got so involved with him, you are still pining for him. He did not give you a chance to seek closure as he just walked off. You are better off without this foolish guy. Over time, you will forget him, so stop thinking about him.

Dear Diana,
I recently changed jobs and on my first day in the new office, I met this wonderful woman. She proved to be of great help to me. She made me feel comfortable and we got along well. She is a workaholic and an ambitious person. We often sit in office late as she is eager to finish off the paperwork. As we are part of a legal team, there is a lot of paperwork that needs to be done. I was attracted to her the moment I saw her, but now I am in love with her. I do not know how to tell her that I care for her. I have been dropping hints, but she is not reciprocating. The other day we were in the office till 10 pm and I suggested that we catch a bite. But she said no as it would get too late. I do not know if she is playing hard to get. How do I get to know what is on her mind?
– Rehan

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Rehan,
First, you need to find out if there is anyone on her scene. Only then can you think of planning a future with her. There may be someone special in her life, so that could be the reason, she is not reacting. Or perhaps, she is so engrossed in work that she has no time to romance. It could also be that she just refuses to react. She may have her own reasons, so meanwhile you can continue with dropping hints. You are still relatively new in the organisation, so do not mess up things. It will have an impact on your personal as well as professional life. For now, just go with the flow, and only after it is clear that there is no one on her scene, make the move. She also may not want to rush into a relationship, so is taking time. For now, be patient.

Dear Diana,
I was friendly with this girl for over three years. I met her through common friends and we hit it off well. We started hanging out together and I was extremely comfortable in her company. We would talk for hours and even spoke of a future together. Things were fine till last week, when she dropped a bomb. I received a text message from her telling me that it is all over. I was shocked. I called her umpteen times, but she refused to answer the phone. I sent her hundreds of text messages, but there has been no reply. Common friends tell me that she does not want to see my face. I want to know what wrong did I do her? Why could she have not told me about it? I did not find anything amiss in recent days that could have led her to take such a drastic decision. With no answers, I am a nervous wreck. I keep reading her SMS all day. I am heartbroken and unable to recover from the shock. What do I do?
– Monty

Illustration/ Uday Mohite

Dear Monty,
After being with you all this while, the girl certainly owed you an explanation. She severed ties with you via a text message. This is not done. The least she could have done is to drop hints so that you were prepared for what was coming. You say there were no tell-tale signs. It could be that you were so blinded in your love and trust for her. Or it could be that there was someone else and she hid the truth from you. She was perhaps two-timing you or this girl was plain bored of you. Whatever the cause, she needed to tell you. It will be difficult for you, but this girl does not care for you, so why grieve for the broken relationship? Let her be and time will heal your wounds. Do not keep asking your common friends to find a reason as this will cause more chaos. Next time be wary before you commit to someone.

I am 19 years old and have been dating someone for 2 years now. We love each other very much but there is one thing I don’t like about him, which disturbs me a lot. He thinks I am fat, which is not right. I agree I don’t have a flat tummy, which is what he wants, but I am not fat. We have heated arguments about this. He also thinks crop tops don’t suit me. I have started dieting and going to the gym, working hard on my body even though my own parents don’t think it necessary. He still taunts me when he sees a girl with a perfect body, and this hurts me a lot. He should be with me and support me, but taunts me instead. I have spoken to him, but it doesn't seem to work. Please help. I can’t take more taunts.

Your boyfriend sounds like a moron, to be honest. I understand that you love him, but I can’t figure out why his idea of what you should look like and what you should wear should be accepted as a norm by you. It’s your life, your body and your decision to wear what you feel like. If you decide to accept his bizarre demands, you are setting a precedent for what the future of your relationship will be like. It’s not okay for someone to tell you how you should look. It’s not okay for someone to comment on what you wear. The only people who do that are ministers in our country, because they don’t really know better and because most of them haven’t been to school. Your love for your boyfriend should never be more than your love for yourself. If he doesn’t get that, he’s not worth being with. The sooner you understand that, the better your life will be, and the higher your chances of finding happiness with someone who accepts you unconditionally at some point in your future.

Sonam Kapoor in a bulky sweater over a dainty dress by Prabal Gurung. Pic/AFP

Style book
* Don't pick a jumper that is too thick as it might make you look bulky and uncool.
* Embrace anti-fit. It goes with all body types. Too tight a sweater dress and you might look like Kim Kardashian from her non-fashionista years.
* Belt a sweater dress if you want to look sleek but skip if you are top heavy.

Pick a pleated skirt (metallic for your evening out) to pair with a long or a short jumper, at seen on Christian Dior's show

* Pair a cropped jumper with wide-legged pants that are cut above the ankle. You can even wear cropped jeans and pair them with embellished flip flops or pool slides for a relaxed day look.
* Contrast is the key — wear an oversized sweater over a pleated or a lace skirt. You can also wear it over a dainty dress.
* For your evening out, wear a metallic or sparkly sweater with a pair of strappy heels. If the temperature drops, add a pair of colourful stockings or above-the-knee preppy socks.

Take a cue from Tommy Hilfiger and wear a glittery jumper as a dress, with stockings or long socks. Pic/Getty images

* To go from baggy to sexy, add a lace peek-out bralet.
* A sweater layered over a buttoned down shirt is a classic pairing; take it to the next level by wearing it over a shirt dress instead. You can wear it with stockings or even ankle length boots. Add a sling bag or a neckpiece to make the look bohemian.
* Wear a chunky neckpiece over a solid coloured jumper and jeans for a hip day look.
Inputs by stylists Shaleena Nathani and Neha Tham

Wedding always brings a smile on your face and why not? After all, it also gives you a chance to shop till you drop. But have you ever realised that long hours of makeup, excessive consumption of oily food and sweets and lack of sleep can result in dull, parched skin that is easily acne prone and pigmented? So, this wedding season, be a little smart, say experts. Sangeeta Velaskar, Vice President and Head, Medical Services and R&D, Kaya Limited gives you some easy tips to put your beauty anxieties to rest:

1. Besides opting for a skin detox or a facial, it is crucial to take care of your skin as we embark on the winter season. Therefore, limit the use of makeup products as much as possible and opt for a clean, minimalistic look

2. Incorporate the basic regime of cleansing, toning and moisturizing

3. Once or twice a week, use a gentle exfoliator and massage your face in a slow, circular motion to ensure good blood circulation and remove dead skin cells

4. Moisturize your skin at all times and even when you go out, do not forget to apply sunscreen

5. If possible, incorporate a night time regimen that includes Vitamin C to renew face cells and restore skin elasticity

7. Use products that have ingredients such as marine extracts, tea tree oil and mulberry extracts. They are a rich source of proteins and a powerhouse of nutrients that reverse the effects of ageing

8. A good facial is of course, the perfect way to detox, restore and rejuvenate your skin whether you're tired, run-down, stressed or in need of a quick fix

9. It is rightly said, that you are what you eat so consume lots of fruits, nuts and sprouts in your diet. Drink enough water to keep the body hydrated and include fruits and vegetables that have high water content such as watermelons, cucumbers, strawberries and peaches. If possible, drink at least one glass of vegetable juice to increase the fiber intake

Also, Blatrix Marion, Eau Thermale Avène Sensitive Skin Expert, lists some easy detox tips to give a fresh start to your skin:

1. While cleansing should be a daily habit, you should prefer certain products when undertaking a skin detox: choose a soap-less and gentle formula.

2. Your skin needs a deep, exfoliating clean, but be very careful to be gentle! Choose a 3-in-1 mask-scrub is a clarifying clay that turns into a scrub to deeply cleanse and exfoliate the skin leaving the complexion fresh and matte.

3. Once a week indulge in a home spa ritual. Choose a quiet evening and get into the mood with nice soothing music and a cup of nettle tea. Do easy home masks with thermal spring water. It guarantees continuous and prolonged contact of water with skin, thus enabling skin to enjoy the water's soothing and anti-irritating properties more rapidly and recover instant comfort and well being.

4. Use cotton wool pads soaked with thermal spring water placed gently over the eyes to prevent dryness from allergies or use of contact lenses

5. Use SPF based products to protect your skin from external aggressions

6. Always remember that ‘Less is More'. Your skin needing a detox means you should be using as less products as possible for some time. Also prefer products with gentle and minimum number of ingredients

Visible panty lines and camel toes are big fashion faux pas and can ruin even the most perfect outfit. Do not buy tight underwear, and hide bulging belly fat with high waist panties, suggest experts.

Smita Murarka, Head - Marketing and E-commerce at MAS Brands India (amanté and ULTIMO), and Neha Kant, Founder of Clovia, have listed a few ideas:

• Aim to wear underwear that fits perfectly. A tight underwear leads to lines and discomfort whereas a loose underwear easily bunches up inside one's clothes, showing wrinkles and bumps.

• Underwear should be selected depending on the outfit being worn. Thongs are a good option when you are wearing tight clothing, boyshorts provide full coverage, hipsters offer modest coverage at the hip area, full briefs cover your abdomen area and bikinis are an all-time favourite giving a feminine look.

• To avoid visible panty lines, opt for seamless panties, boyshorts or thongs.

• To hide bulging belly fat, opt for panties with a high waist or panties with broad waistband.

• Always wear nude or skin coloured panties under white or light bottoms.

• While wearing low waist jeans always wear a low waist or ultra low waist panty.

• Avoid camel toes with a very simple hack using panty liners. Place two panty liners on top of each other and adjust it over your panty.

• Fabric of the clothes plays an important role while selecting the right underwear. A smooth seamless panty is an apt choice while wearing dresses and flimsy light fabrics.

• Stay away from thongs when you are working out and stick to cotton panties. It is important to be aware of choosing the best kind of underwear for your health as to avoid UTI, yeast infection and other such problems.

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Style book

The sheer dresses and skirt trend is still going strong and if you wish to go a little edgy, try a sheer skirt or trousers over a bodysuit or shorts like Balmain

In a world of oversharing, you can show off the stylish contents of your bag with clear pieces like Chanel’s. Pair a formal trouser suit with the playful bag or plastic shoes

Dia Mirza in an Amit Aggarwal dress made using recycled plastic

Wear clear heels (by Prabal Gurung) or clear-strapped footwear that will help make your legs look longer

Be the fun person in your workroom by carrying a clear briefcase. pic courtesy/ instagram. com/helmut lang

MIU MIU does girly chic with this edgy winter plastic coat over a paillete dress

Hula your way into the New Year or dance off daubed in glitter -- there are options galore for party goers here this New Year's Eve (NYE). With unlimited food and drinks, rousing electronic dance music (EDM) and DJs to celebrity singers, the eastern metropolis has upped its game in the party scene over the years.

Representational Pic

Revelry is not restricted to the British-era Park Street any more. Take for instance the Aloha Hawaii event at Hotel Hindustan International where a Hawaiian spread would accompany enthusiasts eager to have a go at the hula dance

The mood reflecting the technicolor coral reefs of Hawaii shifts to a more extravagant take on the festivities with a couple of places putting up gold-themed celebrations.

At JW Marriott, ride out into the New Year with a 'Golden Ticket to 2018' gala or get the glitter on at De Sovrani's glitter party, complete with golden hued props and glitter make up.

Marking 50 years, The Park, at its Rosewood banquet hall, will host the 'Black and Gold Affair' with a swinging live band and DJ to belt out the latest in international and Bollywood hits.

For a purely musical night out, rock out at the Hard Rock Cafe as DJs spin the wheel to make you groove over some mix of Bollywood to EDM and classics.

For a breath of fresh air and a 360 degree view of the city scape, hit one of the largest's rooftop New Year's party at Novotel Kolkata where you could dance your heart out with DJ Aziz under the stars.

At 330 feet at Ozora Highlife, one has the option of enjoying performances in a massive open air space.

At the historic Bow Barracks, hub of the Anglo-Indian community, one could experience the all-night dance amid a plethora of fruit cakes and home made wines.

A walk through the bedecked Park Street, engulfed in the wafting aroma of breads, buns and cakes, could round off the night for those yearning for the classic form of festivities.

Alexandre Vauthier Spring Summer 2018

Bella Hadid seen sporting the shades at public dos 

Actor Jennifer Aniston at an event in 1998 

Rihanna. Pics/Getty Images

Kangana Ranaut

Ginni Negi, 30 HR professional
"I am very sure they will not suit the shape of my face. I don't prefer tiny sunglasses nor do I like oversized ones. I actually find them funny. For me, the size and fit have to be just right."

Shreya Goenka, 29 brand and product consultant
"They don't serve a purpose, so why wear them? For me, sunglasses are first, a funct­ional thing, and then comes their glam quotient. If the des­ign does not protect the eyes, I will not wear them on a regu­lar basis. The tiny ones do look cool, but so do regular ones.

Pratiksha Phale, 21 student
"I will first see if they suit my face, and if they do, I will go for them. I think the '90s shades look cool. I don't mind experimenting, although usually, I don't go with very edgy frames."

Sakshi Shetty, 22 event manager
"I have seen a lot of bloggers wear these. But I wouldn't as I don't experiment much and prefer classics such as aviators. [The tinies] look cool, but Bella Hadid can pull off anything. Also, the slim frames don't protect your eyes."

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