The post 12 Tips for Self-Portrait Photography (+ Examples) appeared first on Digital Photography School. It was authored by Guest Contributor.

Starting a self-portrait project? Want to capture beautiful portrait photos using nothing but a camera, a tripod, and your own ingenuity? Self-portrait photography can be an outstanding creative outlet, and it can be a lot of fun, too. But it can also be very challenging; you have to deal with a variety of factors, including […]

The post 12 Tips for Self-Portrait Photography (+ Examples) appeared first on Digital Photography School. It was authored by Guest Contributor.

The post 12 Tips for Stunning Urban Landscape Photography appeared first on Digital Photography School. It was authored by Leanne Cole.

Urban landscape photography is all about taking the chaotic complexity of a city and turning it into well-ordered, beautiful compositions. But if you’re just a beginner – or even if you’re a more experienced city shooter – you may struggle to get solid results. After all, cities are often messy, unstructured, and full of movement; […]

The post 12 Tips for Stunning Urban Landscape Photography appeared first on Digital Photography School. It was authored by Leanne Cole.

The post Depth of Field: The Essential Guide (+ Tips) appeared first on Digital Photography School. It was authored by Bruce Wunderlich.

You may have heard the term depth of field (DoF), but what actually is it, and why does it matter for photographers? Regardless of your skill level or the type of camera you possess, comprehending depth of field is essential to expanding your photographic horizons. It applies to every aspect of photography, from macro close-ups […]

The post Depth of Field: The Essential Guide (+ Tips) appeared first on Digital Photography School. It was authored by Bruce Wunderlich.

Dark Force Rising, The Last Command, and Rogue Squadron are coming out as new trade paperback editions in September as part of Del Rey's Star Wars Essential Legends Collection.

Hasbro has produced a 4-figure set for a 21-year old Timothy Zahn Star Wars books and it DOESN'T feature Thrawn?

By Sara Truuvert

Sweaty palms, shaking limbs, and the distinct possibility of puking. Am I describing riding a rollercoaster or having a crush in middle school? These two thrill rides collide in Jake Maia Arlow's MG debut Almost Flying.

The novel follows thirteen-year-old Dalia, who has planned the perfect summer: finally ride a rollercoaster and make a new best friend. But when Dalia's dad announces he is engaged and expects Dalia to bond with her soon-to-be stepsister, Alexa, Dalia thinks her summer plans are shot. Luckily, Alexa agrees to take Dalia and Rani, a new girl from Dalia's swim team, on an amusement park road trip. What should be a smooth week takes a turn when Dalia realizes she might have more-than-friend feelings for Rani. Almost Flying launched on June 8th, 2021 with Dial Books and is widely available to order.

Jake Maia Arlow is a writer, podcast producer (listen to her work on shows like NPR's Invisibilia), bagel connoisseur, and co-writer of a musical about a gay demon competing in a reality TV show. You can find out more about Jake on her website, Twitter, and YouTube channel. Watch for her YA debut, How To Excavate A Heart launching from HarperTeen in 2022.

Q. A huge congratulations on your MG debut! Your protagonist Dalia is thirteen, which is such a weird, wild, sometimes(?) wonderful age. Did that time in your own life influence this story?

A. Thank you so much! That time in my own life absolutely influenced this story—mostly in that I was a complete weirdo in middle school. And while I wasn’t brave enough or self-aware enough to understand my own early queer feelings, I was so deeply idiosyncratic that I could write 1,000 middle grade novels and never touch on all of my bizarre behavior. For example: I wore mismatched toe socks to school every. Single. Day. 

Q. I love how unique Dalia is—for starters, she absolutely loves watching rollercoaster POVs (but would rather keep this hobby to herself!). Would you speak a bit about developing Dalia’s character?

A. Developing her character was one of the most exciting parts of the writing process, because it involved watching a ton of rollercoaster POV videos! Part of my process included taking notes on different POV videos in Dalia’s voice—some of those early free-writes even made it into the novel in various forms. It’s hard for me to start writing before I know a character’s voice, but Dalia’s came very naturally to me. She’s an anxious queer Jew from Long Island … just like me haha!

Q. Dalia has to navigate some complicated feelings she develops for her friend Rani. Did you map out the trajectory of their relationship before you began writing? Or was it more a matter of seeing where your writing took you?

A. I knew that Dalia had a crush on Rani from the very beginning, but it took me a few rounds of edits to realize that Rani also had a crush on Dalia from the start. Dalia overthinks everything, and even though Rani gives her some pretty clear signals, she doesn’t pick up on them. It was really more of a discovery writing process than I thought it would be!

Q. Do you have any writing routines or rituals that help you get into a good workflow?

A. Oooh, I love this question! I always have rain sounds playing in the background, regardless of whether or not it’s actually raining outside. Other than that, I do the pomodoro method (25 minutes of writing with a five minute break) and I try to have a friend around so I can bounce ideas off of them! 

Q. You have a helpful (and funny) post on your website about the process of getting your agent, which, understandably, involved a fair amount of nerves and panic. What would you say to an author who feels daunted by the idea of starting this process?

A. I’m thrilled that someone has read that! My advice is always to be over prepared. I am almost chronically over prepared because of my anxiety, but in this case it served me well. Listen to podcasts, read sample query letters, read the acknowledgements of your favorite books. There are so many incredible resources that you never have to go through this alone. 

Q. Do you have any advice for young writers?

A. YES! So many people like to say “read,” which is awesome advice, and you should absolutely do that, but my other piece of advice is to WRITE! Write in a journal, write your earth-shattering novel idea on a Google Doc and share it with friends, write recipes, write spells. Write anything and everything. At the very least, you’ll have something to look back on. 

Q. Finally, I understand that both you and Dalia are bagel connoisseurs. I must know, what separates a great bagel from a good bagel?

A. This is the greatest question I’ve ever been asked. First of all, if a bagel isn’t boiled, it’s not a real bagel— it’s just a piece of bread with a hole in the center. But other than that, a great bagel is freshly made, a little warm on the inside; it’s chewy on the outside and soft on the inside. And, most importantly, a great bagel is one that you eat with friends and family. 

------------------------------------------------------------------

Sara Truuvert completed her MLitt in Creative Writing at the University of St Andrews. She also holds a Certificate in Creative Writing from the Humber School for Writers and a BA in English, Drama, and the History and Philosophy of Science from the University of Toronto. Her work has appeared in the Literary Review of Canada among other publications.

For more interviews, see the Inkygirl Interview Archive. Also see Advice For Young Writers and Illustrators, a compilation of tips generously offered by children's book creators Inkygirl.com has interviewed over the years.

Author-illustrator Ken Lamug has created award-winning picture books and graphic novels. Born in the Philippines, Ken moved to the US with his entire family during his teenage years. His debut middle grade graphic series, MISCHIEF AND MAYHEM #1: BORN TO BE BAD, launched this week from Katherine Tegen Books / HarperCollins!

Mischief and Mayhem is about Missy and her cat Gizmo. They were kicked out of superhero bootcamp. Now it's time for some super-villainy! I love the plot twist that the main character, Missy, decides she doesn't really fit into the labels the world she lives in has created; she's not really a villain, nor is she a superhero.  

Links where you can find out more: MischiefBook.com, Ken on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. His website: Rabbleboy.com.

Q. I read that MISCHIEF AND MAYHEM started as a 32-page picture book story. How did it end up as a graphic novel?

Yep! The idea for Mischief and Mayhem started as a 32-page picture book - originally titled "Mischief the Supervillain". At the time, I was focused on my picture book ideas and wasn't even considering graphic novels. I had experience illustrating books, so I knew it was just a matter of time until something clicked for me. I went through the steps book creators are familiar with: writing the manuscript, creating dummies, and many rounds of revisions.

The dummy went through the submission process and even hopped to another agent (when I switched to a new one). We received a few rejections and a few interesting comments. One of the more resounding comments was that the idea was cool and needed to be expanded. But the picture book format limited what we could do.

We finally received an acceptance offer along with a caveat... turn it into a graphic novel! Yikes!

A few things scared me about this: it would have to be in full color, and at least 240+ pages. How does one turn a 32-page picture book into something that big?

And before anything was signed, I had to give the editorial team a few things: a fully illustrated first chapter, and a full outline for the book. This would give them a better idea of the story and my comic style. So I added new characters, expanded the moments from the story, and added a lot of jokes!

Once the editorial team gave the thumbs up, I was off to the races to get my debut graphic novel complete.

EXTRA: You can find out more about Ken's process as well as sample sketches in his Q&A with We Need Diverse Books.

Q. I've been thinking about a graphic novel middle grade project, but am intimidated by the amount of time the ART could take. Do you have any tips? How much time did MISCHIEF AND MAYHEM TAKE YOU in total? Were you working on anything else at the same time?

No kidding. Graphic novels ARE a lot of work. I've easily spent 1000 hours on Mischief and Mayhem (including creating marketing materials, videos, etc.). I also have a day job, so most of my after-hours are spent working on the book (typically around 5 hours on the weekdays). I basically stare at the computer screen all day!

During this time, I was also creating art for a picture book. And since the schedule for picture books are a bit more relaxed, I was able to squeeze it in without much problem.

Here are some tips I hope you'll find useful:

1. Working digitally has helped increase my productivity. It's easier to create dummies, inking, make revisions, and get feedback.

2. Scheduling and planning are very important. Find out the deadline, how many pages you can complete per day, and do the math.

In my case, I've determined that I am inking(outlining) about 1 page per hour. This means it will take me roughly 250 hours to outline a 250-page book. Based on that number, I can then determine if my deadline is a realistic goal. I know, it's a lot of math but it does help and you will be able to strategize how you approach the project.

3. Streamlining your art style. This varies depending on your abilities and time. Some artists are blessed enough to work full-time on their books and with longer deadlines. But if you're not one of them, then I would suggest streamlining the look of your characters, your drawing techniques so you can work faster and efficiently. Some artists are able to also hire a team to help support the rest of the task such as coloring, inking, letter, etc., but a majority of graphic creators are one-person operations.

4. Don't forget to take a break and enjoy life.

Q. What advice do you have for young graphic novel writers and illustrators?

Start small. You don't have to create a big "novel" length book right away. I started my comic book journey when I submitted a 4-page comic to an anthology. After I gained some confidence, I started creating 24-page comic one-shots (single issues). And it just kept growing from there.

Comics should be fun for both the creator and the reader, so make sure to enjoy the process and don't stress out about getting it right the first time.

Q. What's next for you?

I just finished illustrating a picture book called FAMILY BUSINESS (by Lenore Appelhans). It's about a raccoon family who seems to always get into trouble. I'm excited for that to come out (no dates yet).

I'm also in the middle of Mischief and Mayhem book 2. As I write this my hand is hurting from illustrating a "Where's Waldo-Esque" spread. Ha! But I'm proud to say the art has improved and the story is even bigger than the first one.

I've never really had a big plan for my drawing/art career. It's all a blessing and a humbling experience. I just hope that the readers love the stories and connect with the characters. So we'll see what happens next!

~~

For more interviews with children's book creators, see the Inkygirl interview archives.

Looking for a hugely entertaining alphabet book that also has an uplifting message of empowerment for young readers? I highly recommend T. REXES CAN'T TIE THEIR SHOES by Anna Lazowski and Steph Laberis, launching June 29th, 2021 from Doubleday Books For Young Readers. The back matter also has an alphabetized factoid list of "all the amazing things animals CAN do!"

This is an alphabet book that can be appreciated by grown-ups as well as young readers, with lots of potential discussion points. The illustrations of animals in ridiculous situations are so SOOOOO FUN --- omigosh, even as I'm writing this post, I went back to look through the digital ARC and can't decide which is my favourite, though I'm leaning toward the "Cheetahs can't chew bubble gum" page.

I asked debut picture book author Anna Lazowski if she had any advice for young writers, and here's what she said:

"Write what you want to write, because as you move through the publishing process, it will become incredibly important for you to truly believe in your work. The rejections in this industry are endless, and they come at every stage. Critique partners might reject elements of your manuscript, agents will reject your work, and once you're on submission to editors, they will reject your work. Then once you're finally published, some reviewers will reject your work. If you don't fully believe in your stories, this will be extremely hard to take. It's hard as it is, so make sure you're all in on the work you're doing. It will make the rest a little bit easier to navigate."

Wise advice. Thank you, Anna! And congrats to you and Steph on your upcoming launch!

----

Also see other Advice For Young Writers and Illustrators From Children's Book Creators and my other Interviews With Children's Book Creators.

Image at the top of this post was created for my new #BookADay book journal. For more info about Donalyn Miller's #BookADay challenge, see Donalyn's post in the Nerdy Book Club blog.

Just read (and loved) a fun reimagining of the classic fairytale Goldilocks and the Three Bears: GOLDIBOOKS AND THE WEE BEAR, written by Troy Wilson and illustrated by Edwardian Taylor, published earlier this year by Running Press Kids.

Here is Troy Wilson's advice for young writers:

"My advice? Write badly. Badly, badly, badly. Include words and ideas that shouldn't be there. Leave out words and ideas that should be there. Put things in the wrong order. Have your protagonist act wildly out of character. Why? Because that is what your favorite author does.

"You don't see your favorite author's horrible first drafts. Or horrible second drafts. Or horrible third drafts. For that matter, you don't see their attempted books that never, ever turned out at all. (Some things are just dead ends, even for your favorite author.) No, you only see their final, super-duper-polished work, after they got lots and lots of great feedback.

"Everyone starts with bad writing. Every single writer, every single time - no matter how long they've been doing it. You can't avoid your own bad writing. You can't go around it or over it or under it. You have to go through it. Just get it onto the page or screen. You can always fix it later. Except if you let the bad writing - or the fear of bad writing - stop you from writing. Because you can't fix what isn't there."

Thanks, Troy! 

Related links:

Publisher page about Goldibooks and the Wee Bear

More about Troy Wilson at TroyStory.ca, Twitter and Facebook.

More about Edwardian Taylor at EdwardianTaylor.com, Twitter and Instagram.

-----

Find more advice for young writers and illustrators from children's book creators.

I've been gradually adding new and older BookADay posts to my new Bookstagram. One of the most recent:

SOUP DAY by Melissa Iwai (Henry Holt): Celebrates the importance of making a nutritious meal and sharing in the process as a famly. Also be sure to check out Melissa's newest book, DUMPLINGS FOR LILI (Norton Young Readers).

Brian McLachlan is a cartoonist who's worked for Nickelodeon, The Nib and the New Yorker. He writes the monthly comic Spruce Street Squad for Owl Magazine. His book, Draw Out The Story: 10 Secrets to Creating Your Own Comics is an ILA-nonfiction award winner. Each Tuesday he hosts a group of artists in a PG-13 game of Dungeons & Dragons where they live draw what happens in game on Twitch, called Magical Marker ( MM ). You can find Brian at his website, on Twitter, and Instagram.

Synopsis of COMPLETE THE QUEST: THE POISONOUS LIBRARY (Imprint/Macmillan):

Save your kingdom in this interactive role-playing adventure, which reads like a graphic novel but also plays like a game! It’s perfect for fans of all ages who are interested in the exciting world of fantasy gaming.

Q. How did you come up with the idea for Complete The Quest?

Complete the Quest in a brand new mix of role playing game (RPG) and comic. It started as an experiment to see what would happen if I took a Dungeons & Dragons or Chose Your Own Adventure multi-path story and made it into a comic. How would the gameplay change by putting it into a visual space? For me, it was a literal game changer, turning the CYOA anxiety of multiple choices, into a laid-out, laid-back invitation to check all paths for your favourite way forward. It also encourages people to come up with their own, better solution if they want. While I always give the reader a clear path forward, I invite them to forge their own. It's a great introduction to co-operative storytelling.

Q. What was your writing/illustration process?

I draw a scene much faster than I can write about it. A picture's worth a thousand words and all that. So I draw my scripts in rough, laying out out the word balloons, figuring out how much space I need, how the page turns feel, etc. This was especially important for this comic gamebook which also filled with maps for the reader to navigate. We needed to see if the pathing was clear. Creating the tutorial was the most time intensive part, trying to make the most elegant, clear way to ease the reader into how the game part functions. I think we nailed it. I hear from parents who don't play RPGs that they were worried about the reading a gamebook, but they quickly "got it".

Q. What advice do you have for young writers and illustrators?

Advice is hard to give because everyone's different. Some people need to hear "finish what you start" and some need to hear "stop working on that thing, it's good enough". So my advice is to train your inner advice-giver and follow it. What is it about the way you work that you've been putting off improving, but could do right now? Because you know what type of story or art you're making, and if you're trying to make an apple, the best advice in making a banana isn't going to help. And the best advice in making an apple right-handed isn't going to help you if you're left-handed. Not all advice is for you, it's a skill to figure out what part is for you to take right now, later, or never.

----

Also see my other Inkygirl interviews with book creators and advice for young writers and illustrators from book creators.

This website has now been folded into my main DebbieOhi.com website, so please adjust your bookmarks. Thank you!

We’ve all seen the IKEA LACK shelf. Many of us have probably installed one or two in our homes. It’s practical, unassuming and one of the most popular IKEA pieces for budget-friendly decor. But just when we thought we’d seen it all, design producer Justin Miller who goes by the handle @miztermiller on Instagram, gives this humble shelf a fresh twist and got us looking at the simple, chunky shelf with renewed fondness. Miller’s latest hack transforms five 74-inch LACK […]

The post The IKEA Hack That Turned the Ugliest Wall into a Striking Focal Point appeared first on IKEA Hackers.

The IKEA NÄMMARÖ storage box serves as a practical solution for the garden and balcony, functioning well as an outdoor storage box and bench. Made from acacia, a naturally durable hardwood, it is pre-treated to withstand the sun, rain, stains, and general wear and tear. However, the loose lid can be a pro or con, depending on your specific needs and space configuration. For John Sharpe, the design was a bit of an inconvenience. “The original box has no hinges,” […]

The post A Quick Fix Makes This IKEA Outdoor Storage Box So Much More Accessible appeared first on IKEA Hackers.

When I first started working in the big city, my friends and I rented a house. I always tried to make my little room as cozy and personal as possible, beyond the basic bed and wardrobe that came with the place. And I made sure to leave it in as good, if not better, condition than when I moved in. Later in life, I had the opportunity to rent out a property. Unfortunately, I experienced the frustration of having my […]

The post 17 Sneaky Ideas for a Rental Makeover Your Landlord Won’t Spot appeared first on IKEA Hackers.

When I saw John J.’s hack, I was thrilled. His clever integration of IKEA wardrobes with kitchen units answered so many questions our community had been grappling with. It felt like he’d cracked a code, opening up possibilities for combining these IKEA ranges. John successfully mixed elements from the IKEA PAX wardrobe and METOD kitchen range to create a built-in wardrobe with drawers and horizontal storage cabinets above the PAX wardrobes. It certainly goes beyond the typical wood frame and […]

The post The PAX Height Extension Hack We’ve All Been Waiting For appeared first on IKEA Hackers.

Norwegian designer Camilla Bakken repurposed the popular SNUDDA lazy susan into a chic, spinning wall sconce! This innovative repurposing might just be the most unexpected use of a turntable yet. The SNUDDA, known for its practicality in the kitchen, has found a new life in Camilla’s hands. By attaching strip LED lights to three SNUDDA units, she created a unique lighting solution that added ambiance and functionality to her space. The lights are controlled via a remote and can be […]

The post This Round Wall Sconce Hack Is Our New Favorite DIY Project appeared first on IKEA Hackers.

As the year draws to a close, the holiday season is upon us once again. Although we still have two months until Christmas, studies have shown decorating early is actually good for your mood. The vibrant colors and twinkling lights simply trigger the release feel-good dopamine, which in turn, boosts happiness and energy. I must admit, Christmas decor makes me grin like a kid with ice-cream, until I look at the price tag of tinsel and garlands and baubles. Yikes! […]

The post Deck Your Halls for Less: 14 Christmas Decor Ideas Using IKEA Finds appeared first on IKEA Hackers.

We’ve all been there – the frustration of searching high and low for that elusive piece of furniture to turn our home decorating vision into reality. For Sabrina, her search was for the ideal console table. “Unfortunately, I could not find the perfect console, so my husband had to believe in it again and build one himself!” she shared on her Instagram post. After realizing that the perfect entryway console was nowhere to be found, the couple decided to take […]

The post Failed Furniture Hunt Inspires Couple’s Fabulous Entryway Console Hack appeared first on IKEA Hackers.

The area behind the door is frequently overlooked, often turning into a cluttered mess of hanging coats and bags. However, @corinas.leben found a way to change that. She took four basic IKEA FLISAT wall storage shelves, originally designed for organizing toys and books, and transformed them into a practical, behind-the-door storage system. By assembling the four shelves and attaching them to two vertical planks, she created a slim shelving unit that can be discreetly tucked away behind a door. The […]

The post An IKEA Hack That Works Wonders For This Often-Ignored Nook appeared first on IKEA Hackers.

A few years ago, I had a successful KonMari sesh that helped me tackle my closet chaos. But over time, I noticed that clutter started to creep back in. The issue was: All In, No Out. I made new purchases—thanks to an expanding waistline—but neglected to let go of ill-fitting clothes (because maybe, just maybe, I may fit into them again?) But recently, after spending a good 10 minutes digging through my wardrobe for that particular mustard cardigan, it became […]

The post 10 Things From IKEA Helped Me Tame Closet Chaos (Finally!) appeared first on IKEA Hackers.

New Disney+ Star Wars TV series The Mandalorian premiered on Tuesday and people haven't been able to stop tweeting about "Baby Yoda." Can you blame them? He's just so goddamn cute. The catch here is that Baby Yoda isn't actually Yoda at all, but rather of the same species. Either way, people are positively freaking over him, and we don't blame them.

Here we have two hardened, wild bunnies of the north! Perfectly camouflaged to blend in with their wintery world.

-Sally Squeeps

What a squee wolf pack! Is that friendship or hunger in their eyes though? Let's not stick around to find out.

-Sally Squeeps

A much less famous, but just as squee, story than "The Tortoise and The Hare".

Arctic foxes look sooooo soft. I just want to snuggle with one on a chilly day!

Kerkopithekion says: "Our 14-week-old puppy Storm living the hard life of sofa naps and belly rubs."

Oh, what a hard life! I do not envy him... just kidding, I totally do.

-Sally Squeeps

Do you have a squee pet that you want to share with the world? Send us your pet pictures and stories, and they could end up on Daily Squee!

The only thing sweeter than these candy treats is the love I feel for this darling little squee friend right now.

Here are my latest recommendations for specific security software and techniques.

What Security Software Do You Recommend? (2024 Q4 update) from Ask Leo!.
Get the Confident Computing weekly newsletter: https://newsletter.askleo.com

Having your email automatically or continually signed in to can be a security risk in some situations, but very convenient in others.

Is Automatic Sign-in Safe for My Email? from Ask Leo!.
Get the Confident Computing weekly newsletter: https://newsletter.askleo.com

If your format happened quickly, it's unlikely your data was actually erased. I'll show you the difference.

Will Formatting a Disk Erase All Data? from Ask Leo!.
Get the Confident Computing weekly newsletter: https://newsletter.askleo.com

CHKDSK can't check an empty drive, and Windows considers RAW to mean empty.

What Does “CHKDSK Is Not Available for RAW Drives” Mean? from Ask Leo!.
Get the Confident Computing weekly newsletter: https://newsletter.askleo.com

Commercial software can be expensive. Can you just pirate software if you can't afford it? You can guess my answer, but even better: theft isn't necessary.

Why Can’t the Poor Just Pirate Software? from Ask Leo!.
Get the Confident Computing weekly newsletter: https://newsletter.askleo.com

When I was young, I had my first out of body experience (OBE for short). While I did not know about them at the time, I later learned that my experience matched the usual description: I felt as if the …Read more »

Plato, through the character of Socrates, advances a now classic argument against democracy. When it comes to a matter that requires knowledge and skill, such as a medical issue, it would be foolish to decide by having the ignorant vote …Read more »

This book contains essays from the 2016 postings of A Philosopher’s Blog. Subjects range from the metaphysics of guardian angels to the complicated ethics of guns. There are numerous journeys into the realm of political philosophy and some forays into …Read more »

Embed from Getty Images Scottie Nell Hughes, a Trump surrogate, presented her view of truth on The Diane Rehm Show. As she sees it: Well, I think it’s also an idea of an opinion. And that’s—on one hand, I hear …Read more »

While being a charter school is distinct from being a for-profit school, one argument in favor of charter schools is because they, unlike public schools, can operate as for-profit businesses. While some might be tempted to assume a for-profit charter …Read more »

Client: “So you got everything you need? Take all the time you want. We really believe we understand the mind of the creative individual. We know it takes time to create a powerful ad.”

Me: “Yeah. It does. Thanks.”

Client: “But it’s urgent. Just imagine that it should have been done as of yesterday.”

Me: “But no deadline?”

Client: “Right. Well, I mean, we need it for four days, but otherwise, yeah; no deadline.”

Client: “We’re a startup game company, and we need one character with thirty different eyes, thirty different mouths, thirty different hairstyles, and thirty different bodies for our game where the character can be customized.”

Me: “Okay, that’s technically thirty characters with each element drawn separately and/or in separate layers.”

I then give my rate for thirty characters.

Client: “Your profile says you charge [amount] for only one character. Please give us that rate since it’s only one character but he has thirty different mouths, eyes, hair, and bodies. So the price should be just for one character.”

I do in-house design work for my boss. I’ve worked with her for ten years and she swings wildly back and forth from being surprisingly design-savvy (not for a literal decade of trying on my part) and being a client from Hell. Today, she swung somewhere in the middle.

I have spent the entire time I’ve known her explaining how you cannot just pull photos from Google; I’ve explained copyright, public domain, etc. She refuses to buy photos 99% of the time, so I usually use free stock photos when possible. When she absolutely needs to buy a photo, she emails our web guy and has him buy one for her and add it to her next bill.

Me: “I see you got [Web Guy] to purchase the photo for the ad and forwarded me the email with the file. Unfortunately, the file is too small. Unless he sent you a separate email with a larger file, I will just email him for the correct one.”

Boss: “Maybe it’s how I sent it. I’ll try again.”

She forwards me the same email.

Me: “No, no, it’s not you. The file he sent you is labelled “thumbnail,” which is a preview file. He probably just sent the wrong one by accident. I have emailed him.”

Boss: “What about this one?”

She sends an email with the same photo attached.

Me: “That’s the same one. I have emailed [Web Guy]. Don’t worry about it. You don’t have the correct file.”

She forwards the same original email from [Web Guy].

Boss: “What about now?”

Me: “No, boss, I’ll get it from [Web Guy].”

She forwards the individual email she sent me.

Boss: “How about now?”

Me: “Boss, no.”

Closure: She now has a stock photo account that I have access to.

This story happened a few years ago. A friend refers me to his mother, a real estate agent who wants a new website for her business. I call her to set up an appointment.

Client: “So, what is your expertise in real estate?”

Me: “I’ve done two real-estate websites in the past, and they’ve been quite successful. I can provide you with a searchable database of listings where buyers can filter by price and other factors, as well as a homepage with featured listings, your bio, and anything else you’d like to include.”

Client: “Yes, but have you ever sold a house before?”

Me: “No.”

Client: “Why not?”

Me: “Because I’m not a real estate agent. I’m a web developer.”

Client: “So how do you expect to do a website for me if you don’t know anything about being a realtor?”

Me: “I know enough to build a website with a listing database which you can very easily populate with descriptions, photos, and any other info you wish to provide the buyers with. I can also provide other tools, such as a mortgage calculator and a lead-tracking system that allows potential buyers to contact you with listings they are interested in.”

Client: “I really don’t think you know what you’re doing. I think I’m going to have to pass and find someone who knows how to sell a house.”

Later, I discovered she had finished her website. On Geocities. Yellow background. 50pt font. Seemingly designed by a ‘real’ real estate agent…

Me: “I’ve looked at the brief and it’ll cost [total].”

Client: “I thought you were a freelancer.”

Me: “I am.”

Client: “No, you’re not. You’re a chargelancer!”

Me: “Hey, I’m glad I caught you. I’m calling about that request that I made five weeks ago. You never responded to any of my emails or voice messages. I’m just wondering what the status on that is?”

Client: “Well, the reason I didn’t respond was because your first email about it was unprofessional. We’re all professionals here, and I expect to be treated professionally. You really need to work on your communication skills, and I expect better from you if we’re going to continue working together.”

Me: “I’m looking at the whole email chain right now, and it seems fine to me. What seems wrong with it?”

Client: “Well, for starters, you could ask how my day’s been. Or you could put a joke at the bottom of the email. And you should really get rid of that line with all your company information at the bottom, it looks so unprofessional.”

Client: “I need the number for Jack. Can you give me his number, please?”

Me: “Jack? Jack who?”

Client: “The manual for the modem said that I need to connect to Jack, so if you could give me his number, then I can connect with him.”

Where modern design, affordable living and sustainability meet, there is CABN. The first home of this project has just been created and soon, CABN's design will be the basis of a 67-home, net-zero community. If this is what the future looks like, there is hope that humans will actually have a healthy, happy future on this planet.[...]