Take a trip in the time machine with Fr. Joseph and travel back to the 4th Century (with a brief musical stop in the 1970s).

You know how strange dreams can be when you're not sleeping in your own bed? Well, this one ranks up there with the strangest. But, Fr. Joseph has a very practical application in this "Best Of" Orthodixie podcast.

Listen to this exclusive "interview" with the author of a new (wink, wink) book on proper church etiquette.

Listen to this exclusive encore "interview" with the author of a book (wink, wink) on proper church etiquette.

Here's a remastered version of Fr Joseph's interview with Fr. Danislav Gregorio, author of the book, An Empty Church is a Peaceful Church, taken from the forthcoming audio book version of We Came, We Saw, We Converted.

Interviews and arguments, struggles and slogans, one thing's certain: Orthodoxy ain't easy -- and that's no small thing. Or, is it?

From rumors and whispering campaigns, to flattery and praise, the Church is able to weather any storm. However, the temptations may prove too much for the fair-weather (or even the foul-weather) faithful laity and clergy. In this episode, Fr. Joseph meets Mr. B. Al "Buba" Zeebop and his devilish operation.

Has the latest news about the election, international struggles and the economy got you down? Well, take heart and fear not -- for the frost, my friends, is on the pumpkin!

Fr. Joseph joins Sir Paul McCartney, Alvin Chipmunk, José Feliciano and other Wailers in a journey down memory lane -- eschewing the worldly sounds of the season for some really bad (ghostly) percussion moments. Are you prepared?

What do Charles Dickens, Buzz Lightyear, Vladimir Lossky, the Carolina Panthers, the Baltimore Colts, Angels, Shepherds, George Frideric Handel and Kawasaki all have in common? Surely to goodness nothing but this podcast! Fr Joseph is visited by another "ghost."

Tackling the differences among the Gregorian, Julian, and Appalachian Calendars concerning the date of Christmas is nothing new -- and can be quite the tongue twister.

"These days, Orthodox Christianity is becoming known on the highways and byways, even in the hills and the hollers. But let's not get lazy. Let's not squander this opportunity." Fr. Joseph thinks everyone should have the opportunity to hear about -- even come home to -- the True Faith (and click here to visit the SmallTown Heroes he speaks about at their web site).

With help from his daughter, Fr. Joseph tries to stay on pitch while singing Dan Idzikowski's "Superchristological and Homoousiosis".

In this encore presentation, Fr. Joseph takes a trip in the time machine and travels back to the 4th Century (with a brief musical stop in the 1970s).

Father Joseph talks about possible titles for his forthcoming book: a humorous look at Orthodoxy in America. NOTE: For those keeping score, during the course of this podcast the following words will be mentioned: sycophant, bishops, titles, convivial, cult and Antiochian.

When is a bishop like an old shoe? A comfortable shoe? A GPS? Alas, there may come a time when you have to check with Johnston and Murphy on such things.

The recent announcement by Pope Benedict of the formation of "a special provision for Anglicans, including married clergy" to come home to Rome got Fr Joseph wondering about his own journey and what he, and they, believe. He agrees with the pope!

A vision of Brett Favre, along with the surprise of a Pittsburgh Steeler, join Fr. Joseph (a husky seventh grade boy) on the playing field of ... priestly ministry.

Fr. Joseph looks back on 2009 episodes of the Orthodixie podcast (and can't believe he didn't get fired) and looks forward to more jabs at American Orthodoxy in 2010.

Fr. Joseph recounts the expelling of demons from the home of a parishioner. (Kinda, sorta.) "More at eleven ..."

First it was "live podding," then the dread, the guilt and the heavens were separated from the earth (which, naturally, led to a parody of the theme song from "Green Acres"). Clean Monday blows through quickly; pigs don't fly, but kites do (and don't miss Fr. Joseph's fun outtakes at the very end).

Suffering from a case of Lenten white boy funk, Fr Joseph revisits the Orthodox Urgent Care Hospital. (He also promises next week's podcast will be on The Tonight Show!)

As many of you know, an historic gathering took place this past week in New York City: All of the Canonical Orthodox Bishops (at least a goodly number of them) met to discuss matters which pertain to the Church in the Americas. The Orthodixie Podcast had a Man on the Street for the proceedings but, as this podcast is only updated about once a week,some of the information you are about to hear may seem contrary to other reports, or it may be a bit dated, or, frankly, it may be flat out untrue. (But have fun identifying the snippets of music in the podcast.)

What's the difference between Orthodox Christians' participation on the Internet and, say, secular scoundrels? Sometimes, it seems, not much. Fr. Joseph admits his foot's been in his mouth but his tongue's still in his cheek; in other words: "Let's be careful out there!"

On this special edition of the Orthodixie Podcast, Fr. Joseph interviews the author of the new Conciliar Press book Aidan's Song: A Year in the Life of a Parish Priest. The book has been compared to the "Far Side" cartoon and the TV show Married With Children—but nothing quite compares to Fr. Aidan Wilcoxson's singing a rather surprising number on this very podcast. Aidan's Song is an insightful, moving, and often hilarious personal snapshot of a year in the life of a parish priest. Enjoy!

Fr. Joseph interviews the Development Director, Presbytera Shyla Hadzellis and her husband, Fr. Nicholas, about OCF and their presence at the recent GOA Clergy-Laity Congress held in Atlanta, Georgia.

The number of Orthodox Christians in America is greatly inflated in a recent survey; an anonymous Orthodox comments on a Christian caterpillar; and a Muslim converts to Christianity thanks to antidoron -- all this and more as Fr. Joseph reads letters from AFR listeners.

The audio version of the book, "We Came, We Saw, We Converted: The Lighter Side of Orthodoxy in America" is the perfect gift for that special someone (you know, the one who's hard to buy for, and you might as well get them something for free!). Fr. Joseph is giving away free copies to those who send him their funniest Christmas Story—listen closely to this encore (re-gifted?) episode, "The Ghost of Past Christmas Presents" for details on how to win your free audio book download!

The entries are in, the votes have been tallied—thanks to all who participated! We have three "winners"—Erin, Alex, and Adam—a kid's story, and some kids telling stories.

Fr Joseph ventures into the chaos of mass house blessings with the Sign of the Cross, two Shaun Cassidy fans, and one former Exorcist!

Everyone from Nero to Kissinger to Osama to GaGa has been believed to be the Antichrist. The weekly Bible study group at St. Joseph Church, Houston, is about to learn from—I mean, of—another one.

Fr. Joseph speaks at the Greek Orthodox Metropolis of Denver's Clergy-Laity Conference, hosted by St George Greek Orthodox Church, Albuquerque, New Mexico. (He was going to title the talk "What Does a Greek Look Like?"—but then again, what DOES a Greek look like?)

It always comes on a Thursday and, after a familiar dialogue of forty days, it always leaves one speechless (so to speak). In this episode from 2007, Fr. Joseph looks at the "Hi's" and "Hello's" of the Feasts.

Fr. Danislav Gregorio visits the Orthodixie studio to plug his latest publishing efforts, a series of Great Books that cover bachelor fasting, Orthodox evangelism, patience, and mindless middle-aged mishaps (among other things—perhaps even the most important thing).

What do you say when a ten-year-old says, "My best friend is gay"? How 'bout cartoon friends, can they be gay? Fr. Joseph wades in where even Elmer Fudd dares tread in this first episode of a two part series on . . . well, you know what the topic is.

From Bert and Ernie to parents, kids, and a pope—Fr Joseph talks about the struggles and the goal of sexuality in part two of this two-part series.

Fr. Joseph travels to Pennsylvania to deliver a series of talks based on the Didache. In this episode, excerpts from two OCA parishes: Holy Cross, Williamsport, and Christ the Saviour, Harrisburg.

Fr. Danislav Gregorio returns to the Orthodixie podcast to hawk his new country music CD. (WARNING: You have been warned.)

What does John the Baptist have in common with bees, mead, honey and moons—even honeymoons? Fr. Joseph fills in the details and answers the question: If Zacharias and Elizabeth knew then what they know now, would they have gone through with it all?

Ever tempted by those misbaving in church—you know, the parents? (Of course, kids can be quite the nuisance, too.) Fr. Joseph ventures where angels, at least priests—even parents, fear to tread!

Fr Joseph rants and runs for cover—raising concerns, but not hands (please).

In this episode, which features a guest appearance by Fr. Danislav Gregorio, Fr. Joseph intends to show a vagabond who's boss! Hard to explain, but it doesn't quite turn out as planned.

Rumor has it that this episode is about gossip. But like I told someone else . . . don't tell anyone!

All the hoopla about a former Olympic star so-called transitioning into the opposite sex (Girl Scouts, Boys Scouts, bathrooms, and blah blah) has just about sent Fr Joseph over the edge. He dreams of setting Fr. Danislav straight, or vice versa.

There was a time when "Is it real, or is it Memorex?" meant something. Nowadays, we've forgotten the latter and can't define the former! Even with help from Randy Travis, ELO, Drake, Jim Croce, and Adele -- Fr Joseph still seems to miss his Ma (Bell).

With the Fast upon us, Fr Joseph remembers longing for chocolate in Paradise. But that was then, this is Yuma.

Jesus cast the demons into the swine. What did that sound like? Fr Joseph, with help from the children of St Joseph Church, and a potent dish of Hopko, explains.

Sometimes we can be just too impressed with our own words.

The Great Commission just doesn't apply to us, right?

What's in a name? Our names represent our families and we are family through the blood of Christ.