Dear Diana,
Last week, when I was at my friend’s home, a couple of drinks down, I got carried away. I was at his place for dinner. My pal got a call from his office for some work. One of his office staff members then dropped in with a bunch of documents. He got busy and was at his laptop. His office help and he were going through the papers. My pal’s wife and I then moved to the balcony with our drinks. Their bedroom has an entrance from the balcony. I was quite drunk, but in my senses. As it was windy on the balcony, his wife said we could sit in the bedroom. A few more drinks down and we got carried away. I kissed her, but she did not move away. Nor did she stop me. It was as if she wanted me to make the first move and get physical with me. A few minutes later, we walked back to the living room where her hubby and his office guy were still busy with work. She behaved as if nothing had happened. I, too, kept quiet. Now, I can’t get over her. I crave for her touch even though I am also married.
– Arindam

Illustration/ Uday Mohite

Dear Arindam,
You are playing with fire and you know the consequences. She is your buddy’s wife so you will lose not only a dear pal, but also destroy your marital life. She may have had her reasons to let you on, but when it comes to revealing the truth, she might just put you in the dock. She will then blame you and say that you outraged her modesty. Your friend will then take her word and will not believe what you say. It is better that you get this woman out of your mind. Avoid interacting with her too much. Her hubby is your pal, not she. If she is keeping quiet about it, then let it remain between you two. At the same time, never ever again get yourself in such a situation.

Dear Diana,
A few days ago, I was at a ice lolly stall in my neighbourhood. It was late afternoon and the heat had got to me. I ordered for a lime lolly. As I waited for my order, I saw this girl at the cart. In a second, I felt attracted to her. I kept looking at her. Realising it, she felt conscious and moved away. She was with her friends and we kept looking at each other. When they left, I tailed them till they entered a housing complex in the vicinity. Ever since, I have been going to the ice lolly cart every other day hoping to see her again. This girl haunts me. How do I know who she is? I think she is the girl for me. I have been visiting the ice lolly and juice centre at different timings, but to no avail. How do I know where exactly she lives? Thanks to my frequent trips to the centre, the attendants have realised what is on my mind. One of the extra friendly guys at the cart tells me she does visit regularly, but our paths have not crossed.
— Vickrant

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Vickrant,
You may feel it is love at first sight, but you don't know who she is. Nor are you aware what is on her mind. Just because your eyes met does not mean anything. Like you, she must have been parched and looking for a quencher. By landing at the ice lolly and juice centre all the time, you sure are giving good business to them. Instead of planning a future with the girl, try to find out who she is. If you feel she is a regular at the outlet, you can find out from the attendant, who you have befriended, around what time she usually frequents the place. But do not stalk her or you will get into trouble. The next time you see her, smile and then, may be, start a conversation.

Dear Diana,
I had gone with my office colleagues to Khandala over the weekend. It was the 50th birthday of our boss, so he had booked a resort for the office staff. He runs a trading company and the staff strength is 14. Out of which five guys, including me, and six girls went for the celebration. After an evening of merrymaking we all headed to our rooms. As I was unable to sleep, I sat in the garden for a while. One of my female colleagues, too, stepped out as she was unable to sleep. We got talking and on the spur of the moment I kissed her. She did not stop me. As it was dark in the garden and no one was around, we got intimate and then went to our respective rooms. Back in Mumbai, I was engulfed in guilt. I am married and have a young daughter. This female colleague is single. She pretends as if nothing happened, so I also did not broach the subject again. Should I tell my wife what happened in Khandala? I do not know how she will react.
— Palash

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Palash,
You got carried away in the heat of the moment and are now regretting it. You can say it was one weak moment. Now you are regretting and thinking about your wife. But before telling your wife about your one-night stand, think how well your wife can handle the situation? If not, it is better to keep quiet, but at the same time you must not fall prey to temptation and let yourself go. Whatever happened in Khandala, is better left there. Your female colleague is also tightlipped, so it is better you keep mum. And hopefully she will remain quiet. It is better to be safe, than sorry. So next time do not fall prey to temptation.

Dear Diana,
I've been in a relationship with a girl in my neighbourhood for the past few years. We hang out together and we are considered to be a couple. We have been together since our school days. Recently, I met another girl who has moved to our housing complex. I feel attracted to her even though I do not know her. She is extremely pretty. I keep fantasising about her. I do not understand why I have developed feelings for this other girl who I do not know. Some of my neighbours have befriended her and say that she is a sweet, caring girl. I want to strike a friendship with her, but at the same time do not want to hurt my girlfriend. What is worse is that we stay in the same neighbourhood so — sooner or later — my girlfriend is going to find out.
— Neeraj

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Neeraj,
You don't even know this new girl in the neighbourhood, but have fallen head over heels for her. As she is attractive, you might be infatuated by her. At the same time, you do not know if there is someone on her scene. You seem to be getting carried away by her looks. When you speak to her, you will have a different viewpoint of her. Your girlfriend will throw a fit when she finds out that you have developed feelings for someone else. Don't let this other woman ruin what you have with your girlfriend of so many years. Also, your mind is muddled. Sit down and think in what direction you are heading. First, get to know this new girl and then decide whether she is the girl of your dreams.

Dear Diana,
I was in a relationship with a girl for four years before we parted ways three years ago. Our break up was quite bitter and obviously we never tried contacting each other after that. Last week, I bumped into her at a shopping mall. I was with my girlfriend and she was with a guy too, but I don’t know if he was her boyfriend. We were in the same store and happened to cross paths. We smiled at each other, but didn’t talk. Now, just seeing her brought back so many memories. I have never had the same emotional connection I had with her and I can’t stop thinking about her. I don’t know if it’s love or just nostalgia, but I can’t get her out of my head. I have been having constant fights with my current girlfriend because she can sense that something is amiss. Please help.
— Abhinav

Illustrastion/Uday Mohite

Dear Abhinav,
Bumping into an ex can get very awkward, but the fact that you can’t stop thinking about her even after just seeing her means that you still have feelings for her. If you were in love with your current girlfriend, meeting your ex flame would have meant nothing to you. So, I feel you should first understand that yourself. Then, talk to your present girlfriend about your feelings because you do owe an explanation to her. Even if both of you decide to take a break or call it off, it will only be for the better. Now, as far as your ex-girlfriend is concerned, try and figure out if she also has feelings for you. There is no point going after her if she is not on the same page as you. Best of luck!

Dear Diana,
I have been with this girl for over three years now. Things are going fine, except the fact that her sister influences her a lot. She is older to my girlfriend and ever since their mother passed away when they were young, her elder sister has been a mother figure to her. I detest her sister as she keeps telling her stuff about me. According to my girlfriend, she is cautioning her, but I feel this is interference. Last week, she told her that she had seen me with a girl on the seafront. This was wrong information as I was out with some relatives who had come down from Ranchi and were keen to visit the beach. Whatever her sister tells her, she blindly believes. How do I tell her not to believe every word she tells her? My girlfriend is 24, but can't think for herself.
— Jason

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Jason,
Your girlfriend considers her elder sister as a mother figure. As her mom passed away when she was young, her sister has taken care of her. At the same time, now that she is 24, it is time she had a mind of her own. Her sister is being extra protective of her and that is understandable. If you are serious about her and are planning a future together, you need to sit down and talk to both of them. Tell them exactly how you feel. It is better to be honest and forthright. Perhaps your girl is not even realising how she is allowing herself to be influenced by her elder sister. She feels this is the done thing. At the same time, do not antagonise the sister or things might work against you and ruin your love life.

Dear Diana,
My friend and I have the hots for the same girl. I did not know earlier that he was also interested in her. He would keep showering her with praises, but I used to think it was because she was my girl. My pal is now proving to be an obstacle in my love life. He has been telling common friends that he introduced me to her and that I stole her from him. This is a lie as he barely knew her when he introduced her to me. In fact, he used to tell me that she was not his type of girl. The problem is that I don't know how to tell him. The girl is aware that he likes her, but she tells me that she cares for me. I don't even like the idea of him talking to her now. At the same time, my girl refuses to stop talking to him. I have told her to stop communicating with him, but she is in no mood to listen.
— Mohit

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Mohit,
First of all your girl is loving the attention you are showering on him as well as your buddy. Why is she encouraging him if she is not interested in him? She is to blame for your state of affairs. You could not muster enough courage to tell him that you liked the girl, so he went ahead showering his affections on her. So you can't blame your buddy. If the girl is interested in you, she would not be extra friendly with this guy too. You need to talk things out with your girl and tell her how you feel. If she does not make amends, then you need to do a rethink. Your girl will then have to choose between you and your friend. If she does not, it is time to get over this girl.

Dear Diana,
I have been with this guy for six months. I am not yet sure if he is the right guy for me. He keeps springing surprises and splurges me with gifts. He seems to have already made up his mind that I am the girl for him. I don't know why I am not yet convinced about him. At the same time, the way he is going about, I don't know how to tell him to go slow. I do not want to break his heart. He thinks I also like him and that we are made for each other. My guy gets carried away too fast. He is all out to prove that he cares for me. Often, I find this irritating. How do I tell him to go slow? I dread to think that if I feel he is not the guy for me, he will be devastated. It is not that I an leading him on. He is going too fast, too soon. On the other hand, I prefer to be cautious and slow in my approach.
— Naina

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Naina,
Your guy has made up his mind and you also need to take a decision soon. If you want time, you need to tell him clearly. It appears that this man is busy planning a future with you, while you do not even know if he will exist in your scheme of things. He is impulsive and a happy-go-lucky individual while you want to be safe, rather than be sorry. You may not be leading him on, but at least you can tell him to go slow. For starters, stop him when he goes on an overdrive buying gifts for you. This is his way of making you happy and you seem to be enjoying it. At the same time, if you two sit down and talk things out, he will have a clear picture of what is going on in your mind. It is time you were honest and forthright with him as he is with you.

Dear Diana,
For over two weeks, I have been nursing a broken heart. My guy had kept me in the dark about the other woman in his life. He was two-timing me and I had no clue. A friend would often see him with a girl riding pillion on his bike late nights. She would often tell me, but I paid no heed. I always felt it could be one of his female pals he was dropping home or one of his office colleagues. I did not think anything was amiss till he suddenly told me that he was moving on. I was taken aback. I did not even think for even a moment what was going on his head. We were together for two years, so it has been difficult for me. I was taken for a ride by him. He cheated on me and I believed the lies that he told me. I do not know what to do. He does not respond to my calls or messages, but I still pine for him.
— Megha

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Megha,
Why are you still pining for him when he dumped you and lied to you? This man is not worthy of your love. He kept you in the dark about the other woman in his life. He was two-timing you. It is clear that he was not interested in you from the beginning. You seem to be a stop-gap agreement and the day he was bored of you, he dumped you. Move on in life and next time be wary. Your friend would keep telling you about his waywardness, but you did not pay attention to her. If you had questioned him at that time, things could have been different. Get going in your life. Do not pine for him. Remember he dumped you, so why even care for this man?

Dear Diana,
I have been with this girl for over a year now. She's sweet and caring. For the last three months, however, she has developed anger management issues. She throws a fit for the most smallest and silliest reasons. The other day we were walking on the road and I happened to cross the road before she could. She was annoyed and vent her fury. Earlier, I thought I would spring a surprise and landed at her place with a bunch of flowers. But I had to face the onslaught as she threw the bouquet at me for landing at her door unannounced. I do not know what to do. She suddenly flares up and I do not know how to tackle it. It is becoming a source of embarrassment for me to be seen with her in public. Should I dump her? At the same time, when she is good, she is very good. But when she is bad, she is very bad. I am in a fix.
— Suresh

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Suresh,
Have you sat down and spoken your mind out to her? If not, you should because she may be unaware of the misery she is inflicting on you. You need to clearly tell her how you are afraid to step out with her in public as you do not know how she will behave and cause a spectacle in front of everyone. Also, you state that of late she has been having anger management issues. What has caused this sudden outburst? There must be some reason or person who triggered this sudden change of behaviour. When she is in her sweet, quiet moods, tell her how she behaves. What if you behaved in such a manner? She would not take any nonsense from you. If she does not see sense, then you need to take a decision and perhaps go your way.ndle her temper tantrums...'

Dear Diana,
I work in a multinational company and I have to put in long hours at work. My wife chose to quit her job after our wedding since she thought one of us needs to take care of the house. However, I am constantly appalled at the way she keeps the house. It is always messy and sometimes downright dirty when I enter the home after a long day at work. I tried talking to her about the cleanliness and hygiene part, but she snaps back at me saying she doesn’t get enough time. But I see her lazing all the time. What do I do? Please help.
— Nishant Khare

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Nishant,
Different people have different ideas about cleanliness and hygiene. Perhaps because of the way they have been brought up. You should have had a clear communication with your wife about her duties before marriage. Even now you can sit her down and explain to her about what you expect from her. Since you work hard to make sure that her financial needs are met, it is only fair that you expect her to work enough to keep you happy at home.

If she resists, how about hiring a maid to do the cleaning work? Not every woman can be expected to be house proud and take pride in sweeping and swabbing. Your wife might be having other hobbies. If hiring a maid is an extra financial burden you can put down certain basic rules gently to your wife. If she loves you enough, she is bound to bend a little.

Dear Diana,
My girlfriend has started behaving strange. She has been making several demands which I cannot fulfill. She wants me to buy a house and a car before she commits. I know for sure that she doesn’t care for me like she used to before. I often ask her if it is time to let her go. We have been together for four years. But since the past six months, she seems to have lost interest in me. Or perhaps she is bored of me. Sometimes I wonder if there is someone else on the scene. We have been having constant squabbles. We are no longer on the same page. I have tried to talk to her, but she refuses to listen. I think it is time to let her go. At the same time, she is clinging on and making things difficult for me. What should I do? After all these years, it will be difficult for me. I am already feeling sad and dejected.
— Neerav

Illustration/ Uday Mohite

Dear Neerav,
Your girlfriend is dropping hints, but at the same time is not going her way. You cannot force her to love you. Give yourself a little time to ponder before telling her that it is better that you went your way. Your relationship has reached a plateau. If you do not want to cut off ties with her, take a break in the relationship. You will feel your life is falling apart, but time will heal all wounds. Do not look back, but before that you need to take a decision. If you do decide to let her be in your life, then she will continue with her highhandedness. You need to gain back your self-esteem and find someone who will reciprocate your love. You have given your all to the relationship, but she has not. So why stick around such a girl?

Dear Diana,
I had lied to my mother that I was going overnight with my pals to Lonavla. The fact was that I was spending time with my girlfriend at a common pal's house whose flat is vacant. The next day while unpacking my bag, my mother found my girlfriend's T-shirt in the bag. She wondered how a female pair of clothing was among my clothes. It was a girlie T-shirt and not one of those unisex T-shirts which I could pass off as one of my friends. I then cooked up a story saying that one of my pal's girlfriends had tagged along. But she still wondered how it reached my bag. The fact was that my girlfriend was carrying a lot of stuff and while packing, it slipped in with a large bath towel. I had just stuffed my towel in the bag and did not realise that her top went in with it. I told my mom to discard it, but she has washed it and kept it in my cupboard. I am embarrassed and do not know what to say. My mother has not broached the subject again. What should I do? I feel guilty. Should I tell her the truth?
— Nayan

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Nayan,
First, learn to handle your own stuff — you are making your mom do things for you still! Instead of stuffing your bag with bundles of clothes, if you had neatly folded the clothes and kept it, this problem would not have arisen. Also, when you were back home, you dumped your bag and made your mother do the unpacking. It is time you learn to do your own stuff. You seem to have your mother doing all your work. If you had unpacked your bag and separated the clothes that needed to be washed, you would have found your girlfriend's top rolled in the towel. So you alone are to blame for the predicament that you find yourself in. If you are riddled with guilt, tell your mom the truth who by now already knows what you are trying to hide.

Dear Diana,
I have fallen in love with my best friend's wife. They got married recently. I was attracted to her the day I saw her, just before their wedding. I am single. When I am around with her, I try my best to contain my feelings for her, but I cannot. I keep dropping in at their home on some pretext or the other. I have never had such feelings for any other girl. My buddy is planning to go on a holiday to Goa. A lot of our common pals are also going, so he has also told me to come along. I am scared that I do not do something stupid and make things embarrassing for her. I find my feelings for her getting stronger day-by-day. I keep fantasising about her. She calls me bhaiyya which I detest. At the same time, I would never do anything that would destroy my friendship with my buddy. What do I do? Should I just break my friendship with him?
– Amar

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Amar,
You are well aware that you are playing with fire. She is your buddy's wife, so if you are thinking of a future with her, be ready to get scorched. Remember you are ruining your life, her life, as well as your buddy's life. You may be attracted to her, but you will have to contain your feelings for her. Have you ever wondered how your pal will react? How will you face your buddy when he realises what is on in your mind? A relationship with your pal's wife will only ruin your life. You seem to have let yourself go. It is easy to say that you are attracted to her, but you need to draw the line. She calls you bhaiyya, so she has no clue what is going on. It will come as a shock to her when she realises that you are lusting for her. Banish any such thoughts if you do not want to lose your friend. If you are finding it difficult, limit your interactions with his wife for a while. Also, get going with your life and find someone else.

Dear Diana,
My guy has this peculiar habit of poking fun at me. Whatever I do, he has a problem. He does not like the way I dress, the way I eat and the way I talk. Recently, I enrolled in a gym and he finds it amusing. He has been asking me daily how many inches I have lost. He has been sarcastic and instead of goading me to lose weight and motivate me, he is going on a different tangent. I try hard to please him, but he always takes offence. We have been together for eight years. He says he is afraid to commit, so even though we are in our early 30s, a wedding is not on the horizon for now. I usually do not react to whatever he says, so after a while he has to keep quiet. When we are with friends, he behaves loving and caring, but when we are alone, he shows his true colours. I am fed up of him and his recent behaviour has been obnoxious. He even lands up at the gym to watch me work out and questions the instructor whether I am serious about it. What should I do?
— Sandy

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Sandy,
Why are you still sticking around with a guy who leaves no opportunity to demean you? Why have you been taking all his nonsense all these years? You seem to have developed low self-esteem because of this man. He needs to accept you, the way you are – just the way you have accepted him. He does not ridicule you in front of his pals because they will chide him. He knows that you are submissive and meek, so he can get away by telling you anything. It is time you stopped being the doormat. More importantly, you need to sit down and take a decision. Do you want to be with a man who ridicules you or respects you? The choice is yours. If you want to stick around, stop complaining. But if you want a man who respects you, walk out on him.

Dear Diana,
I am 24 and have just started working in a trading firm. When I was studying for my postgraduation, I fell for a guy in my class. I have been in touch with him, even though it is difficult to meet now due to our busy schedule at work. We hang out together rarely and mostly chat online. I thought he was the guy for me, but I was mistaken. To begin with, I feel he is not my kind. I have met another guy at work who I feel is more my kind. I feel more comfortable with him than with my guy. I think I fell for the wrong type of guy. My office colleague is everything I want in a guy while my boyfriend is everything I do not want. He keeps chiding me for not being technology savvy. I admit I take a while to learn, but he loses patience quickly. While my colleague is patient and makes me understand things calmly. I am confused between the two. I have heard that several women fall for the wrong type of guy and then get stuck as there is no way out. What do I do? I do not want to stick around with this guy, but I do not know how to tell him.
— Jasmine

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Jasmine,
You are attracted to this guy at your work place, but you are unsure about his feelings for you. He is nice and caring because he is a colleague. You are new at work, so he is just being nice. At the same time, now suddenly you realise your boyfriend is not for you. This dilemma is because you are comparing both the guys. Stop doing this and you will be in a better place. You may have read about people falling for the wrong type of guys, but in your case it is a self-created problem. The moment you stop your comparison notes about your office colleague and your guy, you might just feel he is your type. So give your guy a chance before planning your next move.

Dear Diana,
I have been married for two years. My husband is proving to be a good-for-nothing. He joined a gym recently, but barely went for a week. He is a couch potato and does not help me with household chores. As a result, he is gaining weight and suffering from diabetes. He also switches jobs every few months due to which we are always low on funds. In the first year of marriage, he was okay, but now he has become a pain. He cribs about everything. I work as a teacher and give tuitions to supplement the income. I don’t think anyone can change him. He is simply atrocious and always finds faults in others. His family, who is based in Goa, have also given up on him. I feel like leaving him, but then at times he is loving and caring making me wonder if I am doing the right thing. I am confused and do not know what to do? Should I give him an ultimatum?
— Mohini

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Mohini,
You are living with a man who has scant respect for you. If he cared for you, he would not behave in such an atrocious manner. This man certainly needs to be shaken up. He seems to be living in his own world and feels that he can get away with everything. You need to give him an ultimatum. If he does not change — or at least show signs of changing, there is no point sticking around. He may be sweet and caring, but that is only for a while. He has made life a living hell for you. You need to walk out on him. For a while, go stay with a friend or your folks. Hopefully, common sense will prevail and he will shape up. If he does not, you are happier and better without him.

Dear Diana,
My girlfriend has been behaving strange lately. There is a 12-year age difference between us. At times, I feel she is childish. She sometimes tells me I'm the one for her, but then she ignores me and, at times, I am like a father-figure to her. In front of my pals, she behaves like a kid and they have started making fun of me. Things were not like this earlier. I liked her as she was mature and far beyond her age of 23. I am 35 and my family is putting pressure on me to wed. But looking at her recent weird acts, I am having second thoughts about marriage. She tells me that she does not mind marrying me for now. I find it strange. Does this mean that when she finds someone else, she will dump me? Her pals tell her I am too old and that she should be with someone in her age group. Things are getting more weird as now she is telling me that we should take a break in our relationship. I don't know what she will do next. Am I better off without her?
— Neel

Dear Neel,
It could be that she doesn't like you and does not want to say it clearly. She is going on this weird trip thinking that you will go your way. You can't be in a relationship with a girl who is all muddled up. Initially, you say, things were fine despite the age difference. This means either she has been influenced by her pals or there is someone else on the scene. Taking a break means that you two might not get back together. Sit down with her and tell her honestly what you feel about the situation. If she continues with her weird act, you need to take a decision. Then you are better off without this woman who keeps changing her stance.

Dear Diana,
My boyfriend and I stay in the same residential complex. We have been neighbours for over a decade. Our friendship blossomed into love and we have been going steady for the last three years. Four months ago, a new family moved into the building. They have a beautiful and young daughter who wants to be a model. All the building guys have taken a fancy to her, including my guy. I detest when he talks about her. He keeps saying how beautiful she is. This is causing a rift between us. I feel he is falling for this other woman. Last week, we had a showdown and he told me that I was an insecure woman. I cannot take the constant attention he showers on her. What do I do? He has already told another resident of the building to introduce her to him. I am sure that he wants to have an affair with her. How do I stop him from going overboard with this new girl?
— Vedika

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Vedika,
He is right in calling you an insecure woman. You have known him for years and the mere presence of a new girl in the neighbourhood is giving you sleepless nights — you need to learn to trust him. This new girl is young and pretty and all the guys in the housing complex have taken a fancy to her. You need to understand that he is not having an affair with her, he is just trying to get her attention like the rest of the guys in the building. He does not even know her, so how can he have an affair with her? She might have a guy on her scene. You do not know if she is single or committed. So stop spinning an imaginary web where you see her as a threat to your love life. You need to take a chill pill.

Dear Diana,
I was in a relationship with this girl over a decade ago. We went our ways, but there was no single reason what caused a rift between us. We did not know where we were heading. There was no possibility of a future together as both of us were married. So it was a case of an extramarital affair for the two of us. After about six months, she got cold feet and stopped meeting me. In a fit of anger, I told her to not talk to me. We used to work at the same place. I then decided to switch jobs. After that she did not try to get in touch with me nor did I contact her. It has been 11 years that there has been no communication between us. My problem is that I think of her every single day. There is not a day that I do not wonder what she is up to. At many times, I feel like getting in touch with her, but then refrain. I do not want to cause an upheaval in her life, but how do I get her out of my head?
— Rishabh

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Rishabh,
It has been over a decade that you two called it quits. Time is the greatest healer, but you still seem obsessed with her. The reason being that you did not seek closure. If you had, perhaps you would not pine for her still. You state that you two just drifted apart and you cannot pinpoint a reason. If only you two had sat down and ascertained the reason, things would have been clearer on your front. There is no point getting in touch with her. Refrain from trying to communicate with her even in the weakest moments. Also, most importantly, the two of you are married, so you will be causing havoc in the lives of your respective partners as well. Let her live her life while you need to move on. You are living in the past, it is time you learn to live in the present. This girl is your past, so let her remain there.

Dear Diana,
I have been going around with this guy for the last five months. As I am quite a chirpy person, I have lots to tell him. I keep jabbering about everything and anything. He has been giving me a patient hearing. But to my dismay, I have now realised that he has been telling his friends that I talk too much. He tells them that he needs to stuff cotton wool in his ears for peace and tranquility. Some common pals have been telling me that what he is doing is wrong. I find this behaviour of his irritating. Why should he be talking about my inadequacies? I may be a chatterbox, but if he has a problem, he needs to tell me, and not others. I find it strange that he listens to whatever I say and then goes around telling tales behind my back.
— Shreela

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Shreela,
This guy is not telling you anything, but revealing his discomfort to his pals. This is strange, if you two are in a relationship and are serious about each other. It is wrong of him to go around blurting out whatever you tell him to common pals. You have every right to be upset with him. You may be of a cheerful disposition, but he cannot go around talking about your inadequacies to friends. He is ridiculing you and having a hearty laugh with his gang of pals. If you are talking about your personal life, you need to be cautious. You never know what he has been telling others and might blurt out personal details too. At the same time, you need to tell him to refrain from doing it. You need to explain to him that you are telling him stuff in confidence. A relationship is based on trust. If he refuses to change, it is better you go your way.

Dear Diana,
I am 26 and plan to get married to this guy I have known for the last three years. His parents, however, detest me. They are aware that we intend to tie the knot, but they still feel their son will not go against their wishes. His family feels I am not suitable for him. They refuse to explain why. They feel I am not their type — whatever it means. Six months ago, we had planned on a Arya Samaj wedding, but he backed out at the last minute. I then told him we should have a court marriage. He said if he were to marry, he did not want to do anything on the sly. With every passing day, I find his behaviour changing. He is also behaving strange. I think he doesn’t love me anymore. What should I do?
— Sancheeti

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Sancheeti,
It appears that this man is not interested in marriage. If he was, he would not dilly-dally about committing to you. He might be in a relationship with you, but is he really serious about you? It seems like he does not want to infuriate his family. His backing out at the last minute is a clear sign that he will bow to his family’s wishes at the end. You will be the one nursing a broken heart as his folks will fix his marriage somewhere else. He needs to make it clear if he is willing to go against the wishes of his family. If his behaviour towards you has changed lately, it’s a clear sign that things are amiss. You can’t trust this man, so be wary and make it clear to him. He needs to tell you where you stand in his list of priorities.

Dear Diana,
I have been with this girl for almost a year. Things are going fine between us except that she does not get along with my sister. She just did not gel with her from day one. I thought things would improve over time, but things are going downhill between them. She is my elder sister and has been a mother figure to me ever since our mother passed away when we were young. How do I make her resolve her differences with my sister? I hold my sister in high regards, so it is important that she gives us our blessings. We plan to get married next year. I have been trying to make them sit down and resolve their differences, but it is proving to be tough for me. Last week, I took them to a mall, but they ended up fighting with each other. I think it is an ego issue between them.
– Yuvi

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Yuvi,
You are caught between these two women and it is difficult to please one as then you are offending the other. You say it is an ego issue, so you need to settle their differences with great tact. Listen to what each of them has to say individually and then resolve their differences. At the same time, these two women need to realise that both of them are important to you. There is no question of offending any one of them. You three need to sit down with an open mind and deliberate on what are the issues that are causing heartburn. You say the two women just did not click from day one. In such a scenario, it is then important to live and let live. If the two are constantly going to be at loggerheads, a reconciliation will be impossible. In such a scenario, you will need to give them space while you be the common factor.

Dear Diana,
My wife and I have been married for four years now. Both of us have had very different upbringings. While I have been living away from my parents for over ten years, my wife has always lived with her parents. Although she is a free-thinking and independent woman, I feel that she is overly dependent on her parents. No matter what issues she faces, her parents are the first ones to know. I do not have a problem with her discussing her issues with them, the issue I have is that she should be able to filter what she discusses with them and draw a line. Just the other day, she was telling them about a fight we had and how to resolve it. Do they need to know everything? Sometimes I feel that I am overreacting and should accept her for what she is but then again, why do her parents need to know everything that's going on in our lives? I have tried talking to her but she thinks that I am overthinking. What do I do? Please help.
– Rakesh

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Rakesh,
Your situation is slightly tricky but with a little effort you can resolve the issue. First, you need to understand that everyone shares a different kind of rapport with their parents. May be you are okay not calling yours often since you are used to that kind of set up but just like your wife there are several others for whom parents come first no matter what the situation is and they need to discuss everything with them. I suggest you sit down and talk to her about what you expect from her. Politely tell that that you don't mind her talking to her parents often but she needs to know the boundaries. Also, converse often because may be it's the lack of communication that makes her vent to her parents in the first place.

Dear Diana,
I met this doctor when I was hospitalised. She took care of me and gave me unconditional attention during my stay there. We exchanged our numbers and she promised to keep in touch. After getting discharged from the hospital, she regularly sent me good morning messages. In fact, the first time she came home, we indulged in some physical romance. However, she doesn't communicate much and is always mum when I tell her that I want to take the relationship ahead. I don't know what to do.
– Confused patient

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Confused patient,
It's obvious there is some chemistry between the two of you. However, seeing how she keeps ignoring you advances for a relationship, it only suggests that she isn't interested in one. Don't read too much into her text messages, it could be bulk message that she sends to everyone on her list. As for getting physical with you, well may be that all she wanted from the short relationship. If you are still curious and confused about what to do, then talk and express your desire to take the relationship forward. Tell her that you are serious about her. Chances are that you will never hear from her again or she may respond to your gesture and express her true feelings. This could either be positive or negative, so don't be too heart broken if she tells you that she is just not that into you. Take it in your stride, respect her decision and move on. May be the next time you can check out the patient next to you in stead of the doctor or nurse in charge. Statutory warning: There is no medication prescribed for broken hearts, so don't dwell much on it and look for someone who feels the same way about things the way you do.

Dear Diana,
I was friendly with this guy almost a decade ago. We got along well — I could talk to him for hours. There was never any shortage of subjects and I always felt time just flew when I was with him. He was not the outgoing type, but in my presence he opened up. He told me that he was at peace whenever he was with me. We never spoke about the future or where we were heading to. We just talked and talked about everything and anything. From the most routine of stuff to national headlines to religious debates. It was as if we were destined to meet and to talk. I used to always feel I would meet this one guy who would be special. It was him. Our friendship, however, lasted barely a year. I wanted him to be my best buddy, perhaps my only buddy, but he wanted more. He wanted a physical relationship. That's when the problem arose. I had to tell him whether I 'liked' him or 'loved' him. In a fit of anger, he stopped talking to me. I let him be and after that we never spoke again. But I still pine for him after all these years.
— Neesha

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Neesha,
You were genuine in your friendship with him, but this guy wanted more. He was only interested in a physical relation which you were not ready for — or perhaps needed more time to commit yourself to him. If he really cared for you and loved you, he would not have dumped you. It is clear that he did not respect your feelings. You had clearly told him what was on your mind, still he was hellbent on doing what he wanted to. You are better off without this guy — you need someone who respects you. As you got so involved with him, you are still pining for him. He did not give you a chance to seek closure as he just walked off. You are better off without this foolish guy. Over time, you will forget him, so stop thinking about him.

Dear Diana,
I recently changed jobs and on my first day in the new office, I met this wonderful woman. She proved to be of great help to me. She made me feel comfortable and we got along well. She is a workaholic and an ambitious person. We often sit in office late as she is eager to finish off the paperwork. As we are part of a legal team, there is a lot of paperwork that needs to be done. I was attracted to her the moment I saw her, but now I am in love with her. I do not know how to tell her that I care for her. I have been dropping hints, but she is not reciprocating. The other day we were in the office till 10 pm and I suggested that we catch a bite. But she said no as it would get too late. I do not know if she is playing hard to get. How do I get to know what is on her mind?
– Rehan

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Rehan,
First, you need to find out if there is anyone on her scene. Only then can you think of planning a future with her. There may be someone special in her life, so that could be the reason, she is not reacting. Or perhaps, she is so engrossed in work that she has no time to romance. It could also be that she just refuses to react. She may have her own reasons, so meanwhile you can continue with dropping hints. You are still relatively new in the organisation, so do not mess up things. It will have an impact on your personal as well as professional life. For now, just go with the flow, and only after it is clear that there is no one on her scene, make the move. She also may not want to rush into a relationship, so is taking time. For now, be patient.

Dear Diana,
I was friendly with this girl for over three years. I met her through common friends and we hit it off well. We started hanging out together and I was extremely comfortable in her company. We would talk for hours and even spoke of a future together. Things were fine till last week, when she dropped a bomb. I received a text message from her telling me that it is all over. I was shocked. I called her umpteen times, but she refused to answer the phone. I sent her hundreds of text messages, but there has been no reply. Common friends tell me that she does not want to see my face. I want to know what wrong did I do her? Why could she have not told me about it? I did not find anything amiss in recent days that could have led her to take such a drastic decision. With no answers, I am a nervous wreck. I keep reading her SMS all day. I am heartbroken and unable to recover from the shock. What do I do?
– Monty

Illustration/ Uday Mohite

Dear Monty,
After being with you all this while, the girl certainly owed you an explanation. She severed ties with you via a text message. This is not done. The least she could have done is to drop hints so that you were prepared for what was coming. You say there were no tell-tale signs. It could be that you were so blinded in your love and trust for her. Or it could be that there was someone else and she hid the truth from you. She was perhaps two-timing you or this girl was plain bored of you. Whatever the cause, she needed to tell you. It will be difficult for you, but this girl does not care for you, so why grieve for the broken relationship? Let her be and time will heal your wounds. Do not keep asking your common friends to find a reason as this will cause more chaos. Next time be wary before you commit to someone.

I am 19 years old and have been dating someone for 2 years now. We love each other very much but there is one thing I don’t like about him, which disturbs me a lot. He thinks I am fat, which is not right. I agree I don’t have a flat tummy, which is what he wants, but I am not fat. We have heated arguments about this. He also thinks crop tops don’t suit me. I have started dieting and going to the gym, working hard on my body even though my own parents don’t think it necessary. He still taunts me when he sees a girl with a perfect body, and this hurts me a lot. He should be with me and support me, but taunts me instead. I have spoken to him, but it doesn't seem to work. Please help. I can’t take more taunts.

Your boyfriend sounds like a moron, to be honest. I understand that you love him, but I can’t figure out why his idea of what you should look like and what you should wear should be accepted as a norm by you. It’s your life, your body and your decision to wear what you feel like. If you decide to accept his bizarre demands, you are setting a precedent for what the future of your relationship will be like. It’s not okay for someone to tell you how you should look. It’s not okay for someone to comment on what you wear. The only people who do that are ministers in our country, because they don’t really know better and because most of them haven’t been to school. Your love for your boyfriend should never be more than your love for yourself. If he doesn’t get that, he’s not worth being with. The sooner you understand that, the better your life will be, and the higher your chances of finding happiness with someone who accepts you unconditionally at some point in your future.

Sonam Kapoor in a bulky sweater over a dainty dress by Prabal Gurung. Pic/AFP

Style book
* Don't pick a jumper that is too thick as it might make you look bulky and uncool.
* Embrace anti-fit. It goes with all body types. Too tight a sweater dress and you might look like Kim Kardashian from her non-fashionista years.
* Belt a sweater dress if you want to look sleek but skip if you are top heavy.

Pick a pleated skirt (metallic for your evening out) to pair with a long or a short jumper, at seen on Christian Dior's show

* Pair a cropped jumper with wide-legged pants that are cut above the ankle. You can even wear cropped jeans and pair them with embellished flip flops or pool slides for a relaxed day look.
* Contrast is the key — wear an oversized sweater over a pleated or a lace skirt. You can also wear it over a dainty dress.
* For your evening out, wear a metallic or sparkly sweater with a pair of strappy heels. If the temperature drops, add a pair of colourful stockings or above-the-knee preppy socks.

Take a cue from Tommy Hilfiger and wear a glittery jumper as a dress, with stockings or long socks. Pic/Getty images

* To go from baggy to sexy, add a lace peek-out bralet.
* A sweater layered over a buttoned down shirt is a classic pairing; take it to the next level by wearing it over a shirt dress instead. You can wear it with stockings or even ankle length boots. Add a sling bag or a neckpiece to make the look bohemian.
* Wear a chunky neckpiece over a solid coloured jumper and jeans for a hip day look.
Inputs by stylists Shaleena Nathani and Neha Tham

Wedding always brings a smile on your face and why not? After all, it also gives you a chance to shop till you drop. But have you ever realised that long hours of makeup, excessive consumption of oily food and sweets and lack of sleep can result in dull, parched skin that is easily acne prone and pigmented? So, this wedding season, be a little smart, say experts. Sangeeta Velaskar, Vice President and Head, Medical Services and R&D, Kaya Limited gives you some easy tips to put your beauty anxieties to rest:

1. Besides opting for a skin detox or a facial, it is crucial to take care of your skin as we embark on the winter season. Therefore, limit the use of makeup products as much as possible and opt for a clean, minimalistic look

2. Incorporate the basic regime of cleansing, toning and moisturizing

3. Once or twice a week, use a gentle exfoliator and massage your face in a slow, circular motion to ensure good blood circulation and remove dead skin cells

4. Moisturize your skin at all times and even when you go out, do not forget to apply sunscreen

5. If possible, incorporate a night time regimen that includes Vitamin C to renew face cells and restore skin elasticity

7. Use products that have ingredients such as marine extracts, tea tree oil and mulberry extracts. They are a rich source of proteins and a powerhouse of nutrients that reverse the effects of ageing

8. A good facial is of course, the perfect way to detox, restore and rejuvenate your skin whether you're tired, run-down, stressed or in need of a quick fix

9. It is rightly said, that you are what you eat so consume lots of fruits, nuts and sprouts in your diet. Drink enough water to keep the body hydrated and include fruits and vegetables that have high water content such as watermelons, cucumbers, strawberries and peaches. If possible, drink at least one glass of vegetable juice to increase the fiber intake

Also, Blatrix Marion, Eau Thermale Avène Sensitive Skin Expert, lists some easy detox tips to give a fresh start to your skin:

1. While cleansing should be a daily habit, you should prefer certain products when undertaking a skin detox: choose a soap-less and gentle formula.

2. Your skin needs a deep, exfoliating clean, but be very careful to be gentle! Choose a 3-in-1 mask-scrub is a clarifying clay that turns into a scrub to deeply cleanse and exfoliate the skin leaving the complexion fresh and matte.

3. Once a week indulge in a home spa ritual. Choose a quiet evening and get into the mood with nice soothing music and a cup of nettle tea. Do easy home masks with thermal spring water. It guarantees continuous and prolonged contact of water with skin, thus enabling skin to enjoy the water's soothing and anti-irritating properties more rapidly and recover instant comfort and well being.

4. Use cotton wool pads soaked with thermal spring water placed gently over the eyes to prevent dryness from allergies or use of contact lenses

5. Use SPF based products to protect your skin from external aggressions

6. Always remember that ‘Less is More'. Your skin needing a detox means you should be using as less products as possible for some time. Also prefer products with gentle and minimum number of ingredients

Visible panty lines and camel toes are big fashion faux pas and can ruin even the most perfect outfit. Do not buy tight underwear, and hide bulging belly fat with high waist panties, suggest experts.

Smita Murarka, Head - Marketing and E-commerce at MAS Brands India (amanté and ULTIMO), and Neha Kant, Founder of Clovia, have listed a few ideas:

• Aim to wear underwear that fits perfectly. A tight underwear leads to lines and discomfort whereas a loose underwear easily bunches up inside one's clothes, showing wrinkles and bumps.

• Underwear should be selected depending on the outfit being worn. Thongs are a good option when you are wearing tight clothing, boyshorts provide full coverage, hipsters offer modest coverage at the hip area, full briefs cover your abdomen area and bikinis are an all-time favourite giving a feminine look.

• To avoid visible panty lines, opt for seamless panties, boyshorts or thongs.

• To hide bulging belly fat, opt for panties with a high waist or panties with broad waistband.

• Always wear nude or skin coloured panties under white or light bottoms.

• While wearing low waist jeans always wear a low waist or ultra low waist panty.

• Avoid camel toes with a very simple hack using panty liners. Place two panty liners on top of each other and adjust it over your panty.

• Fabric of the clothes plays an important role while selecting the right underwear. A smooth seamless panty is an apt choice while wearing dresses and flimsy light fabrics.

• Stay away from thongs when you are working out and stick to cotton panties. It is important to be aware of choosing the best kind of underwear for your health as to avoid UTI, yeast infection and other such problems.

Also watch

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Style book

The sheer dresses and skirt trend is still going strong and if you wish to go a little edgy, try a sheer skirt or trousers over a bodysuit or shorts like Balmain

In a world of oversharing, you can show off the stylish contents of your bag with clear pieces like Chanel’s. Pair a formal trouser suit with the playful bag or plastic shoes

Dia Mirza in an Amit Aggarwal dress made using recycled plastic

Wear clear heels (by Prabal Gurung) or clear-strapped footwear that will help make your legs look longer

Be the fun person in your workroom by carrying a clear briefcase. pic courtesy/ instagram. com/helmut lang

MIU MIU does girly chic with this edgy winter plastic coat over a paillete dress

Hula your way into the New Year or dance off daubed in glitter -- there are options galore for party goers here this New Year's Eve (NYE). With unlimited food and drinks, rousing electronic dance music (EDM) and DJs to celebrity singers, the eastern metropolis has upped its game in the party scene over the years.

Representational Pic

Revelry is not restricted to the British-era Park Street any more. Take for instance the Aloha Hawaii event at Hotel Hindustan International where a Hawaiian spread would accompany enthusiasts eager to have a go at the hula dance

The mood reflecting the technicolor coral reefs of Hawaii shifts to a more extravagant take on the festivities with a couple of places putting up gold-themed celebrations.

At JW Marriott, ride out into the New Year with a 'Golden Ticket to 2018' gala or get the glitter on at De Sovrani's glitter party, complete with golden hued props and glitter make up.

Marking 50 years, The Park, at its Rosewood banquet hall, will host the 'Black and Gold Affair' with a swinging live band and DJ to belt out the latest in international and Bollywood hits.

For a purely musical night out, rock out at the Hard Rock Cafe as DJs spin the wheel to make you groove over some mix of Bollywood to EDM and classics.

For a breath of fresh air and a 360 degree view of the city scape, hit one of the largest's rooftop New Year's party at Novotel Kolkata where you could dance your heart out with DJ Aziz under the stars.

At 330 feet at Ozora Highlife, one has the option of enjoying performances in a massive open air space.

At the historic Bow Barracks, hub of the Anglo-Indian community, one could experience the all-night dance amid a plethora of fruit cakes and home made wines.

A walk through the bedecked Park Street, engulfed in the wafting aroma of breads, buns and cakes, could round off the night for those yearning for the classic form of festivities.

Alexandre Vauthier Spring Summer 2018

Bella Hadid seen sporting the shades at public dos 

Actor Jennifer Aniston at an event in 1998 

Rihanna. Pics/Getty Images

Kangana Ranaut

Ginni Negi, 30 HR professional
"I am very sure they will not suit the shape of my face. I don't prefer tiny sunglasses nor do I like oversized ones. I actually find them funny. For me, the size and fit have to be just right."

Shreya Goenka, 29 brand and product consultant
"They don't serve a purpose, so why wear them? For me, sunglasses are first, a funct­ional thing, and then comes their glam quotient. If the des­ign does not protect the eyes, I will not wear them on a regu­lar basis. The tiny ones do look cool, but so do regular ones.

Pratiksha Phale, 21 student
"I will first see if they suit my face, and if they do, I will go for them. I think the '90s shades look cool. I don't mind experimenting, although usually, I don't go with very edgy frames."

Sakshi Shetty, 22 event manager
"I have seen a lot of bloggers wear these. But I wouldn't as I don't experiment much and prefer classics such as aviators. [The tinies] look cool, but Bella Hadid can pull off anything. Also, the slim frames don't protect your eyes."

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Deepika Padukone

We were first introduced to Suhani Parekh of Misho Designs last year, when we did a feature on the "cool gangs" that knew the best of where to eat, drink and soak in art, around the city. When we hung out with Parekh and her friends - curator Arshiya Lokhandwala and artistes Justin Ponmany and Prajakta Potnis - she seemed like someone to watch out for. One year later, we can't help, but be in awe of her steady rise.

Suhani Parekh flaunting one of her designs

If you are a social media buff, there is no way you have missed Misho Designs and all the people wearing it. Rihanna has worn it and so has Kim Kardashian. Back home, it's Deepika Padukone, Masaba Gupta and Aishwarya Rai. "I was a sculptor, so I hadn't ever thought of jewellery. I used to design some pieces for myself and then, as people saw me wearing them, they said, can you make us a pair. It's then that we just decided to sit down and make more," says Parekh, who studied to be a sculptor at Goldsmiths University in London.

It was winning a fashion magazine award for being a young designer of note that put Parekh firmly in the spotlight. "I think every young designer needs a platform that helps them put themselves out there. It was a turning point for me," the Shivaji Park resident tells us.

Misho's aesthetic, which Parekh has described as "wearable sculpture", is characterised by architectural forms and chic geometric shapes. She is inspired by Bauhaus ideology and Japanese minimalism, and names Misho after an ancient Japanese Bonsai technique, which means the process by which a seed turns into a Bonsai tree.

Parekh insists that being consistent, and staying true to one's design language has helped her brand. "I think you have to recognise where there is a gap in the market. We have lovely traditional jewellery, but how does one buy edgy pieces. I think Misho filled that void. And so, when we sent out the jewellery for fashion shoots or to a celebrity, who was on a promotion spree, they got chosen, and I am grateful for that."

It is through social media network, Instagram, that Parekh really connects with her audience. The designer, who has around 16k followers, says that it's about constantly innovating. "You can't keep doing the same thing, you need to keep pushing the envelope," she says. She also shares an important insight about the site. "Instagram likes people not products. There is a tricky balance between the two. So, what we at Misho do is, that we don't bombard people with the same kind of posts. We post around three to four times a week, and keep mixing it up. We are exposed to so many different kinds of images, and over-posting is a no-no." But, the most important lesson Parekh says is also about connecting and interacting with the audience. "I talk to people all the time, and respond to the comments. It's the best way to reach out directly."

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Ranbir Kapoor and Deepika Padukone

"We're still friends" is a common line one has heard several exes say. But how comfortably does a post-break-up relationship translate to working in the same office, where situations can lead to high-tension scenarios?

Actors and exes Ranbir Kapoor and Deepika Padukone surely seem to have cracked the code, as the duo has worked on two films post calling it quits, the 2013 hit Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani and Tamasha (2015). The actors will also walk the ramp for a charity fashion show for designer Manish Malhotra later this month. How did they get to this point?

"The biggest challenge in dealing with exes [or with anyone really] is that we don't leave the past in the past and allow it to affect our present and future. We start seeing people through a lens of our opinions and interpretations. When working with exes, it is important to have a heightened commitment to be mindful and be in the moment and not create conflicts with the ex - the source of which is very likely to be our past-based filters," says life coach Milind Jadhav.

Jadhav feels, that a simple, yet powerful, way of dealing with your ex is to set your work priorities and do just what works for you. But do men and women react to a situation such as this in different ways? "Men tend to be patronising and vindictive. Women, on the other hand, can either withdraw or go hostile," says Dr Harish Shetty, psychiatrist, Dr LH Hiranandani Hospital. Dr Shetty feels that there's no perfect closure to any relationship - something from the past always lingers. There's nothing like neutral emotions. And the most untoward moments are when you are alone for a long time at your workplace.

"Working with exes is a difficult situation to deal with. All offices have cultural activities, which involve dancing and drinking, and it is uncomfortable and risky to be together in such situations. Sometimes, these involve bringing along your current partners. Then there are birthday parties of colleagues and meeting common friends, or work-related travel. Work brings back past memories when you are doing similar tasks. Excessive withdrawal or excessive involvement can happen at a workspace without the person consciously doing it," says Dr Shetty. "Navigating uncomfortable conversations is purely a matter of how one 'listens' to one's ex. The best way is to do so without judgement, as if you do not know that person, as opposed to 'I know who s/he really is," sums up Jadhav.

Famous exes who work together
>> Actors Johnny Galecki and Kaley Cuoco of The Big Bang Theory, have dated in the past. Cuoco went on to marry (and divorce) someone else. The two still remain friends and a popular on-screen couple.
>> Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana, the founders of the couture giant Dolce & Gabbana, broke up in 2005 and continue to run the label together. "Everything is exactly the same. But no sex!" said Gabbana in an interview about their work relationship.

Case in point
"A couple broke up in college and ended up working for the same company. Everything was fine till they went for an office picnic where they had to dance. She called me up for advice and decided to refuse to dance. When they returned, he sent her a WhatsApp message for 'old times' sake'. She was tempted, but kept away. From then on, she knew exactly what to do. The key is to manage the initial trepidation. If you cross that phase, the resolve becomes stronger. You can also take the help of your current partner if they are supportive," says Dr Shetty.

Dos and don'ts
>> Your focus should only be your work.
>> Work in groups.
>> Don't move to your past. No personal chats, keep your conversations strictly related to work. Keep away from sharing nostalgic memories.
>> Socialise along with office groups to create a buffer between you.
>> Don't share old photographs.
>> Don't discuss your present life.
>> Don't wish on occasions beyond what is essential.
>> Don't praise the other's attire, looks and any attribute not related to work.
>> Avoid inviting each other to any other place, even for a casual conversation.
>> Don't attend a post-work coffee or drink alone. Don't stay on longer than the work demands.
>> Don't make any personal comments. If one person does, make it clear that you wish to stick to work-related talk.
>> Don't use your intimate details to make loose comments.

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Kylie Jenner. Pic/Santa Banta 

As far as versatility goes, there aren't many clothing items that can contest with a good denim jacket. From cowboys in the early 20th century to urban commuters and Hollywood stars, the denim jacket makes for a durable yet a timelessly fashionable companion for everyone.

And as far as denims go, Levi's has forged a cult like image among consumers. Being the pioneer of the modern age copper-riveted jeans, the German immigrant-Levi Strauss founded company has been in the business since 1853. One of the most timeless of all denim jackets is the Levi's Trucker Jacket, which has been an indispensible wardrobe essential for stars and fashion-heads alike for years.

Just look at Emily Ratajkowski's casual airport appearance, or Lily Aldridge's recent denim jacket-styled look, as recorded by People, the jacket has been like an eternal go-to for the glam girls, fit for any occasion. 'This is Us' star, Milo Ventimiglia rocked his trucker jacket with a chambray shirt and navy pants, totaling in a neat look, proving that the denim jacket isn't restricted to be rocked by just the women of Hollywood.

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The Story Re-Spun, Raymond's Khadi Project fashion show, was held on April 4 at its flagship store at Breach Candy

The guests gathered at Raymond's Breach Candy store earlier this month for The Story Re-Spun, a showing of the menswear brand's latest line, had one question on their minds - how will the corporate professional accustomed to crease-free workwear warm up to whimsical, organic khadi? But the team at India's oldest fabric retailer knew they had pressed the right button when the campaign around their just-launched Khadi initiative clocked 15 million views in 30 hours on their social media page.

Raymond has launched the collection in association with young designers Gaurav Khanijo, Anuj Bhutani, Ujjawal Dubey and Alan Alexander Kaleekal, and their choice of textile is the "fabric of the nation", which they call universal, and one that transcends age and social barriers. The brand has used its fabric technology expertise to lend khadi, drape and wash-and-wear qualities. The silhouettes and prints which comprise the collection of suits, tuxedos, bandhgalas, bomber jackets, hoodies, shirts and kurtas, are modern and approachable. To complete the look, on offer is a range of khadi accessories - ties, pocket squares, cuff links and shoes.

Varanasi-based textile developer and designer Hemang Agrawal's

"The design and technical teams from Raymond worked extensively with clusters of khadi weavers from across the country for over 12 months to give the fabric a whole new face and form," says Gaurav Mahajan, President-Apparel Business, Raymond. Style observers see Raymond's move as one that seeks to give sustainable fashion a nifty edge, a trait often compromised in the drive to produce ethical fashion, and promote indigenous crafts. Fashion entrepreneur and consultant Sabina Chopra says, in the absence of labels offering appealing sustainable designs at reasonable prices to the young buyer, Raymond's model could be one to ape. "Collaborations [between designers and fabric manufacturers] could be the way forward if we are to impact purchase," she thinks.

Summer 2018 collection reimagined Benarasi textiles to make minis and box-pleated dresses, and used Tanchoi and Katarwan weaving techniques to create the houndstooth pattern

While the world over, sustainable fashion champions fair trade, local techniques of production, and reuse and upcyling, in India, an ancient tradition of craft has moved focus to the revival of textiles. That it is currently also a political talking point, makes it complicated. "In India, we stress on sustainable fashion from an aesthetic point of view, motivated by the revival of textiles. There's too much of one thing, without regard for price point, the young customer demographic, fit or design," feels Delhi-based designer Arjun Saluja. He is currently occupied with creating a collection from upcycled cotton, with a focus on minimum fabric wastage. And so, the sustainable cause is a subtle story behind the collection, not its central identity.

After showing at LFW S/R 2018, The Good Loom showcased its summer collection of casual menswear and sarees, designed with a special focus on ethical production and getting the right fit at ARTISANS' gallery at Kala Ghoda last week

Hemang Agrawal, textile developer and designer from Varanasi, agrees. "Shoppers buy basis design and style. The ethical credentials of a label come later," he says. Living in a city that's at the heart of the ongoing revival of Benarasi weaves, he speaks of fly-by-night designers jumping in to claim to own the cause.

Agrawal decided it was time to rewrite the script; one that tested the sprightly, dressy competence of time-honoured Indian weaves. Un-Revive, his summer 2018 collection, included modern-day essentials such as minis Mary Quant-would approve, trench and box-pleated dresses, maxis, cropped pants and palazzos. He pinned his interest on the sustainability mast by working with master weavers from his hometown to create tartan checks, polka dots, houndstooth and geometric patterns using the Tanchoi and Katarwan techniques. "Why can't handlooms be young?" he says, explaining the thought behind using one of India's oldest textiles to create plucky, young designs.

Chopra wonders why sustainable clothes are devoid of colour or refined cut. A chunk of craft practitioners focusing solely on revival of textiles are taking for granted the design element of clothing. "Hence, the final tailored garment tends to be weak on cut, giving us tent-like, boring clothes…who decided colour is not cool?" she says. Veteran designer duo David Abraham and Rakesh Thakore of A&T push the boundaries when the former says, "Theoretically, you could do anything with craft, even design a bikini or hot pants. The trouble is, designers are not intervening into developing their own textiles. Ideally, they should."

A&T made a compelling case for ethics-meets-aesthetics with the recent #SadakSmart collection. Encouraged by DIY countercultural streetwear trend, the range looked at indigenous shapes, such as the salwar, kameez, saree and ghagra, and tipped them in favour of teasing everyday styles using updated versions of sequined Chanderi, aari embroidery, and floral patterns inspired by the great Indian chintz.

Not so long ago, anti-fit fashion found its moment internationally, and India, a land of drapes, was more than happy. The unstructured silhouette became an approved form of anti-fit, and handloom - one of the heroes of sustainable fashion - tagged along. Saluja points out that a change in design will take place only when we break the myth that hand-woven equals anti-fit. "The latter is about how you play with both, fabric and body - kiss it or turn it away from skin. Lend it form or leave it formless. Fabric development plus emphasis on silhouettes is key."

And so, good design is both the problem and the solution. Sustain, a 12-year-old apparel vertical of the Good Earth brand of luxury lifestyle, insists on being known as classically Indian. "We are not interested in being hip or cool. But we understand the value of offering modern clothing options that highlight India's incredible workmanship. It might be difficult to make khadi glamorous, so we've started working with Bhagalpuri silks for evening wear. Similarly, we've updated traditional embroideries by combining them with fresher colour ways," says Deepshikha Khanna, head of Sustain.

Rozana, a sub-brand of Sustain, positions itself as daily tonic for everyday wardrobe woes. Aimed at younger clients, it's a line of separates. Sassy shirtdresses, long and short kurtas, lehengas, kalidar kurtas and Hiba trousers are made in malkha cotton, khadi and muslin, priced between Rs 4,500 and Rs 22,000. Interestingly, timely interest by two of India's biggest fashion weeks has plucked the sustainable fashion lobbyists from their craft-based address to dazzling runways with dedicated show slots. The Autumn/Winter 2017 edition of Amazon India Fashion Week addressed the relevance of handlooms, while highlighting sustainable businesses with, The Handloom School. Supported by Good Earth, nine designers including Sanjay Garg, Neeru Kumar, Gaurav Jai Gupta, Rajesh Pratap Singh, Rohit Bal, Péro and Ekà worked with weavers and textiles designers under the watchful eye of textile revivalist Sally Holkar.

For the last seven years, Lakmé Fashion Week has dedicated a day towards the promotion of Indian crafts, recycling and re-purposing. "It started as a means to encourage dialogue on sustainable values. And with initiatives like #CraftisCool, we are working towards creating viable collections that appeal to high street sensibility," says Gautam Vazirani, fashion curator, IMG-Reliance, organisers of LFW.

This season, LFW collaborated with The Good Loom, an artisanal brand from GoCoop, (the first e-commerce store to win a national award for 'Marketing of Handlooms') to present a selection of smart, casual menswear and sarees, with a special focus on ethical production and getting the right fit. It was a sincere attempt at bridging the gap between how the country's Instagram generation interprets fashion and its duet with indigenous craftsmanship. "That sustainable fashion should be sexy, and not stop at mundane or homogeneous, is now our agenda. The millennials don't see themselves dressed in kaftans or anti-fit shapes," adds Vazirani. But he's up against a challenge. Designers often tell him of the 35+ consumer loving the anti-fit way. Saluja has an answer to that. "Let's not be blinded by the revival manifesto. Sixty per cent of India's population is under 35, and they are seeking stylish ready-to-wear options."

Challenge of handlooms: Colour forecast doesn't figure in our scheme
For 11-year-old label, Amrich, led by Delhi-based Amit Vijaya and Richard Pandav, instead of reinforcing a divide between ethical and non-ethical consumers, they prefer to be known as a Western wear brand of separates, infused with enough versatility to be worn in Indian styles. "Working with handlooms is not without its unique set of challenges. For example, we can't afford to follow the colour forecast, since we work with natural dyes. Plus, we work with tricky timelines. We have to work two years in advance since there is lot of back and forth between craftsmen and our design team," says Vijaya. Luckily, the two design and develop their signature shibori in-house, making it possible to control how the garment is cut. "It also allows us to keep the price affordable. The shibori range starts at Rs 13,000," he adds.

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"Go for vertical broad stripes instead of horizontal for a vacation wardrobe," suggests Lodha, like in this bowling shirt by AMI. A broad striped shirt, subdued with a solid-coloured jacket, can also work as a safe yet edgy work outfit.

Luxury labels and high street brands have embraced resort collars to help you keep your cool. We like this Louis Vuitton floral shirt paired with the un-skippable baggy pants folded at the hem.

It's been a while since pastels made their way into men's wardrobes, in dainty and rugged versions (with weathered fabrics). A pastel palette can be great for summer when choosing shades for colour blocking, and can also work in constraint with prints, like you see here in this Kenzo piece.

Illustrations/Uday Mohite

Baggy trousers have been a staple across brands, as has athleisure wear. Merge formal wear with a sporty element either through a simple stripe running on the side of your shirt or like this merger of a hoodie and a shirt by Hermes.

Hockey legend Dhanraj Pillay has hailed multi-talented India women's cricket star Jemimah Rodrigues after the teen cricketer recently recalled an interaction with the hockey star during her inter-school sports days.

Jemimah, 19, got nostalgic when one of her Twitter followers posted her picture receiving an award from four-time Olympian Dhanraj Pillay during her hockey-playing days in school.

"This was my first award ever! Had got the Promising Player Award in an inter-school hockey tournament. Was really special receiving it from Dhanraj Pillay Sir. Was 8 back then," Jemimah replied to the fan.

India batswoman Jemimah Rodrigues during an ODI against New Zealand at McLean Park in Napier, NZ last year. Pic/Getty Images

Impressive skills
Interestingly, even Pillay remembers the moment. "After presenting her that award, I remember, she continued to do well in hockey. I saw her play at the St Stanislaus and St Andrew's grounds in Bandra. I was very impressed with her skills. It's nice to know that she still remembers me and the award she received," Pillay told mid-day on Monday.

Jemimah chose cricket later and excelled in it, but Pillay said she would have been equally good in hockey too.

"She is a very talented girl. Going by her hockey skills, I have no doubt that she could have made her mark as an international hockey player too. She has proved that a hockey player can excel in any other sport. Her dedication and hard work have paid off," said the four-time World Cupper.

Pillay said residents of Bandra, like Jemimah, are fortunate to have access to various sporting avenues. "There is something about people who live in and around Bandra, which is a prominent sports hub. Former India hockey stars like Joaquim Carvalho, Merwyn Fernandes, MM Somaya, Viren Rasquinha, Marcellus Gomes, John Fernandes…it's a long list of players…all excelled in two or more sports," added Dhanraj, who is the Secretary of the Air India Sports Control Board (Western Region).

'I follow her career'
Pillay said he has also invited Jemimah to train at the Air India ground in Kalina. "I follow Jemimah's career whenever I get the time. I watched the women's T20 World Cup [in Australia] on TV last month and also followed the team's South Africa tour and other tournaments she featured in.

"Last year, I met her at an awards function at the Air India ground in Kalina and told her that she can use our ground for net practice any time.

"Being a sportsperson, I know how difficult it is for players to get grounds to train on in a space-starved city like Mumbai. She has made Mumbai and the country proud with her achievements and I hope she continues to play like this for years to come," Pillay signed off.

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Veteran Indian goalkeeper PR Sreejesh has been left disappointed with the postponement of Tokyo Olympic Games due to the Coronavirus pandemic which has wreaked havoc across the world. India last won a gold in Hockey in 1980 in Moscow Olympics. Since then, they have participated in eight Olympic editions but have failed to make a podium finish. And after qualifying for the Tokyo Games, the team was in high spirits and were looking forward to end the medal drought.

However, their dream remains unfulfilled for now as the International Olympic Committee has postponed the Games to summer 2021. "It's disappointing that the Olympics has been postponed. We have been focussing only on the Olympics in the last one year. We qualified for the Olympics and started very well at the FIH Hockey Pro League, but then the COVID-19 crisis began and everything changed," Sreejesh said.

"But though it is disappointing that the Games are delayed, when you take the health and safety of the players into consideration, the best thing to do is to postpone the Games instead of cancelling it," he added.

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The International Olympic Committee will face "several hundred million dollars" of added costs because of the postponement of the Tokyo Games, the body's president said. Thomas Bach spoke in an interview with German newspaper Die Welt on Sunday. Estimates in Japan put the overall cost of the postponement at USD 2 billion-USD 6 billion. Except for the IOC portion, all added costs will be borne by the Japanese side according to an agreement signed in 2013 when Tokyo was awarded the Olympics. Bach said it was "impossible to say for now" the extent of the added costs for the IOC caused by the coronavirus pandemic. "We agreed with the prime minister that Japan will continue to cover the costs it would have done under the terms of the existing agreement for 2020, and the IOC will continue to be responsible for its share of the costs," Bach said.

"For us, the IOC, it is already clear that we shall be faced with several hundred million dollars of additional costs." Before the postponement, Japanese organizers put the official cost of the games at USD 12.6 billion. However, a government audit report in 2019 said the costs were at least twice that. All but USD 5.6 billion of it is in taxpayer money. Tokyo said the 2020 Games would cost about USD 7.3 billion when it won the bid seven years ago. On Friday, the CEO of the Tokyo organizing committee said the pandemic left some doubts about the games going ahead next year. "I don't think anyone would be able to say if it is going to be possible to get it under control by next July or not," Toshiro Muto said, speaking through an interpreter.

"We certainly are not in a position to give you a clear answer." Bach was asked about the possibility of another postponement. He did not answer directly, but said later in the interview that Japanese organizers and Prime Minister Shinzo Abe "made it very clear to me that Japan could not manage a postponement beyond next summer at the latest." Bach was also asked if the pandemic provided an opportunity for some athletes to violate the doping rules with no threat of testing. Bach countered that the delay could allow new testing methods to be developed. He also said tests made before the Olympics would be saved for 10 years for retesting.

"No one should feel confident that they don't get caught," he said. Bach was asked about Russia's status for the Olympics in 2021. Last year, Russia was hit with a four-year ban from international sports ¿ including the Olympics ¿ because of a doping scandal. However, many Russian athletes were expected to be allowed to compete if they could show they were clean. "The Russia question is currently under consideration by the CAS, the independent international Court of Arbitration for Sport, so it wouldn't be right for me to comment on it," Bach said. Bach said he had not decided if he will run for re-election next year. He also pointed out that the IOC had insurance that covered a cancellation, but not a postponement. The election will take place in 2021, and Bach is required to notify of his intentions six months before the vote. He was first elected in 2013 and is widely expected to seek another term. "There's still plenty of time," he said.

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A decision on whether to go ahead with June's French Formula One Grand Prix behind closed doors or to postpone or scrap the event will be made in the coming days, organisers said Tuesday. The grand prix scheduled for June 28 is the first race on the revised Formula One world championship calendar with nine races already scrapped or suspended as a result of the coronavirus pandemic.

Following French President Emmanuel Macron's announcement Monday that the lockdown in France will be extended until May 11 and public gatherings banned until mid-July, a spokesman for the race organisers told AFP that they "have been studying all scenarios" including postponement or staging the event behind closed doors.

F1 sports director Ross Brawn said last week he could envisage the start of the F1 season in Europe in July with a race excluding the public.

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US actor-pop singer Jennifer Lopez is all set to marry her baseball star boyfriend Alex Rodriguez as soon as the Coronavirus-caused lockdown ends. The couple were to tie the knot this summer and had even made most bookings. However, the global lockdown forced them to push things forward. Now, they can't wait for things to return to normal to say 'I do'.

"It was all planned out and paid for. They obviously had to postpone it due to Coronavirus. But now JLo wants to marry A-Rod shortly after things go back to normal. She wants to marry him and celebrate their love in front of her family and close friends," a source told American magazine, US Weekly.

Recently, while talking about the lockdown and the impact of it on her marriage plans, she said that it had changed things and didn't know what was going to happen. "We're in a holding pattern like the rest of the world. It's something we'll have to wait and see in a few months, how this pans out," she had said.
The couple are currently at home in Los Angeles with twins Max and Emme, 12.

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The Belgian Formula One Grand Prix scheduled for August 30 is in doubt after the country's ban on public gatherings was extended until the end of that month, organisers said. "All scenarios are being studied: postponement, holding it behind closed doors, or cancelling it. No-one can say what the situation will be in four and a half months," Vanessa Maes, the grand prix's director general, told Belga news agency.

Holding the event behind closed doors is unlikely with local backers unhappy with the financial fallout, according to the newspaper La Derniere Heure. The race is expected to join nine other grands prix that have already been cancelled or postponed this season as Formula One grapples with the consequences of the coronavirus pandemic.

"Our absolute priority remains the health of the Belgian people and the spectators who come to Spa-Francorchamps," the race venue, said Maes.
The French Grand Prix scheduled for June 28 is also in doubt. A decision on whether to go ahead with the race behind closed doors or to postpone or scrap the event is expected in the coming days.

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Four-time world champion Sebastian Vettel on Friday cautioned against the temptation to shoehorn too many Formula One races into a revised calendar, describing the move as "not realistic". The 22-event F1 season has been decimated by the Coronavirus with nine races either cancelled or postponed. The French Grand Prix scheduled for June 28 is also in doubt as is the Belgian Grand Prix, set for August 30.

F1 chiefs have floated the idea of making up for lost time by staging races on successive weekends or even having two races on the same weekend.

Staff burnout issue

However, Ferrari star Vettel fears such a move could lead to burnout for team staff. "We drivers are a little privileged," Vettel told reporters by teleconference from his home in Switzerland. "Of course, the races are tiring but there have to be limits for the staff. They must rest. "We must also see if it is easy to reschedule races, if the circuits are not already taken. Many questions remain. I think the schedule will be busier, but 10 consecutive weekends is not realistic."

Vettel suggested that he would favour staging races without fans if it allowed a quick resumption as long as it did not become a common feature. Other sports have already toyed with the idea of staging events behind closed doors. For example, the US PGA Tour on Thursday announced plans to resume in June, with the first four tournaments being closed to spectators.

"It's complicated," admitted Vettel. "On the one hand, there is the health of the sport, on the other, that of the people who work in the paddock and especially the fans. "There are several options. No one likes to run in front of empty stands, but we will have to see if it will not allow us to resume much sooner. The first races will probably be a little different, but not too much, I hope, because we want to run in front of the fans."

Vettel insists that for him even a 10-race season is just as valuable as a 22-race campaign. However, he admits that the damage to the sport caused by the pandemic could be fatal for the smaller teams on the grid.

'Small teams in danger'

Without racing, the massive TV and sponsorship revenues have dried up. Half of the teams have already started furloughing staff. Teams have agreed to lower the spending cap from $175 million to $150m. "Some small teams are in danger and, as a family, F1 has to take care of its own."

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Vanessa Bryant celebrated the 19th anniversary of her wedding to her late husband Kobe Bryant on Saturday with a touching Instagram post.

"My king, my heart, my best friend. Happy 19th wedding anniversary. I miss you so much. I wish you were here to hold me in your arms. I love you," she wrote, posting a picture of the couple. Five-time NBA champion Bryant and the couple's 13-year-old daughter, Gianna, were among nine people killed in a helicopter crash in Los Angeles on January 26. Gianna, along with her basketball teammates Payton Chester and Alyssa Altobelli, who also died in the crash, were honored at Friday's WNBA draft as honorary selections.

 

 

 

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My king, my heart, my best friend. Happy 19th wedding anniversary baby. I miss you so much. I wish you were here to hold me in your arms. I love you. ❤ï¸Â

A post shared by Vanessa Bryant ðŸ¦Â‹ (@vanessabryant) onApr 18, 2020 at 10:00am PDT

Vanessa Bryant recorded an emotional message for the draft broadcast, saying being drafted into the women's league "would have been a dream come true" for Gianna. After the conclusion of the draft on Friday night, the WNBA announced the creation of the Kobe & Gigi Bryant WNBA Advocacy Award, given to "an individual or group who has made significant contributions to the visibility, perception and advancement of women's and girls' basketball at all levels."

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Legendary sprinter Milkha Singh's daughter and ace golfer Jeev Milkha Singh's elder sister has been running a "marathon" in New York -- not on a track but at a hospital, battling the COVID-19 pandemic that has ravaged the world. Mona Milkha Singh is a doctor at the Metropolitan Hospital Center in New York, attending to emergency patients of coronavirus, which has so far claimed more than 40,000 lives in the US alone while causing over 1.5 lakh deaths worldwide.

"She is basically an ER (Emergency Room) doctor in the Metropolitan Hospital Center in New York city. So, when someone comes with the coronavirus symptoms, she has to treat them," Jeev, a four-time European Tour champion, told PTI. "She checks the patients, stabilises them, performs intubation (insertion of artificial ventilation tube into a patient) before they are sent to special wards to quarantine the COVID-19 patients," he added. The 54-year-old Mona passed out of Patiala Medical College before moving to the USA in the '90s. She has been working there for more than 20 years.

"I am so proud of her. She says it is like running a marathon every day. She has been working five days a week, sometimes day shifts, sometimes night shifts, 12-hour shifts and it is tough but she has to do the job as best as she can." The 48-year-old from Chandigarh said the job is a stressful one and sometimes he feels scared for her. "I feel worried. When you are treating people, anything can happen, so we talk to her everyday. My mom and dad also keep checking on her. "We keep asking how she is feeling and if there are any symptoms. I tell her to stay positive and boost her immune system," said Jeev, also a five-time Asian Tour winner. New York has reported nearly 250,000 confirmed cases and over 18,000 fatalities, forcing the government to extend its lockdown till May 15 to contain the fast-spreading disease. However, the lockdown is also giving rise to a lot of mental health issues among people, who also need equal attention. "With New York in partial lockdown, she gets a lot of patients who are suffering from depression as they are not used to staying at home," Jeev elaborated.

"There are people who come with bullet wounds, people who are having anxiety attacks, youngsters with drug overdose or old people getting heart attacks, basically any kind of emergency, she has to treat them all," he said. The Chandigarh-based golfer also called for greater respect for the frontline workers, who have been attacked in India while performing their duties. "It is my humble request to every citizen of the world to respect the frontline workers because they are there to help us, whether it is the doctors, police, people who pick up garbage ... we must be respectful, kind and grateful to them and make sure they are taken care of," he said. The dreaded virus has infected over 20 lakh people across the globe.

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