"The danger...is that any systemization of spiritual realities is both wrong and thus misleading. Systems, definitions and diagrams of the inner life are, in a sense, by definition wrong because they are an attempt to reduce to something that is merely rational that which transcends our rational capacity. The spiritual life is known and experienced, but because it is supra-rational, it cannot be spoken of in rational categories. Which does not mean that it cannot be spoken of at all. Irony, metaphor, and apophatic statements can sometimes point toward supra-rational, inner realities, or to what such realities are not. However, the word ‘sometimes’ is key."

"And because such suffering is a temptation to sin, it is also an opportunity to deny Christ. It is an opportunity to curse God or curse man made in the image of God. It is an opportunity to become lost in self pity and never-ending introspection. It is an opportunity to become engrossed in the immediate human or demonic or biological causes, and to ignore God almost completely, as though our suffering and difficult circumstance were happening behind God’s back. The same difficult or painful circumstance becomes for us the means by which we either grow in Christ or in some way deny Him. And of course what is happening to us never makes any sense in the midst of the suffering. That’s part of the temptation. We don’t know why God is letting this happen. We don’t know what God is doing. It just doesn’t make sense. And at that point of confusion, that dark night of the body and soul, all we have left is naked trust, naked hope that God is still God despite all of the evidence to the contrary, despite the pain and confusion and injustice of the situation. Can we say with Job, 'Even if He slay me, yet will I trust in Him'?"

Fr. Michael Gillis reminds us that our salvation lies in living humbly within our measure, pushing a little during lent, perhaps, but always judging ourselves unworthy of a higher or stricter measure. This kind of fasting will be to our spiritual benefit.

Fr. Michael Gillis uses a gardening analogy to discuss dealing with the deep-rooted sins in life.

Some of us may be facing death at this time—just as Lazarus did. Some of us may have a loved one who has or will soon die—as Mary and Martha did. And some of us, most of us probably, are just largely inconvenienced. And with the Churches closed, all of us may be wondering with Mary and Martha where Jesus is, for if Jesus were here, surely He would not let this happen. But Jesus is here. The same Jesus who raised Lazarus from the tomb, also first allowed him to ‘fall asleep’ in the tomb.

Fr. Michael suggests that going to hell, or going to heaven, for that matter, will not be new or unfamiliar for most people.

Sinners are thrown utterly upon the mercy of God. For Sinners, “Lord, have mercy” means Lord, have mercy. For those who merely admit that they have sinned, “Lord, have mercy” may have very little meaning at all.

Repentance is a matter of saying, that’s not me, that’s not who I am—even while all I can see is my failure and darkness. This is because who I am, who I am becoming, is hidden in Christ. When I turn my attention to my failure and darkness, all seems to become failure and darkness because guilt makes me want to hide from God, driving me back to sin. In turning to Christ (rather than hiding behind the fig leaves of the knowledge of good and evil–the guilt and sin dynamic), the Light cleanses me from all darkness. We only turn to sin when we turn from the Light, and it is only in turning to the Light that we start to experience real victory over sin.

Most of the time, caring for our inner garden is more a matter of attention than of effort. The weeds of sinful and passionate thoughts can be pulled out pretty easily by merely recognizing them as sinful and turning your attention to Christ in prayer. The Jesus Prayer is probably the most common, or at least the most famous, form of prayer used by Orthodox Christians to turn their attention to Christ and away from sinful thoughts. However, sometimes the weeds get out of control. Sometimes weeds grow in the back corners of our garden where we don’t pay a lot of attention—until it is too late. Suddenly we realize that a pattern of thought that we had not looked at very carefully turns out to be harboring some pretty nasty sinful passions.

Fr. Michael Gillis talks about how part of our problem with overcoming temptation is that we don’t understand what temptations are for, what they are meant to accomplish in our lives. We wrongly think that temptations exist to test us to see if we will be “good.” We still haven’t believed the words of Jesus who said: “There is no one good but God.” Temptations come not to test us to see if we will be good; rather, temptations come to show us that we are not good and that we need to flee in humility to God for refuge. Temptations come because we think we can make it through the day without God’s constant help. Temptations come because we think a comfortable life is normal, rather than a gift from God. This is what the saints call self-esteem.

Fr. Michael Gillis has us look at the world we find ourselves in. We are mentored by media that exploits and seduces us for its own profit, political leaders whom we know are lying, businesses that we know are cheating us and an educational system piloted by women, men and “others” who want to obliterate basic human nature. It seems we find ourselves, like young prophet Samuel, being raised in a corrupt and predatory culture. Yet nevertheless, like the prophet Samuel, we too can grow into very holy people, people who can learn to listen for God even as we are surrounded by innumerable sins and evil influences.

Is it possible to flee to the desert a little bit? No and yes. No, you can’t flee a little bit, for fleeing a little bit is not fleeing at all. But yes, you can flee a little bit, if that little bit is complete. Here’s what I mean. We are all called to flee the world, in the sense of fleeing the sinful ways of the world. But we are not all called to flee in the same way. St. Isaac the Syrian, also known as St. Isaac the Solitary, wrote letters and homilies for hermits, those who had fled the world in the most complete and literal way. Much of the wisdom of these letters and homilies can help anyone flee to the desert completely, even if they only flee completely a little bit.

Fr. Michael Gillis builds off of last week's talk about the Great Reset on not getting attached to the comforts of this world. Someone asked about how to balance living in this world without getting attached to it. Fr. Michael talks about three things we can do to help us live as sojourners in this world, waiting for a City whose foundation and builder is God.

Waiting involves attention. We have to pay attention to our thoughts. We have to notice what is happening in our minds and thoughts and feelings leading up to and when and after we sin. And learning to pay attention to our thoughts takes time. It’s something that we have to practice. It is, the Fathers tell us, an important part of prayer. When we practice prayer with attention (attention to what we are praying, to being present and not allowing our mind to wander), then we develop this ability to pay attention to our thoughts at other times too.

Last night I attended a prayer service in the street in front of the Coptic Orthodox Church that was burned down early Monday morning. Although some evidence points toward arson, arson has not been proven and no motive has yet been identified. However, there has been a recent spike in violence against churches (vandalism, arson and threats), some sources report over 200 significant incidents in Canada since June. Many of us may be wondering what we should do. Well, I think we should do what our Coptic Orthodox brothers and sisters are doing. We should pray and love.

All suffering, however, regardless of its apparent immediate source, can be understood as the wrath of God. But we must never forget that we call it God’s wrath because of how we feel and how we experience it, not because God is at all angry or vengeful. Rather, God both allows and brings about suffering in our lives as a doctor treating a patient. What patient after major surgery has not experienced the wrath of the physical therapist? Healing the body is often painful.

I write a weekly letter for our community and this week I thought I would share this letter with a broader audience. We celebrated the Feast of the Nativity of the Theotokos this week. Mary the Mother of God was born into a world full of oppression and confusion, yet she was able to become the Holy dwelling place of God. We too, especially at this time of government restrictions and all of the heightened rhetoric of political campaigns—all too radicalized and spun by social media, news outlets, social prophets, and advertising—we too may feel that we are living in an increasingly oppressive and confusing world. While we are not suffering under the occupation of a foreign army, as was Israel during the lifetime of the Mother of God, still many of us are angry and stressed out by the restrictions being imposed on us, whether we agree with them or not.

Keep nurturing the disciplines and activities that tend to produce the fruit of the Spirit, and work to avoid the activities or relationships or situations that stir up your passions. This is what the Church calls asceticism.

Isn’t it strange how much easier it is to thank God when you have almost nothing, than it is when you have much more than you need? I have noticed this in myself. I am very thankful to God when I have a little bread (when I might not have any), but when I have bread going mouldy because I have so many other things to eat, I forget to give thanks. When we have abundance, we have to force ourselves give thanks, otherwise we won’t.

In St. Paul’s famous passage about spiritual warfare in 2 Corinthians 10, he specifically mentions arguments as one of the high things that must be cast down because they exalt themselves against the knowledge of God. Arguments, St. Paul tells us, along with every other “high thing” must be brought into obedience to Christ. Forcing myself to turn away from the argument in my mind and to return to Christ in my heart is the only way I have found to recapture the peace which fled when I accepted the devil’s bait and began to argue.

For those of us who are still working on getting that first few rows of stones around the foundation of faith, focusing on acquiring a little bit of every virtue helps us to keep picking up the stone (of virtue) that is needed at a given moment and putting it down at the correct place in our spiritual house. Baby steps for baby Christians. May God grant that we are all found to be children in His Kingdom.

One of the problems with vainglory, according to St. Isaac the Syrian, is that “it hands that person over to” either fornication or pride. But before we can talk about how vainglory hands one over to either fornication or pride, we need to understand what vainglory is. Nowadays the word vain means to have a high opinion of oneself, but that is not what it originally meant, nor what it means in the Bible or in the hymnology of the Church. This is why many English-speaking Orthodox Christians have no idea what vainglory means.

Someone recently asked me about how to understand the evil thoughts they experience.

Fr. Stephen begins his verse by verse study in the Gospel according to St. Luke. This first episode give an introduction to the book. (Please note that the first 2 episodes will not have the same high quality audio as all of the subsequent ones.)

Fr. Stephen De Young ends the discussion of John, Chapter 3, and begins his discussion of Chapter 4.

Fr. Stephen De Young discusses Romans 9:30 to 10:4.

The Lord is King and reigns in majesty! Fr. Tom explores the numerous references to Jesus as King in the Scriptures.

What was the nature and purpose of the death of Christ as depicted in the Old Testament prophecy of Isaiah? Get your Orthodox Study Bible out and follow along as Fr. Thomas teaches us verse by verse.

Fr. Tom continues his series on the Names of Jesus by exploring two names that we do not usually associate with Christ.

Grab a pipe and a cup of coffee and join Steve and Christian as they sit in Christian’s backyard and discuss Pixar’s latest installment, The Good Dinosaur, exploring some of the themes of death and life, fear and love, and of course, how these relate to our life in Christ in the Orthodox Church. WARNING: If you’re as a big a softy as these two, you’re going to need Kleenex. They sure could have used some.

Steven and Christian discuss being exposed to darkness through art and whether or not there is merit in pressing through things that are difficult to watch. They deal with themes of light and dark, weaker brothers and stronger brothers, and why neither of them could make it past (or in Christian’s case through) the first episode of the critically acclaimed Breaking Bad. As always, the guys end with a top 5 list.

Canceling Arrested Development was a huge mistake. Some might say that bringing it back for Season Four was an even huger mistake. Steve and Christian explore what makes certain shows land with an audience, why Arrested Development was before its time, and how we in the Church can avoid making the same huge mistakes as the producers of many TV Shows that were canceled too early (or not early enough) and were brought back for more. Of course, they end with another Top Five. Typical.

Join Steve and Christian this week as they explore the Netflix original series Daredevil. They discuss what they love about the series, why superheroes appeal to our desire for a savior, and whether they’d be good guys or bad guys. Also, the top 5 superpowers of all time.

The guys watched Pixar’s newest installment, Finding Dory, and they both loved it, but only one of them cried! Listen to discover which one cried, to hear discussions of how Pixar teaches us about personhood, and how the story of a fish is a story about God’s love bringing us home. They also discuss the Top 5 Sequels of all time. Spoiler Alert: Independence Day 2 was not one of them.

This week, the guys watch the Netflix original series "Stranger Things" and discuss friendship, transcendence, nostalgia, and our longing for eternity. They wrap up with their top 5 iconic '80s movies.

This week, the guys discuss Marvel’s Doctor Strange and how the film handled transcendence, sacrifice, heroism, and love. They close with their top 5 fictional (medical) doctors of all time.

The guys watched Martin Scorcese’s newest film, Silence, and it left them feeling…conflicted. Join Steve and Christian as they discuss immanent expressions of faith, the gruesome (and hopeful) reality of martyrdom, the pain of the dark night of the soul, and the depth of the Lenten struggle. They close with their Top 5 Conflicted Characters of All Time.

This week, Emma and Christina read (and watched) A Light Between Oceans. Join them as they discuss the danger of spiritual delusion, the path toward true love and repentance, and how the film adaptation missed the heart of the novel. They close with their Top 5 Worst Book-To-Film Adaptions.

The guys watched Get Out, a film with all the makings of a paranormal horror film, except no paranormal stuff: just rich, white New Englanders. They discuss the racial implications of the film, what it means to be a human person, and the centrality of the body in the human experience. They close with the Top 5 people they wished they were as kids.

This week, the guys read the 2011 novel Ready Player One. The book, itself an homage to video games and the 80s, prompted discussions of human personhood, the journey of the spiritual life, and how love can pierce through our obsession with the illusory. They close with their Top 5 Classic Video Games.

This week the ladies discuss one of Christina’s all-time favorite books, A Swiftly Tilting Planet. They discuss the reality that all things are connected, the healing power of the transcendent, and the habitual sticking power of every virtuous (or vicious) decision we make. They close with their Top 5 Books from Childhood.

In the final episode before the summer break, Steve and Christian discuss DC’s hit summer blockbuster Wonder Woman. They discuss the nature of human beings, the power of compassion, and (as always) how secularism has taken hold of our notions of the transcendent. They close with their Top 5 Heroines.

It’s another crossover episode of PCCH! This time Christina and Christian take on one of their favorite shows: Parks and Recreation! They discuss the interplay between communion and otherness, the theological value of beauty, and the redemption of all things, including our own pasts. They close with the Top 5 Parks and Recreation Quotes.

The guys reunite to discuss Rod Dreher’s controversial book The Benedict Option. They discuss religious freedom, their mutual desire for Christian community, and how our best religious arguments often cede ground to secular positions. They close with their Top 5 Books on the Christian Life.

The guys watched the new Orthodox documentary Becoming Truly Human. They discuss the nature of conversion stories, the role of parents in journeys through faith, and how doubt can be central to our spiritual walk.They close with their Top 5 Martyr Stories.

The girls read Kristin Hannah’s The Nightingale, and even Christina loved it. They discuss how each of us is broken, how our response to that brokenness shapes us, and how each of us is called to become holy in a unique way. They close with the Top 5 Women With a Cause.

The guys take on the 90's classic The Shawshank Redemption. They discuss the theme of Life vs. Death, the saving grace of friendship, and the need for ministry to prepare young people for a truly Christian life. They close with their Top 5 Fictional Friendships.

The guys couldn’t wait to watch and talk about Stranger Things 2. Join them as they explore the power of truth, our need for family and friends, and how transcendence plays into our experience of being human. They close with their Top 5 Unlikely Heroes. For more from the Y2AM team.

The girls watched the recent romantic comedy The Big Sick. They discuss modern dating, how faith can become a cultural characteristic, and the difficult need to stand up for what’s right. They close with their Top 5 Movie Moms.

The guys watched Thor: Ragnorok and kind of liked it. They discuss Marvel’s presentation of “gods," the significance of things and places, and the predictable nature of evil. They end with their Top 5 Moments Where Everything Was At Stake.