The following event(s) took place in Middle-earth on April 26th: The unexpected party (1341) TheOneRing.net is officially registered (1999) TheOneRing.net celebrates its 10-year Anniversary. TheOneRing.net members unveil the TORn Mathom-house (2010)  TheOneRing.net celebrates its 15-year Anniversary. TheOneRing.net celebrates its 20-year Anniversary. [Join us on the Discussion Boards here!] April 26, 2941 (S.R. 1341) 1. Wednesday. […]

Welcome to The Great Hall of Poets, our regular monthly feature showcasing the talent of Middle-earth fans. Each month we will feature a small selection of the poems submitted, but we hope you will read all of the poems that we have received here in our Great Hall of Poets. So come and join us by […]

The following event(s) took place in Middle-earth on May 1st: Gandalf and Bilbo reach Rivendell (1342) Sarn Ford where Gandalf and Aragorn met (1418) Crowning of King Elessar (1419) Elrond and Arwen set out from Rivendell (1419) Samwise marries Rose (1420) [Join us on the Discussion Boards here]   May 1, 2942 (S.R. 1342) 1. […]

TheOneRing.net is hosting a series of four VIRTUAL 5K RACES in May. Each race will reflect a leg of the Fellowship’s journey through Middle-earth (though not in actual miles, of course). A new race will be posted on the first four Fridays in May. The 5k races (3.1 miles) can be run or walked at […]

Ever generous with his time and talent, Andy Serkis is hosting a #hobbithon of sorts and reading the entirety of The Hobbit for 12 hours – right now! In a message to his fans, Andy writes: So many of us are struggling in isolation during the lockdown. While times are tough, I want to take […]

Air travelers cannot receive cash compensation if their flight is delayed by a passenger biting others and assaulting crew members, an adviser at the Court of Justice of the European Union said on Thursday.

Belgian waffles may be about to become more environmentally friendly.

You've got to eat it, to beat it: That's the philosophy of one Hanoi chef who is attempting to boost morale in the Vietnamese capital by selling green, coronavirus-themed burgers.

With potato farmers and processors struggling, Belgians are being urged to eat more fries to offset a slump in demand during the coronavirus pandemic.

Volunteers clad as Superman and Spider-Man sprayed disinfectant against the coronavirus on Indonesia's island of Java, flanking a colleague wearing the winged helmet of local superhero Gatotkaca who shouted, "Wear masks, wash hands and stay alert."

A trooper stopping a car with a suspected "impaired driver" on a U.S. highway on Monday was bemused to find a 5-year-old in the driver's seat, the Utah Highway Patrol tweeted.

Для творческих людей даже поход в мебельный магазин может превратиться в интересный дизайн-проект, который сделает интерьер интересным и стильным. А если это касается базовых моделей от IKEA, то открывается широкое поле деятельности при минимальных финансовых потерях. Это доказала известная блогер Эрин Спейн, которая уже обустроила свой дом. Переделкой добротного комода она поделилась в Сети, теперь и мы сможем увидеть, что получилось из этой затеи.

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May is "Homeschooling Awareness Month", parents, which I'm sure you'll find as deliciously ironic as I do... by maybe next August.

Here's one from every home-schooled kid to their parent/teachers right now:

SORRY

Also maybe focus on spelling and grammar this week?

 And here's one from every homeschooling parent to their kids after you all survive the rest of the school year:

 Jejus is so proud of y'all.

If you're feeling left out, don't worry; it's also "Flexible Work Arrangement Week" (BAHAHAHAHAAA) and Mental Health Month, which at the moment go together like two peas in a pod. That's on fire.

“This is fine.”

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”

[...]

I don't actually know what that is, but it sure seems ominous.

I'm glad at least one baker understands the importance of talking things out through all this:

Advantages of cake therapy:

1) Cake doesn't judge

2) Cake always listens

3) Cake tastes delicious when your session time is up

Or hey, let the cake do the talking for you!

If you don't identify with this right now you're either not quarantined with anyone, or yesterday you were the annoying one. :p

Thanks to Kendra W., Jan M., Lesley G., Renee R., Megan W., Leigh M., & Hank C. for proving all snarky house notes should be made using cake.

*****

Speaking of house notes, whether you're feeling snarky or sweet, this listing has funny note options for just about every conceivable situation:

Nifty Note Pads

Each pad has 50 tear-off sheets, and the checkbox options are a riot to read through.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Comics Curmudgeon readers! Do you love this blog and yearn for a novel written by its creator? Well, good news: Josh Fruhlinger's The Enthusiast is that novel! It's even about newspaper comic strips, partly. Check it out! Funky Winkerbean, 5/7/20 OK, I am ashamed to admit this, but: I genuinely do not have a handle […]

Comics Curmudgeon readers! Do you love this blog and yearn for a novel written by its creator? Well, good news: Josh Fruhlinger's The Enthusiast is that novel! It's even about newspaper comic strips, partly. Check it out! Hey y’all: it’s your comment … of … the WEEK! “If we do have to accept a more […]

In this week's Pagan Community Notes, Pagan Spirit Gathering has been canceled, indigenous shaman and actor Antonio Bolivar joins the Ancestors, Sacred Well announces changes in leadership, and more!

Continue reading Pagan Community Notes: PSG 2020 canceled, leadership change within Sacred Well, indigenous shaman and actor Antonio Bolivar crosses Veil, and more! at The Wild Hunt.

Pagan healthcare providers discuss how they are coping with the stresses of the pandemic and how the power of their spiritual practices sustains them.

Continue reading Healthcare providers share how their Pagan practices nurture them through the pandemic at The Wild Hunt.

A sinkhole that has opened up near the Pantheon offers a chance for researchers to examine travertine slabs that date back to Roman antiquity.

Continue reading Sinkhole near the Pantheon shines a light on ancient slabs at The Wild Hunt.

I’m really enjoying Lukas Volger’s new cookbook, Start Simple: Eleven Everyday Ingredients for Countless Weeknight Meals. It came out two months ago, a positively bizarre time in which we entered and left our homes with abandon, casually hugged friends we were happy to see, and if our nose became itchy, we’d scratch it and not stand paralyzed in panic afterward. What salad days! Volger’s new book wasn’t created with pandemic cooking in mind — what was, really — but it feels just right for right now because each chapter focuses on a staple our local store is miraculously not out of (tofu, tortillas, beans, greens, squash, and more), and the recipes have refreshingly short ingredient lists and unfussy assemblies. Volger’s vegetarian cooking is very doable, the kind of do-ability that comes from the fact that this is clearly the food he cooks for himself at home, so all of the kinks are smoothed out. Everything sounds so good — smoky chickpea salad with olives and lemon and black beans with scallion-lime vinaigrette from the bean section are on my shortlist — you might find yourself wondering why this unwavering simplicity isn’t the goal of every cookbook.

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I know, I know, you don’t need to tell me that there are already four banana bread recipes on this site, plus four additional banana cakes, and that’s probably enough, right? Genuinely, I believed I was done too, that the Banana Baked Goods course at SK University* had been completed. But then a few things happened. After creating the pumpkin bread of my dreams and what I hope will be the last zucchini bread recipe you’ll ever need over the last couple years, it began to bother me that the banana bread recipes on the site lacked what these have: a towering height and a crunchy top that will be hard not to lift off in one giant tile and swiftly coat the underside with salted butter. So, I created one and I’ve been keeping it to myself for over a year because, see above: SK is probably at Banana Bread Capacity. But over the last few weeks of, well, not doing a whole lot else, I can’t help but notice that we’ve all been making a whole lot of banana bread. And I think you might like this one instead.

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For many years I’ve been fascinated by variations on yeast-free yogurt flatbread recipes (sometimes called yeast-free naan) that follow a loose formula of a cup of yogurt, a couple cups of flour, some salt, fat, and water. Sometimes there’s baking powder, sometimes there’s not. It’s kneaded together as you would a yeasted bread dough and left to rest for about 30 minutes, sometimes an hour, during which a transformation occurs and the dough becomes springy and smooth and very lovely to work with, like a freshly-opened can of Play-Doh. Once rolled thin, they’re pan-fried, and look, they’re fiiine. But they’re never as good as I want them to be.

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Second member of banned folk group dies in country where few political protest options remain

İbrahim Gökçek died at an Istanbul hospital after almost a year on hunger strike protesting against the detention of his wife, Sultan. She was still in prison, rather than at his side, when he died in intensive care on Thursday, two days after abandoning his strike.

Gökçek, a bass guitarist, is the second member of the banned left-wing folk music band Grup Yorum to die in just over a month after launching hunger strikes over the Turkish state’s treatment of their band: 28-year-old Helin Bölek, a singer, died on 3 April after 288 days of fasting.

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Cherished figures from pillar of country’s culture among the dead, as virus hits working-class areas

• Coronavirus – latest updates
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Like so many of his neighbours in Madureira – a working-class neighbourhood considered Rio’s “cradle of samba” – Álvaro Silva was a diehard supporter of the local samba school, Portela.

Just a few weeks ago the 76-year-old percussionist watched in delight as the group to which he had dedicated more than half of his life took to the streets for its annual carnival procession.

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Cities like Barcelona want to use crisis to allow people to rent properties at decent rates

Airbnb has revolutionised travel and since it was founded in 2008 hundreds of thousands of property owners have used the holiday accommodation platform to make ends meet, make a living and, in some cases, make a killing.

But while hosts, as they are known, are wringing their hands over the collapse of the travel industry and their loss of income, many city authorities are rubbing theirs at the prospect of thousands of holiday lets returning to the traditional rental market. Cities complain that the highly profitable holiday lets have driven up rents and forced out residents with the knock-on effect that local businesses no longer have a community to serve.

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We want to see your photos, videos and audio of what it is like doing your job on the frontline

Staff working for the NHS have expressed concern about the lack of protective personal equipment, with photographs circulating on social media of staff creating their own makeshift items, including with clinical waste bags.

We want to see healthcare workers’ photos, videos and audio of what it is like doing their job.

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About 2m Britons have paused payments in the coronavirus crisis. Readers share their concerns

• Coronavirus – latest updates
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Almost one in five UK mortgage holders have now been granted a payment holiday, it was estimated this week – but people’s experiences of the process have been very different. Some struggled to get a holiday while others say it was almost too easy. And while for some it will add just a few pounds to their monthly mortgage bill, others say their outlay will rise by a lot more.

The Guardian asked readers who had applied for a mortgage payment holiday, or help with other debts, how they got on. Almost 200 people contacted us to tell us their stories.

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Many people have turned to jogging during the coronavirus crisis. These shoes, apps and gadgets can help you get going

With gyms and leisure centres closed, many people have turned to running. You can literally just step out of your door and begin your government-approved exercise but, if you want to make the most of it and improve your health and fitness, a few small things can go a long way.

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A cheap, rich and sticky treat to eat with your favourite cuppa

Usually in a recipe, I like to contrast ingredients and watch them battle it out. But sometimes, when you want to go large on one flavour, it’s worth adding a few ingredients with similar profiles to cover all bases. Today’s loaf is a case in point: I wanted layers of malt on malt on malt – flavours of toast, coffee, toffee and rye bread – which comes from using malt extract and muscovado sugar together with my favourite tea, the robust, full-bodied Assam tea, AKA the thinking woman’s English breakfast.

Prep 10 min
Cook 50-60 min
Serves 8-10

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A weekday lunch of braised chickpeas, a savoury brunch porridge and a grown-up take on rice pudding

The world has seen more than its fair share of closed doors lately – shops, restaurants, the barber, your neighbours’ – but that has, in turn, led to the opening of some others.

And if there is one door that has swung wide open in recent weeks, it’s the one that leads into the kitchen. From the keenest of cooks to the humblest of beginners, the kitchen has provided us all with the one thing we’ve been missing the most: freedom.

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Your local boozer might be shut but the pub quiz lives on, with everyone from Helen Mirren to Stephen Fry asking the questions

In an unidentified magnolia room, Lenny Henry is yelling: “Let me hear you say: ‘YEAH.’” Next to his face, a live chat feed blurts out heart emojis and comments such as: “Hello, Sir Lenny!”. Or: “I’ve had the biggest crush on Lenny Henry since his Chef days.” Or: “Hi, my team name is Wuhan Clan.”

The Dudley comic is hosting the National Theatre’s online pub quiz, a pre-recorded broadcast, streamed via YouTube and Facebook. He is joined by Lesley Manville, Helen Mirren and Ian McKellen to pose 15 minutes’ worth of intensely difficult general knowledge questions to the public. And, bizarrely, to announce that: “I will pull interesting faces while you write the answer down,” before shooting his eyebrows to the sky and gaping his jaw as if he’s running an advertising campaign for his own tonsils. Still, this is lockdown living; everything’s a bit odd.

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An essential part of the recruitment process for any new teacher is meeting the pupils: but how do you do that under lockdown regulations?

If you are a teacher looking to move between schools during the coronavirus lockdown, how can you make the most of the online education experience with your new class? This is interesting new territory for many teachers. But there are thousands and thousands of teachers and pupils already learning remotely, in virtual schools – can they offer insights?

At a virtual school, lessons are delivered in line with each person’s personalised curriculum. Exactly as you would expect in a physical school space, pupils are taught how to interact with teachers, their peers and lesson content using whiteboard technology, quizzes, voice and video as well as receiving and sending assignment tasks. How should you introduce yourself to a new class, if you are meeting them online for the first time? If we consider how teachers deliver excellent classroom teaching practice in a physical space, how they prepare should not be approached any differently in an online environment.

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From that initial cold forkful to just the right amount of cheese, we’ve settled it – this is how you should be enjoying your beans

Forget whether the dress was blue or white, or if there was room for Jack on that floating debris – the most heated debates of our generation revolve around food. Does the jam or cream go on a scone first (and how do you pronounce scone)? Does pineapple belong on a pizza? And should your Heinz ketchup be kept in the fridge? (For the record: jam then cream; rhyme it with “gone”; certainly not; and yes, definitely. Glad we cleared that up.)

But few foods have triggered so many lengthy debates as the satisfyingly saucy baked bean. A British icon, the fierce loyalty these delicious legumes stir up is unparalleled. Which is the best bread to put them on? Is it OK to eat them cold? And should they really be touching other food on the plate? We’re here to solve these saucy conundrums once and for all. (Please note: the editor’s decision is final.)

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Set after the Great Depression, Morrison’s heartbreaking debut explores beauty and finds joy where there really should be none

This week, amazingly, I read a book. Just the one, though – let’s not get excited. I suspect I was only able to do so because I wasn’t reading for pleasure, but because I’ve been asked to write a foreword for it. The book I read was The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison, a novel about a young, dark-skinned girl growing up in the US after the Great Depression who believes herself to be ugly; she wishes for blue eyes in the hope that they will make her beautiful. I had started to read it a few years ago, but was so overwhelmed that I had to put it down. This time, I knew, contractually, that I was going to tackle it head on.

Usually I blitz through a book. But it’s Toni isn’t it, so you’ve got to gear yourself up for heartbreak, some trauma, and also to learn some things about yourself, and human nature, that you’d rather not be faced with. If she did one thing impeccably, it was holding a mirror up to society and saying: “Look at how we live. Are you proud of that?” And the answer cannot always be yes.

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(Atlantic)
This solo debut from the frontwoman of pop-punk stadium stars Paramore is a riot of lust, funk and femininity

Maturity is an often derided concept in a youth-facing art form. But when Simmer, a song about repressed feminist rage buoyed by creepy electronics – the lead track from Hayley Williams’s debut solo album – was released in January, it signalled an intriguing sea change in an artist previously known as a bouncy, flame-haired emo cheerleader.

The story of how Hayley Williams, now 31, went from leading angsty emo shoutalongs in the Tennessee pop-punk band Paramore to releasing these startling songs about rage, femininity and suicidal thoughts is one of the knottier yarns in contemporary American guitar music. Her trio-of-EPs album is now complete, with the final EP – and a physical album uniting all three – released last Friday.

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Coronavirus has robbed the Democrat of his typical back-slapping approach as he faces growing scrutiny and a third-party challenge

The Tampa, Florida, rally for Joe Biden on Thursday evening began as it normally might have, before a once-in-a-century pandemic transformed all aspects of American life, including the presidential campaign. A local high school student recited the pledge of allegiance, a campaign organizer pleaded with supporters to volunteer and a local DJ spun R&B music between speakers.

But in a sign of how profoundly the coronavirus crisis has reshaped American politics, that was where the similarities ended.

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American Revolution 2.0, which presents itself as bipartisan, has been assisted by far-right individuals – some with extremist links

Leaked audio recordings and online materials obtained by the Guardian reveal that one of the most prominent anti-lockdown protest groups, American Revolution 2.0 (AR2), has received extensive assistance from well-established far-right actors, some with extremist connections.

Related: Armed protesters demonstrate against Covid-19 lockdown at Michigan capitol

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Senior health official says virus exposed ‘weak links’ in way country manages epidemics

• Coronavirus – latest updates
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China will reform its disease prevention and control system to address weaknesses exposed by the coronavirus outbreak, a senior health official has said.

China has been criticised domestically and abroad for being initially slow to react to the outbreak, which started in Wuhan. The virus has now infected almost 4 million people around the world, and almost 250,0000 people have died from the Covid-19 disease it causes.

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After the justice department dropped charges against Trump’s ex-national security adviser, Obama expressed fear the US is headed in a dangerous direction

Barack Obama has reportedly said the “rule of law is at risk” in the US, after the justice department said it would drop its case against former national security adviser Michael Flynn.

Related: For Trump, l'etat, c'est moi. Attorney General Barr does whatever he wants | Lloyd Green

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Unemployment rate rose to 14.7% from just 4.4% in March as the coronavirus pandemic shuttered the global economy

• Coronavirus – live US updates
• Live global updates

More than 20 million people in the US lost their jobs in April and the unemployment rate more than trebled as the coronavirus pandemic shuttered the world’s largest economy, triggering a financial crisis unseen since the Great Depression.

The Department of Labor announced Friday that the US unemployment rate rose to 14.7% from just 4.4% in March and a near 50-year low of 3.5% in February before the US was hit by the virus.

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Scientists identify thousands of extreme events, suggesting stark warnings about global heating are already coming to pass

Intolerable bouts of extreme humidity and heat which could threaten human survival are on the rise across the world, suggesting that worst-case scenario warnings about the consequences of global heating are already occurring, a new study has revealed.

Related: One billion people will live in insufferable heat within 50 years – study

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Temperatures will drop dramatically on Sunday as cold front moves in from northern Scotland

Britain could have its hottest day of the year on Saturday, with temperatures predicted to hit 26C (78.8F).

Most of the country will bask in warm sunshine while London and the south-east will be hotter than Ibiza and St Tropez.

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Care minister’s request is admission that centralised programmes have fallen short

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Ministers have asked local directors of public health to take charge of Covid-19 testing in English care homes in what will be seen as a tacit admission that centralised attempts to run the programme have fallen short.

In a letter to sector leaders, seen by the Guardian, the care minister, Helen Whately, acknowledged that testing of care home residents and staff needs to be “more joined up”. She describes the new arrangements as “a significant change”.

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As lockdown continues, Owen Jones speaks to private renters about how the pandemic has affected them. From activists in tenants' unions and NHS workers struggling to find accommodation to students who’ve had their final terms disrupted and are left unsure about what to do with their accommodation, he asks them if they are worried about what comes next 

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Despite a decade-old financial crisis that has crippled its hospitals, Greece appears to be keeping its coronavirus outbreak under control, with a far lower death toll than many other European nations. Dr Yota Lourida, Infectious Diseases specialist at Sotiria hospital in Athens, explains how it dealt with the crisis, and the steps taken by the country to mitigate against potentially catastrophic outcomes

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Lebanon’s coronavirus lockdown has sent an economy already in deep trouble into freefall, and many are struggling to survive. Gino Raidy is an activist who was prominent during the October 2019 anti-government corruption protests. Now, with many fearing hunger and believing there is nothing left to lose, he is helping to keep demonstrators safe as they demand real and lasting change

• You think we care about masks?': anger and poverty grip Lebanese city

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Russian media pours scorn on Europe, but the only progressive way forward for our common continent is together

In the early 1990s Russia used to have a strong sense of belonging in Europe. This began to change: the post-Soviet shock therapy reforms were a punishing transition to a free-market society, when a kilogram of sausage cost about the same as a monthly pension and many families experienced malnutrition and hunger. The sudden shift to a more “westernised” way of running the economy left many impoverished, which was eventually capitalised on – after the oligarchic power wars – by a new political leader who embraced a conservative, nationalist rhetoric: Vladimir Putin.

Today, Russian television presenters feed us stories about a European continent in decay, where “aggressive migrants” run amok, where social services take children away from their parents for being “slapped”, where “sexual minorities” destroy traditional families.

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For a while supper and wine were sufficient; now I’m watching every adaptation that is better than its source material

I suspect I’m not alone in this but, at some point in the past two weeks, I hit my lockdown wall. Not literally, although apparently the “banging one’s head against the kitchen wall” phase kicks in on the eighth week, so that’s something to put in the diary. But last week I felt really, really over it. Enough with every day being the bloody same; enough with watching my children become increasingly fretful because they haven’t seen their friends in over a month, the equivalent of five years to a pair of four-year-olds. But unless you want to be one of those delightful people protesting the lockdown in the US, clothed in stars and stripes, AK-47s across their backs, what choice do we have? So, like Bill Murray, we grind out the same day, again and again and again.

The trick is to invent things to look forward to. For a while, “supper” and “wine” were sufficient, but repetition has dulled their efficacy. So I set myself challenges, driven on by the thrill of completion. Some people hear the word “challenge” and think, “Fitness!” Those people are not me. “Rewatch the entirety of 30 Rock” is more my speed. It is so soothing to watch a show about a luxuriantly bouffanted New York tycoon who isn’t a moron. In a just world, Jack Donaghy would be the US president instead of, well, you get the point. Then, sparked by his brilliant turn as Chris Tarrant on the ITV drama, Quiz, my next challenge was, “Watch every Michael Sheen performance in which he plays a real person”. This was deeply enjoyable, even if, in my lockdown-confused mind, I now think Brian Clough interviewed Richard Nixon on TV and Kenneth Williams was prime minister when Diana died.

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You’d think during a pandemic we’d all have gained a little perspective – but policing female bodies and appetites is a timeless trend

Sign up for the Week in Patriarchy, a newsletter​ on feminism and sexism sent every Saturday.

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Resuming the season is absurd and the ‘safety’ ideas are terrible, but whatever football decides it must decide together

“You eat alone, you choke.” During the years of plenty it became a habit to compare the Premier League’s wielding of power – always with a note of admiration – to the structures of a mafia family.

It isn’t hard to see why: the hierarchy of captains, the beautifully ruthless sense of unity, of a cartel of self-propelling interests. And yet the thing about mafia families is that now and then those interests start pulling in different ways. In mob lore breaking ranks is sometimes referred to as “eating alone”, with a certainty that bad things follow – and worst of all that bad business follows.

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They have a middle-class reputation, but one outdoor school near Nottingham is reconnecting disadvantaged 10-year-olds with nature and a sense of freedom

When Kate Milman was 21, she paused her English degree at the University of East Anglia to join protests against the Newbury bypass. It was 1996, and the road was being carved out through idyllic wooded countryside in Berkshire. She took up residence in a treehouse, in the path of the bulldozers, and lived there for months. It was a revelation. She lived intimately with the catkins, the calling birds, the slow-slow-fast change in the seasons. Despite being in a precarious position as a protester, she felt completely safe and her brain was calmed.

“You know when you go camping and go back to your house, and everything feels wrong? The lighting is harsh and everything seems complicated indoors. It just got under my skin, this feeling – that [living in the woods] is like being at home.”

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