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The Galaxy’s Greatest Detective

Vader really is the galaxy's greatest detective because he kills anyone who doesn't give him the answers he wants. Just watching him walk up to you, pipe in face mask, fire in his eyes, intimidates you into giving away who the murderer on Cherry St. is. Also, his Force sensitivity is greater than anyone else's. He can just sense if the killer is hiding in the cupboard under the staircase. He doesn't even have to look. He'll hold his lightsaber up to the door and activate it, making it thrust through the guy. This is the kind of shirt you wanna wear around your torso if you're in the middle of writing a genre-bending fan fiction. $7-21 | URL | Paypal Credit | S - 3XL ')}

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CodeSOD: All the Rest Have 31

Horror movies, as of late, have gone to great lengths to solve the key obstacle to horror movies- cell phones. When we live in a world where help is a phone call away, it's hard to imagine the characters not doing that. So screenwriters put them in situations where this is impossible: in Midsommar they isolate them in rural Sweden, in Get Out calling the police is only going to put our protagonist in more danger. But what's possibly more common is making the film a period piece- like the X/Pearl/Maxxxine trilogy, Late Night with the Devil, or Netflix's continuing series of R.L. Stine adaptations.

I bring this up, because today's horror starts in 1993. A Norwegian software company launched its software product to mild acclaim. Like every company, it had its ups and downs, its successes and missteps. On the surface, it was a decent enough place to work.

Over the years, the company tried to stay up to date with technology. In 1993, the major languages one might use for launching a major software product, your options are largely C or Pascal. Languages like Python existed, but weren't widely used or even supported on most systems. But the company stayed in business and needed to update their technology as time passed, which meant the program gradually grew and migrated to new languages.

Which meant, by the time Niklas F joined the company, they were on C#. Even though they'd completely changed languages, the codebase still derived from the original C codebase. And that meant that the codebase had many secrets, dark corners, and places a developer should never look.

Like every good horror movie protagonist, Niklas heard the "don't go in there!" and immediately went in there. And lurking in those shadows was the thing every developer fears the most: homebrew date handling code.

/// <summary>
/// 
/// </summary>
/// <param name="dt"></param>
/// <returns></returns>
public static DateTime LastDayInMonth(DateTime dt)
{
	int day = 30;
	switch (dt.Month)
	{
		case 1:
			day = 31;
			break;
		case 2:
			if (IsLeapYear(dt))
				day = 29;
			else
				day = 28;
			break;
		case 3:
			day = 31;
			break;
		case 4:
			day = 30;
			break;
		case 5:
			day = 31;
			break;
		case 6:
			day = 30;
			break;
		case 7:
			day = 31;
			break;
		case 8:
			day = 31;
			break;
		case 9:
			day = 30;
			break;
		case 10:
			day = 31;
			break;
		case 11:
			day = 30;
			break;
		case 12:
			day = 31;
			break;
	}
	return new DateTime(dt.Year, dt.Month, day, 0, 0, 0);
}

/// <summary>
/// 
/// </summary>
/// <param name="dt"></param>
/// <returns></returns>
public static bool IsLeapYear(DateTime dt)
{
	bool ret = (((dt.Year % 4) == 0) && ((dt.Year % 100) != 0) || ((dt.Year % 400) == 0));
	return ret;
}

For a nice change of pace, this code isn't incorrect. Even the leap year calculation is actually correct (though my preference would be to just return the expression instead of using a local variable). But that's what makes this horror all the more insidious: there are built-in functions to handle all of this, but this code works and will likely continue to work, just sitting there, like a demon that we've made a pact with. And suddenly we realize this isn't Midsommar but Ari Aster's other hit film, Hereditary, and we're trapped being in a lineage of monsters, and can't escape our inheritance.

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Preserved tracks suggest non-avian dinosaurs used their wings to run

Not all winged dinosaurs were necessarily capable of full flight, but this anatomical feature may have enabled them to travel further by flapping or gliding




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Amateur sleuth finds largest known prime number with 41 million digits

The largest prime number is now 16 million digits longer than the previous record found in 2018, thanks to an amateur hunter and his large collection of high-power graphics cards




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All your questions about Marburg virus answered

Everything you need to know about Rwanda's outbreak of Marburg virus, which has been described as one of the deadliest human pathogens




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AI helps driverless cars predict how unseen pedestrians may move

A specialised algorithm could help autonomous vehicles track hidden objects, such as a pedestrian, a bicycle or another vehicle concealed behind a parked car




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Oldest tadpole fossil known to science dates back 161 million years

A fossil of a tadpole from Argentina is 161 million years old - and isn't that different from some modern species




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World's largest tree is also among the oldest living organisms

DNA analysis suggests Pando, a quaking aspen in Utah with thousands of stems connected by their roots, is between 16,000 and 81,000 years old




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How a single gopher restored a landscape devastated by a volcano

Never underestimate what a single gopher can achieve in a day: one of the burrowing mammals helped boost soil fungi in an area blanketed by ash from the explosive eruption of Mount St Helens in Washington state




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20 Of The Cutest Itty Bitty Kitties That Can Easily Fit In The Palm Of Your Hand (November 9, 2024)

Good morning, cat people, and welcome back to the most dangerous, spooky listicle that will shake you to your core and leave you trembling. Do not be fooled by the title. While it is indeed true that this listicle is full of itty bitty kitties that can fit in the palm of your hand, that does not mean that it is not dangerous. In fact, it's much more dangerous than you think. These teeny weeny kitties have incredible powers of meownipulation. They can make us do all kinds of things, whether we want to or not. 

They even force us to write this listicle every single week, showcasing the tiniest kittens - i.e. the biggest criminals of the week. Beware of their powers when you start scrolling down, because before you know it, you may end up walking to a shelter in search of your fourth kitten to adopt. Trust us, we have been there, continue with caution. 




est

24 Funniest Feline Posts for Meme-Loving Cat Pawrents to Meow Caturday Cheer Throughout the Holiday Season

Hey, I Can Has-ers. Now that Meowlloween is over, it's officially time for us to start prepping for the meowlidays. Every Caturday is a holiday for us, and the fact that we get to have tasty meals and days off from work on other holidays is just an added bonus. Heck, even Christmas could use some Caturday energy. How should we do that, you ask? Well, by adding cat memes to our meowlidays and enjoying the best of both worlds while remaining chonky, cheery, and pawsitively ameowzing.

These funny feline posts are for meme-loving cat pawrents, and meme-loving cat pawrents only! If you're not one of these, you can just close the screen. Be gone!

Okay, now that it's just us, let's scroll through these hisstercal kitties in the form of digital delights. Are you in your jammies? Are you purrfectly snuggled under a blankie? Are you ready to meow Caturday cheer for the next two months? Good. Now let's get to work! And by work, we mean giggling. It's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it! 




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The Freshest and Funniest Feline Tweets of the Week (November 10, 2024)

Happy meowrning, cat people! Yes, yes, we know… it's been a rough few days. But we're here now. It's Sunday, i.e. Funday, and we are indeed ready to put all the craziness behind us and have some fun. Now, we don't know about your plans for today, but we do know one thing, and that is that you have to start your Sunday here, with us, and with all of the pawsome cat memes that we are about to bring you. 

Because no matter what is happening in the world, starting the day with hissterical cat memes is good for your soul. And that's why we bring you this collection of the very best cat posts on X every single week. Because going onto that app without protection means possibly encountering the madness, so we are here to do the protecting and give you exactly what you would go there looking for. Have a purrfect Sunday, guys! 




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28 Fortunate Floofy Funny Felines in Furtastic Memes to Meownifest Purrfectly Pawesome Positivity

Hey, feline fam. We don't know about you, but after our Caturdays filled with feline activities and catnip craziness, we like to unwind with some cat memes to mentally prepare ourselves with pawsitivity for the week ahead. Mondays can turn even the brightest, sweetest feline into a cranky, grumpy cat - which is why we need to boost our mewd with feline funnies so we don't scratch somebody's eyes out tomorrow meowrning. It only happened once, and that was because they tried to talk to us before we had our coffee. We did warn them, to be fair.

With these fortunate floofy funny felines in furtastic memes, we expect to wake up with chirps of happiness and ek-ek-eks of excitement to start the day. Okay, that might be exaggerating a little bit, but it never hurts to meownifest good vibes! If not, we'll just call in sick and stay home with our cats all day. It's only the 10th time we've done it in the last month. Our boss will understand, right?




est

Black Cat Starts Mysteriously Losing Its Color, Other Vexed Void Owners Question When Their Cute Cats Go From Midnight to Moonlight

We may or may not be a helicopter cat pawrent - meaning that we may or may not go to Google for every pawssible thing that might be wrong with our cats. Their meow sounds a little different than normal? Google. They all of a sudden start sleeping in a random spot we've never seen them sleep in before? Google. They didn't eat the food that they normally love? Google. Most of the things we google end up being purrfectly fine (we are not prone to overreaction, not one bit). But if our black cat started losing its beautiful black color, now that would be a thing to google!

There are a few pawssible explanations for this: the first is a meowgnificent genetic trait called "vitiligo" - which causes cats to lose pigment in their fur, giving them unique and rare fur patterns. Another option is called a "fever coat", which is a temporary change in a cat's fur pigment due to illness or stress. The last, and final option that we know of, is that this black beauty is just getting old. Either way, you'd be surprised how many vexed void owners chimed in with their black cats that went from midnight to moonlight. Scroll down to see all these fading felines below!




est

Heartless Owner Returns Cat to Shelter Because She ‘Wanted to Cuddle Them at Night’, Then Her New Hooman Un-Breaks Our Hearts and Shows She’s Living Her Snuggliest Life Now

Look, we have heard stories of cats being returned to shelters. We have heard people say that they felt like they had no choice. The couldn't afford taking care of a cat anymore, they found out they were allergic… there are all kinds of reasons. At least everyone who returns a cat is a heartbroken, at least that's what we thought. We never imagined that someone would do it because the cat they adopted wanted to cuddle with them at nighttime. 

Everyone wants a velcro cat, right? Cuddly cats are the best! Cuddling with your cat is one of the best feelings in the world. The trust they show you, the love, the calmness that being so close to them gives you… there is nothing quite like it. To complain about a cat being too cuddly is like complaining about something being too tasty. It's silly. And ridiculous. And thank goodness that this sweet girl is now in the hands of someone who actually deserves her. 




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K Manga Adds 'I Don't Want to Be Killed By You, My Crown Prince!', My Reveal Skill is OP! -Taking from Legendary Heroes to Become the Strongest Manga

Also: The Great Queen Victoria Winner Ostwen Has Arrived! launches in English




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Attack on Titan Anime Gets Orchestral Concert World Tour in April-November 2025

13 venues in N. America, 8 venues in Europe, 1 venue each in Singapore, Australia




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KenIchi the Mightiest Disciple's Shun Matsuena Launches New Manga (Updated)

Matsuena launches Kichijōji Shōnen manga on December 12




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With anti-trans bigotry on the rise, “Dreaming of the Transcestors” is a necessary work

"I really appreciated that instead of simply highlighting one queer aspect of history," writes Sprocket Wagner, "this zine emphasizes the encompassing nature of queerness throughout time: that it is everywhere and always has been."

Continue reading With anti-trans bigotry on the rise, “Dreaming of the Transcestors” is a necessary work at The Wild Hunt.




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braised chickpeas with zucchini and pesto

Last summer, when my younger child joined my older child at sleepaway camp for a month for the first time, leaving us unmoored and a little restless, we made a list of restaurants we’d been meaning to try and friends we don’t see enough and took this task on like it was our job. I barely cooked once. By the end of the third week, everything hurt and we realized our template for a child-free life (going out late, cocktails on weeknights, and generally behaving despicably) was based on our age and energy level when we were last child-free, which (I’m sorry as this fact seems to upset you guys as much as it does his actual parents) was almost 15 years ago.

Read more »




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easiest cinnamon rolls

What if I told you I had a from-scratch cinnamon roll recipe that was effortlessly veganized, required no kneading, and could be coming out of your oven in just over two hours? And what if I told you’d I’d been making it for years and didn’t tell you about it because I thought, for some bizarre reason, that the site didn’t need another breakfast bun recipe? Yes, I’d throw a jar of cinnamon at my head too. Good news, though, you can stop yelling now because I’ve come to my senses.

Read more »




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SBTB Bestsellers: October 5 – October 18

This week’s bestseller list is brought to you by sweet and salty snacks, a weighted heating pad, and our affiliate sales data!




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Sunday Sale Digest!

This piece of literary mayhem is exclusive to Smart Bitches After Dark, but fret not. If you'd like to join, we'd love to have you! Have a look at our membership options, and come join the fun! If you want to have a little extra fun, be a little more yourself, and be part of keeping the site open for everyone in the future, we can’t wait to see you in our new subscription-based section … Continue reading Sunday Sale Digest!




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Sunday Sale Digest!

This piece of literary mayhem is exclusive to Smart Bitches After Dark, but fret not. If you'd like to join, we'd love to have you! Have a look at our membership options, and come join the fun! If you want to have a little extra fun, be a little more yourself, and be part of keeping the site open for everyone in the future, we can’t wait to see you in our new subscription-based section … Continue reading Sunday Sale Digest!




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Let’s Talk About Some of the Latest Cover Re-Designs

This piece of literary mayhem is exclusive to Smart Bitches After Dark, but fret not. If you'd like to join, we'd love to have you! Have a look at our membership options, and come join the fun! If you want to have a little extra fun, be a little more yourself, and be part of keeping the site open for everyone in the future, we can’t wait to see you in our new subscription-based section … Continue reading Let’s Talk About Some of the Latest Cover Re-Designs




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SBTB Bestsellers: October 19 – November 1

Our latest bestseller list is brought to you by crunchy leaves, discounted bags of candy, and our affiliate sales data.




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Sunday Sale Digest!

This piece of literary mayhem is exclusive to Smart Bitches After Dark, but fret not. If you'd like to join, we'd love to have you! Have a look at our membership options, and come join the fun! If you want to have a little extra fun, be a little more yourself, and be part of keeping the site open for everyone in the future, we can’t wait to see you in our new subscription-based section … Continue reading Sunday Sale Digest!




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Sunday Sale Digest!

This piece of literary mayhem is exclusive to Smart Bitches After Dark, but fret not. If you'd like to join, we'd love to have you! Have a look at our membership options, and come join the fun! If you want to have a little extra fun, be a little more yourself, and be part of keeping the site open for everyone in the future, we can’t wait to see you in our new subscription-based section … Continue reading Sunday Sale Digest!




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Question Worth Asking

Could be!




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Asking The Hard Questions

Hi Tai




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He's Just Asking Questions

Questions, questions




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Questionable Context

Get it???




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Questionable Posture

These two…




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the worlds oldest person

Today on Toothpaste For Dinner: the worlds oldest person


This RSS feed is brought to you by Drew and Natalie's podcast Garbage Brain University. Our new series Everything Is Real explores the world of cryptids, aliens, quantum physics, the occult, and more. If you use this RSS feed, please consider supporting us by becoming a patron. Patronage includes membership to our private Discord server and other bonus material non-patrons never see!




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if you dont like it gravestone

Today on Toothpaste For Dinner: if you dont like it gravestone


This RSS feed is brought to you by Drew and Natalie's podcast Garbage Brain University. Our new series Everything Is Real explores the world of cryptids, aliens, quantum physics, the occult, and more. If you use this RSS feed, please consider supporting us by becoming a patron. Patronage includes membership to our private Discord server and other bonus material non-patrons never see!




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im not doing my best

Today on Toothpaste For Dinner: im not doing my best


This RSS feed is brought to you by Drew and Natalie's podcast Garbage Brain University. Our new series Everything Is Real explores the world of cryptids, aliens, quantum physics, the occult, and more. If you use this RSS feed, please consider supporting us by becoming a patron. Patronage includes membership to our private Discord server and other bonus material non-patrons never see!





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25-year-old employee requests off to attend a funeral, micromanager demands for proof of the service: 'After this, I want to quit'

The last thing anyone wants when they are going through a family emergency is to have to deal with your micromanaging boss simultaneously. Here, we have an employee who took one day off to attend the funeral service of a family member. He did not request any bereavement leave or anything more than just the one day of paid time off he was certainly entitled to based on his contract. 

However, upon his return to the office, his micromanaging supervisor demanded for proof that he did, in fact, take time off to attend a funeral service. Apparently, this was because he also had to dip out early one day due to a dentist appointment. The supervisor's own boss was skeptical about the whole thing and forced the supervisor to request for proof. Now, all the employee wants to do is leave the company with no notice instead.

Keep scrolling below for the full story and for the best reactions from folks in the comments section. For more, check out this post about a 40-year-old company man who was passed over for a promotion in favor of a much younger coworker.




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'Leaving was the best thing I did': Employer of 3 years hires new employee at $30k higher than experienced worker, they quit

It's no secret that a lot of employers in as many industries allocate more budget to hiring than they do to staff retention. This is a bit silly when you consider that large organizations will go on to spend tens of thousands of dollars on recruiting, onboarding, and training processes—in addition to value lost due to lost time and productivity of vacant roles. Though some of this cost is silent or not immediately apparent on the books and, in contrast, the idea of approving even half that money in the upfront cost of giving a raise is daunting. While this is an organizational flaw that often occurs, there are, of course, more intentional reasons why employers choose not to give their workers even deserved raises.

Whatever the reason or cause, unfortunately, this ends up with a turnover of the most experienced staff who are frustrated at their own lack of advancement and pay that is falling behind the market rate, discovering that new hires are being paid more than them despite their experience and contribution.

That's what this worker in a "niche" field discovered had happened when they learned that their employer of 3 years had hired a new hire at $30k more than they were currently earning. Frustrated, they found a new job as fast as possible.





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25 of the Best Test Fails This Week (November 11, 2024)

No one forgets the experience of seeing a question on an exam and realizing you have absolutely no idea what to put down. If you could cough up a decent answer, you would. However, this time, you are completely stumped.

Perhaps you're not used to this phenomenon. Perhaps you were the kind of student who always studied and yet, for whatever reason, the topic presented in this one question was a complete blind spot for you in your preparation. If you're clever, you can find a way to connect the question to an adjacent, related topic that you do know something about. Unfortunately, sometimes, there is no dancing around the reality that you can't smooth talk your way out of this one. A lot of these students had fun with the fact that they were 100% failing their exams. After all, if you're going to fail, you might as well fail gloriously.

Keep scrolling below for this collection of exam fails. For more content like this, check out these employees who got petty with their customers. 




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The Best Ever Chopsticks Ever




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rest in peace, bob newhart

When I worked on Big Bang Theory, each episode involved a few days of rehearsal before we did camera blocking and the actual taping in front of the audience. Most […]




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Josh has some questions

Comics Curmudgeon readers! Do you love this blog and yearn for a novel written by its creator? Well, good news: Josh Fruhlinger's The Enthusiast is that novel! It's even about newspaper comic strips, partly. Check it out! Rhymes With Orange, 11/10/24 Hey, everybody. Have you ever wondered if demons, the dark angels who have turned […]



  • Crock
  • Dennis the Menace
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Nicola Sturgeon to headline comedy festival show

The former First Minister will be joined by crime author Val McDermid for a night entitled "Books & Banter".




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Restaurant workers' jobs threatened by Budget, bosses warn

Hospitality bosses are calling for changes to what they describe as "unsustainable" tax rises.




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Covid inquiry told Treasury blocked NHS bed request

NHS England chief executive Amanda Pritchard says the decision, in July 2020, was very disappointing.




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Man arrested over knife incident outside Parliament

A man wearing a red hooded top was seen handcuffed and surrounded by police outside Parliament.