Vader really is the galaxy's greatest detective because he kills anyone who doesn't give him the answers he wants. Just watching him walk up to you, pipe in face mask, fire in his eyes, intimidates you into giving away who the murderer on Cherry St. is. Also, his Force sensitivity is greater than anyone else's. He can just sense if the killer is hiding in the cupboard under the staircase. He doesn't even have to look. He'll hold his lightsaber up to the door and activate it, making it thrust through the guy. This is the kind of shirt you wanna wear around your torso if you're in the middle of writing a genre-bending fan fiction. $7-21 | URL | Paypal Credit | S - 3XL ')}

Horror movies, as of late, have gone to great lengths to solve the key obstacle to horror movies- cell phones. When we live in a world where help is a phone call away, it's hard to imagine the characters not doing that. So screenwriters put them in situations where this is impossible: in Midsommar they isolate them in rural Sweden, in Get Out calling the police is only going to put our protagonist in more danger. But what's possibly more common is making the film a period piece- like the X/Pearl/Maxxxine trilogy, Late Night with the Devil, or Netflix's continuing series of R.L. Stine adaptations.

I bring this up, because today's horror starts in 1993. A Norwegian software company launched its software product to mild acclaim. Like every company, it had its ups and downs, its successes and missteps. On the surface, it was a decent enough place to work.

Over the years, the company tried to stay up to date with technology. In 1993, the major languages one might use for launching a major software product, your options are largely C or Pascal. Languages like Python existed, but weren't widely used or even supported on most systems. But the company stayed in business and needed to update their technology as time passed, which meant the program gradually grew and migrated to new languages.

Which meant, by the time Niklas F joined the company, they were on C#. Even though they'd completely changed languages, the codebase still derived from the original C codebase. And that meant that the codebase had many secrets, dark corners, and places a developer should never look.

Like every good horror movie protagonist, Niklas heard the "don't go in there!" and immediately went in there. And lurking in those shadows was the thing every developer fears the most: homebrew date handling code.

/// <summary>
/// 
/// </summary>
/// <param name="dt"></param>
/// <returns></returns>
public static DateTime LastDayInMonth(DateTime dt)
{
	int day = 30;
	switch (dt.Month)
	{
		case 1:
			day = 31;
			break;
		case 2:
			if (IsLeapYear(dt))
				day = 29;
			else
				day = 28;
			break;
		case 3:
			day = 31;
			break;
		case 4:
			day = 30;
			break;
		case 5:
			day = 31;
			break;
		case 6:
			day = 30;
			break;
		case 7:
			day = 31;
			break;
		case 8:
			day = 31;
			break;
		case 9:
			day = 30;
			break;
		case 10:
			day = 31;
			break;
		case 11:
			day = 30;
			break;
		case 12:
			day = 31;
			break;
	}
	return new DateTime(dt.Year, dt.Month, day, 0, 0, 0);
}

/// <summary>
/// 
/// </summary>
/// <param name="dt"></param>
/// <returns></returns>
public static bool IsLeapYear(DateTime dt)
{
	bool ret = (((dt.Year % 4) == 0) && ((dt.Year % 100) != 0) || ((dt.Year % 400) == 0));
	return ret;
}

For a nice change of pace, this code isn't incorrect. Even the leap year calculation is actually correct (though my preference would be to just return the expression instead of using a local variable). But that's what makes this horror all the more insidious: there are built-in functions to handle all of this, but this code works and will likely continue to work, just sitting there, like a demon that we've made a pact with. And suddenly we realize this isn't Midsommar but Ari Aster's other hit film, Hereditary, and we're trapped being in a lineage of monsters, and can't escape our inheritance.

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Last summer, when my younger child joined my older child at sleepaway camp for a month for the first time, leaving us unmoored and a little restless, we made a list of restaurants we’d been meaning to try and friends we don’t see enough and took this task on like it was our job. I barely cooked once. By the end of the third week, everything hurt and we realized our template for a child-free life (going out late, cocktails on weeknights, and generally behaving despicably) was based on our age and energy level when we were last child-free, which (I’m sorry as this fact seems to upset you guys as much as it does his actual parents) was almost 15 years ago.

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What if I told you I had a from-scratch cinnamon roll recipe that was effortlessly veganized, required no kneading, and could be coming out of your oven in just over two hours? And what if I told you’d I’d been making it for years and didn’t tell you about it because I thought, for some bizarre reason, that the site didn’t need another breakfast bun recipe? Yes, I’d throw a jar of cinnamon at my head too. Good news, though, you can stop yelling now because I’ve come to my senses.

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This piece of literary mayhem is exclusive to Smart Bitches After Dark, but fret not. If you'd like to join, we'd love to have you! Have a look at our membership options, and come join the fun! If you want to have a little extra fun, be a little more yourself, and be part of keeping the site open for everyone in the future, we can’t wait to see you in our new subscription-based section … Continue reading Sunday Sale Digest! →

This piece of literary mayhem is exclusive to Smart Bitches After Dark, but fret not. If you'd like to join, we'd love to have you! Have a look at our membership options, and come join the fun! If you want to have a little extra fun, be a little more yourself, and be part of keeping the site open for everyone in the future, we can’t wait to see you in our new subscription-based section … Continue reading Sunday Sale Digest! →

This piece of literary mayhem is exclusive to Smart Bitches After Dark, but fret not. If you'd like to join, we'd love to have you! Have a look at our membership options, and come join the fun! If you want to have a little extra fun, be a little more yourself, and be part of keeping the site open for everyone in the future, we can’t wait to see you in our new subscription-based section … Continue reading Let’s Talk About Some of the Latest Cover Re-Designs →

Our latest bestseller list is brought to you by crunchy leaves, discounted bags of candy, and our affiliate sales data.

This piece of literary mayhem is exclusive to Smart Bitches After Dark, but fret not. If you'd like to join, we'd love to have you! Have a look at our membership options, and come join the fun! If you want to have a little extra fun, be a little more yourself, and be part of keeping the site open for everyone in the future, we can’t wait to see you in our new subscription-based section … Continue reading Sunday Sale Digest! →

This piece of literary mayhem is exclusive to Smart Bitches After Dark, but fret not. If you'd like to join, we'd love to have you! Have a look at our membership options, and come join the fun! If you want to have a little extra fun, be a little more yourself, and be part of keeping the site open for everyone in the future, we can’t wait to see you in our new subscription-based section … Continue reading Sunday Sale Digest! →

Could be!

Hi Tai

Questions, questions

Get it???

These two…

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