Shriver’s contentious views on diversity thread through the story of a couple’s strained relationship with exercise

Lionel Shriver’s scabrously funny 15th novel presents a dyspeptic view of people in thrall to exercise. In 2013 Shriver’s own daily regime involved “130 press-ups, 200 side crunches, 500 sit-ups and 3,000 star jumps … The jumps take 32½ minutes, or three every two seconds”. The Motion Of The Body Through Space was written, she recently revealed, after she realised that she may be more dedicated to her exercise than to her writing.

The protagonist, Serenata Terpsichore (“rhymes with chicory”), is a 60-year-old woman from upstate New York with a beguiling voice and ruined knees. The former she puts to lucrative use as a voiceover artist and narrator of audiobooks. The latter are the result of a lifetime’s adherence to the doctrine of working out; in particular the belief that 10-mile runs are the key to longevity and good health.

First there was crowded Bondi, then the deserted beaches, cordoned off with police tape. If you look closely, a whole nation can be read on the sand

A country reveals itself in a crisis. Americans are buying a record number of guns, in the UK Boris Johnson was reluctant to implement a full lockdown because he baulked at the idea of closing the pubs. In Australia, it is our beaches that are the metaphorical hills that we are metaphorically dying on.

Yeah, we want to beat this virus, but we also want to get a swim in.

Lockdown Britain has embraced the sausage, with sales up 33%. But there’s much more you can do with them than fry-ups, sandwiches and casseroles

When you Google famous quotes about sausages (say you need an opener for an article), one of the first comes from Phoebe Waller-Bridge, who apparently once said: “Sausages are just funny. I don’t know why. I can’t explain it.”

Waller-Bridge is not wrong. Sausages are inherently funny. But their comedic value is also what holds them back. In the kitchen, no one takes sausages seriously. You very rarely see anyone serving sausages on Come Dine With Me; it would be an act of self-sabotage. You cannot win with sausages. They’re a culinary joke, unrefined, a bit naff.

In the past year Australia’s energy minister has been swept up in two scandals. The past week has brought developments in both. Anne Davies explains what questions he has yet to answer

You can read Lisa Cox’s and Anne Davies’ latest updates on the Jamland grass poisoning here and more on the doctored document saga here.

8 May marks the 75th anniversary of the end of the second world war in Europe. Parts of the destruction that resulted from the fight for Berlin are still visible decades later

A selection of archive photographs to mark the 75th anniversary of Victory in Europe Day

A serious concern since the emergence of Covid-19 has been whether those who have had it can get it a second time – and what that means for exiting this crisis.

The Guardian’s science correspondent, Hannah Devlin, looks at how our bodies fight coronavirus when infected, how we develop immunity and if we can get reinfected with Covid-19

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To mark 250 years since British explorers landed in Australia for the first time, authorities are planning to unveil new memorials at Captain James Cook's landing site in Botany Bay, while a replica Endeavour sailing vessel will circumnavigate Australia – when Covid-19 restrictions allow. But one Aboriginal elder, who grew up on the shores of Botany Bay and has spent years involved in the resurrection of his Indigenous Dharawal culture, explains why Aboriginal people will not be celebrating

• Paul Daley: Commemorating James Cook’s arrival, Australia should not omit his role in the suffering that followed

With comedy festivals cancelled around the world, Amazon Prime is releasing 10 original Australian standup specials to tide you over. Filmed at Melbourne's Malthouse theatre during the Before Times, the biweekly series has featured names like Celia Pacquola, Zoë Coombs Marr and Dilruk Jayasinha – with Tom Gleeson, Anne Edmonds and Tom Walker coming up soon. A few minutes of each is being published exclusively on Guardian Australia, and this week we have Judith Lucy, from her 2019 tour Judith Lucy vs Men

• Two Amazon Original standup specials will be released each week from 10 April. Amazon Prime is offering a 30-day free trial here

With comedy festivals cancelled around the world, Amazon Prime is releasing 10 original Australian standup specials to tide you over. Filmed at Melbourne's Malthouse theatre during the Before Times, the biweekly series has featured names like Celia Pacquola, Zoë Coombs Marr and Dilruk Jayasinha – with Tom Gleeson and Anne Edmonds  coming up soon. A few minutes of each is being published exclusively on Guardian Australia, and this week we have the exceptionally odd new show from Tom Walker, which was directed by Zoë Coombs Marr.

• The full version of Tom Walker's Very Very is released today. Amazon Prime is offering a 30-day free trial here

With comedy festivals cancelled around the world due to the coronavirus crisis, Amazon Prime is releasing 10 original Australian standup specials to tide you over. The biweekly series was filmed at Melbourne's Malthouse Theatre and has featured Celia Pacquola, Zoë Coombs Marr and Dilruk Jayasinha. A few minutes of each is being published exclusively by Guardian Australia and this week we have eventual Gold Logie winner Tom Gleeson's show Joy. Come to hear about the disgusting wonders of parenting; stay for the killer punchline 

• The full version of Tom Gleeson's Joy is out now. Amazon Prime is offering a 30-day free trial here

Corporate watchdog’s move comes after a court earlier banned Mayfair 101 from advertising two other products

The corporate watchdog is looking into a new investment product issued by Mayfair 101, the group that has bought the cyclone-ravaged Dunk Island resort, after alleging in court that it had misled people by comparing its previous offerings to bank term deposits.

On Thursday, the Australian Securities and Investments Commission issued a general warning against advertisements that compare fixed-interest products to bank term deposits as part of a broader crackdown on potentially misleading marketing by investment groups.

Nicholas David Weston found guilty of four counts of rape of 19-year-old woman during her 2017 stay at his city apartment

An Airbnb superhost has been jailed for raping a young woman in Melbourne while she was visiting the city with her friend.

Nicholas David Weston was found guilty of four counts of rape of the 19-year-old woman over the horror stay at his Melbourne CBD apartment in November 2017.

NSW Health assessment the cruise ship was ‘low risk’ introduced ‘an unfortunate element’ into his decision-making

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A New South Wales harbour master has told an inquiry he “did not understand” an email that told him to treat the Ruby Princess “as if it has a positive Covid-19 result” when it came into Sydney Harbour on 18 and 19 March.

Cameron Butchart, who was the duty harbour master on 18 March, said NSW Health’s assessment that the ship was “low risk” introduced “an unfortunate element” into his decision-making.

Victoria Cross recipient’s suit against Nine newspapers can’t be held until in-person hearings resume after coronavirus

The highly anticipated defamation trial brought by Victoria Cross recipient Ben Roberts-Smith against the Age and the Sydney Morning Herald will not go ahead next month after the federal court ruled a remote hearing under Covid-19 rules may breach national security.

The delay in the case came as justice Anthony Besanko said he had to consider whether to delay the trial despite a submission that Roberts-Smith and his family are suffering from the ongoing publication of articles by the Nine newspapers.

‘Sophisticated’ identity theft attack leads to Australian Tax Office stopping early super withdrawals until Monday

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Allegations of identity theft involving 150 Australians have forced the government to pause the early release of superannuation, after police froze $120,000 believed to have been ripped off from retirement savings.

On Friday the assistant treasurer, Michael Sukkar, announced the Australian Tax Office would pause requests for early access of superannuation until Monday “out of an abundance of caution” to consider further anti-fraud protection.

A 16-year-old Aboriginal boy was forced to remove his shorts and squat during a search, but disciplinary action has not been recommended

A New South Wales police watchdog investigation into seven strip searches including one in which a 16-year-old Aboriginal boy was physically forced to remove his shorts and squat has found that all of them were unlawful.

But the watchdog has been criticised for “not going far enough” in its findings, with Sarah Crellin, a principal solicitor at the Aboriginal Legal Service, saying she was “deeply disappointed that there have been no recommendations for disciplinary action” against individual officers.

Australian National Audit Office evidence to Senate appears to contradict Morrison’s claim that he provided no authorisation

The prime minister’s office asked Bridget McKenzie to seek Scott Morrison’s “authority” for intended recipients of $100m of sports grants and coordinate the announcement with Coalition campaign headquarters, according to new evidence to the sports rorts inquiry.

The evidence from the Australian National Audit Office to the Senate inquiry contradicts Morrison’s claims that McKenzie, the former sports minister, was the ultimate decision-maker for the grant program, and that changes were not made after parliament was dissolved.

Queen guitarist says ‘I won’t be able to walk for a while’ after injury during lockdown and lambasts Boris Johnson over coronavirus

Brian May has complained of “relentless pain” after he was taken to hospital following a gardening injury that tore muscles in his buttocks – and, while in recovery, made a sustained attack on Boris Johnson’s preparedness for coronavirus.

Writing on Instagram, the Queen guitarist said: “I managed to rip my gluteus maximus to shreds in a moment of overenthusiastic gardening. So suddenly I find myself in a hospital getting scanned to find out exactly how much I’ve actually damaged myself. Turns out I did a thorough job – this is a couple of days ago – and I won’t be able to walk for a while … or sleep, without a lot of assistance, because the pain is relentless.”

The comic essayist on crying over Olive Kitteridge, his love for Richard Yates and the books that make him laugh

The book I am currently reading
Hidden Valley Road. It’s a nonfiction book about a family with 12 children, half of whom turn out to be schizophrenic. In the opening pages the mother sews a live bird’s eyes shut. And she’s one of the few who isn’t mentally ill!

The book that changed my life
Kurt Vonnegut’s Breakfast of Champions. A friend read it out aloud to me when we were hitchhiking across America in 1976, and it made me think: “That’s right – books!” After high school I had forgotten about them. As soon as I got a stable address, I secured a library card, and started making up for lost time.

Too many connection drop-outs, too many missed cues: at least phone calls are intimate

This week, a parcel presumed lost arrived. It was from my mum. Inside was a mask she’d sewn; sunflower seeds to plant; an Easter egg and a card: “To my lovely daughter, I miss you so much!” it read. “Absence truly makes the heart grow fonder. But indifference doesn’t. Video call me. Mum xx”

My mum and I are very close. We speak most days and would usually visit weekly; if it were up to her, it would be more. Her dream is to have all her children, our partners and someday grandchildren living under the same roof. One big happy family, bonded by love, loyalty, south Asian melodrama and unsolicited comments about weight.

Ugly makeup is imperfect, sloppy, chaotic – and only worn to please the wearer, against social expectations

In 2018, Rosanna Meikle felt like a failure. She was toiling through beauty school, and she hadn’t been able to find much work nor garner much attention for her creations online. She was exhausted from the sameness she saw around her, “a sea of beautiful girls, smoky eyes and plumped lips”, she remembers. “My school was in an expensive area of Auckland, which made me feel so out of place. I couldn’t afford the products or the clothes, my kit wasn’t ‘professional’ enough and neither was my look.”

Related: ‘It makes me feel human’: 11 women share their lockdown beauty regimens

Around the 19-minute mark, I noticed something odd; it wasn’t that I felt any less out of breath than normal, but I felt detached

Mindfulness is the last thing I want to practise while running. When I’m really up against a wall (which is to say, after four minutes), the only thing that keeps me going is listening to Maniac and imagining I’m that gorilla in a paddling pool. So I approached this with a closed mind, and discarded a lot of podcasts because they were too woo-hoo, or because you had to listen to them before you run (“no headphones” is a typical mindful runner’s instruction), or because the person had an annoying voice. Finally, I settled on The Milestone Pursuit podcast, by a likable blokey Londoner, Steve Hobbs. He didn’t sound at all spiritual; he sounded like a person who would help you with your bike if your chain came off.

He has one mindful episode that I’ve listened to seven or eight times. Total convert. But full disclosure: I’ve never got to the end. It lasts 36 minutes, and I still don’t run for that long. So it’s partly suspense that keeps me going back.

My immediate reaction was fear. I bent down and shouted at him. He bolted upright, spluttering and looking a bit wild

It was early on a Monday morning, about 5.30am, and I’d got up to use the toilet. Afterwards, I nipped into the kitchen to get a drink. As I stood at the sink, I could hear snoring from the living room. At first I thought it was the dog. Then I realised it wasn’t. I went into the room to find a stranger asleep on the sofa. He was wearing a grey Adidas tracksuit and, bizarrely, only one shoe. I stood there in my shorts and T-shirt, staring at him.

My immediate reaction was fear. I live in a modern block of four flats on a busy road in Kilmarnock, about 20 miles south of Glasgow. The main door to the block is a buzzer-entry, secure entrance. My front door is also locked and the dog, a labradoodle called Molly, normally barks like anything when anyone comes through the door. You’d have to really know what you were doing to break in.

Is it all moot because of the deadly virus infecting Australia and no I don’t mean the National party ahahaha

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Those less convinced in Australia cast doubt on source of Wuhan lab ‘intelligence’. Plus: Trump and Jennifer Hawkins

The origin of the coronavirus has opened up a new battlefield between the Murdoch press and just about everyone else – and given the Daily Telegraph’s Sharri Markson an international platform on Rupert Murdoch’s Fox News.

Following in the footsteps of her colleague Miranda Devine, who also made it onto Fox News, Markson told Tucker Carlson Tonight the “bombshell dossier” she had uncovered showed some of the world’s foremost intelligence agencies were investigating whether the virus was linked to a lab in Wuhan.

News Corp is campaigning full-bore for the US president, with reports of a Wuhan lab ‘intelligence’ dossier being seeded across its empire

In liberal democracies, the integrity, impartiality and professionalism of intelligence agencies matters. That’s why it is essential that intelligence agencies remain aloof, not only from the political debates of the day, but also from the policy decisions that individual governments may take. The intelligence community’s core task is to provide brutally realistic analysis on the threat environments we face so that governments can then make the best-informed policy decisions possible to preserve our common security.

The failures of the intelligence community before the Iraq war, the gullibility of much of the western media, as well as the cynical manipulation of both by the political class of the day, provide us with a stark reminder of what can go radically wrong. On 8 September 2002 the New York Times published one of this century’s most consequential news articles. The front-page story, supplied by the Bush administration, claimed that Saddam Hussein had stepped up his quest for weapons of mass destruction by acquiring key components for a nuclear weapon. In the UK, the Blair government’s “dodgy dossier” compounded the error. John Howard did the same in Australia. The problem was that it just wasn’t true. These were over-egged stories designed to soften the public up for what would become a disastrous war.

A Derek Underwood-inspired England – assisted by the Oval’s resourceful spectators – beat the final-day flood, clock and Australian resistance to start my lifelong obsession with cricket

I was clearing out some old papers a while back when a small pink slip fell out. Even after 50 years I knew instantly what it was because it had been stuck to my bedroom wall when I was a teenager: indeed the old brown shadows of the tape were still there. It was the ticket for my first day’s Test cricket: the fifth Test against Australia at the Oval on 22 August 1968: Derek Underwood’s match and the game that started a lifelong obsession.

We joined my friend Matthew and his mother – two teenagers, what were we thinking of, taking our mothers? – and caught an early train from deepest Berkshire. London was a big, strange place where we rarely ventured and never as far south as SE11. We were square to the wicket and the players were so distant as to be indistinct, almost lost against the crowd.

• Alex Wurz calls measures to deal with coronavirus ‘immaculate’
  
• ‘F1 can be pioneer’ for other sports to follow, says GPDA chief

The Grand Prix Drivers’ Association is confident the precautions being taken by Formula One mean the sport stands every chance of resuming as planned in Austria on 5 July.

Alex Wurz, chairman of the GPDA, will reassure his members that Formula One has put the safety of everyone involved at the forefront of its plans to return to racing after attending a meeting with F1 and the FIA on Friday.

From hosting the remainder of the Premier League season in Perth to the UFC Fight Island concept, ideas have ranged from bold to crazy

“When you’re going through hell, keep going.” Winston Churchill might not have had the coronavirus pandemic in mind when trotting out that particular gem, but trust him to find the right words almost a century before the fact. The Churchillian equivalent of “keep calm and carry on” is a mantra embraced by much of society right now, and sport is no different.

While health remains the primary concern in all walks of life, sporting bodies the world over have found themselves engaged in sessions of radical thinking to stave off looming economic ruin. In what predicament other than a global crisis could the term “NRL Island” be anything other than a genius concept for reality television?

Is Australia flattening the curve? We bring together all the latest Covid-19 confirmed cases, maps, stats and graphs from NSW, Victoria, Queensland, SA, WA, Tasmania, ACT and NT to get a broad picture of the Australian outbreak and track the impact of government response.

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Due to the difference in reporting times between states, territories and the federal government, it can be difficult to get a current picture of how many confirmed cases of coronavirus there are in Australia.

Here, we’ve brought together all the figures in one place, along with comparisons with other countries.

The morality brigade loathed the hit teen horror on release but hockey mask-wearing villain Jason Voorhees has been with us ever since

Before production on the teen slasher A Long Night at Camp Blood had even started, before a final draft of the screenplay had even been submitted, thirtysomething writer-producer-director Sean S Cunningham decided to make an audacious statement. Not only would he use an advert in the industry paper Variety to confirm an inarguably ingenious title change but he would also use it to declare that his next film would be the most terrifying ever made, after a decade that saw The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Last House on the Left (which he also produced), The Exorcist and Halloween.

Related: Final Destination at 20: the bleakest teen horror film ever made?

Lockdown has granted me the blessing of getting to know my father, but it has also underlined the severe health inequalities we face

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I hardly recognise the man in front of me. He staggers on one leg, his eye twitches, his stomach stretches past his waist.

“I got some fry bread for us,” he grins, his toothless smile reminding me he is getting old and so am I.”

In this extract from her Griffith Review essay the author wrestles with ageing and the deep need to keep writing

Why did they ask me for an essay about stopping writing? And why did I say yes? Did I tell someone I’d stopped? Have I stopped? I could, if I wanted to, couldn’t I? I’m 77 and I’m pretty tired. And lately I think I’ve copped what the French call “un coup de vieux”: a blow of old. I’ve got arthritis in my left wrist, my right knee gives twinges, and my left foot sometimes aches and stabs all day. Other days, nothing hurts at all. I don’t know what this means.

I am an old woman.

With more Australian artists being asked to play for free in the lockdown, many are asking if it might do more harm than good

If live music died in mid March, it’s sure been noisy at the funeral. On platforms old and new, live gigs performed at home have streamed from trickle to tidal wave, breaking over the mobile devices of captive audiences. Global gig guide aggregator Bands In Town has added a livestream dropdown, and a new Australian state has been ceded by Eventfinda and tucked alphabetically between Victoria and Western Australia: the state of “Virtual”.

For fans it’s been fun. We’re loving seeing musicians’ pets and plants and enormous fingers fumbling for the flip screen button and, unless we’ve bought a URL ticket, there’s scandalously little to lose by dropping into, and out of, a show.

From accidentally making money due to currency fluctuations, to paying down debt, for some Australians cancelled overseas trips have had surprising windfalls

From June 2018 to June 2019, the Australian Bureau of Statistics says Australians made a record 11.3 million trips overseas – double the number of trips just 10 years ago. In the wake of the Covid-19 pandemic, millions of Australians have been forced to cancel or alter their international travel plans.

This has left many Australians struggling to get refunds from travel providers. Flight Centre was charging $300 in processing fees per person, in some cases leading to fees that cost more than the value of the refund, until the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission stepped in and threatened legal action, causing the company to waive fees for trips cancelled by travel providers. The ACCC also warned travel providers against retroactively changing their cancellation policies after tour companies including Topdeck and Intrepid attempted to retrospectively apply updated refund policies that would force customers to take credit rather than cash for cancelled trips.

Each Saturday we add 15 (or so) new songs to a Spotify playlist to soundtrack your physical distancing amid coronavirus – and help artists you love get paid

We’ve published a bunch of articles about how the coronavirus crisis has impacted the Australian arts industry. But there are small things you can do. It’s an imperfect solution, but streaming Australian music can help.

Each week, in partnership with Sounds Australia, Guardian Australia will add some 15 new songs to a playlist for you to put on repeat.

Some people have found returning to the family home a blessing, but for others it has been anything but smooth sailing

Covid-19 has reshaped geographic boundaries. It has left many financially distressed. Expatriates have returned from overseas for indefinite periods of time, and vulnerable people require more help than usual. For all these reasons, and many more, adult children have found themselves doing something that might previously have been unthinkable: moving back in with their parents.

Some are finding the experience transformative. One woman, who left New York for her parent’s rural home, told me that the space and country air have made her reconsider whether she will ever return to the city. But there are also downsides. “I’m craving male attention more than I ever have before,” she confessed. When flirting over apps stopped cutting it, she wound up ordering a vibrator in an unmarked box, and fended off her younger siblings in order to retrieve it from the mailbox.

They’ve faced drought, extreme heat and bushfires, and now they have to deal with a new paranoia courtesy of the pandemic

Australia’s bats are turning up in increasing numbers in city suburbs. But as they search for food, they’re bringing for some a newfound paranoia thanks to a global pandemic that likely sprang from one of their overseas relatives.

In Ingham in far north Queensland, an influx of more than 200,000 little red flying foxes in January was variously described as a “swarm”, a “tornado” and an “infestation”.

One study suggests one in three people from 16 to 64 have been victims of image-based abuse. But most will never step foot in a police station

When Laura* was 14, she was convinced that her boyfriend was the love of her life. So, when several girls messaged her to say he had sent them a video of her drunk and engaging in a sexual act, she told herself they were lying.

“I was just like, ‘Oh, you don’t know anything about our relationship. I don’t believe you,’” she says. “But after we broke up, he pretty much sent it to everyone that I knew.

As the US deals with a Covid-19 catastrophe in its meatworks, the Melbourne factory points to the potential for outbreaks in Australia

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Working in an abattoir at the best of times is tough. The hours are long, the labour is intensive and, for rank and file labourers, the pay is low.

Now, in the Covid-19 crisis, workers have one more thing to worry about – around the world their factories have proved to be a hotbed of infection. As Australia moves to ease lockdown laws, meat workers may still be at the frontline of exposure and infection.

The cardinal maintains he didn’t know about the Victorian town’s notorious paedophile priests, a claim the royal commission found ‘implausible’

“Why isn’t all of Australia talking about what happened here in Ballarat?”

That’s the question Clare Linane remembers asking her husband, Peter Blenkiron, 12 years ago as they were sitting in the kitchen talking about his abuse. Linane’s husband, brother and cousin had all been abused when they were children between 1973 and 1974 by Christian Brother and now convicted paedophile Edward “Ted” Dowlan. They knew they were among thousands of people living in and around Ballarat – Victoria’s largest inland city – who had been affected by child sexual abuse perpetrated by clergy.

Trad says she will cooperate with investigation into allegation she interfered in appointment of school principal

Queensland’s deputy premier and treasurer, Jackie Trad, has stood down from ministerial duties over an investigation into the appointment of a Brisbane principal.

The Crime and Corruption Commission (CCC) is investigating the recruitment and selection process for the principal of the Inner City South Secondary College.

Deep recessions have long shadows and already there is a gaping hole opening up in our pandemic response

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The great recession was followed by Brexit, the election of Donald Trump and the rise of authoritarianism particularly in Europe.

Big economic events have big political consequences.

Politicians have set a high bar for themselves – success on coronavirus has created community expectations that will be challenging to shift

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“Let’s not give everything back, let’s not throw away all the progress we’ve made by letting our frustration get the better of us.” This was Daniel Andrews on Friday afternoon, shortly after national cabinet resolved to gradually restart economic and social activity by July.

The Victorian premier wanted people to understand he’d be hastening slowly – the message being here in the Massachusetts of Australia, we decide how quickly we’ll remove coronavirus restrictions. We don’t apply an arbitrary national average.

Paul Kelly warns people over 70 and with existing diseases are at high risk from coronavirus as pandemic restrictions ease

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The deputy chief medical officer, Paul Kelly, is warning people to take care if visiting mums on Mother’s Day, as frictions emerge over the lockdown in Victoria.

In some states, authorities are allowing people to pay family visits on Sunday as coronavirus pandemic restrictions are eased, but Kelly has restated warnings that people over 70 and with existing chronic diseases are at high risk from coronavirus.

It's been years since Coyote Peterson was stung by a Japanese giant hornet -- a subspecies of the Asian giant hornet -- but the American wildlife educator vividly remembers how the sting immediately felt like a 'red hot fire poker' being shoved into his skin, followed by residual, almost unbearable pain that lasted for hours.

The Toronto Zoo announced on Wednesday it had successfully hatched a baby Madagascar spider tortoise, its first successful hatching of the critically endangered species.

Insect experts say people should calm down about the big bug with the nickname "murder hornet" -- unless you are a beekeeper or a honeybee.

The European Space Agency said Friday that human urine could one day become a useful ingredient in making concrete to build on the moon.