I do not want to be alive. This is not a new development; I first voiced this opinion to my mother when I was five years old, and it has persisted through the subsequent four decades despite therapy, a vast array of medications, and multiple forms of invasive treatments that have made my existence even less bearable while having no affect on my depression (or, as I think of it, my identity and most fundamental self). Given the opportunity to press a button and fast-forward to my deathbed, I'd do it without hesitation. But these Nazi motherfuckers will not leave the people I love alone. They are forcing me to stay alive, even though I hate every minute of it, just so I can contribute my meager skills to the war effort against them. You have no idea how furious I am, because all I want is to die, and they won't let me, because if I did I'd be ceding the world to them, and I refuse to do that without exhausting every drop of blood within me. If I can't have a single moment of joy, peace or happiness, then neither can they.

Two things:

1. Narrow your focus to your sphere of influence, just for now, because in this moment of helplessness and defeat, when we are feeling powerless, it behooves us to remember we do have immense power. Kamala Harris was never going to bring a casserole to your neighbor when their spouse was in the hospital, that's you. Donald Trump cannot steal the laughter from your friends' lips when you tell them a joke, that laughter is entirely in your power. You have the power to choose connection, fellowship, mutual aid, joy, hard work, love, passion, devotion, faith. To me, remembering that I have power is cause for hope.

2. When you're out there using your power to connect with your fellow human beings, look for the helpers. Take heart in their existence, their perseverance. Do everything you can to become one of them.

The woman who I worked with as Justice of the Peace, who won by five votes last time (2 years ago) was a problem, believed in a lot of conspiracy theory stuff and was a time-waster being very vocal about it at our abatement and civil authority meetings. I was also on the ballot this year (and won handily) but I told people that i didn't care who they voted for as long as it was NOT HER and she lost and in the very small pond of my town's abatement and civil authority boards, things will go much more smoothly.

Also I made kid ballots and had two contests: dragon vs unicorn (a tie, with one write-in for "pegasis") and winter vs summer (winter won handily) and kids seemed to enjoy that and the "future voter" stickers we gave them.

I don't disagree with the advice already provided, but I think you're using the word "boundary" in an odd way. You don't get to set boundaries on other people's behaviour, even when you're married to them. You can set a boundary around your own behaviour, then other people decide how they'll respond.

In this case, you might say: if you continue a friendship with B, our relationship will be at an end. Then, the ball is in R's court - he can decide what to do next.

I'm sorry you've been through so much lately, but I think you are definitely catastrophizing. I'd say the likelihood you'll be a target of political violence is pretty close to zero. I would suggest you stop reading the news/Reddit for a bit if it's causing you to feel this way - go for walks in your new neighborhood, make plans to see your friends in the city, etc.

Fresh off the latest meeting about incorporation, and I want to say: thank you to the moderators and Jessamyn who keep the site going and thank you to the volunteers past and present putting in work to build new possibilities for the site, including making it easier for more people to volunteer and contribute in different ways.

I'm also truly proud of the decision made early on by the volunteers to do things together, even if that meant slowing down. I'm the kind of person who sees a problem and goes into fix-it mode as fast as possible. Practicing on a hugely meaningful project like Metafilter to listen and consider all of our viewpoints and work through to a communal path was hard. It was sometimes frustratingly slow! But by the second half of our timeline, I can see now that we get important things done faster and faster and how strong the foundation we've built is (heh, bad pun) because we've got trust and a collaborative thoughtful process.

I'd also like to recognise the people who took a deep breath before writing a reply in a high-termperature thread, the people who edited down the snark in their comments or thought - I'll change to the thread about kitten videos instead. It is hard to be civil and think about other people when they're text on a screen - and it's harder when so much media encourages profit by provoking yelling.

Metafilter is an internet third space that isn't trying to profit actively from yelling. And sometimes we gotta yell in some threads - but most of the time we talk, and I so so appreciate having a third space where people can talk without an algorithm aimed at our lizard brains.

I am the son of a Holocaust survivor. When my dad was 11, his parents put him and his 13 year-old brother on a boat, alone, from their home in Amsterdam so they could come to America and escape the Nazis.

Hilariously, just one generation later, this website suggests I get back on the boat and return to exactly the same place for exactly the same reason.

This does sound very much like your anxiety latching on to a potential future and you getting stuck in that.

Others can give you advice about dealing with this particular scenario.

But here are some things to remember:

Seeking reassurance from others usually results in your anxiety getting worse, as their advice makes the imaginary danger seem more real.

No amount of rehearsing and imagining and ruminating will make you any safer. In fact, trying to prepare for this scenario means you're staying in the anxiety space for longer.

Don't try to fight your scary thoughts, don't argue with yourself. Just note the thought and briefly describe what you're doing to yourself in a non judgemental way.

"I'm arguing with an imaginary person right now"

"I'm trying to predict the future"

"I'm ruminating right now."

"I'm seeking reassurance"

You have the power to reassure yourself, and THAT kind of reassurance really works.

Change catastrophising thoughts into compassionate realism.

"I don't know what might happen in the future, but I'm going to cope with it when it dies"

"It's possible that this frightening thing might happen, and it might be unpleasant, but I will deal with it if it does and then it will just be another memory."

Find ways to distract yourself from your spiralling thoughts. I like explaining a topic I'm really interested in out loud to myself as a way to drown out stuck thoughts.

Trying to prepare for something that *might* happen just means you're making yourself be in that horrible scary worry space for much longer than it would take for the scary thing to happen. You can't control wether or not this thing you fear will happen, but you can control how much you focus on it.

Distraction is good! Be with people you enjoy, watch a comfort show, dance to music you love, do something to make yourself feel good.

My marriage is only monogamish, so I'm saying this with some bias towards polyamory:

If your spouse want to prioritize this friendship over your stated boundary, then your spouse is prioritizing the friendship over your marriage.

In this case, you really don't have to explain why. In fact, I'd stop explaining why. It's not a comprehension problem. It's that your partner doesn't want to do what you are asking.

Here's the words I would use: I do not want you to continue this friendship. If you do, I am going to have to take steps towards ending our marriage. We should discuss this in counselling.

In other words even in marriages where there's less emphasis on monogamy, the main thing is that you have to respect your partner's limits, or else you aren't partners. I'm sorry your partner is putting you through this.

White people are very invested in treating racism as extreme and exceptional when it is in fact commonplace and pervasive. White people are not credible judges of what non-white people describe as experiences of racism. Racism is the Occam's Razor explanation. These so-called academic framings describe patterns that white people would prefer remain undescribed.

In real life I moved to Japan from the U.S. years ago. Didn't soften the blow of the election one whit.

Wherever you go, there you are.

I work in a women's health clinic that does first-term abortions as one of its services.

We have a comment form on our web site where people who want to volunteer as patient escorts can reach out. Typically, we get about one or two inquiries a week.

Yesterday alone, we got twenty-five.

This doesn't take "Will the destination country even accept you as an immigrant" into consideration.

I'm moving to Cozylandia under my duvet and I'm never coming out.

My situation is not exactly the same as yours but it is a story of how to get along with friends and family who are on the total opposite side of the aisle, so perhaps you can find something to help you in my strategies.

My parents are extremely right wing - in India. It is mortifying and horrifying enough that they are this way but to make things worse my mother is also deep into conspiracy theories on a similar scale and off-the-charts-insane like QAnon in the US. At the same time I am also still engaged in a decade-long effort to build a decent relationship with my parents. So even though this is a self-imposed form of hell, the fact remains I am trying to actively love (as in verb-love) these people whose political opinions horrify me and who ruined their relationship with me in the past by throwing me out of their home as a teenager, abusing me as a child, etc.

Step 0 in accomplishing this task is to actually be clear, honest, and fully committed with yourself that you do want to keep and build these relationships.

For many years I was on the fence about it and I made no effort at all to build a relationship with my parents. That was fine! If you are here, you are not doing anything wrong! And neither will you be doing anything wrong if you do choose to walk away properly from people who trigger you too much. Many years after not working and fence-sitting, I intellectually realized I wanted to fix things but emotionally I remained uncommitted, angry, resentful, and blisteringly mad about how unfair it was that *I* was the one doing this fixing and building. This was also a valid stage to go through, and I suspect you're somewhere around here, feeling angry and hurt and torn within yourself that these are your fucking choices: to learn how to get along with assholes or else to lose all your family and friends. The unfairness REALLY RANKLES. This is extremely valid and extremely real, and there is no way out of this stage but through it. But sadly, no forward movement will happen FOR YOU EMOTIONALLY in this phase, as far as making your peace with your situation goes. (Also no forward movement will happen in fixing the relationship but that is not necessarily a bad thing, if you're in this stage.)

Accomplishing Step 0 - becoming fully and truly committed to building and maintaining these relationships - is a hue, huge task in itself. I would strongly encourage you to work with a psychodynamic therapist or some other modality that pays attention to childhood issues, in order to get to Step 0. You will know you have reached Step 0 when you can "radically accept" that your friends and family voted against your life, your rights, and your wellbeing. That is who they are, this is what you are dealing with, and you no longer have any wish to wrestle with this reality (try to convince them, try to lead by example, try to explain yourself, try to talk to them, try to get them to acknowledge your pain or at least be forced to see it, etc) because you. just. fully. accept their political position is their political position - you accept their total separateness from you and you accept their right to be separate from you - and even though you may be angry, even though you may be hurt, even though you still hate their politics, you want to just get on with building the relationship. If you're there, then you can move on to

Stratagem 1: find things you enjoy about this person, and trying to do things you mutually enjoy with them. Even the smallest movement towards identifying and then amplifying the good (by having small good interactions) will help. Repeated good interactions are what finally defeated my insecurity about "giving my parents an inch" - it felt so threatening to me to have anything nice with these people against whom I was nursing so much anger, and I TREASURED my anger, I didn't want to lose it! Having repeated nice experiences made me feel like, okay, I still haven't lost my right to anger or my anger even though I am having fun with them. Both my anger and my love can coexist. This has been a HUGE relief.

Stratagem 2: stop talking politics with them entirely. These are not your politics buddies. FIND OTHER POLITICS BUDDIES YOU CAN RELIABLY GET SUPPORT FROM for the political side of you. This type of compartmentalization is a healthy practice because nobody can be everything to us. Nobody in our personal life can check all the boxes and be everything we need from the world. People's failings are sometimes located near the very things we consider "basic shit". They are human, and this is okay, and we can find others to fill this basic need for us.

Stratagem 3: This may seem like the opposite of Stratagem 2 but it is not - don't stay silent when your friends and family say horrible political things to you or around you. You don't bring up politics but you don't stay quiet when unacceptable things are spoken in your vicinity. You MUST say something, you MUST speak your mind. Make it short but make it honest. Otherwise you build up an incredible amount of resentment and anger that will poison the relationship and run counter to your Step 0 goals.

Stratagem 4: After you say it, move on without belaboring your point or trying to get them to agree with you. Say it, and then completely let it go. Saying it is the point. The goal is NOT to change them, move them, make them think like you, make them acknowledge you, make them apologize, etc. The goal is unburdening yourself by speaking your truth, protecting the relationship by not allowing thoughts to fester in secret. If what they have said is horrible, say, "Wow, that's pretty horrible," and then move on immediately - warmly, affectionately, taking the sting out of it with your manner, without holding a grudge. You get your satisfaction by speaking up, not by making them bend. This strikes a great balance between being authentic and yet sidestepping useless conflict.

Stratagem 5: If they want to argue with you, you have to learn how to bow out smoothly without engaging in that. Say things like, "Oh, dad, that's fine, we can let it go. Tell me about Auntie's health..." Again it is important to remain non-retaliatory, don't punish them for wanting to hash this out by being angry. Be calm and warm and affectionate, but do not be moved into engaging in the political discussion. Walk out and take a short break if you need to. But come back on your own as soon as possible, and be loving. These are your people. You have boundaries with them, not walls.

I'm usually allergic to a lot of the way "find the bright side" kind of things are framed, but this extended quotation from Great Tide Rising by Kathleen Dean Moore came across my Mastodon feed and really resonated with me.

Over the years, college students have often come to my office distraught, unable to think of what they might be able to do to stop the terrible losses caused by an industrial growth economy run amok. So much dying, so much destruction. I tell them about Mount Saint Helens, the volcano that blasted a hole in the Earth in 1980, only a decade before they were born.

Those scientists were so wrong back in 1980, I tell my students. When they first climbed from the helicopters, holding handkerchiefs over their faces to filter ash from the Mount Saint Helens eruption, they did not think they would live long enough to see life restored to the blast zone. Every tree was stripped gray, every ridgeline buried in cinders, every stream clogged with toppled trees and ash. If anything would grow here again, they thought, its spore and seed would have to drift in from the edges of the devastation, long dry miles across a plain of cinders and ash. The scientists could imagine that– spiders on silk parachutes drifting over rubble and plain, a single samara spinning into the shade of a pumice stone. It was harder to imagine the time required for flourishing to return to the mountains – all the dusty centuries.

But here they are today: On the mountain, only thirty-five years later, these same scientists are on their knees, running their hands over beds of moss below lupine in lavish purple bloom. Tracks of mice and fox wander along a stream, and here, beside a ten-foot silver fir, a coyote's twisted scat grows mushrooms. What the scientists know now, but didn't understand then, is that when the mountain blasted ash and rock across the landscape, the devastation passed over some small places hidden in the lee of rocks and trees. Here, a bed of moss and deer fern under a rotting log. There under a boulder, a patch of pearly everlasting and the tunnel to a vole's musty nest. Between stones in a buried stream, a slick of algae and clustered dragonfly larvae. Refugia, they call them: places of safety where life endures. From the refugia, mice and toads emerged blinking onto the blasted plain. Grasses spread, strawberries sent out runners. From a thousand, ten thousand, maybe countless small places of enduring life, forests and meadows returned to the mountain.

I have seen this happen. I have wandered the edge of Mount Saint Helens vernal pools with ecologists brought to unscientific tears by the song of meadowlarks in this place.

My students have been taught, as they deserve to be, that the fossil-fueled industrial growth culture has brought the world to the edge of catastrophe. They don't have to "believe in" climate change to accept this claim. They understand the decimation of plant and animal species, the poisons, the growing deserts and spreading famine, the rising oceans and melting ice. If it's true that we can't destroy our habitats without destroying our lives, as Rachel Carson said, and if it's true that we are in the process of laying waste to the planet, then our ways of living will come to an end – some way or another, sooner or later, gradually or catastrophically – and some new way of life will begin. What are we supposed to do? What is there to hope for at the end of this time? Why brother trying to patch up the world while so many others seem intent on wrecking it?

These are terrifying questions for an old professor; thank god for the volcano's lesson. I tell them about the rotted stump that sheltered spider eggs, about a cupped cliff that saved a fern, about all the other refugia that brought life back so quickly to the mountain. If destructive forces are building under our lives, then our work in this time and place, I tell them, is to create refugia of the imagination. Refugia, places where ideas are sheltered and encouraged to grow.

Even now, we can create small pockets of flourishing, and we can make ourselves into overhanging rock ledges to protect life so that the full measure of possibility can spread and reseed the world. Doesn't matter what it is, I tell my students; if it's generous to life, imagine it into existence. Create a bicycle cooperative, a seed-sharing community, a wildlife sanctuary on the hill below the church. Raise butterflies with children. Sing duets to the dying. Tear out the irrigation system and plant native grass. Imagine water pumps. Imagine a community garden in the Kmart parking lot. Study ancient corn. Teach someone to sew. Learn to cook with the full power of the sun at noon.

We don't have to start from scratch. We can restore pockets of flourishing life ways that have been damaged over time. Breach a dam. Plant a riverbank. Vote for schools. Introduce the neighbors to one another's children. Celebrate the solstice. Slow a river course with a fallen log. Tell stories of how indigenous people live on the land. Clear the grocery carts out of the stream.

Maybe most effective of all, we can protect refugia that already exist. They are all around us. Protect the marshy ditch behind the mall. Work to ban poisons from the edges of the road. Save the hedges in your neighborhood. Boycott what you don't believe in. Refuse to participate in what is wrong. There is hope in this: An attention that notices and celebrates thriving where it occurs; a conscience that refuses to destroy it.

From these sheltered pockets of moral imagining, and from the protected pockets of flourishing, new ways of living will spread across the land, across the salt plains and beetle killed forests. Here is how life will start anew. Not from the edges over centuries of invasion; rather from small pockets of good work, shaped by an understanding that all life is interdependent, and driven by the one gift humans have that belongs to no other: practical imagination – the ability to imagine that things can be different from what they are now.

I actually got paid to do this.

For three years (from 1996 to 1999) I worked as a Public Information and Consultation Advisor for the Federal Treaty Negotiation Office in British Columbia. It was essentially my job to talk to angry and racist non-native people about the land claims settlements we, the federal government, were negotiating with First Nations.

One thing that helped me do this job was a story I heard Utah Phillips tell at the 1997 Vancouver Folk Music Festival. Seems one day he was told of an old cowboy in New Mexico who was dying. This old cowboy had ridden on some of the last cattle drives on the Great Plains in the 1800s and had scores of songs in his head about that time. Utah made an effort to go visit him on his death bed way out in the desert. When he got to the cowboy's cabin, a nurse answered the door, said he was expected and asked him to wait in the sitting room while she got the cowboy ready for the visitor.

The cowboy was an avid reader and had many hundreds of books. As he was waiting Utah scanned the shelves and saw what was what. He was surprised and shocked to see tract after tract from the John Birch Society, a virulent right wing political movement that clashed deeply with Utah's own hard left politics. Utah reflected on the predicament he was in. Here was this cowboy full of all of these songs, and there was this irresolvable political gap between them.

But thinking on it more, Utah realized that the REASON the cowboy had so many political books is that he didn't actually KNOW much about politics. In fact if he were to ask the old man about politics, he knew the old man would only give him lies, stuff that he didn't believe but that was recited out of the books. Utah Phillips noted that there was not one book on cowboys or cowboy music on the book shelves, and that's what Utah was there for. He entered the bedroom of the dying cowboy and passed a lovely day trading songs and stories of the cattle drives of the 19th century.

In conclusion Utah said "You know, if you talk to people about what they know, they will always tell you the truth."

That line stayed with me as I ventured in cowboy country shortly afterwards. I was meeting with a group of loggers and ranchers in Williams Lake, in the interior of British Columbia and they were a hard crew. Every month we met and every month they told me that they didn't want any land claims settlements with the "goddamn Indians" in their area. One guy, a man I'll call Bob used to go on and on about "you can't make deals with Indians, they can't be trusted, they're no good with their word..." That sort of thing.

Now I am Aboriginal myself, and this rankled after a while. But keeping Utah's words in mind I challenged Bob one day and said, "Bob, you know, I'm Indian and I'm trustworthy and you can make deals with me. I know for a fact that what you're saying is bullshit. It's lies. So I'm not going to ask you about Indians anymore. Instead I'm going to talk to you about something you do know about, and that is logging. Why don't you take me out to see your operation?"

Bob agreed and the next day I met him at 5:00am with a thermos of coffee and a box of Tim Hortons and we climbed into his F350 and headed out into the Cariboo Mountains. We drove for two hours and the whole time we talked about logging and what it's like being in the business, what kind of markest he was trying to develop, and how much he loved his new machinery He talked about his new feller-buncher like he was a dad with a newborn. Gone was the intransigent racist and here beside me was an interesting man, telling me the truth about what he loved.

When we got out to the cut block where his crew was working, he radioed them in and they came down to get coffee and donuts. Of the 12 guys he had working for him, six were First Nations. I laughed when I met them and asked them if they knew Bob's opinions on the trustworthiness of Indians. "Oh yeah," One of them laughed. "He's an old blowhard!"

But Bob countered by saying that THESE guys were great, that they had been with him for coming on 20 years. THEY were different.

We laughed. Really hard. We talked for a while about what THESE guys felt about land claims and they all had different opinions. Respect arose in the space of nuance and reflection.

So many people parrot opinions. In fact opinions are so often just a front for something else, the yawning abyss of ignorance. Very few people hold fixed opinions about things that matter deeply to them. Instead the hold nuanced and thoughtful interests. That's not to say that I wouldn't claw your eyes out if you hurt my child, but that's different from having an opinion on Tiger Woods or abortion or whether or not Obama is doing a good job. Most of us aren't Tiger, a pregnant woman facing a choice or the President. Most opinions are shallow, and the holder of them guards their superficiality with outrage and emotion to prevent you from getting close and discovering nuance. People hold opinons out of fear or loyalty. But when it comes to something you really care about, it's less about an opinion and more about the nuanced, many layered, complex fabric of knowledge, practical, theoretical, aspirational and emotional

From that day on, I never again talked to Bob about First Nations people, but he became a very involved person in our advisory committee because he had a piece of his heart staked in the process. I came to respect him very much, even though he continued to blow hard against my rookie colleagues and say stupid racist things that somewhere he must have believed. He did it just to put them off guard, to protect his own vulnerabilities and mask his fear. I came to respect what lay beneath the opinion, which was a real fear that land claims would ruin his logging operation. I dismissed the racism but respected Bob and what was really at stake for him. And I think he came to respect me too.

It was the best job I ever had.

Cesia Baires knocks on the three apartment doors above her restaurant and a neighboring taqueria just before curfew. A woman opens the door. Her two young children are inside. "Remember," she says to them in Spanish. "Same thing as yesterday. I'm going to come check on you. If there's anything you guys need, give us a call right away." Meanwhile, a few men climb through the window and on to the roof to set up semi-automatic weapons as the curfew begins in Minneapolis. It's something Baires never thought she would have to do as a small-business owner, but then she found out these apartments were occupied. "Material things we can replace, that's true," she says. "But there are families up here. These aren't empty buildings." A car drives by boarded-up businesses as it crosses Lake Street in Minneapolis. Volunteers, sometimes armed, are working together to protect homes and businesses. Jim Urquhart for NPR As break-ins and fires raged in the first days of mass protests over the killing of

Editor's note: NPR will be continuing this conversation about Being Black in America online and on air. As protests continue around the country against systemic racism and police brutality, black Americans describe fear, anger and a weariness about tragic killings that are becoming all too familiar. "I feel helpless. Utterly helpless," said Jason Ellington of Union, N.J. "Black people for generations have been reminding the world that we as a people matter — through protests, sit-ins, boycotts and the like. We tried to be peaceful in our attempts. But as white supremacy reminds us, their importance — their relevance — comes with a healthy dose of violence and utter disrespect for people of color like me." For more than a week, tens of thousands of people have thronged cities nationwide, staging protests. The demonstrations were triggered by the death of 46-year-old George Floyd while in police custody in Minneapolis on Memorial Day. Floyd, a black man, died while a white police officer

Although New Zealand is about as far — in miles, at least — as you can get from Minneapolis, protests have erupted there over the killing of George Floyd. The Indigenous Maori people in particular have pushed back against police use of force, which disproportionately affects them. At first glance, the context seems quite different. New Zealand police don't usually carry firearms. The reason goes back to the 19th century British aversion to creating a police force too much like a military. In general, if New Zealand police officers need to use a gun, there is one in a lockbox in their car that they can use with a supervisor's permission. But after a white nationalist gunned down 51 people in two mosques last March in Christchurch, New Zealand's police introduced a pilot program to send heavily armed police teams on patrol in three communities. One of these communities was around Christchurch. The other two were far away in counties near the city of Auckland. The police said it would

The police killings of George Floyd , Eric Garner and other black men and women began with allegations of a minor offense, such as passing a counterfeit $20 bill or selling individual, untaxed cigarettes. Misdemeanors — these types of low-level criminal offenses — account for about 80% of all arrests and 80% of state criminal dockets, says Alexandra Natapoff, a law professor at the University of California at Irvine and author of Punishment Without Crime . "It's surprising to many people to realize that misdemeanors — these low-level, often chump-change offenses that many of us commit routinely without even noticing it — make up the vast majority of what our criminal system does," Natapoff tells NPR's Ari Shapiro on All Things Considered . "The offenses can include everything from traffic offenses to spitting, loitering, trespassing, all the way up to more serious offenses like DUI or many domestic violence offenses," she says. "It's ... the vast majority of ways that individuals

The growing calls for systemic reform of American policing follow years of rising anger at the ongoing deaths of African Americans at the hands of law enforcement, including the recent killing of George Floyd. The calls for change run the gamut from severely restricting police use of deadly force, creating a national database of abusive officers and re-directing taxpayer money away from police toward social programs that improve education and tackle crises including homelessness, poverty and mental health care . But one key problem has gotten less attention: the conflict of interest, real and perceived, between prosecutors and police unions. When district attorneys run for the office they get political donations from a range of interests including powerful, well-funded police unions who represent the officers that district attorneys will be called to prosecute in the event of officer brutality, corruption or even murder. "We need to do everything that we can in this moment to avoid not

Philando Castile, Eric Garner and George Floyd. The deaths of these Black men at the hands of police have fueled outrage over police brutality and systemic racism. Men make up the vast majority of people shot and killed by police. But the names of Black women who were also killed are generally missing from Americans' collective memories, says Kimberlé Crenshaw, co-founder and executive director of the African American Policy Forum . The Say Her Name campaign, created by Crenshaw's group in 2014, is meant to include women in the national conversation about race and policing. A few women's names and stories, such as Breonna Taylor, who was shot and killed by Louisville, Ky., police executing a no-knock search warrant in March, have been part of the Black Lives Matter movement. But others have not — women such as Michelle Cusseaux and Kayla Moore. In 2014, Cusseaux was shot by police in her Phoenix home while they were attempting to take her to a mental health facility. In 2013, police

From cookbooks to constitutional rights, On Second Thought is proud to present another five stories from our archive to motivate you this Monday. 1) Historian Jill Lepore Explores 'These Truths' Of United States History In November 2018, On Second Thought sat down with Harvard American history professor Jill Lepore to discuss her book These Truths: A History of the United States and the obligation to learn from the past for a brighter future. Focusing on promises made in the Constitution, Lepore discusses the state of institutions like freedom, voting, and social struggles almost 250 years after the country’s founding. 2) Chef Pano Karatassos On 'Modern Greek Cooking' Atlanta chef Pano Karatassos made waves in culinary circles after winning Food Network’s Beat Bobby Flay with his signature lamb pie. Chef Karatassos is the executive chef of Kyma in Atlanta and has tasked himself with bringing traditional Greek foods to the South. He sat down with us last October to talk Greek cuisine

Mary Beth Keane’s 2019 novel Ask Again, Yes was an instant New York Times bestseller, and is now out on paperback. The book follows the families of two New York City police officers who live next door to each other in a suburb north of the city – and a tragedy that divides them and their children over four decades.

Since George Floyd was killed by a Minneapolis police officer on May 25, rage that had accumulated over centuries of racial violence spilled into the nation's streets. From Atlanta , Macon and Savannah to London , Amsterdam and Paris , protesters are flooding streets that, only weeks ago, stood nearly empty due to fears of COVID-19. The crowds are unprecedented in their size , diversity and condemnation of police brutality and systemic racial injustice. Despite early property damage , largely peaceful protests have gained momentum over the course of the last week.

While the deaths of Travon Martin, Michael Brown, Eric Garner, and Sandra Bland galvanized the #BlackLivesMatter movement, the killings of Rayshard Brooks, George Floyd, Breonna Taylor and Ahmaud Arbery have forced America to reckon with centuries of racial injustice and police brutality in unprecedented ways. Not only have protests demanding change been widespread, but major corporations — which, until now, have been largely silent and hesitant to embrace Black Lives Matter — are pledging to fight racial injustice and declaring their support of the nearly seven-year-old movement. We discuss the significance of those corporate responses, as well as new challenges these companies face to commit to righting past wrongs.

While the deaths of Trayvon Martin, Michael Brown, Eric Garner, and Sandra Bland galvanized the #BlackLivesMatter movement, the killings of Rayshard Brooks, George Floyd, Breonna Taylor and Ahmaud Arbery have forced America to reckon with centuries of racial injustice and police brutality in unprecedented ways. Not only have protests demanding change been widespread, but major corporations — which, until now, have been largely silent and hesitant to embrace Black Lives Matter — are pledging to fight racial injustice and declaring their support of the nearly seven-year-old movement.

Today, in celebration of Juneteenth, Power Haus Creative has organized what they’re calling the “ Juneteenth Takeover ” – in which 19 Atlanta artists will display their work on the exterior of the historic Flatiron building in downtown Atlanta. Carlton Mackey and Melissa Alexander are two of those artists.

Copyright 2020 NPR. To see more, visit MICHEL MARTIN, HOST: We've been having conversations on this program and elsewhere on the network about inequality in education. Those gaps can start early, often before a student ever enters a classroom. Studies show that kids who don't get any pre-K instruction can lag a year behind those who do in math and verbal skills. In 2012, San Antonio vowed to fix that. The city enacted a 1/8 cent sales tax for a program called pre-K for SA, which now provides early childhood education for just over 2,000 children from low-income, military and English-learning families. Sarah Baray is the CEO of Pre-K for SA, and she is with us now. Sarah Baray, thanks so much for talking to us. SARAH BARAY: It's my pleasure. Glad to be with you. MARTIN: So first of all, I just wanted to ask you to tell us why pre-K matters. You're a former teacher. You're an administrator. You've also taught education courses at the university level, so you kind of have that bird's-eye

Copyright 2020 NPR. To see more, visit MICHEL MARTIN, HOST: Parents of younger school-age kids are also making some tough decisions after President Trump said last week that he would put pressure on governors and other officials to open schools in the fall. So with no clear guidance on how to reopen safely, school districts and families have been scrambling to figure things out for themselves. For students living with extended family like grandparents, the question of returning to school is even more fraught. Because of age or preexisting conditions, those family members are most vulnerable to the most serious effects of the virus. Some 2.4 million children in the United States live in a household headed by grandparents. Keith Lowhorne is a grandparent caregiver for his three grandchildren, ages 6, 5 and 3. He's taking care of them along with his wife, and they live just outside of Huntsville, Ala. And he is with us now. Hello, Mr. Lowhorne. Thanks so much for joining us. KEITH

One week ago, the Trump administration announced it would ban international students from attending U.S. colleges in the fall if they only take online classes. Now hundreds of colleges and universities, dozens of cities, and some of the country's biggest tech companies are pushing back. In several court filings Friday and Monday, the groups stand with the international students. They argue providing remote education is crucial given how contagious COVID-19 is — and they say they crafted policies for the fall by depending on earlier assurances from the federal government that international students would be able to attend class remotely "for the duration of the emergency" while still retaining their F-1 or M-1 visa status. They're supporting an initial legal challenge by Harvard University and the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, the first to sue the administration over its new policy. Existing law had prohibited international students from taking all their courses online, but the

Copyright 2020 NPR. To see more, visit NOEL KING, HOST: There's a hearing today that is crucial for hundreds of thousands of international students. It's about a rule that ICE announced. If a college is doing online learning only in the fall, international students will have their visas revoked. ICE says if you're doing school online, you don't need to be in the U.S. to do it. So now, some schools are suing ICE over this rule. NPR education reporter Elissa Nadworny is covering this. Good morning, Elissa. ELISSA NADWORNY, BYLINE: Good morning, Noel. KING: So explain what's happening here. What did ICE do and say, exactly? NADWORNY: So last week, ICE issued guidance that said if schools were all online because of the pandemic, their students couldn't stay in the U.S. You know, this has actually always been the case. There's always an in-person requirement in order to get a visa to come to the U.S. But last spring, when pretty much every school went virtual, ICE had allowed for

Copyright 2020 NPR. To see more, visit SARAH MCCAMMON, HOST: The state of Minnesota is home to the largest Somali population in the United States, tens of thousands of people, many of whom were refugees from civil war. Today, we're talking with two of them who are making history. Abdirizak Abdi and Akram Osman are the first Somali public school principals in Minnesota. That's according to the Sahan Journal, which reports about immigrants in the state. They both just started on the job, which means first figuring out how to do it in the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic. Principal Abdi, Principal Osman, thanks so much for joining us. ABDIRIZAK ABDI: Thank you very much, Sarah. AKRAM OSMAN: Thank you. MCCAMMON: Abdi, I want to start with you. You, as I understand it, never even attended K-12 schools in the United States. You came to Minnesota when you were 19 years old. Where did your interest in education come from? ABDI: I did my school in Africa, specifically in Kenya. So we lived in

The 100 Best Film Noirs of All Time ...just what it says on the tin.

Before the onslaught of end of the year Best-Of lists, here is a solid top 100 for your palaver pleasure.

Big bonus points to Paste Magazine for publishing it on a single web page, rather than over a 25 page ad-filled link schmozzle.

What businesses do you avoid because they have values you disagree with? Please give your rationale in your answer. This question is inspired by reaction to Trump. But please give answers from anywhere in the world, for various values.

A Distant Shore has just been released in an expanded version by Cherry Red Records, along with demos for songs that would eventually be released on Everything but the Girl's debut album. Tracey Thorn's classic 1982 indie album has long been a favorite of artists from Björk to Massive Attack, and is constantly rediscovered. In 2013 Thorn spoke about the album to the Guardian [archive link] and also wrote about the circumstances of its writing in her memoir Bedsit Disco Queen, excerpted here.

October was the 150th anniversary of Charles Ives's birth (in 1874). It's always a good time to reconsider him.

Although famously an insurance executive, Ives had studied music at Yale and continued to work as an organist and to compose music even as he developed life-insurance packages for wealthy customers. He suffered from many ailments, real or mysterious, and after 1926, he stopped composing, saying "nothing sounds right". He continued to revise old compositions, however, retiring from business in 1930 and dying of a stroke in 1954 at the age of 80. Early on, his compositions did not attract much interest, but later, by the 1940s and 50s, composers and conductors began to champion him, and he was sometimes considered a pioneer of modernist American music; in the 70s, his music was inescapable on concert programs. However, his tinkering with old compositions led to questions of whether he made his old works appear more innovative than they actually had been. Today he may be best known for his symphony #3 "The Camp Meeting"(1908-10) (with different folk tunes battling it out in the second movement) , his transcendentalist orchestral piece "The Unanswered Question"(1908; revised 1934, in a splendid performance by Leonard Bernstein and the NY Philharmonic) and the "Concord" sonata (1909–47) [The third movement called "The Alcotts" played by Pierre-Laurent Aimard). His songs are loved for their mixture of avant garde and Americana. They are usually heard sung by trained operatic singers (as in this wonderful clip of Donald Gramm introduced by Aaron Copland), but it is revealing to hear this recording of Ives singing one of his own compositions, the World War I song "They Are There!" (1917; revised for WWII). He's not a good singer, but his untrained voice combined with the raucous jumble of the song sounds original and utterly American.

Hidden changes are warping the already broken ecosystem that determines how many citizens—particularly in America—construct their sense of reality. (slSubstack)

Y'all, I know there are folks who don't like Substack/NYT links but here we are and I thought this was worth posting in the aftermath of a disastrous election.

It's dark, it's late, you're drunk, and you're ready to admit to MetaFilter that you're really a famous cult filmmaker. But if you're not sure, follow this handy flowchart by Adam Fromm: Which Contemporary Film Snob Director Are You? It's funny, it's clever, it's easy to navigate, it's a giant JPG image.

Here's a discussion on the Criterion Collection subreddit about an earlier version of this flowchart.

P. S. I am Agnès Varda.

But making a breakfast cereal was not the original intention of Charles William Post, the founder of the Postum Cereal Company (better known these days as Post). After a stint at the Kellogg sanitarium in Battle Creek, Post started his own local company to sell health drinks, namely the caffeine-free coffee substitute called Postum. Grape-Nuts were actually intended to become a beverage, as well. But Post decided that Grape-Nuts would instead be marketed as the most super of all superfoods. from The Unlikely Popularity of Grape-Nuts Ice Cream [Atlas Obscura]

More on bisque ice cream

In a place where an act as simple as reading the Quran can be an act of defiance, the Taliban has banned women from hearing other women's voices in its latest attempt to impose their version of Islamic law on Afghanistan, including mandating that women refrain from performing Takbir—an Islamic expression of faith—and from reciting the Quran aloud, even in the presence of other women.

The UN and Amnesty have stated that the oppression of Afghan women, made prisoners in their homes, unable to speak, has erased women from all spheres of life. Girls born in the 20 years free of Taliban rule went to school and learned of their mothers' experience of repression, only to lose the ability to attend school with the Taliban's return in 2021. Women lost their ability to work, learn, travel alone, or receive healthcare and became "faceless, voiceless shadows" in a brutal apartheid against women.

What makes the Taliban's ideology so uniquely repressive of women?

"What sets the Taliban apart from other Islamic groups," Moheq added, "are the tribal codes of Afghanistan also embedded in the Taliban's ideology." A fundamental part of the tribal codes is defining a narrow place for women: They exists as the property of men and for the honor of men. For example, Moheq explained, "the rape of a woman is not seen as wrong because she was raped, but because she represents the honor of a man," and that is what was violated.

The Taliban's ideology was strong enough to draw manpower from the country's tribal areas for long enough to outlast the United States and the Western-backed government in Kabul. In return, as the primary manpower of the Taliban comes from tribal areas of the country, they further reinforce the Taliban's conservative culture, including the continued exclusion of women.

Among more than 7,500 Afghans living in the country with access to mobile and internet services, the survey found, 66% said they agreed or strongly agreed that human rights for women were a top priority for the future of Afghanistan. Nearly half, or 45% of those, strongly supported the Taliban's control of the country.

Strike-friendly games from the NYT tech guild "New York Times tech workers are still on strike after walking out one day before the presidential election. That means they're still asking people to skip their usual Crossword, Wordle, or Connections routines. But now, the union has released its own offerings for games lovers that could keep them from crossing the digital picket line." - Fast Company

In addition to games like Strikle and Strikeman, they're also sharing recipes like We've Got Beef With Management Stuffed Mushrooms and Solidarity Soup.

Did a mega drought topple empires 4,200 years ago? is an article by Michael Marshall in Nature [archive link] about the debate around the 4.2-Kiloyear Event, which was possibly a major shift in global climate patterns that started around 2200 BCE. The effects were especially stark in the Fertile Crescent, where social complexity decreased markedly, empires fell, and cities were abandoned, as recounted in the video essay The First Bronze Age Collapse and the Intermediate Bronze Age. If you want more granular detail, best known archaeological site for this period has a good website with lots of information, The Tell Leilan Project.

I am devastated by the results of this election. I live in a red state, which I love, and I am surrounded by people I love who voted for Trump. I have given up trying to understand it. These people are my community. I truly believe they are good, kind, thoughtful people, and they voted for someone who is promising to do a lot of harm to other good, kind people. Any advice for coping? I can't cut them off, they are friends and family. Help.

I'm a 40F who upon hearing the election results this week, felt a surge a gratitude about being a spinster. I figure there has to be articles, books, or some type of literature made by fellow spinsters throughout history about their experiences.

I'm a 40F who upon hearing the election results this week, felt a surge a gratitude about having no kids or a male partner. I of course have been on this path for years, mostly due to my total disinterest in dating and or sex. (I didn't realize I was a OG member of the 4B Movement.)
The choice to forego the things that many women consider their purpose in life does make you feel like the weird one.
I figure there has to be articles, books, or some type of literature made by fellow spinsters throughout history about their experiences. It find it a 95 percent positive experience, but I'd also be curious if these ladies have also written about the drawbacks (money troubles, not being anyone's person) as well.
I'd be curious how the stigma played out then as it does now, I figure it was worse then due to not being able to get good jobs, but I know in some places, these women served as elderly caretakers. I look forward to learning more.

Looking for stuff that will make me laugh mostly. Snarky and kind reqs appreciated.

Especially interested in general or historical fiction, but I'll take whatever.

The only criteria are that it's witty and has a generally kind tone. I definitely don't want to feel worse about the world after reading.

If you can include a brief description of why you liked it, that would be useful. Thanks in advance!

"They think your existence is a scourge? Then the best way to spite them is to keep existing." Geraldine DeRuiter (previously) has written the one thing that makes me feel better about what happened. Maybe it'll help you too.

That's it. Given this terrible, horrible, no good week, I'd like to hang onto some signs of hope. They don't have to be political, anything will do.

If you're visiting MetaFilter for the first time in a while because whoa, US election, just a friendly reminder that MetaFilter depends on member support in order to keep running. Additionally, MetaFilter is moving to a community-run model, so you might want to check out the latest update about that.

But because this is a weblog, a few additional links about communities below the fold.

Online communities come with real-world consequences for individuals and societies (Communications Psychology; the bibliography is fun)

How to find your community (Vox)

How to find healthy online communities (Mental Health America)

(Nostalgia trip) Online communities (Pew Research, 2001)

And more nostalgia - the classic 1995 Ghosts in the Machine