Amid allegations of hospital mismanagement and with the rise in COVID-19 cases in Mumbai, the Maharashtra government completely overhauled the top administrative set-up of the Brihanmumbai Municipal Corporation (BMC) , by transferring commissioner Praveen Pardeshi and two additional commissioners on Friday.

Iqbal Singh Chahal will replace Praveen Pardeshi as the new chief of BMC. Pardeshi will take charge of urban development department in Mantralaya which was headed by Chahal. Ashwini Bhide, who was waiting for a posting after the Metro 3 controversy and subsequent transfer, was appointed as the additional municipal commissioner along with ex-Thane civic Sanjeev Jaiswal, who also joined Bhide in the same capacity. The will replace incumbent Babasaheb Jarad and Jayshree Bhoj, who were transferred.

Talks of possible clash of opinion between Pravin Pardeshi and his political and administrative bosses in Mantralaya seems to have proven correct even as the opposition parties said on Friday that the Shiv Sena-led government was trying to underplay its failure by shifting the blame to the bureaucrats by transferring them.

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Maharashtra Chief Minister Uddhav Thackeray on Friday refuted speculation about the Army being called in in Mumbai which has become a major coronavirus hotspot.

In a live webcast, he said additional manpower may be sought from the Union government if needed so that the state police force gets some respite.

CM Uddhav Balasaheb Thackeray addressing the State https://t.co/ZZ65xsR3Oy

— CMO Maharashtra (@CMOMaharashtra) May 8, 2020

Asking people not to believe rumours, the chief minister said the government might ask for additional manpowerfrom the Centre, if needed, to enable the police personnel to take rest in a phased manner. "This doesn't mean that Mumbai will be handed over to the Army. Police personnel are tired after working round-the- clock, some have fallen sick and a few of them have succumbed to the virus. They need rest," Thackeray said.

He also admitted that while the spread of the virus has been contained, the state has not succeeded in breaking the chain of infection yet. Whether the lockdown will be extended or not after May 17 will depend on how far people maintain discipline and follow rules, he said.

"We have to come out of the lockdown one day or the other. We can't be living permanently like this. But to come out of this sooner, you need to follow rules and maintain discipline of social distancing and use face mask," Thackeray said

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India didn't exactly deal with COVID-19 the way most of the world did. Sure, there were the right noises made at regular intervals, the inane PR-exercises that are now a given from a government that picks up tips from reality television rather than qualified professionals, and some genuine, good work in states like Kerala. For millions of us, unfortunately, this was another excuse to do what we do best: pick on those who cannot fight back.

Thousands of words were expended at every stage of the outbreak on blame games that had no reason to exist. We could have used that airtime and column space to ask those elected to govern us why they had done very little. Instead, many of us chose to vilify Indians for doing what we would all have done, had we been compelled to live under the circumstances they had no choice but to accept.

Millions of us had the luxury of staying home without worrying about where our next meals would come from. The lockdown didn't prevent us from hoarding vegetables and fruit, medicine, or even alcohol, because we could worry about mundane things like running out of vodka. Yes, there were many of us who had to deal with unemployment and the inability to pay rent, but I kept thinking of those without a safety net — the men, women, and children forced to walk hundreds of kilometres without food or water, whose lives made our crises pale in comparison.

When hundreds of migrant workers gathered at Bandra in a desperate attempt to get home, anchors on television railed against their insensitivity and complained about the government of Maharashtra. None stopped to evaluate why those workers were on the street in the first place, putting their lives and those of their families at risk simply because they were in a place none of them could call home. As someone born and raised in Bombay, I struggled to get a sense of what that must feel like, to be in another city when the rug is pulled from under one's feet. None of us has lived through a pandemic before, but I was forced to think about young people who come here right after college in an attempt to make a living, and how they must cope with the closure of an office even when there isn't a global catastrophe to contend with.

There were videos of residents walking dogs and shouting at watchmen, policemen assaulted for simply trying to implement a life-saving lockdown, and arguments made by talking heads about why India's poor should stay where they are for the country's benefit. The hypocrisy of it ought to have shamed us all, but probably didn't penetrate our thick third-world skin.

It's impossible to predict what our lives will look like a year from now, when this has hopefully been put behind us and a vaccine is within reach. What I hope it will change is how we look at the faceless millions who toil for a pittance to do what the rest of us refuse to. The people who cook for us, stand guard outside our buildings and offices, ferry files between departments, wash our vehicles, and sell us fruit and vegetables when our venture capitalist-funded mobile apps fail to do the job.

Those who have left will return, because we live in a country that has failed to provide for them, forcing them to leave parents and relatives behind again. I hope we start to look at them a little more and try and implement measures to change the way they are compensated for jobs that have proven to be a lot more important than we have traditionally acknowledged them to be.

I think of celebrities, cricketers, bankers, and lawyers who routinely walk away with the largest percentage of what we collectively work to create for our country. None of them managed to do anything of any significance to alleviate our situation. Everything we thought was important was revealed to be hollow within weeks, while all the people we look down upon were revealed to have been performing life-changing roles all along.

It is naïve to assume that nurses, teachers, healthcare and sanitation workers, cooks, and vegetable vendors will suddenly start earning more than we have been trained to pay them. I like to think this pandemic will change us in subtle ways though, forcing us to recognise our inadequacies, our pompous designations and titles that we use to accomplish almost nothing.

When he isn't ranting about all things Mumbai, Lindsay Pereira can be almost sweet. He tweets @lindsaypereira
Send your feedback to mailbag@mid-day.com

The views expressed in this column are the individual's and don't represent those of the paper

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AMID allegations of mismanagement of the COVID-19 crisis, the state has completely overhauled the top rung of the BMC by transferring civic chief Praveen Pardeshi and two others on Friday. Iqbal Singh Chahal replaces Pardeshi.

In addition to urban development, Pardeshi would also look after the water resources department. Pardeshi, a celebrated disaster management expert, who shot into limelight after managing the aftermath of the Latur earthquake very effectively as the collector, has been the most sought-after bureaucrat in planning relief and rehabilitation.

Ashwini Bhide too was waiting for a posting after her Metro III issue with Shiv Sena and a subsequent 'punishment' transfer. Along with many other IAS colleagues, she was deputed to the BMC for a special task after the Coronavirus break-out. She would now be a full-fledged empowered officer. Ex-Thane civic chief Sanjeev Jaiswal has also joined Bhide as an additional commissioner. He was waiting for a posting after leaving Thane where he served a record time.

Abasaheb Jarhad and Jayshree Bhoj, who were recently appointed in the BMC, have been shifted to make space for Bhide and Jaiswal. Two additional commissioners — P Velrasu and Suresh Kankani — have been spared.

Clashes in Mantralaya

Murmurs of clashes between Pardeshi and his political and administrative bosses in Mantralaya seemed to have proven right even as the opposition parties said on Friday that the Shiv Sena-led government was trying to find a scapegoat for covering the failure of the political set-up in Mumbai.

Sion hospital incident

Iqbal Singh Chahal

Since Mumbai's woes have been unending with the spread of the virus and the expose of BMC-run Sion hospital where bodies and patients were placed together in one ward and a COVID-19 patient's escape, made the government red-faced. Pardeshi and his team of additional commissioners, who were new to the city, invited criticism time and again. Sources said Pardeshi had several arguments with chief secretary Ajoy Mehta who preceded him as BMC chief. Pardeshi served as Devendra Fadnavis's principal secretary in the CMO before getting BMC chief's post in the previous political regime. Considering his seniority, he has also been in the reckoning for the CS office.

'Transfers no solution'

Jarhad replaced relief and rehabilitation secretary Kishorraje Nimbalkar who has been transferred as Public Works Department (PWD) secretary. Manoj Saunik will be an additional CS of the all-important finance department. He has been holding dual charge of PWD and finance. Bhoj has been sent to Maharashtra Small Scale Industries Development Corporation as its managing director. Opposition leader in the legislative council Praveen Darekar said the government was masking its failure by finding scapegoats. "Transferring bureaucrats isn't the right approach to mend things. The government should be able to make good policies and make bureaucrats implement them," he said.

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The Brihanmumbai Municipal Corporation (BMC) has increased the capacity of Corona Care Centres (CCC) for positive asymptomatic people double fold, with the help of schools, college buildings and pandals on open plots. The city now has 37,343 beds reserved for people who are positive but don't have any symptoms. One-fourth of the city's patients are in these centres. The maximum number of these CCC2 facilities is in wards which are on the top with high numbers of COVID-19 cases.

While the institutional quarantine centres (CCCs) have over 7,000 high-risk contacts with a capacity of little more than 20,000, the BMC is now focusing on the Corona Care Centres 2 (CCC2) which deal with positive asymptomatic patients. The maximum number of facilities is available in E (Byculla), L (Kurla), M east (Govandi, Mankhurd), M west (Chembur) and S (Bhandup) wards where the number of patients is increasing significantly.

With the Shreeniwas Mill building have a capacity of 3,000 beds, two parking lots with 1,000 beds, NSCI club of Worli with 500 beds, and some schools, G south ward has 5,568 beds for asymptomatic positive patients. Byculla has 2,605 beds with an 850 beds centre in a hall and a pandal. With more than 900 cases in Dharavi, G North ward utilised the space of Dharavi College to set up another 700 beds facility. C ward used gymkhana lawns and buildings on Netaji Subhash Road for more than 1,200 beds.

L ward erected pandals in Somaiya ground and Kurla ST Depot for 2,000 beds, M west ward uses the Swami Vivekanand College building for 1,200 beds and M east ward with densely populated slums used MHADA buildings for a 700 beds facility.

As of today, 2,233 people are in CCC2. "Hardly 6 per cent of the beds are occupied so far. But the BMC is preparing for the worst scenario," said a BMC official.

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Despite media reports pointing out the poor handling and care of patients at Sion hospital, the administration seems to have not taken any action yet, as a new video has emerged of Friday evening, showing most patients sharing beds across the casualty ward.

On Friday, mid-day had reported how Lokmanya Tilak Municipal General Hospital admitted patients in the ward that had bodies piled on the beds. Earlier, a video had surfaced online, showing a man escaping out of the window due to the pathetic condition of the hospital. While the BMC has initiated an enquiry into the past incidents, the latest video has raised concern about the patients' safety at the hospital.

A 40-year-old woman from Dharavi was recently admitted to the casualty ward of Sion hospital with high fever. "She was given saline and asked to share a bed with another female patient. We don't know what the other patient is suffering from. What kind of isolation is this?" asks the daughter.

A Dharavi resident, 40, is made to share a bed with another patient at Sion hospital

In the video, several beds were seen occupied by at least two patients at a time. A 25-year-old man suffering from high fever was made to lie down with a 45-year-old patient. "I have been made to share a bed with a man who is more than 45 years old. I have been told that the doctor will visit me only in the morning. What if the man beside be is already a COVID-19 patient? Will he not pass on the virus to me?" he questioned while speaking to mid-day. Another patient, Vishnu Sarathi, a 34-year-old resident of Antop Hill was brought to Sion hospital by her neighbours after he complained of stomach pain. He also had high fever. However, the doctors gave him medicine and sent him back home.

Sources in the hospital said they take all the patients to the casualty ward when they arrive and due to lack of beds, they have to sit or lie down beside other patients. In case of fever, we give them medicines and if it subsides, we send them home, said the sources, adding that the rest are admitted. At present, the number of patients in the hospital is higher than that of the beds.

Some hospital staffers, who tested positive for COVID-19 but are asymptomatic, complained that they are being made to share wards with other high-risk patients. "Their report has come back positive but they do not have any symptoms," said one of the staffers.

Patients made to share a bed at Sion hospital

"We have tested positive, but there are no symptoms of COVID-19. We are afraid that our health might suffer by being among the high-risk patients," said another.

A visitor in the hospital was also seen without a mask on Friday, which violates the instructions given by the administration and also poses a risk to others.

Sion hospital Dean Pramod Ingale did not respond to mid-day's requests for comment.

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As Coronavirus cases continue to rise in the city, the civic body has decided to appoint an IAS officer for each of the city's seven zones. The officers have to improve the doubling rate of positive cases from the current 10 days to 20 days by May 17.

There were reports about differences of opinions as no one was assigned a specific work area. Now, with each officer responsible for a smaller area, administration is expected to be smoother. The BMC had six IAS officers, including the municipal commissioner, to run the various departments. The State assigned four more senior ones — three for the civic body and one for the four state-run hospitals — to boost management. In spite of years of experience, there were disagreements among officers and the result was seen in the handling of the pandemic. Sources said that some IAS officers expressed dissatisfaction over the management.

BMC chief till Friday evening, Praveen Pardeshi's order is expected to improve administration and accountability. Each of the city's zones is headed by a Deputy Municipal Commissioner. The newly-assigned officers have to visit their zones every day from morning to 2 pm and be in office till 3 pm. The civic chief is to conduct daily debriefing at 6 pm with focus on reducing the doubling rate.

These officers will supervise mapping of positive cases, contact-tracing, Containment Zones, house-to-house surveys and surveillance, identifying senior citizens with co-morbidities and their further treatment, fever clinics, facilitating private nursing homes, clinics, hospitals, etc., testing of symptomatic persons, CCC1 and CCC2 creation, community participation, etc.

While Abasaheb Jarhad, Suresh Kakani, P Velarasu and Jayashree Bhoj are additional commissioners with the BMC, Manisha Mhisakar, Dr Ramaswami and Ashwini Bhide have been deputed for COVID-19. Prajakta Lavangare has been appointed to handle CSR activities. Joint commissioner Ashutosh Salil is also on COVID-19 duty. Sujata Saunik has appointed to supervise JJ, St. George, GT and Cama Hospitals.

75% attendance in BMC

After initially cutting down employee strength by half, then increasing it to full capacity during the second phase of the lockdown, Pardeshi reduced it again to 75 per cent, barring essential services. The order says social distancing is not being maintained due to 100 per cent attendance. The focus will be on contact-tracing, quarantine centre management, upgrading municipal hospitals and pre-monsoon work. Officers and employees aged over 55 years and suffering from chronic health issues can work from home.

The civic body had been giving a daily allowance of R300 to frontline workers like nurses, doctors and sweepers. It will now give the allowance to assistant commissioners and employees at or below the post of executive engineers too.

Three officers — Pardeshi, Jarhad, and Bhoj were transferred by the government on Friday evening. Their designations remain as the decisions were taken while they held the posts.

Which zone has whom

Zone 1 (Colaba to Malabar hill and Byculla): Abasaheb Jarhad
Zone 2 (Mahalaxmi to Mahim, Chinchpokli to Wadala): Manisha Mhaiskar
Zone 3 (Bandra to Santacruz, Vileparle East to Jogeshwari East): Dr Ramaswami
Zone 4 (Vileparle west to Jogeshwari west, Malad, Kandivali): Suresh Kakani
Zone 5 (Kurla to Chembur, Govandi, Mankhurd): Jayashree Bhoj
Zone 6 (Ghatkopar, Bhandup, Mulund): Ashwini Bhide
Zone 7 (Kandivli to Dahisar): P Velarasu

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As some parties filed nominations for the May 21 Legislative Council polls on Friday, a citizen from Nagpur who wants to contest has alleged that the state government and the Governor gave false information about Coronavirus to the Election Commission of India (ECI) that scheduled biennial elections to prevent a constitutional crisis in the state.

Sunil Gayaprasad Mishra has demanded that the elections be postponed as the Coronavirus pandemic has grown exponentially in the state.

Mishra wrote to the ECI, Raj Bhavan, the state chief secretary (CS) and political parties that demanded polls to facilitate Chief Minister Uddhav Thackeray's election to the upper house. Unless elected to either house of the Assembly by May 27, Thackeray will cease to be the head of the state government. Thackeray petitioned Prime Minister Narendra Modi on April 30 and polls were swiftly announced the next day. The ECI justified the decision citing the need to save Thackeray's chief ministership. Mishra has questioned the 'overnight' developments.

'The episode was fixed'

Mishra, an RTI activist and ex-chairman of Nagpur University's Board of Studies of Mass Communication, questioned how will people living in red zones travel to Mumbai to file nomination and reach out to the 288 MLAs who have to vote for the councillors. "I sent the email on May 6 but haven't got a reply yet. How could the CS voluntarily provide information to the ECI? And the information is factually incorrect. See how exponentially the pandemic has grown in Maharashtra. Mumbai alone has over 10,000 cases. And yet the CS told ECI on April 30 that the state would be able to conduct the polls. Why did the governor write to the ECI? Did his predecessor recommend such a thing? Where was the Chief Election Officer who reports to the ECI? It seemed the entire episode was fixed to benefit all parties," Mishra said.

'Will move court'

BJP's Ranjitsinh Mohite Patil submits his nomination at the Legislature on Friday 

"Participating in polls is my constitutional right. But the lockdown does not allow me to be part of the process as the nomination ends on May 11. I couldn't even prepare documents like the election affidavit. So, your notification on May 1 breaches my rights and hence I request you to stall the elections," Mishra wrote to ECI. In another letter, Mishra urged CS Ajoy Mehta to inform ECI of the facts of the COVID-19 pandemic in Maharashtra where almost every district has positive cases. Mid-day has copies of the letters.

Mishra said his actions are not influenced by any political party.

"I'm not a political worker, but a concerned citizen who wants to expose political fixing. Some influential people have already reached Mumbai, travelling all the way from far-flung places like Nagpur, Nanded, Solapur and Sangli. It seems that the ECI, the governor and ruling and opposition parties want nothing to do with the ordinary citizens," he said, adding that he is also exploring the option of moving the Bombay High Court.

BJP fields four, MVA jittery

The Bharatiya Janata Party fielded four candidates for the May 21 legislative council polls. Denying nomination to veteran aspirants like Eknath Khadse, it chose former Nagpur Mayor Praveen Datke, Nanded's Dr Ajit Gopchhade, and two turncoats — former MP Ranjitsinh Mohite Patil and Gopichand Padalkar. A former NCP leader, Mohite Patil joined BJP before Lok Sabha polls and Padalkar was BJP's Assembly candidate in Baramati against Ajit Pawar. The BJP has made it clear that it would not settle for anything less than four seats if the polls were to be unopposed as wanted by Chief Minister Uddhav Thackeray. The 288 MLAs are the electoral college for the elections and BJP claims to have the support of 115 MLAs which could help it win 4 seats. The Shiv Sena has two candidates — Thackeray and deputy chairman of the upper house Neelam Gorhe.

The NCP wants to field two candidates but the third Maha Vikas Aghadi (MVA) partner Congress is also adamant on contesting two seats despite having fewer MLAs at its disposal. If the Congress remains steadfast, authorities would have to conduct voting on May 21. The MVA, which has 170 MLAs (votes), was expected to decide on the nominations on Friday evening.

The nominations created a furore in the BJP.

Khadse said the state party had recommended him, Pankaja Munde and Chandrashekhar Bawankule but they were ignored. "Instead, a man like Padalkar who had boycotted PM Modi's rallies is given the ticket. Mohite Patil spent many years in the NCP and now he is our candidate," Khadse said.

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A day after former Navi Mumbai mayor Jayawant Sutar threatened to take the matter of increasing COVID-19 cases at Agricultural Produce Market Committee market in Vashi to the higher-ups, officials at a high-level meeting unanimously decided to shut it from May 11 to May 17.

All five markets — vegetable, fruit, grain, dry fruit and spice — will remain shut from Monday till the lockdown ends. The market will remain open this weekend. NMMC Commissioner Annasaheb Misal, Maharashtra principal secretary (marketing) Anoop Kumar, IAS officer Sanjeev Jaiswal, Konkan Divisional Commissioner Shivaji Daund, APMC police officers and APMC traders were at the meet on Friday afternoon.

Daund told mid-day, "We will carry out extensive spraying of disinfectants during the shutdown and the APMC staff, including traders and APMC police, will be screened and tested. We will hold regular meetings through video conferencing to understand the momentum of work." He added that they will review the matter on May 15 to decide on a phased reopening or extension.

APMC Secretary and Administrator Anil Chavan, who also attended the meeting, said they decided to close the markets to contain the spread of COVID. "We will keep the market open this Saturday and Sunday so that essential supplies could be stocked for 10 days in Mumbai and neighbouring areas."

mid-day had, on Friday, reported about the Sutar, whose term as the Navi Mumbai mayor ended recently, demanding that market to be shut.

"I was going to write a letter to the central health team, too, but I am now informed that at a high-level meeting a decision was taken to shut the market for a week. It is evident that not only traders, but even their staff, and APMC mathadi workers were at high risk as they visit the market daily. Also, we have learnt that some APMC staffers would have had to take voluntary retirement had the market remained open. The traders are already terrified," he said.

Sutar added, "Had the government wanted they could have made an amendment to the existing APMC Act, and allowed him to continue as the mayor. But, they allowed the administrator and APMC to take the decisions."

Vijay Bhuta, director, APMC Spices Market, said there were only eight cases at the masala market so far. "Majority of the positive cases were reported from other markets in APMC." "Residents living around the market were concerned about the increasing number of cases," he added.

A resident of Turbhe village said, "On Friday, two more positive cases were reported in the village and both men worked at the APMC market. We have requested Turbhe and Kopri villagers to not allow APMC staffers in their locality to venture out." Sutar said he has raised the concern about people travelling to and from red zones.

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Days after a video showing patients lying next to dead bodies in a Sion hospital ward went viral, another video showing a COVID-19 patient escaping the hospital through the window surfaced on social media.

In the latest video, a middle-aged man is seen running out of ward no. 5 on the ground floor of the hospital and jumping out of the window. A few minutes later, the man is brought back by the hospital staff. BJP leader Kirit Somaiya shared the video on social media on Friday and sent a written complaint to the civic body demanding action. "The incident took place on May 3 in front of ward no. 5 which is meant for COVID-19 patients. It is the same ward where another video had shown bodies lying on beds," Somaiya said.

Dr Pramod Ingle, acting dean of the hospital, said that the video is authentic but is being shown in a negative light. "Patients of COVID-19 are often under a lot of stress and suffer from psychosis. People react differently to stressful situations. Fortunately, the patient was brought back by a guard wearing a PPE kit," said Dr Ingle. He added that the guard had been congratulated for his good work and the video was from the security footage of the hospital.

Bodies to go to mortuary

The Sion hospital committee probing the video showing bodies kept at Sion hospital's COVID-19 ward has been given a day's extension by Dr Ingle.

The patient seen walking towards the window 

Meanwhile, IAS officer Prajakta Lavangare has been appointed to take charge of Sion and Cooper Hospital. She visited the hospitals on Friday. Dr Ingle said that while the enquiry report is still awaited, a new protocol has been decided to handle bodies of COVID-19 patients.

"The bodies will now be packed in plastic sheets on the bed and then shifted to the mortuary. We have two mortuaries and among them, the bigger one has a capacity to keep around 40 bodies. Families can collect bodies from there," he said adding that currently, there are 11 COVID-19 bodies at the hospital.

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In major relief, the state government has decided that first and second-year students will be promoted to the next year based on performance. However, final year students will have to appear for their final exams which will be conducted between July 1 to 30.

State higher and technical education minister Uday Samant declared the decision through video on Friday providing relief to lakhs of students studying in thousands of colleges affiliated to different universities in the state.

However, the decision to conduct the final year exams will be subject to COVID-19 situation in the state and a decision about the same will be taken on June 20.

Also, a committee has been formed which will decide if the Common Entrance Test (CET) for UG and PG courses can be conducted. The committee is going to table their findings in eight days.

For UG the exam has been scheduled between July 1-19 and July 23-30 for PG courses.

As for students fearing non-compliance of 75 per cent mandatory attendance criteria, Samant said, "All students should be given full attendance for all days of lockdown until now which is 45 days. However even after adding these 45 days if any student is still lagging, the college should consider those cases compassionately. All final year final examination students shall continue studying as their exams will be held in July. It is a question of their career which is why the exams cannot be cancelled."

Explaining the grading system that will be used for first and second-year students, a senior University official said, "This grading will be done with 50:50 formula where 50 per cent marks will be based on internal evaluation or tests held until now before the lockdown and 50 per cent from the performance of the student in the previous year. If previous year's performance is not available, the grading will depend 100 per cent on performance until now in the academic year."

"Moreover students who have pending papers or fail in any subject will have to appear for ATKT exams which the varsities will hold within 120 days from the beginning of the new academic year," he added.

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The state government on Friday directed schools across the state against introducing any fee hike this academic year in view of the crisis. It also asked schools to provide parents with options of instalments to pay the tuition fees and offer online payment services.

The Maharashtra state government's school education department on Friday issued the Government Resolution (GR) in this regard.

"For the academic year 2020-21, schools should not hike fees. If certain services at the school which are currently not offered and are, therefore, reducing the school's expenses, the management must try to reduce the fees. Considering parents' convenience, schools should offer different instalment options to pay the fees instead of asking for a complete annual fee at once. They must also offer online payment services for parents," states the GR which also mentions that this step was taken after receiving several complaints regarding schools forcing parents to pay complete fees at once.

Parents hail move

While the government had earlier suggested instalments for school fees, some schools had offered such options or even reduced fees in some cases. But the decision lacked uniformity and hence the GR was issued.

Anubha Sahai, president of Indiawide Parents' Association, said, "It is an excellent decision by the state government. It clearly states that no school shall force any parent to pay full fees during the lockdown."

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The lockdown has come as a boon to the Mumbai Metropolitan Region Development Authority (MMRDA), which has taken the time to repair the damaged but traffic free Western Express Highway. The work is expected to be completed by May 31. Work on the Eastern Express Highway, which will soon begin, is also expected to be completed by May 31. Mumbaikars can then expect pothole-free smooth roads this monsoon.

According to an MMRDA spokesperson, "The completion period for repairing/improvement of WEH is 11 months, but due to the lockdown, we will be able to complete it substantially within a month by May 31. The cost of the work is R47 crore. Work on repairing/ improvement of the bad patches on EEH will start shortly. Possibly from May 11 and the cost for this is about R30 crore and efforts will be made to complete it by May 31. As per the plans, the works have been divided into 4/5 parts to ensure fast completion."

Sources from MMRDA said the idea is to complete the quality work at the earliest so during the monsoon motorists using these highways don't have to face inconvenience.

The WEH is the main highway connecting the Western suburbs to the city bearing 5,000-7,000 (Passenger Car Unit) PCU/hr per direction for most stretches.

MMRDA has also started addressing the problem of traffic jams at junctions on WEH, which were taking place due to uneven roads because of paver blocks. Few months back MMRDA had started removing the paver blocks on the west side of JVLR junction on the WEH, in order to reduce the obstruction in traffic.

MMRDA has also prepared a plan for the facelift of WEH, and so it has appointed global consultants to study its shortcomings and a project estimated at R100 crore has been planned for the same.

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Taking serious note of the report in mid-day about a green activist writing to Chief Minister Uddhav Thackeray regarding illegal chopping of trees and encroachments in Aarey Colony, the CEO office of Aarey visited the spot and began the procedure of filing an FIR against the culprits.

On May 7, mid-day had reported how a environmentalist Stalin D wrote to Uddhav requesting the forest department and Thane forest circle to monitor Aarey Colony against encroachers during the lockdown.

In his letter to Thackeray, Stalin D also highlighted the fact that on an average, at least 30 trees were being chopped down daily inside Aarey.

"Slum-dwellers are expanding encroachments, building illegal temples, clearing the vegetation regularly ever since the lockdown was imposed. We have time and again raised the alarm and intimated the authorities concerned.

But, the Aarey police have not acted on any of the complaints and instead have chosen to beat up citizens who send them proof of tree chopping and expanding encroachments," the letter stated.

Stalin D told mid-day that he also received a response to the email from Chief Minister Uddhav Thackeray's office stating that he letter had been sent to the department concerned to take necessary action.

CEO of Aarey Milk Colony Nathu Rathod told mid-day, "We have taken serious note of the illegal encroachments and alleged cutting of trees in Aarey and will be taking the help of the police to book those responsible. Our teams have visited the spot and the procedure of filing the FIR is in progress."

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A case has been registered against office-bearers of Bandra Gymkhana in the city for violation of lockdown after a video purportedly showed members celebrating its completion of 85 years despite the lockdown restrictions.

A lawyer filed a complaint saying that a video on social media showed Gymkhana members singing and dancing during the celebration of completion of 85 years of the club, a police officer said.

A case under IPC sections 188 (defying public servant's order) and 269 (act which may spread infection) was registered against office-bearers and some members, he said, adding that probe was on.

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The civic-run Brihanmumbai Electric Supply and Transport (BEST) undertaking on Friday said it would recruit a kin if any employee dies due to the coronavirus infection while on duty. It would be in the Class II or IV categories depending on the kin's educational qualifications, an official said. "Employment will be provided to the wife or son or unmarried daughter of a deceased employee.

If the person who died is a bachelor, then the job would be given to his brother or unmarried sister," an official said.

So far, 64 BEST employees have tested positive for the virus, including four who died of the infection.

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When the Delhi Police learn of a heist at a State Bank of India ATM, they did not realise that they would find their lead from an unusual culprit. The police was taken by surprise to know that a monkey broke into the ATM while checking the CCTV footage of the kiosk that has gone viral on social media. Some netizens have described the incident as ‘monkey heist’.

In the footage, shared on Twitter by ANI, the monkey is seen entering the ATM and fiddling with the machines. The monkey then tries to pull the panel in the front of the machine after which he tumbles down the floor. The video ends abruptly when the monkey rushes towards the door.

#WATCH A monkey damages an ATM of State Bank of India in South Avenue area of Delhi. (Video source: Delhi Police) pic.twitter.com/pZunh3h7Sy

— ANI (@ANI) May 6, 2020

The date on the CCTV footage shows that it was captured on May 6. It was shared on Twitter by ANI on the same day  in which it was known that the ATM kiosk was located at the South Avenue area in Delhi. The video has amused the netizens as it garnered more than 45,000 views with over 1,100 likes and was retweeted 269 times along with many amusing comments.

Good concept for money heist season 5

— rajdeep singh (@FirstAD_) May 6, 2020

First he tries to kidnap a girl, then hit a boy with bike and now looting ATMs... This monkey is going to places 🐒🐒ðŸ¦ÂðŸ¦Â

— Broken XBox (@_Spacker) May 6, 2020

Trying to get cash without card!

— Harshit✮Gupta (@YourHarshit) May 6, 2020

Monkey-heist🤣🤣

— K A S H I (@terikahkelunga) May 6, 2020

pic.twitter.com/OqCnQJuAAw

— Subrato Das - 🇮🇳 (@suberato) May 6, 2020

What do you think about the video?

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Two police officers and a constable were injured after a 27-year-old man attacked them with a chopper in south Mumbai early today, police said. Karan Pradip Nayar, president of Silver Oaks estate near Breach Candy, attacked the policemen who were on routine 'nakabandi' duty at 1.30 am, senior police inspector of Marine Drive police station Mrityunjay Hiremath told PTI.

The policemen, all deployed at the Marine Drive police station, received injuries on their shoulders and hands and were taken to the state government-run JJ hospital, he said. "When our policemen saw the man walking with a large chopper near the Pransukhlal Mafatlal Hindu Swimming Bath and Boat Club, they tried to stop him. He ran away and they chased him. When they tried to catch him, he attacked them with the chopper," Hiremath said.

Nayar, an architecture graduate, has been arrested, the police officer said, adding a case has been filed against him under various sections of the IPC, including 307 (attempted murder) and also the Arms Act. DCP Zone 1 Sangramsinh Nishandar reached the spot immediately after the incident and made arrangements for the medical treatment and accommodation of the injured policemen, he said.

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The ongoing lockdown imposed by the government due to the Coronavirus outbreak in the country has taken a toll on the public lives of the people. With social distancing being the new norm, people have come up with innovative techniques to ensure the supply of essential goods is not affected. Just like this milkman who came up with a creative idea to deliver milk, which netizens are terming as ‘jugaad.’

In a photo of the person posted by IAS officer Nitin Sangwan, the customer is seen standing a few feet away from the milkman carrying four cans of milk behind his motorbike. A pipe is fixed on the back of the bike, with a funnel attached to it. As the milkman pours milk into the funnel, the customer holds a bowl on the other end of the pipe to collect the milk coming out of it.

Sangwan captions on the photo shared with his post, “Good to see that some people go extra mile to keep themselves and others safe,” adding how others can help maintain social distancing by staying at home and wearing mask.

Good to see that some people go extra mile to keep themselves and others safe.

Let's do basic minimum things of staying at home, wearing mask and keeping social distance even if we cannot go an extra mile like this innovative milkman. pic.twitter.com/RrjYVtdaKW

— Nitin Sangwan, IAS (@nitinsangwan) May 7, 2020

The photo of this innovative technique that ensures zero contact was shared on Thursday and has garnered 704 likes. It was also retweeted 105 times. Users commenting on the photo praised the idea and posted about how this ‘jugaad’ can help in maintaining social distance.

Creativity....This is called desi jugaaad.

— mahesh chemte (@mchemteMT) May 7, 2020

Super plan & i really appreciet the milk man ideas... dear indians plz keep distance, stay home

— Suryaprakash (@suryapr65773817) May 9, 2020

Kudos...innovative & creative to think of others and himself too, stay safe.

— Vimileswari Naidu (@VimileswariN) May 7, 2020

Now is the time for every Indian citizen to place safety before anything other priority so that we can break the Covid19 chain. Well done my dear milkman🙏

— SURESH SUBRAMANIAN (@SURESHSpallipur) May 8, 2020

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714 police officials have tested positive for COVID-19 in Maharashtra, including 648 active cases, as per information provided by the State Police. "So far, 61 officers have recovered after treatment; while five police officers succumbed to the lethal virus," it added. There have been 194 incidents of assault on police personnel during the lockdown period, and 689 accused have been arrested for that.

The total number of positive coronavirus cases across the country is 59,662, including 39,834 active cases of the virus.

Till now, 17,846 patients have either been cured or discharged while 1,981 deaths have been recorded in the country, as per data provided by the Ministry of Health.

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At a time when the Coronavirus outbreak has thrown people all over the world into despair, jazz legend Louis Armstrong’s ‘What a wonderful world’ bring a sense of hope and positivity. The song’s message of having a happier and better tomorrow couldn’t be any more relevant at such a time, which is why a rendition of the song that has gone viral on YouTube has won hearts online.

The video shared by the India chapter of the International Advertising Association features four melodious singers, Prabhakar Mundukur, Shalini Gupta, Subhash Kamat, and Rajeev Raja, who are a part of the Marketing and communications field.

The video opens with a message flashed on the screen that reads, “A musical message of optimism from the four members of the Marcom industry,” after which the singers present their soothing rendition of the famous song accompanied by the piano and the flute.

Shared on Tuesday, the video has garnered 4,885 views on YouTube with tons of comments praising the rendition and how the song made them feel refreshed.

A user said, “It’s people like you who make India a splendid part of this wonderful world.” Another user said, “Wow.. what a masterpiece !! Feel so refreshing.” One more user said, “Thank you, it is indeed a wonderful world and thank you for your part in making sure we hear it in your amazing voices. Beautiful!!"

What do you think about the post?

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A man has been arrested killing a senior citizen for scolding him and his partner after finding them in compromising position. The accused, identified as Karan Singh Yadav (30), was nabbed by cops from the Shanti Nagar Police in Bhiwandi from a quarantine facility in Parbhani whereas his partner is absconding.

The deceased, Krushna Joshi (72) owned a room in a chawl at Temghar pada. He had rented the room to Yadav’s partner, identified as Lata alias Jyoti Rathod (35). Yadav would often visit Rathod in her home. In April, when Joshi had gone to collect rent, he found the Yadav and Rathod in compromising position. Joshi then scolded the couple and warned Rathod to stop bringing her friends to the room.

According to the police, Rathod and Yadav, enraged by Joshi’s comments, decided to kill him. “On the night of April 11, the couple found Joshi alone at his house and hit him with a stone," said an officer, adding that the duo fled the city the same night.

On  April 12, when Joshi’s son, who stays closeby, tried to contact him, he didn’t respond.  He then rushed to Shanti Nagar Police station and filed a missing person report against his father. The police launched a search for Joshi and found that Rathod also went missing the same night. Senior Inspector Mamta D'Souza formed a team under the leadership of Assistant Police Inspector Amol More and Shailesh Mhatre and started the investigation.

The officer said that they found Rathod’s address in which it was mentioned that she is a native of Parbhani. We didn't have any other details such as her mobile number or the CCTV footage of the spot of the incident, so we decided to go to Parbhani to find her" told API Shailesh Mhatre. "When our team went to Parbhani, we visited the place mentioned in address but there was no one stay there of this name," he added.

The cops then decided to check quarantine centres in the district made for people coming from other districts. "We found a name similar to that of Rathod’s partner, Yadav. We then immediately interrogated him and he confessed to committing the crime, but Rathod is still absconding,” said API Mhatre.

During interrogation, Karan told the police that, he dumped Joshi’s body in a well near the chawl. The police team came back to the city and recovered Joshi’s body, which was found to be completely decomposed. An offence has been registered against Yadav and Rathod under IPC section 302 (murder), 201 (disappearance of evidence) and 34 (common intention of committing the crime).

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Dear Diana,
I got married a year ago. It was an arranged marriage. Before the wedding, my wife-to-be had confessed that she had been in a relationship with a guy four years ago. They drifted apart when he took up a job in the Gulf. She told she thought it was important to tell me as she wanted to come clean before beginning a new life with me. I appreciated her honesty. After our marriage, things were fine till three months ago. She would suddenly disappear for hours and not respond my calls. Thrice a week, she teaches at a private coaching institute, but even on days she was not needed at the institute, she would disappear from home on some pretext or the other. Last week, around 8 pm when I had just got back from work, she received a call. She told me she had to leave to meet a school pal, who was in Mumbai, only for a day. She said she was meeting her at a mall near our home. I knew things were amiss so followed her. To my shock, I found her sitting in a cafe at the mall with this guy. The two looked comfortable and kept laughing and giggling all the while. I went back home and accosted her when she returned. She then told me that her ex had given up his job and was back in Mumbai. All her disappearing acts was to meet this guy. She cried and said that she would not meet him again. But I do not trust her. What do I do?
— Kailash

Dear Kailash,
The trust is broken and things will never be the same again in your marriage. She may tell you she will not meet him, but you will continue to doubt her. Her ex will demand that she spend time with him. She has to cut off ties with her ex and remain faithful to you. You need to tell her exactly how you feel. Either you forgive her or take a decision, especially if you think she will continue to be with her ex. It's a difficult decision — but you will have to make a choice of being with her or not.

Dear Diana,
I liked this girl who I got to know at a friend's wedding. From the moment I met her, I felt she was the one for me. One day, I offered to drop her home after work and I just could not stop talking. I realised I had so much to tell her and she had lots to tell me too. For about eight months, we were together. We did not talk about the future, but we lived for the moment. Then one day she just vamoosed from my life. First, she stopped meeting me. Then, she would not take my calls or answer my SMSes. She did not even bother to tell me what was wrong. I did try to get in touch with her, but she would not respond. After two months, she sent a message through one of her friends explaining why she cut off ties with me. She felt as I was getting serious, it was better that she went her way. She felt her parents would not approve of me. Now it is over two years, but I still can't get this girl out of my mind.
— Yohan

Dear Yohan,
You are better off without this girl. She did not even tell you what was going on in her mind. She felt it was best to move away from the scene and cut off all ties with you. The girl was hiding things from you. She was not worthy of your love as she did not care for you or your feelings. There is no point thinking about why she dumped you. Instead, let bygones be bygones. She felt there was no future with you and moved away, so why are you still grieving for her? Get going and move on in life. The girl dumped you, why even think about her? Banish all thoughts about her.

Dear Diana,
I am a happy-go-lucky person who loves to make people laugh. Even when things go wrong, instead of fretting, I prefer to let go. My girlfriend, however, finds this habit of mine irritating. She just does not know how to laugh aloud. She's always serious and focussed. This is causing a lot of tiffs between us. She finds my sense of humour atrocious. I mean no harm to anyone, so I do not know why she can't chuckle along with me? We have had a lot of discussions, but she feels I go overboard. I call her Miss Stiff Upper Lip and she gets so annoyed that she stops talking to me for days. I just want to see her happy and laughing. My girl tells me she has always been like this so she can't be like me. I have told her to loosen up, but she is adamant. What do I do? How do I tell her that I am trying hard to please her? Why does she find me offensive? She also tells me that she often feels that I have inhaled laughing gas.
— Waman

Dear Waman,
Laughter can go a long way in maintaining a happy relationship. Your girl is the opposite of you. She does not feel the need to have a sense of humour or is perhaps unwilling to let go around you and be relaxed and fun-loving. You have told her to be relaxed, but it cannot be an overnight change. You need loads of patience as she will take time to be like you. At the same time, try to find out what has made her so serious. Is there something on her front that is troubling her? Make her feel comfortable and tell her it is alright to let go sometimes and have a good time with you.

Dear Diana,
My wife often falls prey to idle gossip. She then gets worked up and questions me. I find this irritating. Last week, one of my distant relatives was in town. He told her that I was friendly with this girl during my college days and how she used to often drop in at home. As soon as I was back from work that day, she threw a fuss. She felt I had hidden this aspect of mine from her. She wanted me to confess if I was in touch with her. I was angry and told her to not believe such nonsense. Then again someone told her that they had seen me in Bandra with some people. Her mind got working again overtime. She felt I was hanging out and having fun while she was sitting alone at home. I have told her not to believe in idle talk, but she refuses to pay any heed. How do I knock sense into her head?
— Lokesh

Dear Lokesh,
Your wife is not only suspicious, but has a problem on hand. She seems to be suffering from a personality disorder. She needs help. You need to seek a counsellor. At the same time, you need to tell the people around to stop feeding her with constant information about you. They may be saying things for a lark without any meaning. But she gives their talk a whole new meaning which is agonising you. Talking about your college days friendship with a girl is of no consequence now. Your relative may have said it by way of casual talk, but your wife sees red. You need to calm her down and tell her not to react to everything see sees, hears or overhears. She also needs to be gainfully employed or pursue a hobby. As they say an empty mind is a devil's workshop and your wife is a classic case of it.

Dear Diana,
I was with this girl for almost two years. I thought she was serious about me. I used to splurge on her and did whatever she fancied. Last week, however, she sprung a surprise. She told me her family had fixed her marriage. As the guy was based in the Gulf, she would soon be relocating after marriage. She told me that a small engagement ceremony had taken place at home. The marriage has been fixed for June. I was taken aback. All this while, she did not even once tell me that her parents were finding a match for her. We were planning a future together till last week and then she drops a bombshell that she is getting married to someone else. I am shattered. She has left me heartbroken. Now she refuses to meet me or answer my calls. What do I do? How could she just dump me like this? I am angry as well as sad. It is not that her family did not know about my existence. What should I do? She was my first love.
— Deep'

Dear Deep,
This girl just played with your feelings. You are a fool to have fallen in her trap. She knew from the beginning that she would not marry you. She considered you as time pass. You splurged on her and did whatever she fancied. This suited her fine. You seemed to have been her stop-gap arrangement till her parents found her a suitable match. Now that she has found someone, she has dumped you. You may be nursing a broken heart, but at the same time remember, there is no point moaning for her loss. This girl did not care for you or your feelings. She never loved you. So get going with your life. You have learnt your lesson. Next time be wary. When you feel down in the dumps, remember she did not reciprocate your feelings, so why even think about her? Move on as you deserve someone better.

Dear Diana,
I had an affair with this girl at my previous workplace. It lasted for about six months. I was married and so was she, so we knew we were playing with fire. We knew it would take us no where and only cause havoc in our respective families. She would often suffer from guilt pangs. Whenever she reminded me about my wife and kids, I would get angry at her. I felt she was the best woman I ever met. She gave me a sense of peace. She was patient and caring. She wanted nothing. I had never felt like this before even though I had my share of relationships. The affair is long over, but I can't get her out of my head. I long for her touch. What should I do? It has been so many years and we have not been in touch, but I cannot forget her. Often, I feel like meeting her, but then I feel I should not. I also wonder if she remembers me and still cares for me.
— Dharam

Dear Dharam,
You found someone special and this woman seems to have filled your life with happiness. She is still stuck in your memory because you have allowed yourself to be in that position. You two were indulging in an extra-marital affair, so sooner or later, you would have been caught causing an upheaval in your life. You have not been in touch with her, but you are still pining for her. The time you spent with her must have been memorable which you do not want to let go, but there is no point trying to get in touch with her again. She used to keep reminding you of the guilt pangs, so let her be. Why do you want to mess up your marital life? Let her remain happy wherever she is. Meanwhile, you should get going with your life as she has and keep all thoughts about her at bay.

Dear Diana,
My SSC exams just got over and I know for a fact that I am going to fail. The feeling scares me to a point where I can’t sleep or eat. I don’t want to interact with friends or my family. I am scared of letting them down, especially my mother. My parents are pretty strict and I don’t know how they will react if I fail. I tried very hard to learn everything, but when I was about to write my exam, I realised that I couldn’t remember anything. I was completely blank. No one has failed in my family. Please help. I am scared.
— Rohan

Illustraion/ Uday Mohite

Dear Rohan
It’s natural that you are feeling scared of telling your parents that you might flunk in your exams, but instead of being anxious all day, it’s best that you sit them down and tell them exactly what your problems are. Even if they shout at you at that moment, eventually they will understand what you are going through. In fact, who knows, they might be able to help the situation. You mentioned that you tried studying but couldn’t memorise, so may be your parents could help you improvise on the way you learn. Remember, that life is a long journey and these numbers in your exams do not dictate how successful you are going to become in the future. They are mere marks. It also seems that you are scared that your relatives might not think highly of you when they get to know that you have failed but at the end of the day, you have to live your life and are the best judge of your capabilities. Believe in yourself.

Dear Diana,
I've been in a relationship with a girl in my neighbourhood for the past few years. We hang out together and we are considered to be a couple. We have been together since our school days. Recently, I met another girl who has moved to our housing complex. I feel attracted to her even though I do not know her. She is extremely pretty. I keep fantasising about her. I do not understand why I have developed feelings for this other girl who I do not know. Some of my neighbours have befriended her and say that she is a sweet, caring girl. I want to strike a friendship with her, but at the same time do not want to hurt my girlfriend. What is worse is that we stay in the same neighbourhood so — sooner or later — my girlfriend is going to find out.
— Neeraj

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Neeraj,
You don't even know this new girl in the neighbourhood, but have fallen head over heels for her. As she is attractive, you might be infatuated by her. At the same time, you do not know if there is someone on her scene. You seem to be getting carried away by her looks. When you speak to her, you will have a different viewpoint of her. Your girlfriend will throw a fit when she finds out that you have developed feelings for someone else. Don't let this other woman ruin what you have with your girlfriend of so many years. Also, your mind is muddled. Sit down and think in what direction you are heading. First, get to know this new girl and then decide whether she is the girl of your dreams.

Dear Diana,
I have been with this girl for over three years now. Things are going fine, except the fact that her sister influences her a lot. She is older to my girlfriend and ever since their mother passed away when they were young, her elder sister has been a mother figure to her. I detest her sister as she keeps telling her stuff about me. According to my girlfriend, she is cautioning her, but I feel this is interference. Last week, she told her that she had seen me with a girl on the seafront. This was wrong information as I was out with some relatives who had come down from Ranchi and were keen to visit the beach. Whatever her sister tells her, she blindly believes. How do I tell her not to believe every word she tells her? My girlfriend is 24, but can't think for herself.
— Jason

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Jason,
Your girlfriend considers her elder sister as a mother figure. As her mom passed away when she was young, her sister has taken care of her. At the same time, now that she is 24, it is time she had a mind of her own. Her sister is being extra protective of her and that is understandable. If you are serious about her and are planning a future together, you need to sit down and talk to both of them. Tell them exactly how you feel. It is better to be honest and forthright. Perhaps your girl is not even realising how she is allowing herself to be influenced by her elder sister. She feels this is the done thing. At the same time, do not antagonise the sister or things might work against you and ruin your love life.

Dear Diana,
My friend and I have the hots for the same girl. I did not know earlier that he was also interested in her. He would keep showering her with praises, but I used to think it was because she was my girl. My pal is now proving to be an obstacle in my love life. He has been telling common friends that he introduced me to her and that I stole her from him. This is a lie as he barely knew her when he introduced her to me. In fact, he used to tell me that she was not his type of girl. The problem is that I don't know how to tell him. The girl is aware that he likes her, but she tells me that she cares for me. I don't even like the idea of him talking to her now. At the same time, my girl refuses to stop talking to him. I have told her to stop communicating with him, but she is in no mood to listen.
— Mohit

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Mohit,
First of all your girl is loving the attention you are showering on him as well as your buddy. Why is she encouraging him if she is not interested in him? She is to blame for your state of affairs. You could not muster enough courage to tell him that you liked the girl, so he went ahead showering his affections on her. So you can't blame your buddy. If the girl is interested in you, she would not be extra friendly with this guy too. You need to talk things out with your girl and tell her how you feel. If she does not make amends, then you need to do a rethink. Your girl will then have to choose between you and your friend. If she does not, it is time to get over this girl.

Dear Diana,
I have been with this guy for six months. I am not yet sure if he is the right guy for me. He keeps springing surprises and splurges me with gifts. He seems to have already made up his mind that I am the girl for him. I don't know why I am not yet convinced about him. At the same time, the way he is going about, I don't know how to tell him to go slow. I do not want to break his heart. He thinks I also like him and that we are made for each other. My guy gets carried away too fast. He is all out to prove that he cares for me. Often, I find this irritating. How do I tell him to go slow? I dread to think that if I feel he is not the guy for me, he will be devastated. It is not that I an leading him on. He is going too fast, too soon. On the other hand, I prefer to be cautious and slow in my approach.
— Naina

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Naina,
Your guy has made up his mind and you also need to take a decision soon. If you want time, you need to tell him clearly. It appears that this man is busy planning a future with you, while you do not even know if he will exist in your scheme of things. He is impulsive and a happy-go-lucky individual while you want to be safe, rather than be sorry. You may not be leading him on, but at least you can tell him to go slow. For starters, stop him when he goes on an overdrive buying gifts for you. This is his way of making you happy and you seem to be enjoying it. At the same time, if you two sit down and talk things out, he will have a clear picture of what is going on in your mind. It is time you were honest and forthright with him as he is with you.

Dear Diana,
For over two weeks, I have been nursing a broken heart. My guy had kept me in the dark about the other woman in his life. He was two-timing me and I had no clue. A friend would often see him with a girl riding pillion on his bike late nights. She would often tell me, but I paid no heed. I always felt it could be one of his female pals he was dropping home or one of his office colleagues. I did not think anything was amiss till he suddenly told me that he was moving on. I was taken aback. I did not even think for even a moment what was going on his head. We were together for two years, so it has been difficult for me. I was taken for a ride by him. He cheated on me and I believed the lies that he told me. I do not know what to do. He does not respond to my calls or messages, but I still pine for him.
— Megha

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Megha,
Why are you still pining for him when he dumped you and lied to you? This man is not worthy of your love. He kept you in the dark about the other woman in his life. He was two-timing you. It is clear that he was not interested in you from the beginning. You seem to be a stop-gap agreement and the day he was bored of you, he dumped you. Move on in life and next time be wary. Your friend would keep telling you about his waywardness, but you did not pay attention to her. If you had questioned him at that time, things could have been different. Get going in your life. Do not pine for him. Remember he dumped you, so why even care for this man?

Dear Diana,
I work in a multinational company and I have to put in long hours at work. My wife chose to quit her job after our wedding since she thought one of us needs to take care of the house. However, I am constantly appalled at the way she keeps the house. It is always messy and sometimes downright dirty when I enter the home after a long day at work. I tried talking to her about the cleanliness and hygiene part, but she snaps back at me saying she doesn’t get enough time. But I see her lazing all the time. What do I do? Please help.
— Nishant Khare

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Nishant,
Different people have different ideas about cleanliness and hygiene. Perhaps because of the way they have been brought up. You should have had a clear communication with your wife about her duties before marriage. Even now you can sit her down and explain to her about what you expect from her. Since you work hard to make sure that her financial needs are met, it is only fair that you expect her to work enough to keep you happy at home.

If she resists, how about hiring a maid to do the cleaning work? Not every woman can be expected to be house proud and take pride in sweeping and swabbing. Your wife might be having other hobbies. If hiring a maid is an extra financial burden you can put down certain basic rules gently to your wife. If she loves you enough, she is bound to bend a little.

Dear Diana,
I had lied to my mother that I was going overnight with my pals to Lonavla. The fact was that I was spending time with my girlfriend at a common pal's house whose flat is vacant. The next day while unpacking my bag, my mother found my girlfriend's T-shirt in the bag. She wondered how a female pair of clothing was among my clothes. It was a girlie T-shirt and not one of those unisex T-shirts which I could pass off as one of my friends. I then cooked up a story saying that one of my pal's girlfriends had tagged along. But she still wondered how it reached my bag. The fact was that my girlfriend was carrying a lot of stuff and while packing, it slipped in with a large bath towel. I had just stuffed my towel in the bag and did not realise that her top went in with it. I told my mom to discard it, but she has washed it and kept it in my cupboard. I am embarrassed and do not know what to say. My mother has not broached the subject again. What should I do? I feel guilty. Should I tell her the truth?
— Nayan

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Nayan,
First, learn to handle your own stuff — you are making your mom do things for you still! Instead of stuffing your bag with bundles of clothes, if you had neatly folded the clothes and kept it, this problem would not have arisen. Also, when you were back home, you dumped your bag and made your mother do the unpacking. It is time you learn to do your own stuff. You seem to have your mother doing all your work. If you had unpacked your bag and separated the clothes that needed to be washed, you would have found your girlfriend's top rolled in the towel. So you alone are to blame for the predicament that you find yourself in. If you are riddled with guilt, tell your mom the truth who by now already knows what you are trying to hide.

Dear Diana,
I have fallen in love with my best friend's wife. They got married recently. I was attracted to her the day I saw her, just before their wedding. I am single. When I am around with her, I try my best to contain my feelings for her, but I cannot. I keep dropping in at their home on some pretext or the other. I have never had such feelings for any other girl. My buddy is planning to go on a holiday to Goa. A lot of our common pals are also going, so he has also told me to come along. I am scared that I do not do something stupid and make things embarrassing for her. I find my feelings for her getting stronger day-by-day. I keep fantasising about her. She calls me bhaiyya which I detest. At the same time, I would never do anything that would destroy my friendship with my buddy. What do I do? Should I just break my friendship with him?
– Amar

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Amar,
You are well aware that you are playing with fire. She is your buddy's wife, so if you are thinking of a future with her, be ready to get scorched. Remember you are ruining your life, her life, as well as your buddy's life. You may be attracted to her, but you will have to contain your feelings for her. Have you ever wondered how your pal will react? How will you face your buddy when he realises what is on in your mind? A relationship with your pal's wife will only ruin your life. You seem to have let yourself go. It is easy to say that you are attracted to her, but you need to draw the line. She calls you bhaiyya, so she has no clue what is going on. It will come as a shock to her when she realises that you are lusting for her. Banish any such thoughts if you do not want to lose your friend. If you are finding it difficult, limit your interactions with his wife for a while. Also, get going with your life and find someone else.

Dear Diana,
My guy has this peculiar habit of poking fun at me. Whatever I do, he has a problem. He does not like the way I dress, the way I eat and the way I talk. Recently, I enrolled in a gym and he finds it amusing. He has been asking me daily how many inches I have lost. He has been sarcastic and instead of goading me to lose weight and motivate me, he is going on a different tangent. I try hard to please him, but he always takes offence. We have been together for eight years. He says he is afraid to commit, so even though we are in our early 30s, a wedding is not on the horizon for now. I usually do not react to whatever he says, so after a while he has to keep quiet. When we are with friends, he behaves loving and caring, but when we are alone, he shows his true colours. I am fed up of him and his recent behaviour has been obnoxious. He even lands up at the gym to watch me work out and questions the instructor whether I am serious about it. What should I do?
— Sandy

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Sandy,
Why are you still sticking around with a guy who leaves no opportunity to demean you? Why have you been taking all his nonsense all these years? You seem to have developed low self-esteem because of this man. He needs to accept you, the way you are – just the way you have accepted him. He does not ridicule you in front of his pals because they will chide him. He knows that you are submissive and meek, so he can get away by telling you anything. It is time you stopped being the doormat. More importantly, you need to sit down and take a decision. Do you want to be with a man who ridicules you or respects you? The choice is yours. If you want to stick around, stop complaining. But if you want a man who respects you, walk out on him.

Dear Diana,
My girlfriend has been behaving strange lately. There is a 12-year age difference between us. At times, I feel she is childish. She sometimes tells me I'm the one for her, but then she ignores me and, at times, I am like a father-figure to her. In front of my pals, she behaves like a kid and they have started making fun of me. Things were not like this earlier. I liked her as she was mature and far beyond her age of 23. I am 35 and my family is putting pressure on me to wed. But looking at her recent weird acts, I am having second thoughts about marriage. She tells me that she does not mind marrying me for now. I find it strange. Does this mean that when she finds someone else, she will dump me? Her pals tell her I am too old and that she should be with someone in her age group. Things are getting more weird as now she is telling me that we should take a break in our relationship. I don't know what she will do next. Am I better off without her?
— Neel

Dear Neel,
It could be that she doesn't like you and does not want to say it clearly. She is going on this weird trip thinking that you will go your way. You can't be in a relationship with a girl who is all muddled up. Initially, you say, things were fine despite the age difference. This means either she has been influenced by her pals or there is someone else on the scene. Taking a break means that you two might not get back together. Sit down with her and tell her honestly what you feel about the situation. If she continues with her weird act, you need to take a decision. Then you are better off without this woman who keeps changing her stance.

Dear Diana,
My boyfriend and I stay in the same residential complex. We have been neighbours for over a decade. Our friendship blossomed into love and we have been going steady for the last three years. Four months ago, a new family moved into the building. They have a beautiful and young daughter who wants to be a model. All the building guys have taken a fancy to her, including my guy. I detest when he talks about her. He keeps saying how beautiful she is. This is causing a rift between us. I feel he is falling for this other woman. Last week, we had a showdown and he told me that I was an insecure woman. I cannot take the constant attention he showers on her. What do I do? He has already told another resident of the building to introduce her to him. I am sure that he wants to have an affair with her. How do I stop him from going overboard with this new girl?
— Vedika

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Vedika,
He is right in calling you an insecure woman. You have known him for years and the mere presence of a new girl in the neighbourhood is giving you sleepless nights — you need to learn to trust him. This new girl is young and pretty and all the guys in the housing complex have taken a fancy to her. You need to understand that he is not having an affair with her, he is just trying to get her attention like the rest of the guys in the building. He does not even know her, so how can he have an affair with her? She might have a guy on her scene. You do not know if she is single or committed. So stop spinning an imaginary web where you see her as a threat to your love life. You need to take a chill pill.

Dear Diana,
I was in a relationship with this girl over a decade ago. We went our ways, but there was no single reason what caused a rift between us. We did not know where we were heading. There was no possibility of a future together as both of us were married. So it was a case of an extramarital affair for the two of us. After about six months, she got cold feet and stopped meeting me. In a fit of anger, I told her to not talk to me. We used to work at the same place. I then decided to switch jobs. After that she did not try to get in touch with me nor did I contact her. It has been 11 years that there has been no communication between us. My problem is that I think of her every single day. There is not a day that I do not wonder what she is up to. At many times, I feel like getting in touch with her, but then refrain. I do not want to cause an upheaval in her life, but how do I get her out of my head?
— Rishabh

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Rishabh,
It has been over a decade that you two called it quits. Time is the greatest healer, but you still seem obsessed with her. The reason being that you did not seek closure. If you had, perhaps you would not pine for her still. You state that you two just drifted apart and you cannot pinpoint a reason. If only you two had sat down and ascertained the reason, things would have been clearer on your front. There is no point getting in touch with her. Refrain from trying to communicate with her even in the weakest moments. Also, most importantly, the two of you are married, so you will be causing havoc in the lives of your respective partners as well. Let her live her life while you need to move on. You are living in the past, it is time you learn to live in the present. This girl is your past, so let her remain there.

Dear Diana,
I have been with this girl for almost a year. Things are going fine between us except that she does not get along with my sister. She just did not gel with her from day one. I thought things would improve over time, but things are going downhill between them. She is my elder sister and has been a mother figure to me ever since our mother passed away when we were young. How do I make her resolve her differences with my sister? I hold my sister in high regards, so it is important that she gives us our blessings. We plan to get married next year. I have been trying to make them sit down and resolve their differences, but it is proving to be tough for me. Last week, I took them to a mall, but they ended up fighting with each other. I think it is an ego issue between them.
– Yuvi

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Yuvi,
You are caught between these two women and it is difficult to please one as then you are offending the other. You say it is an ego issue, so you need to settle their differences with great tact. Listen to what each of them has to say individually and then resolve their differences. At the same time, these two women need to realise that both of them are important to you. There is no question of offending any one of them. You three need to sit down with an open mind and deliberate on what are the issues that are causing heartburn. You say the two women just did not click from day one. In such a scenario, it is then important to live and let live. If the two are constantly going to be at loggerheads, a reconciliation will be impossible. In such a scenario, you will need to give them space while you be the common factor.

Dear Diana,
My wife and I have been married for four years now. Both of us have had very different upbringings. While I have been living away from my parents for over ten years, my wife has always lived with her parents. Although she is a free-thinking and independent woman, I feel that she is overly dependent on her parents. No matter what issues she faces, her parents are the first ones to know. I do not have a problem with her discussing her issues with them, the issue I have is that she should be able to filter what she discusses with them and draw a line. Just the other day, she was telling them about a fight we had and how to resolve it. Do they need to know everything? Sometimes I feel that I am overreacting and should accept her for what she is but then again, why do her parents need to know everything that's going on in our lives? I have tried talking to her but she thinks that I am overthinking. What do I do? Please help.
– Rakesh

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Rakesh,
Your situation is slightly tricky but with a little effort you can resolve the issue. First, you need to understand that everyone shares a different kind of rapport with their parents. May be you are okay not calling yours often since you are used to that kind of set up but just like your wife there are several others for whom parents come first no matter what the situation is and they need to discuss everything with them. I suggest you sit down and talk to her about what you expect from her. Politely tell that that you don't mind her talking to her parents often but she needs to know the boundaries. Also, converse often because may be it's the lack of communication that makes her vent to her parents in the first place.

Dear Diana,
I was friendly with this guy almost a decade ago. We got along well — I could talk to him for hours. There was never any shortage of subjects and I always felt time just flew when I was with him. He was not the outgoing type, but in my presence he opened up. He told me that he was at peace whenever he was with me. We never spoke about the future or where we were heading to. We just talked and talked about everything and anything. From the most routine of stuff to national headlines to religious debates. It was as if we were destined to meet and to talk. I used to always feel I would meet this one guy who would be special. It was him. Our friendship, however, lasted barely a year. I wanted him to be my best buddy, perhaps my only buddy, but he wanted more. He wanted a physical relationship. That's when the problem arose. I had to tell him whether I 'liked' him or 'loved' him. In a fit of anger, he stopped talking to me. I let him be and after that we never spoke again. But I still pine for him after all these years.
— Neesha

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Neesha,
You were genuine in your friendship with him, but this guy wanted more. He was only interested in a physical relation which you were not ready for — or perhaps needed more time to commit yourself to him. If he really cared for you and loved you, he would not have dumped you. It is clear that he did not respect your feelings. You had clearly told him what was on your mind, still he was hellbent on doing what he wanted to. You are better off without this guy — you need someone who respects you. As you got so involved with him, you are still pining for him. He did not give you a chance to seek closure as he just walked off. You are better off without this foolish guy. Over time, you will forget him, so stop thinking about him.

Dear Diana,
I recently changed jobs and on my first day in the new office, I met this wonderful woman. She proved to be of great help to me. She made me feel comfortable and we got along well. She is a workaholic and an ambitious person. We often sit in office late as she is eager to finish off the paperwork. As we are part of a legal team, there is a lot of paperwork that needs to be done. I was attracted to her the moment I saw her, but now I am in love with her. I do not know how to tell her that I care for her. I have been dropping hints, but she is not reciprocating. The other day we were in the office till 10 pm and I suggested that we catch a bite. But she said no as it would get too late. I do not know if she is playing hard to get. How do I get to know what is on her mind?
– Rehan

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Rehan,
First, you need to find out if there is anyone on her scene. Only then can you think of planning a future with her. There may be someone special in her life, so that could be the reason, she is not reacting. Or perhaps, she is so engrossed in work that she has no time to romance. It could also be that she just refuses to react. She may have her own reasons, so meanwhile you can continue with dropping hints. You are still relatively new in the organisation, so do not mess up things. It will have an impact on your personal as well as professional life. For now, just go with the flow, and only after it is clear that there is no one on her scene, make the move. She also may not want to rush into a relationship, so is taking time. For now, be patient.

I am 19 years old and have been dating someone for 2 years now. We love each other very much but there is one thing I don’t like about him, which disturbs me a lot. He thinks I am fat, which is not right. I agree I don’t have a flat tummy, which is what he wants, but I am not fat. We have heated arguments about this. He also thinks crop tops don’t suit me. I have started dieting and going to the gym, working hard on my body even though my own parents don’t think it necessary. He still taunts me when he sees a girl with a perfect body, and this hurts me a lot. He should be with me and support me, but taunts me instead. I have spoken to him, but it doesn't seem to work. Please help. I can’t take more taunts.

Your boyfriend sounds like a moron, to be honest. I understand that you love him, but I can’t figure out why his idea of what you should look like and what you should wear should be accepted as a norm by you. It’s your life, your body and your decision to wear what you feel like. If you decide to accept his bizarre demands, you are setting a precedent for what the future of your relationship will be like. It’s not okay for someone to tell you how you should look. It’s not okay for someone to comment on what you wear. The only people who do that are ministers in our country, because they don’t really know better and because most of them haven’t been to school. Your love for your boyfriend should never be more than your love for yourself. If he doesn’t get that, he’s not worth being with. The sooner you understand that, the better your life will be, and the higher your chances of finding happiness with someone who accepts you unconditionally at some point in your future.