First volume of manga adaptation ships on April 15

Ryubi Miyase, Rinka Kumada star in film directed by Liar x Liar's Saiji Yakumo

Within the world of CAD there are the well-known and more niche big commercial players and there are projects like FreeCAD that seek to bring a OSS solution to the …read more

"There are many things that we would throw away if we were not afraid that others might pick them up."

"I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away."

Every tear wiped away, But not in Isreal Not in Gaza. Where’s your Messiah now?  Ukraine’s sunflowers weep, Unable to follow the sun Attrited by Third Rome’s janissaries, Iconostases rubbled By eyes in the sky weeping ruin.  Iron beasts, slain Litter desert, forest,  By isotopic arrows despoiled, Cancerous, ravenous, patient.  Empty hearths.   Children’s questions.  Abba? […]

The post Jerusalem Can Wait  appeared first on Waiter Rant.

Things you have to do  To your body stay true. Diet, exercise, apothecary Doctors, tests, insurance mandatory.  Youth ground away  A little more each day But forget counsel’s irredentist I still have to go to the dentist.  Ever since battles malignant Naked, poked – most indignant Chattering angst free floats  Whenever I spy a lab […]

The post Fighting Decay  appeared first on Waiter Rant.

If you strip away the rhetorical flourishes, here is what we are told every day: 1) If you aren’t Jewish, you may not disagree when I say something is antisemitic. 2) Any objection to the genocide being carried out against Palestinians is antisemitic. If you disagree, see 1). 3) Therefore, you must either admit to … Continue reading Subjectivity, Objectivity, and Political Action

One Shot Episode comic 1610
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While I do not think that the internet necessarily needs another recipe for burnt Basque cheesecake, it turns out I did. And since you’re stuck with me for as long as you’re here, pull up a chair, because we can’t get enough of this one.

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Consider this the summer flip of one of my favorite recipes in my third cookbook, Smitten Kitchen Keepers — the apple butterscotch crisp.

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If you were to make a multi-part Venn diagram combining my favorite salad things, you could nestle this right in the center. It’s one part wedge salad, the fork and steak knife kind, something I am so into I talked my podcast co-host Kenji (okay, it wasn’t hard) into dedicating a whole episode to it. And it contains cabbage, and not just cabbage but Napa cabbage, which I think deserves more credit as a salad green. [This can be convenient to know as it often comes in heads large enough to feed a small family for a week.] Napa cabbage is a little leafy, a little crunchy, and yet kind of juicy too and I’ve used it, sliced thin, in everything from this Italian-style salad to a classic Caesar.
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“I was looking for a simple roasted carrot recipe on your site and couldn’t find one,” a friend told me a month ago and I immediately put “simple roasted carrot recipe” on my sprawling, decades-long To Cook list because sometimes I forget myself, too. Spoiler: I was never going to write a simple recipe for roasted carrots.

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Confession time! As someone with more opinions than I can fit in three cookbooks, one audiobook, and even 18 years of archives on this website, sometimes when I want to grumble about something food-related but it’s not the time or place, I tuck it in a little document called “rants” that is so full of cringe, you only have my permission to publish posthumously. But I can’t write a headnote for this particular cake without first owning up to #23 on the list in advance: “Apple cider cakes are lies.” Which begs the questions: Who hurt you, Deb? What gives? Essentially, my quibble is that you can put all of the wonderful fresh-pressed apple cider you want in a cake, but it rarely comes through to actually taste like apple cider. The flavor is not robust enough. I’m not saying it can’t be wildly delicious with all of the cinnamon spice we also put in these cakes, but it rarely, to me, tastes like an accurate representation of its name.

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October is Pizza Month, minions, so this is a great time to go over a few reminders.

 Ahem hem hem.

Bakers, repeat after me.

"Pizza crust is not shiny."


Bakers repeating en masse: "Pizza crust is not shiny."

"Pizza crust is not held aloft by piles of poop."

"Pizza crust is not held aloft by piles of poop."

"If people can't tell my cakes are supposed to be pizzas, then I should stop making pizza cakes."

"If people can't..."

Bakers' Spokesperson, interrupting: "But what if we printed the pizza on the cake?"

::brief silence::

"No."

"What if we make the cake a slice of pizza?"

"NO."

"What if we made the cake brownies instead of cake?"

"HOW IS THAT BETTER"

"Ok, ok, fine. We won't make pizza cake."

"Excellent! Wait. Why am I suddenly nervous?"

"BOOYAH!!!!"

::sigh::

"I'm out."

Thanks to Anony M.,  Robyn, Heidi L., Carole D., Anony M., & Bartley I., for giving us a hand. Also are those pickles? Because I would totally eat pickles on pizza. Just me? 

*****
Here's an extra toasty way to celebrate Pizza Month:

Double-Sided Pizza Throw Blanket

It's hard to put a price on a blanket that makes you believe you ARE a pizza, but apparently the going rate is about $27. :p

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Happy Halloween, minions! Let’s go out with a bang, shall we? :D

Bakeries get a lot of leeway this time of year, since Halloween is supposed to have ugly gross stuff:

 

But there's raspberry jam soaked zombie faces, and then there's... uh... this:

Took me a solid minute to figure it out:

A banana shooting laser beams.

(I am SO GOOD AT THIS, you guys.)

 

Yep, bakers are once again trying to collectively punk the world, churning out ridiculous Halloween designs each more baffling than the last:

Aliens? Amoebas?
This guy?

 

I actually see this design a lot:

The angry toilet paper has sprouted arms, and is pulling itself to freedom.

 

While this roll vows revenge on airbrushes everywhere:

"I am not 'pretty,' I AM THE TERRIFYING TP! Here to WIPE you out! Mwuah-ha-haaawhy are you laughing?"

 

Next we have an ice cream swirl wearing a traffic cone about to be impaled by a trident.
Because if THAT doesn't say "Happy Halloween"... then don't worry 'cuz the board does:

 

For some reason ghost sperm are always a big seller this time of year:

They look kinda confused, though, right?
Like they can't tell if they're coming or going.

[HEYO.]

 

Also confused? Me, after looking at this thing:

They managed to get icing absolutely everywhere except on top of the cupcakes.
Now that's scary.

 

And finally, a possessed stove burner:

Because haunted appliances are SO hot right now.

("It burns. IT BURRRRNS!")

 Have fun tonight, gang! Remember, this is the one night of the year when it’s OK to have candy for dinner, so take FULL advantage.

There's a ghost of a chance Brittany D., Carrie, Ginny V., Karen S., Megan S., Karrie T., Jennifer K., Jennifer R., & Shannon T. will be ordering out tonight. You're welcome, ladies!

******

P.S. Today's TP ghost cakes led me to the best home accessory ever:

THIS, my friends, is a "Talking Toilet Paper Spindle." You record your own message, which it will play back when your guests spin the roll. [rubbing hands together evilly] I can't wait to use this baby at our next Christmas party.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

And now, as a service to our readers' dieting endeavors:

7 MORE Things That Should Never Be On Cake

7. Anything that looks like a spleen

Also, why is the spleen the go-to organ for icky descriptions? You never hear someone say, "Hey, that organesque thing sure looks like a gallbladder!" Which begs the questions: is "organesque" a word? 'Cuz if not, it totally should be.

6. Shrimp

Because shrimp.

5. Nipples

Hey, don't get me wrong; nipples are great. Heck, I even have one myself. But cake should not have nipples. It just shouldn't. And the fact that I had to bring that sentence into the world makes me seriously question the direction this country is going.

4. Ants

Because anything I spend time and money trying to kill should not be something I have to pick off my cake.

3. Actual Feathers Plucked From Actual Birds

Let me get this straight: you jammed real feathers into the icing you expect me to eat?

So how about I fetch a beaver pelt and throw that sucker on there, too? Because if there's one thing we've learned about cake decorating, it's that animal outsides are both appetizing and completely sanitary!

2. Mold

BAKERS WHY DO I EVEN HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE.

1. Back hair

Actually, this is kind of hilarious.

Assuming those are chocolate shavings, of course.

***

SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME THOSE ARE CHOCOLATE SHAVINGS.

Thanks to wreckporters Kathryn B., Kerrigan W., Ashlee, Kelly G., Rocky J., Tami F., & Anony M. for the inspiration to just have a salad today.

Technically Veterans Day was yesterday here in the U.S., but since a lot of us get today off to celebrate, CELEBRATE WE SHALL.

Veterans Day is all about honoring those who have and are serving in our country's military. There are lots of great ways to do this:

This is not one of them.

Now, I happen to know that a fair number of military personnel read this blog - a fact I find both humbling and just a teensy bit alarming, since I'm not sure those who share my twisted sense of humor should have access to heavy artillery. (Holy Hand Grenade, anyone?) 

On the other hand, I do so enjoy all the e-mails with the giant "DECLASSIFIED" stamps on them.  Makes me feel all James Bond-ish, only in an American, hermit-girl-blogger kind of way.

So in your honor, my dear veterans, here are some patriotic cake designs that will surely bring a tear to your eyes.

 Tissue?

The underline is what really sells it.

Of course today is about you, the troops:

And as "Owl Troops" you deserve "Supott."

Because you are all "Hero's."

 And so we "honer" you, our "vetr ans."

Kind of like how we honor the flag, the symbol of this great nation:

Stirring.

No wait, I take that back: this Wreck leaves me shaken, not stirred. [ba dum bump!]

Some bakeries pipe their greetings on clear plastic sheets, which they then lay on top of the finished cakes. It's cheating, sure, but this way bakers can trace their messages or start over if they make a mistake.

Or just slap the plastic on anyway and call it a "Vetrans" day.

So remember, everyone: it is thanks to our veterans that we have the freedom to live in this great country, the United States...

 ...of Amercia?

Hang on, that doesn't sound right. Can we try that one again?

Muuuch better. 

(But who stole the corner piece?!)

Thanks to Eric H., Dave K., Sara B., Nikki G., Adria P., Tory L., Michael H., Christina R., Tara L., & Allyson H. for fully vetting today's wrecks.

Welcome, everyone! My partner and I are officially homeowners and we got to sign our paperwork in a haunted law office. Absolute perfection. We won’t move in for a bit because there’s painting to do and flooring to replace, but I’m feeling very emotional (in a good way) about the whole thing. The notion of not renting anymore and being able to customize whatever I want feels so freeing! The possibilities are endless! I’m also … Continue reading Links: Podcasts, Cheese, & More →

Welcome to Book Beat! Book Beat aims to highlight other books that we may hear about through friends, social media, or other sources. We could see a gorgeous ad! Or find a new-to-us author on a list of underrated romances! Think of Book Beat as Teen Beat or Tiger Beat, but for books. And no staples to open to get the fold-out poster.

This piece of literary mayhem is exclusive to Smart Bitches After Dark, but fret not. If you'd like to join, we'd love to have you! Have a look at our membership options, and come join the fun! If you want to have a little extra fun, be a little more yourself, and be part of keeping the site open for everyone in the future, we can’t wait to see you in our new subscription-based section … Continue reading Lady Whiskerdown’s Letters from the Cat Cafe →

Kim is a longtime SBTB reader. She writes boring professional documents by day to fund her ever-growing TBR pile, which is currently overflowing with T. Kingfisher, mystery thrillers, and MM romance. Everything she knows about hockey, she learned from queer love stories or the Mighty Ducks franchise. … Recently, I’ve been on an M/M hockey romance binge (and let me just say “queer romance” + “professional hockey” is the Reese’s “you got your peanut butter … Continue reading Season’s Change by Cait Nary →

This HaBO is from Krysty, who wants to find this romance: Hi, I stumbled upon your website yesterday hoping someone will help me find this book. It’s been in my head for over 10 years and I’m beginning to forget. So the book is about a heroine – Marianne or Mary – can’t quite remember, falls in love with a brooding, standoffish hero with a scarred face who stays in the dark in a big … Continue reading HaBO: Yet Another Scarred Hero, Virgin Heroine →

Clinton is helping

eggplant and peach emoji

Hi Moray

the Joyce special

Rajesh is a good dude

I was laughing the whole time I was drawing that last panel

apologies to the real life Dr. Burnell

Video james

I'm gonna be at Gencon this August! I'll have some books and stuff and will be doing sketches and complimenting your pet photos. SEE YOU THERE???

remember when Steve bought a boat?

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