But passing them too closely results in a pretty sweet 360.

~NSHA

What should you do when you hit a deer and it breaks your headlight? Take a headlight out of your John Deere, of course!

No, I cannot. Because I am now deaf. ~Not-So-Handy Andy

It’s no surprise that the sore winners at Fox News are already working to demonize people that don’t love the Felonious p***y grabber as much as they do. But in this case, they really ought to come up with better material.

Media Matters caught the delusional exchange on Fox & Friends this morning. It started out with cohost Steve Doocy saying “people are all entitled to their opinion” but since Trump just won a four-year term, “just deal with it.”

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Of all the insane choices Trump could make for his cabinet, I didn't even see this one coming

Pete fucking Hegseth? He's been a TV asshole since 2014.

Over the years I've described this jackass as Trump's personal fluffer.

I'm not questioning his service, but this is fucking Looney Tunes.

Hegseth was a failed nominee for Trump for the position of Veterans Affairs back in 2018.

NewsHound Ellen wrote this article at the time: Fox Host Pete Hegseth Outed As Self-Dealing, Adulterous Hypocrite, Passed Over For VA Nomination

This twit even had the nerve to claim the term Redskins was a term of respect when the Washington football was embroiled in the name controversy. Fox's Hegseth: 'Redskins' Used Historically As 'A Term Of Respect'

Recently his claim to fame was to get war criminals found guilty by military courts pardoned by Trump.

It’s bad enough that Donald Trump seemingly plans to “honor” Memorial Day by pardoning a slew of war criminals, it’s even worse that the decision came after secret lobbying efforts by Fox & Friends host Pete Hegseth.

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The Trump team is considering a draft executive order that establishes a “warrior board” of retired senior military personnel *cough*Mike Flynn*cough* with the power to review three- and four-star officers and to recommend removals of any deemed unfit for leadership. What could possibly go wrong? Via the Wall St. Journal:

If Donald Trump approves the order, it could fast-track the removal of generals and admirals found to be “lacking in requisite leadership qualities,” according to a draft of the order reviewed by The Wall Street Journal. But it could also create a chilling effect on top military officers, given the president-elect’s past vow to fire “woke generals,” referring to officers seen as promoting diversity in the ranks at the expense of military readiness.

As commander in chief, Trump can fire any officer at will, but an outside board whose members he appoints would bypass the Pentagon’s regular promotion system, signaling across the military that he intends to purge a number of generals and admirals.

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It's important that Democrats understand that Trump's winning margin was as tiny as his hands, because he will simply keep repeating the word "mandate" until Congress and the media are hypnotized into submission. Don't let him get away with it.

Joan Walsh in The Nation:

As blue Western states and cities finish counting votes, it looks like the popular vote “landslide” projected for Donald Trump last week turned out to be a trickle. When all the votes are counted, he will end up with a margin of roughly two points over Vice President Kamala Harris. Presidents Lyndon Johnson in 1964 and Richard Nixon in 1972 won more than 60 percent of the popular vote; Ronald Reagan in 1984 won 58 percent. Those were landslides.

Jonathan Chait in New York Magazine:

Upon learning that he had won a clear election victory, Donald Trump responded, as is his custom, with a transparent lie. “America has given us an unprecedented and powerful mandate,” he gloated.

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Fox News legal editor Kerri Urbahn told 'The Story with Martha McCallum that Trump could force a pardon from Gov. Hochul by threatening to withhold federal funds to New York unless she pardons his 34 felonies.

This shouldn't come as a surprise since Urbahn was the Director of Public Affairs for the Department of Justice under Attorney General Bill Barr during the first Trump administration.

This segment was prompted by the judge delaying a decision on Trump's 34 felony convictions for another week.

MACCALLUM: Governor Hochul could also pardon President Trump on these charges because it is a state charge, right?

URBAHN: Yeah that's right and look she needs to really be thinking through this because New York state needs federal money and they get a lot of it.

And there is a lot that the federal government could do in terms of pulling funding from both the city and the state of New York. There's a bunch of ways to do it through the Justice Department and other places, and you know, at the end of the day it's all politics.

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Fox News hosts, like the MAGA cult, apparently do not care who Trump puts in his cabinet. Cartoon characters are just as acceptable as real people, don't you know?

To hell with Congressional approval.

Trump only hires great people, right?

Pete Hegseth is one rung higher than Daffy Duck, but well below Bugs Bunny.

Jessica Tarlov had a few words for Trump's choices so far and Watters couldn't handle it.

TARLOV: And you have Marco Rubio and Mike Waltz out there who are completely pro-Ukraine, which I think is fantastic.

Completely pro-Israel.

WATTERS: When you say pro-Ukraine, what do you mean by that?

TARLOV: I mean they think that Ukraine should be supported and that Putin is the authoritarian.

WATTERS: Rubio voted against the funding for Ukraine the last time.

TARLOV: Talk to him about peace settlement. If you think that it's a good thing for that kind of position-taking within the Republican Party, you're just wrong.

WATTERS: Trump's the commander-in-chief.

You could put Daffy Duck in there, who cares?

Secretary of State, Defense, Treasury, and other cabinet posts are important to the function of our country.

When Jesse Watters and other right wing jerk-offs are losing a discussion they unravel and babble nonsense. Secretary of State, Defense and other cabinet posts are important to the function of our country.

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Name: Scandanavian Swimmers Brand: Trader Joe’s Place Purchased: Trader Joe’s (Silver Lake) Price: $2.99 Size: 14 ounces Calories per ounce: 107 Type: Jelly Rating: 7 out of 10

In the latest Candyology 101 podcast, Maria and I tackled a little-celebrated candy bar, the Whatchamacallit. We’re also trying out a new format, which is a little shorter, like a handful of fun size candy bars!

Name: HiCHEW Sours Brand: Morinaga Place Purchased: Daiso Market (Little Tokyo) Price: $1.50 Size: 3.17 ounces Calories per ounce: 113 Type: Chew/Sour Rating: 8 out of 10

Wat.

Between threats from Anonymous and a new crackdown from Twitter, ISIS is having a tough time reaching out and recruiting new psychopaths online.

To circumvent the censorship, the Islamic militant group has reportedly created its own social network called “Khelafabook.”

The Facebook clone claims it is independent and not actually sponsored by ISIS (even though it has ISIS logos all over its homepage). It says its goal is to show the world that they don’t only “live in caves” and “carry guns,” and they vow to “will rule the world by Allah’s permission.”

Khelafabook was set up by a man in Mosul, Iraq, according to The Independent, and is hosted in Egypt. There’s also an associated Twitter account which is linked to from the site.

The site first popped up last week, but has already been taken offline “to protect the info and details of its members,” according to a message on the page.

After it was taken down, Twitter accounts associated with Anonymous appeared to claim responsibility, as Vocativ points out.

For the the time being they’ll have to look elsewhere to share their terrorist pancake recipes.

Many of us have heard some wild and awkward junk said by teachers, but the substitutes are an interesting bunch. They seem to inhabit this weird gray area of accountability, and are somehow absolutely free to not give a rip. For some more teacher stuff, here are kids' hilarious misconceptions about teachers.

Power Rangers villain, Rita Repulsa made Cyber Monday a little more interesting by apparently "hacking" the official Power Rangers movie Twitter account. Go, go Rita Repulsa.

It's as if Evans is battling it out with the 'Red Skull' himself. A word to the wise, a Twitter Pro Tip if you will: maybe don't go after Captain America himself, unless you're ready for a solid ass-whooping. 

MEANWHILE at the U.S. - Canada border

I DON'T KNOW DENISE sometimes I feel like we live in a slum

WOULD YOU CLICK IT?

TEAMWORK doesn't always work that well.