What do you do when God ain't good enough? Now that's a softball question! In this week's episode, Fr. Joseph is still looking for that softball.

What's the difference between Orthodox Christians' participation on the Internet and, say, secular scoundrels? Sometimes, it seems, not much. Fr. Joseph admits his foot's been in his mouth but his tongue's still in his cheek; in other words: "Let's be careful out there!"

There is perfect freedom in Christ, but when it comes to the church: don't cross your legs, leave your crumbs, or even bring your gum! Fr Joseph rehearses a few of the dos and don'ts of temple worship.

Fr. Joseph revisits "The Tonight Show" and dreams of hosting, guesting and side-kicking (featuring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Conan O'Brien, Carnac the Magnorfodox, David of Wales, Red Skelton, "the world's greatest grape catcher" and more)!

Due to circumstances beyond his control, Fr. Joseph recorded this podcast from his bathroom. This is a true statement and has nothing to do with the title of this episode (which, thanks to St. Paul, includes a bad word seldom uttered politely).

What do you say when a ten-year-old says, "My best friend is gay"? How 'bout cartoon friends, can they be gay? Fr. Joseph wades in where even Elmer Fudd dares tread in this first episode of a two part series on . . . well, you know what the topic is.

From Bert and Ernie to parents, kids, and a pope—Fr Joseph talks about the struggles and the goal of sexuality in part two of this two-part series.

Fr Joseph—in his previous life—rolled yards, bent forks, painted water towers, and was, on more than one occasion, killed by his father. (Some of which is actually true.) In the end, hats off to fear!

Fr. Joseph was part of a delegation that traveled to Syria, September 13-18, 2011, on a fact-finding mission, especially regarding the three million Christians in that country. This episode of the Orthodixie podcast includes the one question he asked Syrian President Bashar al-Assad, as well as other observations.

Fr. Joseph bumps into Mariah, the Grinch, and the Boston Pops, as he beats up a camera man, a mother, and a child—all in the name of "winter."

Fr Joseph slips into something a little less comfortable, but it's what everyone wears in the Kingdom!

Ever tempted by those misbaving in church—you know, the parents? (Of course, kids can be quite the nuisance, too.) Fr. Joseph ventures where angels, at least priests—even parents, fear to tread!

A long time ago, in a parish far, far away . . . It is a period of church war. Ortho-Nerds, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the Nominal Ecclesiarch. During the struggle, Ortho-Nerd spies managed to steal secret plans to the Ecclesiarch's ultimate weapon, the Death Pew . . . (Also in this episode, Fr Joseph says: geek, dork, loser, dweeb, tetragrammaton, gamer, and emo.)

Where do sermons come from? Well, they sure don't come from Neil Young, Stephen Bishop, George Jones, or the Bay City Rollers! But these, and more, join John Chrysostom and John of Kronstadt in this episode, which begins, of course, with Sammy Davis Jr.

In this episode, which features a guest appearance by Fr. Danislav Gregorio, Fr. Joseph intends to show a vagabond who's boss! Hard to explain, but it doesn't quite turn out as planned.

All the hoopla about a former Olympic star so-called transitioning into the opposite sex (Girl Scouts, Boys Scouts, bathrooms, and blah blah) has just about sent Fr Joseph over the edge. He dreams of setting Fr. Danislav straight, or vice versa.

With current events around the country following the recent election, this episode might not typify the "lighter side of Orthodoxy"—but we Christians are called to be the light, right?

As the following game show reveals, some of your favorite Bible verses might not be in the Bible!

Ain't nuthin light about the Cross, so it wasn't in Fr Joseph's plans. (Nor had he planned for the absence of family, choir members and director, a dying dog, and his own wretchedness during the time of the Lenten retreat with Mother Melania.)

Fr Joseph confesses his gluttony and lack of wisdom—also known as his trip to Lebanon.

Looking back: first, ten years; then, past Mary Poppins; all the way to Arius—even to a dinosaur—Fr. Joseph sings a couple Orthodox ditties, recounts a heretical tune, and concludes with possibly worse!

FYI, this episode is a gentle rant. It's not PC, but GTGFAT.

You ever had a wreck with the bishop in the car? Yeah, well, lemme tell ya before he does: I have!

The legend of Sunshine Boy and his lesson in humility.

Children, parents and grandparents - whatever condition we find ourselves in, God knows and understands.

Be inspired by the phenomenal story of St. Moses the Black: a model for us all no matter the color of our "sin."

Today, Fr. Joseph is reading his fan mail and coming across some interesting questions!

You know how strange dreams can be when you're not sleeping in your own bed? Well this one ranks up there with the strangest but, as usual, Fr. Joseph has a very practical application.

Fr Joseph, with help from Fr Thomas Hopko and Elder Porphyrios, delves into the malady known as Nojoyatall.

Fr Joseph, struggling toward humility in the first week of the Fast, tells of his first visit to Fasters Anonymous... and their curious theme song.

Fr. Anthony reminds his fellow priests that they need to give up everything for Christ in order to effectively serve and assist their people.

In this episode, Fr. Anthony responds to questions on how to choose which jurisdiction to serve in, how he ended up as a priest in the Ukrainian Orthodox Church, and what his thoughts are on the scheduled Great Council. After a (satirical) word from a sponsor, the show concludes with the results of an interview with UOC-USA priest and Canonist, Fr. Harry Linsinbigler, on Canon Law and the priesthood. Enjoy the show!

In this episode, Fr. Anthony uses insights from his former career in intelligence to explain the spiritual vulnerability of our priests (and the need for vigilance). After a commercial break for a new type of Paschal vestment, he then offers a first draft of a priestly "Code of Honor.

Fr. Anthony interviews Fr. Gregory Jensen about the need for priests to know themselves.

Many priests have a problem with committing themselves at a pace that is unsustainable. In this podcast Fr. Anthony and Fr. Gregory Jensen talk about why priests have a hard time saying no and why it is important that it make its way into our vocabulary.

In this episode, Fr. Anthony interviews iconographer Lynette Hull of the Prosopon School (prosoponschool.org). She shares her thoughts on what happens when parishes compromise on icon composition and style, how missions should prioritize their collection of icons, and why it is important that priests immerse themselves in the production (and not just the study and veneration) of icons. She also shows considerable restraint as she works around Fr. Anthony's (attempts at) humor. Enjoy the show!

Fr. Anthony and Fr. John (Sts. Peter and Paul in Carnegie, PA) get caught up for the first time since the "Anaxios - Christmas Gifts Shopping Hour." They discuss Fr. John's first Pascha in his new parish, Fr. Anthony's last Pascha before his big move, and how awesome it was to have an Anaxios Laser Spear (TM) at Friday Presanctified's (the challenge is real!). Along the way, they share some thoughts on how to manage and lead parishes through change and how our current ecclesial troubles affect the balance of our evangelical witness. Enjoy the show!

In this cross-over episode, Fr. Anthony talks with his friend Pastor Michael Landsman, co-host of the Areopagus Podcast, about their CPE experiences, Fr. Anthony's transition to a new life, playing D&D, and how important it is for clergy to have (non-parishioner) friends in their lives for discernment and relaxed fellowship. Enjoy the show!

Join Fr. Anthony in Hartwell, GA as he talks with Professor Adam DeVille (University of Saint Francis, Fort Wayne, IN) about proper and improper ways of framing self-care, why it is so easy to get it wrong, and why it is important to get it right. They also spend quite a bit of time talking about reconciliation and polarization. Dr. DeVille is the author of Everything Hidden Shall Be Revealed: Ridding the Church of Abuses of Sex and Power. He blogs (prolifically and well) at “Eastern Christian Books.” There’s a bit of ironically timed electronic mischief in the middle, but the worst of it has been edited out. This is the audio from Fr. Anthony’s YouTube livestream (12/21/2020). Professor DeVille’s article on this topic is available here.

You may recognize Dn Timothy Kelleher from his appearances in NCIS, Independence Day, Thirteen Days and other movies and shows, but he has also published many thoughtful essays in First Things, Church Life Journal, and now the National Review (among others). In this episode, he and Fr. Anthony talk about Dn. Timothy's two most recent essays; "Memories of a Staten Island Childhood" and "A Nation of Sinners." You can read these essays and others at timkelleher.org. Enjoy the show!

Fr. Anthony talks again with Fr. Harry Linsinbigler, the Canonist for the UOC-USA about what the Canons say (and don't say!) about clergy attire, hair, and beards. They make the case that, unless their bishops say otherwise, priests can adjust to what they discern is best going to meet the needs of the Gospel where they are. A bonus: you can hear just how bad Fr. Anthony is at liturgical math! Enjoy the show!

Fr. Anthony talks with Fr. Harry Linsinbigler, the Canonist for the UOC-USA, about how priests should prepare for confession, the role of penance in confession, the importance of protecting the confidentiality ("seal") or confession, and what needs to happen when that confidentiality is broken. It's an important but difficult subject and we look forward to your questions and comments.

In this episode Fr. Anthony talks with Fr. Harry, the Canonist for the UOC-USA, about the scriptural and canonical context and instructions about sex. Framing it within the context of holiness, they address real issues that Christians need to understand and deal with in the materialist and sex-saturated age. Warning: some graphic terms were used (e.g. fornication, masturbation, adultery).

Today Fr. Anthony waves the "Good Idea Wand" (a cursed artifact to be sure) to come up with solutions to the problem of maladjusted clergy. He then invites Fr. Gregory to evaluate them. The ideas they discuss are; psychological evaluations, mandatory reporting of credit scores and financial debt, annual performance evaluations, and peer reviews. In the end, they both agree that even though solutions like these may offer short-term benefits, the best solution is to facilitate the growth of genuinely Orthodox cultures and institutions. Enjoy the show!

Elissa explains how to help children who struggle with doubt about the existence of God.

Elissa reminds us that if God were fair, we would be in big trouble.

Elissa addresses the issue of testing Sunday School students.

Elissa tells the complete story of Noah's Ark to demonstrate how doing so can be used to teach children about why we go to—and participate in the disciplines of—the Holy Orthodox Church.

Some years, Bright Week is filled with joy, but there are other years when we are just worn out. Have we done Pascha wrong? What do we do next?

Elissa interviews Jenny Stasinopoulos, the Director of Youth and Young Adult Ministries at the GOA Metropolis of Denver about a big change she made this year at Camp Emmanuel. Perhaps we should all consider innovative ways to empower our kids to take responsibility for their own faith lives!